Class of March 2016 part 42
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
PJ I enjoyed your description of the LBGTQI Mardi Gras. I miss the happiness from these folks here.
In January I flew to the Women's March on Washington in DC. I don't know what got into me, but I needed to be there. I took my daughter. Was glad to be there. My most memorable moment though, came when I sat resting on a wall waiting for the march to start. Struck up a conversation with a woman, who I later learned was gay. She married her partner of 20 years just recently when it became legal.
She was from New York City, and knew our President pretty well. She spoke of fear...saying for the first time in her life (she was over 50), she was afraid of what was happening. She told me why and she told me of what she's doing to protect herself. I wanted to assure her that things will be ok, but I couldn't because it would have been a lie. All I could say was that she wasn't alone.
It's a conversation that won't leave my mind. Hearing about your happy parade...made me think of it again. Such a change - not all that long ago the White House was lit up in rainbow lights.
A couple of years ago I took my dad to D.C. and we waited like five hours at dawn to see a Supreme Court case. If someone was sleeping on that marble...they were cold! I couldn't get warm all morning. The cold marble even invaded my think boots.
Afterwards, we found a pizza place for lunch - called "We the Pizza." ha!
It's a town that is deeply affecting if you're listening, so it must be good food for your art.
In January I flew to the Women's March on Washington in DC. I don't know what got into me, but I needed to be there. I took my daughter. Was glad to be there. My most memorable moment though, came when I sat resting on a wall waiting for the march to start. Struck up a conversation with a woman, who I later learned was gay. She married her partner of 20 years just recently when it became legal.
She was from New York City, and knew our President pretty well. She spoke of fear...saying for the first time in her life (she was over 50), she was afraid of what was happening. She told me why and she told me of what she's doing to protect herself. I wanted to assure her that things will be ok, but I couldn't because it would have been a lie. All I could say was that she wasn't alone.
It's a conversation that won't leave my mind. Hearing about your happy parade...made me think of it again. Such a change - not all that long ago the White House was lit up in rainbow lights.
A couple of years ago I took my dad to D.C. and we waited like five hours at dawn to see a Supreme Court case. If someone was sleeping on that marble...they were cold! I couldn't get warm all morning. The cold marble even invaded my think boots.
Afterwards, we found a pizza place for lunch - called "We the Pizza." ha!
It's a town that is deeply affecting if you're listening, so it must be good food for your art.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
So, checking in. Feeling good and really not even tempted to drink the last couple of weeks. Movin' on I hope. Just tired of it. Exhaustion.
Had a lot of starting fluid so I'm off to go burn off some energy. Costco calls to me because it's coffee road show weekend and I need to stock up on Nutty Doodle. The acre of wine (seriously do they need to offer that much alcohol to people?) always gives me pause but the salute sounds like a good tool.
Avagoodday everyone.
Had a lot of starting fluid so I'm off to go burn off some energy. Costco calls to me because it's coffee road show weekend and I need to stock up on Nutty Doodle. The acre of wine (seriously do they need to offer that much alcohol to people?) always gives me pause but the salute sounds like a good tool.
Avagoodday everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,905
Hey there! I made it home from work....had a couple of thoughts about going to the bar, but swatted that away.....agitation from traffic & one toxic coworker who ruins it for the rest of us. I think I need a nap! 
I saw an advertisement for a show coming on tonight that I'm actually interested in watching! It's called "Feud" - a series about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford .....I've been fascinated with both of them for the longest time. It doesn't come on till 10 so I'm gonna try and record it....I'm usually in sleepyland by then!
I saw an advertisement for a show coming on tonight that I'm actually interested in watching! It's called "Feud" - a series about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford .....I've been fascinated with both of them for the longest time. It doesn't come on till 10 so I'm gonna try and record it....I'm usually in sleepyland by then!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,224
About to head to bed so I can start the work week on the right foot. I tend to stay up too late on Sunday trying to postpone Monday morning. Not a good strategy. Had a fairly productive weekend. A lot of quality time with DD including a game of Monopoly tonight where she crushed me and loved every minute of it. She did get grounded from screens until tomorrow morning after I caught her trying to sneak her iPod at the dinner table. She rarely gets into trouble, so there was a bit of drama to manage in the aftermath. She's a pretty sensitive kid and getting in trouble is devastating to her.. BUT, it did create some of that quality time we got to spend together 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,224
Something that popped in my FB feed that spoke to me.
I Was Perpetually Angry Until Joy Became My Goal
I Was Perpetually Angry Until Joy Became My Goal
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,197
Good morning. Confession time. I didn't drink. Yet. But I did drive halfway across town last night (every other liquor store closes at five on Sunday) after an especially horrible first day back at work and bought eight coolers. I got home and sat on the couch and let myself do everything that typically leads to a binge...I didn't log on here, I didn't text or reach out to any friends, I ate poorly, I didn't have a tea or wash my face or do any other part of my normal bedtime routine. And then a miracle happened...I fell asleep. And when I woke up the craving had passed. I slowly dumped every last drop of all eight coolers out into the sink and I went to bed. Slept like crap, woke up with a headache...I feel hungover....but I'm not thankfully, although the whole thing scared the crap out of me and my AV is most definitely awake. And with that the confession is over. Going to be vigilant today. Love you guys.
so U are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
Here is my bit for the day (2300 Monday). 6 months ago- through a professional community advocate- I lodged an application for long term housing. Today I found out- despite it being lodged by this agency and it being sent digitally- they have NO record of it. They do not back date to prioritise- so back to square one. A real lesson in mindful thinking. I also felt stupid for assuming this stuff was going through and insignificant- just another small particle in the universe. This triggered emotions of feeling vulnerable- and (of course) MY house, family etc. I am still at the aaargh/crap stage. Nowhere near the que sera stage.
Sigh.
Sigh.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Holy cow, Sam. I'm so glad you fell asleep! That's a real bonus. Sorry you are feeling kind of crappy today, but 71 days is great.
PJ, I think you've got the coping skills to handle this. Still, that is too bad about the housing application. Good luck!
I've got a bit of headache this morning after suffering through an incredibly boring dinner last night. Drinking was never on the table for me - the situation was bad enough to begin with.
My son has school break next week, so he'll be coming to visit for 5 days starting Sunday. Really looking forward to that.
Have a great day!
PJ, I think you've got the coping skills to handle this. Still, that is too bad about the housing application. Good luck!
I've got a bit of headache this morning after suffering through an incredibly boring dinner last night. Drinking was never on the table for me - the situation was bad enough to begin with.
My son has school break next week, so he'll be coming to visit for 5 days starting Sunday. Really looking forward to that.
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,224
Sam - well done. Thank you for sharing that. I think it's something many of us can draw upon in that moment of teetering on the edge. Hope you feel better as the day goes on.
PJ - Agree with MITA . Crap situation, but it will sort itself out.
Bobbie - hope you have an awesome day.
BBG - morning!!
I'm SO tired today. Didn't sleep well at all. Startin fluid is going to be my friend today.
PJ - Agree with MITA . Crap situation, but it will sort itself out.
Bobbie - hope you have an awesome day.
BBG - morning!!
I'm SO tired today. Didn't sleep well at all. Startin fluid is going to be my friend today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Sam - great job pouring it out. I know how hard it was. I remember my own night of just looking at the vodka I had just bought and thinking - it would be easier to just drink it and stop fighting. So glad that drain is there to dump the stuff. That's where it belongs.
I'm weird right now. I think it started Saturday. I was pretty sure my son was using again. He came into money on Monday and his thinking started changing at that point. You could tell.
So, I get up Saturday. Tried to get in my long run - heart wasn't in it - I think I ran about 3.5 miles. Ran some errands with my husband and left to go to a friend's daughter's wedding. I drove 40 minutes to the wedding, looked at the church and turned around and went back home. You see, even though I'm not drinking, I still have anxiety issues sometimes. The reasons I drank before are still there and sometimes, they pop up out of nowhere I guess.
Spoke to my son. Told him he sounded messed up. He made some weird excuse and I thought, wow, I've used the same one.
My daughter turned 21 on Saturday. We went to dinner with her at a pub by our house. Friends and my sons showed up to help her celebrate. People bought her shots, a friend made her a cute "shot book" and she had to wear a sash and tiara and it was a lot of fun for her. It was a lot of things for me. Melancholy over something I'll never be a part of again. Fear for her that she will also inherit my genetic defect of character (AA much?), anger at our society that this is a thing.
Yesterday was more normal. Cupcakes, family, coffee, babies. Then, my son came home, said he appreciated all that we had done, but he was moving back to his dads, we were too overbearing. My heart feels shattered.
So, today. I am 9 months sober. I am feeling all my feelings which sucks!!! But I'll be okay. Am already better just typing this out. I have learned coping skills to get through all of this. It's just not all cupcakes and puppies. I'm okay with that.
Love you all.
Have a fantastic day. Mine is already getting better.
I'm weird right now. I think it started Saturday. I was pretty sure my son was using again. He came into money on Monday and his thinking started changing at that point. You could tell.
So, I get up Saturday. Tried to get in my long run - heart wasn't in it - I think I ran about 3.5 miles. Ran some errands with my husband and left to go to a friend's daughter's wedding. I drove 40 minutes to the wedding, looked at the church and turned around and went back home. You see, even though I'm not drinking, I still have anxiety issues sometimes. The reasons I drank before are still there and sometimes, they pop up out of nowhere I guess.
Spoke to my son. Told him he sounded messed up. He made some weird excuse and I thought, wow, I've used the same one.
My daughter turned 21 on Saturday. We went to dinner with her at a pub by our house. Friends and my sons showed up to help her celebrate. People bought her shots, a friend made her a cute "shot book" and she had to wear a sash and tiara and it was a lot of fun for her. It was a lot of things for me. Melancholy over something I'll never be a part of again. Fear for her that she will also inherit my genetic defect of character (AA much?), anger at our society that this is a thing.
Yesterday was more normal. Cupcakes, family, coffee, babies. Then, my son came home, said he appreciated all that we had done, but he was moving back to his dads, we were too overbearing. My heart feels shattered.
So, today. I am 9 months sober. I am feeling all my feelings which sucks!!! But I'll be okay. Am already better just typing this out. I have learned coping skills to get through all of this. It's just not all cupcakes and puppies. I'm okay with that.
Love you all.
Have a fantastic day. Mine is already getting better.
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