Class of January 2017 Support Thread Part 4
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Originally Posted by WhiskeyBent 
Im finding it harder and hard to post. I know i should keep honest here but after the 30 day mark i seem to slow down.
If you don't maintain your 'engine', you're going to rely on it one day and it's going to let you down.
Some days it's hard to think about our recovery, much less put some time into it, but those are the days we really need it - I believe that's whats kept me sane and sober
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Welcome back Trees39 - I appreciate your honesty and am glad you decided to come back.
WhiskeyBent - What do you think is making it harder to post? Is it depression, or you getting busy with other stuff, or something else?
Its the evening here for me. I realized earlier today I've been coming down with a cold since last night. I'm going to skip my meditation class tonight and go to bed early. Hopefully it doesnt get worse before tomorrow morning.
Have a good night all
WhiskeyBent - What do you think is making it harder to post? Is it depression, or you getting busy with other stuff, or something else?
Its the evening here for me. I realized earlier today I've been coming down with a cold since last night. I'm going to skip my meditation class tonight and go to bed early. Hopefully it doesnt get worse before tomorrow morning.
Have a good night all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 33
Trees, you hang in there. I, too, am hanging on by my fingernails moment to moment.
Today was day nine. Tomorrow, God willing, I will be in double digits. My husband has been so supportive of my recovery., which is remarkable since he was blindsided by the whole thing when I revealed the extent of my problem. You see, I was a master of hiding this beast for years and was very good at the deception. When I started NEEDING to drink at work during the day and in the middle of the night just to not get physically ill, I knew I had to come clean. There is so much shame for me to even say this out loud.
So, while 10 days is huge, I still feel so fragile. This group really really helps. Keep staying strong and going forward. You all are an inspiration. I want to be the one saying "day 30 here!"
Today was day nine. Tomorrow, God willing, I will be in double digits. My husband has been so supportive of my recovery., which is remarkable since he was blindsided by the whole thing when I revealed the extent of my problem. You see, I was a master of hiding this beast for years and was very good at the deception. When I started NEEDING to drink at work during the day and in the middle of the night just to not get physically ill, I knew I had to come clean. There is so much shame for me to even say this out loud.
So, while 10 days is huge, I still feel so fragile. This group really really helps. Keep staying strong and going forward. You all are an inspiration. I want to be the one saying "day 30 here!"
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 37
Hey all
I've not posted here for bit, closing day36, I did go to AA meeting last week and received my coin from my new sponsor..I was really blessed by GOD...she showed up on my first meeting we were only girls there..she gave me her # and she has been so supportive ever since..so I asked her to be my sponsor.😆 thoughts of alcohol still come but I just dismiss them..finding going and doing things again is enjoyment...I had gotten so bad I basically created my own house arrest due to drinking. I am also doing better in school since my brain is present and not chemically altered..and my family has been so supportive..staying sober one day at a time!😉
*Ex Missus
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 410
Trees sorry to hear you're back at day one but happy to see you're right back on the wagon. As Dee would ask, what do you plan to do differently this time?
WhiskeyBent, I am so with you on the struggling to post but I am using brute force with myself. The same as I used to have to do with brushing my teeth before bed when I was teen lol
Day 38 (i think) I went to a good meeting yesterday, going to meetings is akin to posting here. I need to do it or I give the AV room to lie in wait like the crocodile it is in muddy shallow waters. I shared at the meeting basically what I posted here about starting to feel like I've learnt enough, don't need any more lessons, and I'll see you all later. They laughed. I'm serious though. I have to keep showing up. Have to stay active in recovery. Have to learn how to live sober in my own skin.
I slept last night from 5pm till 4am. I've gone all wonky but I'm sober and posting. So I'll take it. Have a great day everyone.
WhiskeyBent, I am so with you on the struggling to post but I am using brute force with myself. The same as I used to have to do with brushing my teeth before bed when I was teen lol
Day 38 (i think) I went to a good meeting yesterday, going to meetings is akin to posting here. I need to do it or I give the AV room to lie in wait like the crocodile it is in muddy shallow waters. I shared at the meeting basically what I posted here about starting to feel like I've learnt enough, don't need any more lessons, and I'll see you all later. They laughed. I'm serious though. I have to keep showing up. Have to stay active in recovery. Have to learn how to live sober in my own skin.
I slept last night from 5pm till 4am. I've gone all wonky but I'm sober and posting. So I'll take it. Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Good morning all on about day 28 here. Sorry to see you struggle so much Trees. It reminded me of the AA meeting I went to last night. There's a guy who has been sober a while but who 'went out' as they say a few weeks ago and has been struggling to get sober again. He has been at three or four of the last ten or so meetings I have been to, but left half way through - to go to the pub as someone else told me a bit later.
Last night he did it again. He actually left in tears saying 'sorry' sorry' on his way out. I felt so sorry for him and the meeting - a smallish one of about 18 people didn't comment except to express compassion in a general way, which was quite right of course.
The addiction is a bastard alright. I am very lucky today to say I have no desire to drink at all and I'm hoping very much that things stay that way.
All the best to you guys. Keep it up. There's nothing on offer from the booze except very (very) temporary oblivion.
Last night he did it again. He actually left in tears saying 'sorry' sorry' on his way out. I felt so sorry for him and the meeting - a smallish one of about 18 people didn't comment except to express compassion in a general way, which was quite right of course.
The addiction is a bastard alright. I am very lucky today to say I have no desire to drink at all and I'm hoping very much that things stay that way.
All the best to you guys. Keep it up. There's nothing on offer from the booze except very (very) temporary oblivion.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
day38. Sorry to those that have slipped up. Being honest, coming back and talking about it to your anonymous January team mates is a great start back. Those who are still hanging on, you should feel proud of your achievements. This is such a tough journey we are all on.
I also have had a few times where I have almost slipped up. This is not my first attempt of sobriety on SR.
In case it helps anyone else, this time, I have been visualising the life I want this year and reminding myself of how bad it got all the previous years. I will keep pushing through. I can't go back.
On the positive side, I am finding myself in typical stressful situations at work or loved ones but feeling calmer and more reasoned. My relationships with people are changing and find I am listening more. Things are still tough but clarity is definitely growing. Even if my sleep patterns are totally eff*d up, as you all know.
Have a great day team mates. Thinking of you all. One more day.
I also have had a few times where I have almost slipped up. This is not my first attempt of sobriety on SR.
In case it helps anyone else, this time, I have been visualising the life I want this year and reminding myself of how bad it got all the previous years. I will keep pushing through. I can't go back.
On the positive side, I am finding myself in typical stressful situations at work or loved ones but feeling calmer and more reasoned. My relationships with people are changing and find I am listening more. Things are still tough but clarity is definitely growing. Even if my sleep patterns are totally eff*d up, as you all know.
Have a great day team mates. Thinking of you all. One more day.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Hi guys
Thanks for the support. It is definitely complacency. You get into a groove, thinking you have it licked. The first two weeks every thing is very acute. You feel every move. Day 30 it starts to bleed together. Life becomes what it should be.....steady....life. But that's when the slip can happen, I see that.
My new ideas is to try to get out of my own head. I think that what im getting sick of. Sitting down infront of the computer and typing out what im thinking or how im feeling. Maybe I need to give back, or engage in caring for others. Dee doesnt it really well. Some of you are great and asking questions of others. Or replying to certain peoples struggles. Just a thought.
Off to work. Good way to get out of my head. Thanks for listening.
have a good day
Thanks for the support. It is definitely complacency. You get into a groove, thinking you have it licked. The first two weeks every thing is very acute. You feel every move. Day 30 it starts to bleed together. Life becomes what it should be.....steady....life. But that's when the slip can happen, I see that.
My new ideas is to try to get out of my own head. I think that what im getting sick of. Sitting down infront of the computer and typing out what im thinking or how im feeling. Maybe I need to give back, or engage in caring for others. Dee doesnt it really well. Some of you are great and asking questions of others. Or replying to certain peoples struggles. Just a thought.
Off to work. Good way to get out of my head. Thanks for listening.
have a good day
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Southern US
Posts: 126
Morning all. Trees, you are back here, which is the important thing. Any thoughts on how to adjust your plan? Hang in there. Today is a new day!
Whiskey - I feel the same way at times. One of my favorite movies when my kids were younger was Finding Nemo. The last line of the movie when everyone had "escaped" their "captivity" of the "aquarium" and were floating in the ocean was...."now what?" Kind of how I feel some days. The immediate pain of my last binge is long gone...now what? Well, for me, I may not know what now....,but, I do know I need to keep posting here, have a plan, and not drink today. Some days that is my "now what." Hang in there!
Good day to all. Gonna' have me a fancy coffee on the way to work. Congrats on a other 24. CW.
Whiskey - I feel the same way at times. One of my favorite movies when my kids were younger was Finding Nemo. The last line of the movie when everyone had "escaped" their "captivity" of the "aquarium" and were floating in the ocean was...."now what?" Kind of how I feel some days. The immediate pain of my last binge is long gone...now what? Well, for me, I may not know what now....,but, I do know I need to keep posting here, have a plan, and not drink today. Some days that is my "now what." Hang in there!
Good day to all. Gonna' have me a fancy coffee on the way to work. Congrats on a other 24. CW.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
Morning all. Tree, glad you came back. Don't give up.
I'm still getting cravings too, but they're fewer and farther between. I get the getting complacent. I think recovery is a life long process and we have to keep it top priority, or else it spells trouble.
Glad we have so many still holding on. Have a good day
I'm still getting cravings too, but they're fewer and farther between. I get the getting complacent. I think recovery is a life long process and we have to keep it top priority, or else it spells trouble.
Glad we have so many still holding on. Have a good day
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Morning all - 1 month sober for me today. My reward is to wake up feeling sick -ha! But at least its not too bad, and I'll take being a little sick over being very hungover.
Whiskey - I hear you on the complacency. I get it too. I think its easy for most of us to start feeling better, and get back in the groove of life a bit, and let the recovery habits fall away. It seems to be especially dangerous in early recovery since we're still very close to using, even if we don't feel like it much one day to the next. I know I've fallen into that trap before in early sobriety and then relapsed, and then lost everything I'd worked to get back in the previous month or two. My world then shrinks back up very fast and its very demoralizing. One of the reasons I want to keep posting here regularly is I have a really hard time speaking in groups, and especially sharing about myself in groups, so this is my main outlet, other than meeting people in recovery every once in awhile for coffee, or chatting a little before or after a meeting.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you and everyone else are still here and posting. I hope you have a great day.
Whiskey - I hear you on the complacency. I get it too. I think its easy for most of us to start feeling better, and get back in the groove of life a bit, and let the recovery habits fall away. It seems to be especially dangerous in early recovery since we're still very close to using, even if we don't feel like it much one day to the next. I know I've fallen into that trap before in early sobriety and then relapsed, and then lost everything I'd worked to get back in the previous month or two. My world then shrinks back up very fast and its very demoralizing. One of the reasons I want to keep posting here regularly is I have a really hard time speaking in groups, and especially sharing about myself in groups, so this is my main outlet, other than meeting people in recovery every once in awhile for coffee, or chatting a little before or after a meeting.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you and everyone else are still here and posting. I hope you have a great day.
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hello. Just a quick check in from my phone.
WhiskeyBent, I felt completely flat after completing January. I think this is a time of transition from short term targets to settling in to 'ordinary' life again. You're not alone. But we know things are not going to be good if we go back to drink.
Trees. Please stay with us. We don't shoot our wounded here. Well done on being honest. I read somewhere here a lapse doesn't have to turn into a relapse, and coming straight back here must help that come true.
WhiskeyBent, I felt completely flat after completing January. I think this is a time of transition from short term targets to settling in to 'ordinary' life again. You're not alone. But we know things are not going to be good if we go back to drink.
Trees. Please stay with us. We don't shoot our wounded here. Well done on being honest. I read somewhere here a lapse doesn't have to turn into a relapse, and coming straight back here must help that come true.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Hey class.
I'm sorry to hear that you decided to take a drink Trees. I know that using the word "decided" sounds harsh but it didn't just happen. Try to accurately reflect back to the second you put that drink to your mouth. What were you thinking? What could you have done a minute, hour, day before to prevent that killer first drink. I am not judging merely trying to help you stop this endless rollercoaster ride again. You absolutely can do this, Trees, but it's not going to just happen.
Complacency seems to be a recurring warning flag recently. I think it's a huge stumbling block for me and I intend to use SR reading, posting, meditation and mindfulness to keep on top of it.
More later, stuff to do!
Peace Love and Strength my friends.
I'm sorry to hear that you decided to take a drink Trees. I know that using the word "decided" sounds harsh but it didn't just happen. Try to accurately reflect back to the second you put that drink to your mouth. What were you thinking? What could you have done a minute, hour, day before to prevent that killer first drink. I am not judging merely trying to help you stop this endless rollercoaster ride again. You absolutely can do this, Trees, but it's not going to just happen.
Complacency seems to be a recurring warning flag recently. I think it's a huge stumbling block for me and I intend to use SR reading, posting, meditation and mindfulness to keep on top of it.
More later, stuff to do!
Peace Love and Strength my friends.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
