JackDsMissus

Its a deadly business indeed Mentium. Just watched that Risky Drinking docu after seeing a thread about it here. My days the fella Neal was in a bad way. So glad we don't have to let it get to that stage, we can stop and stay stopped now if we put the work in.

day 25

Michael66

Yep - Mentium's AA group, and that documentary, is a reminder that alcohol is deadly.

Here is that Risky Drinking documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrTlI6seM0A&t=4s

And also a similar one, Rain In My Heart, from the UK (which, as a warning, has some pretty graphic scenes of end-stage alcoholism) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwv7Utcf-gM

JackDsMissus

Well now I know what I'm doing with the next couple hours... Thanks for this Michael.

JackDsMissus

Oh Michael, Rain in my Heart was so harrowing Good grief. I just spent the last half hour trying to find the follow up but it seems no one down/uploaded it and it isn't available on the news site anymore. I did read on a forum that only Mark is still living. How tragic. These videos could be used as aversion therapy. I've bookmarked it for any future wobbles.

Sparkos

Thanks for sharing that link, Michael. I just watched it all. Powerful stuff. I could well see myself deteriorating to that level of despair and self harm if I continued on my relentless journey to oblivion. As you say, pretty graphic, but nonetheless very honest portrayal of how pathetic we, as hopeless alcoholics, can become.

Sparkos

Totally agree with you JDM

Dee74

Good to see you in motivation mode again Fortress

Yeah it is really serious Mentium. I've lost a few SR friends now.

D

lovehoops

Hi everyone,

just a quick check in. Glad to see everyone is here and posting.
Welcome to the new classmates.
I too, had a drinking dream last night.I dreamt that my husband found bottles in my hiding spots and I couldn't think of any more excuses....terrible feeling.

Last week I saw a documentary on "moms drinking"and how they felt the deserved it after working all day and dealing with kids. ...Not that they dont work hard (I do,...Im a mom and work full time out of the home) but how it was so hard for these women to admit it had gotten to a problematic level. That was me..or is me....though Ive known its been a problem for years. I had almost 7 years sober at one time but then drank again and have been struggling for the past 5 or so years...

I am going to continue to post on SR and take things one day at a time.

Have a sober evening all xo

bluedog97

Day 7. I couldn't start IOP this morning due to a minor emergency. It threw my day off all day. Something has just felt really off all day. Im agitated and sort of bummed out. I can't really pinpoint why, a lot of things I guess. I need to post here more. I guess this is to be expected this early on.

I didn't drink, I guess that's the plus side. But I cant say it hasn't crossed my mind. Welcome to the newcomers, hope everyone is doing ok.

Dee74

post here as much as you need to bluedog - that's what it's for

D

Ina123

Hey everyone,
Just checking in on day 25.
Thank Michael for posting those links, I've been having an off day and those documentaries were a frightening reminder of the power of alcohol and the deathly grip it can have.
bluedog, I'm sorry your IOP had to be delayed...keep posting...you can get through today!!!!
Welcome to all the new classmates!!!

nyhawkeye563

Hello,
New here. First time reader and poster. 4 days sober. Will post more about me some other time. Glad there's an anonymous support community.

PhoenixJ

I do not post here much- just content to offer support by 'the click' and learn. I will offer stuff when I feel it is of use.
Last year in the deprivation of my custom made hell- before discovering here (and other 'real world' stuff) I coped by watching hundreds, possibly thousands of hours of doco's on aocoholism. M66- your was one of them. Such a contradiction. If the perecentage of people in a Western FIRST world country was so significant that it effected taxes, health, cost to the state, deaths, injury, mental health problems, domestic violence, suicide, lost working hours blah was high and caused by a proven physical reason, say- the Bubonic plague- all stops would be out to eradicate it.
Alcohol is a social and cultural norm. It cannot be treated just as a physical sickness. It has dimensions that transcend this. Tax on booze (just like gambling and ciggies) is huge for revenue raising as well. That is where on the ground- person to person stuff makes such a difference. SR, AA, SMART- therapists, OP, Rehab....
In most cases I have seen- good support is necessary. In all cases- it has to be the individual who wants to beat the addiction. Some blame their behaviour over the years as being because alcoholism is a disease. They can quote from various respectable sources and feel better about that- but if change does not follow- with no drinking and mental health- go figure.
A person with bubonic plague does not run away from it, explain it away- they would be terrified and get help- do anything to fight for life.
So that doco drives home a salient point- society has responsibilities as do it's members.

StartingOverNW

Going to bed at the end of day 18. I unexpectedly got caught in some really bad traffic for most of an hour this evening, and downtown traffic is a big trigger for me. In the middle of being caught in traffic I stopped by the grocery store because I needed some groceries but also to give things a little time to settle down from all the accidents or whatever was causing the mess on the streets. I found myself walking through the beer section and suddenly a 6-pack looked really good.

There were a few moments where buying some beer felt like a genuinely good idea, but the thought of throwing away 18 days after it took over a year just to get back to a week, helped calm me down. I was also able to apply an approach both my psychologist and the dharma teachings in the meditation class suggest - that instead of resisting and attempting to force the cravings to shut down, I instead was able to calmly examine the craving with what I tried to use 'friendly curiosity', and instead of trying to force it to go away, accept it as something normal and reasonable for what I was going through. Instead of fighting it I kind of just let it be there, and this really made it a lot easier to deal with. I was able to accept that it was the result of a build up of stress from driving, and that I knew if I ate food (dinner) and rested the stress would go away and so would the craving.

So I got the food I wanted to get, plus some potato chips and ice cream to give me something extra enjoyable to eat, then got back on the road for the rest of the 20mins home, ate chips on the way, ate dinner and some ice cream at home, watched 2 episodes of House of Cards on Netflix, and now feel pretty good without the cravings, though a tiny bit of a tension headache from the drive. I also texted another friend in recovery and vented about the traffic and we shared a good exchange and some laughs about it. This is definitely growth and progress in a new way I havent experienced over a long period of time in recovery, with relapses, and some sober periods over a period of many years.

So anyway, it feels very good to be going to sleep sober tonight, and to feel like I learned something important about myself and the way I can honestly look at cravings when they happen instead of trying to shove them down and force them to go away which really just compounds the stress and makes it worse (at least for me).

Good night everyone

PhoenixJ

Delilah1

I was the same way. I have a year and one month sober, but had struggled for three years prior trying to get sobriety to stick. I have three kids, and work full time, I always felt I earned that glass (or six) of wine at the end of the day. I am glad to be out of the cycle.

PhoenixJ

Congrats to you as well Dels.

Trees39

Still here.
❤️

Mentium

Welcome to the new posters and congrats to those who have ticked off another day!

Day 15 here and I feel pretty good - I think. I have no desire to drink at all but I think it is time to get off my backside and do some other stuff to help me feel better. Was getting ready for bed last night at nine P.M. when my partner asked what I was doing. I thought it was an hour later - but I was ready! Anyway I stayed up and noodled around on the computer for a bit.

I am a member of a gym which I attended regularly a while back. It actually helped with the effects of drinking I found. Seemed to work off the worst of the crapness after an hour or so. We were both going and as it was going pretty well we bought ourselves an exercise bike so we could do it at home...which I for one ended up *not* doing! Doh..

Anyway I am going back to the gym as of tomorrow - three or four sessions a week is the plan!

Positive thoughts to one and all!

JackDsMissus

Phoenix J I've read your incredible journey and all you have had to overcome. Congrats on 1 year, you are a real inspiration! And, I agree with all you said. I found myself wondering what the answer is and even googled the prohibition to try and figure out how it might have been pulled off better. (I get these delusions of grandeur sometimes thinking maybe I'll be the genius that comes up with a solution hehe) . I mean aside from the badazz musical Bugsy Malone what came out of it? Why'd they give up at the first hurdle? Well, we know its all about that $£$ but come on something more needs to be done.

Day 26. Morning classmates. The end of the month draws near! SONW well done on overcoming your close call. Icecream tends to be the answer to these things. Mentium been there, done that, given away the exercise bike. Good luck on your new regime. I'm trying to at least run x 2 per week building up to everyweek day as well. Exercise is good for the soul.

Welcome all new joiners. Well done all with another sober day marked off the calendar. We can do this. We're doing this. We deserve this. We are worth this. We're the best!

Ok, Oprah moment over. Note to self: Post before the large Americano.