Dharma33

Hi, Overs!!!

Just a quick fly-by so I know where to find you.... we were out of town for a long weekend, and tons and tons on my plate this week! Sorry, I'm not caught up on the thread, but I will be around to catch up. So basically I'm all take today, no give!!

Treerat66

Good morning Overs.

I hope all our aches and pains are on the road to recovery.

Have a good day everyone.

Treerat66

Hello again,
Just been looking through the 'new posts' and there was one where people were saying how they had bought and drank their POC. For some reason this started me thinking of my Granddads.

Both of them had problems with alcohol. One was almost tea total, my folks don't know why. He was raised Methodist but his parents drank. My guess is he saw the effects alcohol had on people when he worked in a mine in Arizona and swore off it. He never tried to stop anyone drinking and he would drink toasts but he called alcohol 'water spoil'.

My other Granddad, also Methodist, drank like a fish. He was a typical English working class man, football, beer, canaries and poaching. He definitely didn't try to stop me drinking but did tell me to 'never drink alone'. I of course didn't follow his advise but did remember it and knew he would disapprove of my 'private benders' .

I don't blame anyone for my abuse of alcohol, I own that. May be a combination of 'Don't drink water spoil alone' saved me from going too deep?

Just another thought - my Grandmas were the other way around, tea total-er with drinking Grandma. Boozing Granddad with non-drinking Grandma. Weird.

Anyway enough naval gazing.

ttfn.

Saskia

Good morning, Overs!

Andy, interesting observations. I don't think there were any alcoholics in my family but due to circumstances only now beginning to be understood, my genetics are subtly different from the rest of my fam. My alcoholism apparently comes from a severe trauma history and pre-birth environmental issues that caused a number of anomalies.

I never saw anyone in my family and family circle who drank to excess. So it was all a surprise to me. I also couldn't blame my family for this one!

Not that the cause really matters but I find it helps me to understand a bit better.

FBL

Lots of boozing on my Dad's side of the family, not so much on my Mom's side. My Mom drank maybe twice a year, then it was one sloe gin fizz and she was done for the night. Dad on the other hand... When I was a kid, I used to be the bartender for the family card games. My Grandma could keep up with the best of them. They even let her have an occasional beer at the old folks home until she died at age 99. Not blaming my drinking on genetics, but it probably had something to do with my capacity for putting away mass quantities on a regular basis.

Have a Thunderous Thursday, overs!

Rusty Zipper

inpar, dee nailed the ham bit

my dads side of the family could belt down the booze for sure!

Treerat66

Nature or nurture as children we didn't have anything to say in matters. My parents considered that children should not consider alcoholic beverages as mysterious drinks that only adults should have. We occasionally had wine at meal times and children were not excluded. I think that worked, as a young adult I was largely a responsible drinker.

What my parents couldn't talk about, because they had no knowledge, were the milestones along the path into the pit. I was lucky three AA members were prepared to come to a youth group I attended and run a meeting there. I thank those men everyday. I didn't see the milestones going passed the first time. The second time I did.

I have talked to my children about addiction, it's effects good and bad. I believe we should educate our children about addiction. From computer games to heroin, addiction can mess up a life.

Heavy stuff.

Kris47

FBL's post made me remember a comment my GS said back way when. He said it proudly, too. Sad in reality. "My Granny can really knock down the beers better than anyone."He was about 10 at the time.
Although my family didn't drink, it was a very dysfunctional family. I arrived 9 1/2 years after the last sibling. My husbands side drank a lot.

We never really realise how things affect us as young children until we grow into often times sick adults.

Anyway, I'm thrilled to have just celebrated 3 years of recovery after trying til I was an old lady. lol. Life is so wonderful today. Life is not always grand but sobriety is.

Welcome back Suze.

Love to all mentioned and not!

Good day!

FBL

Kris, congrats on 3 years!!!

Gilmer

Yes, Kris! Congratulations!

Kris47

ODAAT. Thank you!

Mags1

Congratulations Kris on 3 years, brilliant!

Thank goodness we don't drink! I had some really dark times when I drank, well rid! My dad drank heavy, my uncle, on my mums side drank heavy, 1 bottle of rum a day then some, bless him, he's now passed away With cancer.

I had a thought as I was driving along of a wish. I wish I had talked to my dad as an adult, when I was a child, and told him he would lose us all if he didn't stop drinking. I wish the grown up me had spoke out instead of being terrified of this man who'd change into a demon when he was drunk. Such a nice man sober though. I read that so many times in family and friends.

The last time I saw my dad was a Monday, I was hung over, again!, too much to go into work, so was at home when he text that he'd bought some sandals for me. They called round and I told him my drinking had got out of control. He said just stop! As if it was that easy. (I thought)Tell yourself and just stop. Well I didn't unfortunately and he died most unexpectedly on the Friday. I did learn to love him in our older years. He was a good man except for the drink, but had learnt to control it down since with his new wife, my stepmother.

I'm so grateful I am sober, overs.x

Saskia

Congrats, Kris!

Mags, that's so sad.

Kris47

So grateful too, Mags.

We are the lucky ones.

FBL

I'm pretty certain I'd be dead by now if I hadn't stopped. Also, I never would've come across all you wonderful people

venuscat

Ditto. Big time.

And love to everyone. ♥

Dee74

(((mags)))

Congratulations Kris!

D

Kris47

Thanks Dee!

gleefan

Kris - Congrats on 3 years sober. I hope you have a GOOD day.

I have to shake my head at the irrational belief that I could somehow escape alcoholism in a family where everyone either completely abstains or drinks to excess.

I used to see it as a badge of honor that people couldn't believe that I was up and functioning the morning after partying. I'm not nostalgic for those days at all. I'm glad I've found a fulfilling way of life as a sober person.

The way I was raised, being a have-not among my peers, with people around me having nice things and good fortune, and me not, made me think I didn't deserve it. As a sober adult, I've worked hard to understand that I do in fact deserve nice things and to have good things happen to me, and that it's incumbent upon me to take action to make it happen. Also that when bad things happen it's not my fault.

I'm in awe of how the universe has conspired to teach me what's eluded me all these years through life's recent incidents and accidents - even my husband's knocked out teeth.

Have a good one!

venuscat

Wow glee, this is so beautiful.
And so very true for me as well.

Sorry about your husband's teeth though, I guess I missed that. ♥