Kimmy2002

Thoughts with you and your boyfriend Plenny. X

Jillwink

Sounds like some of our Nobender family are having some tough times. I send hugs and strength to you all.
I am still doing well.

Steely

Thanks Jillwink.

Times are tough and that's for sure, but for the very first time I WANT life on life's terms as I know it is the ONLY POSSIBLE way forward, and this gives me some strange peace.

Poppy79

I'm glad to report my AV has pi$$ed off for now.
Just had some coffee and cake with a mate so there is definitely truth to the sugar hit alleviating the cravings. Think I might need to go for another walk to burn some of it off lol.
What's everyone's plans for their Saturday night? I think I might give myself a pedi and face mask. Then hop into bed with my canine babies and a book

Steely

Testing cant seem to post.

Steely

Seems I can now

rainypnw

Poppy, that sounds like a good evening. Saturday morning here and I'm going to head out for a walk. We've finally had some sunny weather and I'm trying to soak in every second of it.

Kimmy, good to see you here.

Poppy79

Checking in at day 80. My mood has been a bit low lately.
Was up at midnight in a funk, probably because my hubby came to bed at that time and put on a DVD (Dracula) so I got up and went to the couch.
Didn't end up doing anything I had planned yesterday so today I am going to make a point of doing it all. I'm hoping that lifts me out of my low state.
Feeling quite MEH at the moment.

Steely

My walk and book read were about the best I could manage yesterday and had to reinstate the 2mg Valium as my thinking was becoming quite scary. Very scary.

I have never had these thoughts and feelings (ever) before, alcohol or nay. I won't go into gruesome detail but the intrusive thoughts, depersonalisation, suicidal ideation, depression, zombie head, and more, were enough for me to reinstate. I'm not kidding when I say it was very scary.

My plan needs to be tweaked in that I am going to continue with the 2mg and ditch taking any additional given to me by my friend. If I can manage on the 2mg and reduce using Prof. Ashton's recommendations I'll be doing myself a favour as truly, I had 'cutting' (eek) behaviour as part of my symptoms. Never had that before in my life and it can, according my readings, occur with too rapid a reduction.

It must have been WD (and not excluding RL), because following reinstatement the symptoms abated massively, and am now just left with the lingering remnants, and depression. At least I don't want to cut myself up. Sorry, tmi.

Oh my God that was horrible, and am going to follow the reduction regime to a tee, and that's my plan.

Take a tip, don't underestimate (I did) the potential of too rapid a reduction of Valium.

Oh yeah, 90 days

Poppy79

Glad to read you are in a better place than you were yesterday Steely. I think your plan to slowly taper off the V is a good one.
I can feel myself slowly slinking down hill and I know I haven't been using all of my sober tools the last couple of days.
It sort of annoys me that after 80 days of going strong I am now missing days here and there with exercise and art etc. it takes 21 days to start / break a habit, ummm no not correct. Takes longer than that I am finding.
On a positive note, I am forcing myself to get into gym gear and hit the pavement now. Will check back in later.
Chin up Steely I have read everyone has tough moments when adjusting to this new lifestyle, seems like you and I are in the thick of some tough moments right now but we will see it through without booze in belly xx

Dee74

Congrats on 90 days Steely

I'm glad you're going to follow the Ashton

D

Steely

Thanks Dee and Poppy, and glad you are hitting the pavement Poppy. I have soo come to understand the importance of diet and exercise.

Am just about to go on my walk to the park with book in hand. Yesterday I sat on the park bench reading, and look up towards the gum trees, it was really beautiful.

Feeling a bit deflated in that I felt a tiny hint from elsewhere that I was not *really* sober because I was having this problem with benzo's. Only a hint, but it was there, for sure.

Oh, well so long as I'm heading in the right direction and having positive sober (in the real sense) thoughts and actions, I'm good.

And did you say "Dracula" at midnight Poppy?

Hope everyone is travelling well.

To the park.

Ladyshipwreck

I'm not going to have any but I've thought about wine a lot today.

But like the old man at that AA meeting I went to said "I can always get s+*% faced tomorrow, I just gotta get through today."

Day 69 and feelin fine

PhoenixJ

Prayers to all.

Steely

What the old man said was true Lady. Only got to get through the day. It will pass Lady, it always does. Man, this beast is a beast. Good you're being proactive and getting to meetings.

Steely

How you doing Phoenix?

Kimmy2002

Hi everybody. So many clocking up those days. Congratulations. X
Steely, you are truly amazing. Look at what you have achieved. 90 days is wonderful. Be proud of yourself and I think it's been a while since I sent you a hug so here's a big hug just for you.

Kimmy2002

Steely, was just thinking of PJ too. Your in my thoughts PJ. X

PhoenixJ

Hello nice people. Hoping all is good with the world. Prayers to all.

Steely

Awww Kimmy that was beautiful, and just what I needed, fair dinkum.

Just checkin' Phoenix