Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 6
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I understand Telstra rage Poppy - 
writing to then directly and publicly on their FB page can often get results.
I'm glad you stayed strong tho.
I hope things get sorted more quickly than late Feb.
D
writing to then directly and publicly on their FB page can often get results.
I'm glad you stayed strong tho.
I hope things get sorted more quickly than late Feb.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,096
Abriella- thinking of you and your family and giving you all the love and positive thoughts.
Plenny and Kimmy I always feel this is a marathon, when the runners fall down they dont start over, they get up and continue forward. And if your lucky enough to be with a group of runners like us Nobenders we all grab a arm, help you up and keep ploddin along with the rest.
LadyshipWreck!! super news!! staying sober through the whole thing is an added bonus, congrats!
Rainy- also congrats on the new home! I can only sympathize with the packing, hope it goes well for you and the weather co operates!
Steely, Solly and everyone else, keep on keepin on!
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Plenny and Kimmy I always feel this is a marathon, when the runners fall down they dont start over, they get up and continue forward. And if your lucky enough to be with a group of runners like us Nobenders we all grab a arm, help you up and keep ploddin along with the rest.
LadyshipWreck!! super news!! staying sober through the whole thing is an added bonus, congrats!
Rainy- also congrats on the new home! I can only sympathize with the packing, hope it goes well for you and the weather co operates!
Steely, Solly and everyone else, keep on keepin on!
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 275
Poppy, I totally understand the frustration feeling right now. We all know that drinking sounds good, but it never helps in frustrating situations. It just makes everything worse. Motivation is hard to get back. But, I know for me, give it a day or two and my perspective changes.
We were put in backup position on the house (there were 20 offers in 3 days). So, it looks like there is a glimmer of hope. But we will keep looking.
Hope you all are having a good start to the week!
We were put in backup position on the house (there were 20 offers in 3 days). So, it looks like there is a glimmer of hope. But we will keep looking.
Hope you all are having a good start to the week!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,505
85 Days today with no cravings whatsoever, it's the psychological stuff that's the problem.
My motivation is just about zip too Poppy, and am trying to do little bits at a time without self castigating because I don't get everything done at once.
We are a good Class, and I think all of us know that drinking is not going to make our lives work. No way round it but through it.
......it can only get better.
My motivation is just about zip too Poppy, and am trying to do little bits at a time without self castigating because I don't get everything done at once.
We are a good Class, and I think all of us know that drinking is not going to make our lives work. No way round it but through it.
......it can only get better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
It would appear my motivation has returned. Yay!
Thanks Dee, I might unload on Telstra's FB page and see what comes of that. I'm also half way through a TIO complaint so fingers crossed bringing the ombudsmen in will make them move quicker.
75 days and all is going well. I haven't felt the need to take an antabuse since last week so I feel my mental compunction is getting stronger by the day.
I hope everyone is going great guns this warm and sunny Tuesday
Thanks Dee, I might unload on Telstra's FB page and see what comes of that. I'm also half way through a TIO complaint so fingers crossed bringing the ombudsmen in will make them move quicker.
75 days and all is going well. I haven't felt the need to take an antabuse since last week so I feel my mental compunction is getting stronger by the day.
I hope everyone is going great guns this warm and sunny Tuesday
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,733
Hi all, thank you so much for the supportive words.
First of all, I'll answer Poppy's question: I really catch myself off guard sometimes. When I am feeling confident about my sobriety and like I can go on 'autopilot' I tend to defect. I struggle with mindfulness and staying present. I also struggle with some ADD issues. But most of all, it's a rebellious tendency that drowns out ALL caution.
As for my relationship, we are trying to again, be mindful and go on our own journeys. We realized that we shared a really mischievous sentiment at the same time and we went on that journey together. I am happy to say that neither one of us did drugs or hurt themselves and we did not fight. But we did experience a toxic part of our friendship. It's something I've battled in friendships and relationships my whole life. The Ride Or Die sentiment. We are trying to balance and accept.
I am here, he is moderately drinking. For how long, I do not know. I know he is not moderate, so I worry. But I can't dictate his process. Unfortunately. I fear I'll lose him. For now, we have remained extremely close. Thankfully we do not live together though
Love to you all. I've planned a studio day tomorrow so I am sure I'll be in touch plenty throughout the day
First of all, I'll answer Poppy's question: I really catch myself off guard sometimes. When I am feeling confident about my sobriety and like I can go on 'autopilot' I tend to defect. I struggle with mindfulness and staying present. I also struggle with some ADD issues. But most of all, it's a rebellious tendency that drowns out ALL caution.
As for my relationship, we are trying to again, be mindful and go on our own journeys. We realized that we shared a really mischievous sentiment at the same time and we went on that journey together. I am happy to say that neither one of us did drugs or hurt themselves and we did not fight. But we did experience a toxic part of our friendship. It's something I've battled in friendships and relationships my whole life. The Ride Or Die sentiment. We are trying to balance and accept.
I am here, he is moderately drinking. For how long, I do not know. I know he is not moderate, so I worry. But I can't dictate his process. Unfortunately. I fear I'll lose him. For now, we have remained extremely close. Thankfully we do not live together though
Love to you all. I've planned a studio day tomorrow so I am sure I'll be in touch plenty throughout the day
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Welp i screwed up. Make it to nearly 2 solid months n let a weak moment get the best of me. What I learned was that I cant allow other peoples ideas of what my life is supposed to be like make me 2nd guess myself.
I was in a therapy session Friday and told her i wasnt hanging with my friends because we drink together and its all still relatively new but that i was dating here and there. She gave me a look like i had it wrong n i should be seeing my friends not dating. Im not blaming her for my relapse it was probably coming already but i did find it easier to meet new ppl as my sober self then hang with friends and remain sober.
All in all i drank a bit Friday then a lot Saturday and wound up doing coke with a group of strangers.
My tail is in between my legs but if im honest with myself i was doing really good for the past almost 2 months and i can draw upon that strength and determination again.
How to prevent a future relapse im really not sure but i really really like the lady mom daughter sister and friend i have been over the last 2 months.
My new sober date is 1/23/2017. Thanks for listening.
I was in a therapy session Friday and told her i wasnt hanging with my friends because we drink together and its all still relatively new but that i was dating here and there. She gave me a look like i had it wrong n i should be seeing my friends not dating. Im not blaming her for my relapse it was probably coming already but i did find it easier to meet new ppl as my sober self then hang with friends and remain sober.
All in all i drank a bit Friday then a lot Saturday and wound up doing coke with a group of strangers.
My tail is in between my legs but if im honest with myself i was doing really good for the past almost 2 months and i can draw upon that strength and determination again.
How to prevent a future relapse im really not sure but i really really like the lady mom daughter sister and friend i have been over the last 2 months.
My new sober date is 1/23/2017. Thanks for listening.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I think it's really important not to let other people's talk or any kind of discomfort or conflict sway you from what you know is the right thing to do LLG...
and it's even more important that you don't let any upset like that lead you to drinking.
Drinkings not a solution.
If it's the only tool in your toolbox you need more tools...if you have other tools already, you need to use them
D
and it's even more important that you don't let any upset like that lead you to drinking.
Drinkings not a solution.
If it's the only tool in your toolbox you need more tools...if you have other tools already, you need to use them
D
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think it's really important not to let other people's talk or any kind of discomfort or conflict sway you from what you know is the right thing to do LLG...
and it's even more important that you don't let any upset like that lead you to drinking.
Drinkings not a solution.
If it's the only tool in your toolbox you need more tools...if you have other tools already, you need to use them
D
and it's even more important that you don't let any upset like that lead you to drinking.
Drinkings not a solution.
If it's the only tool in your toolbox you need more tools...if you have other tools already, you need to use them
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 275
Glad to see you back here LLG. I just listened to a sober podcast a few days ago when I was having a really hard time with the AV. It was about the best thing to do to stay sober long term. The number one piece of advice was, "Don't stray from your sober tools." That hit home for me. Every time I stray for a few days from SR or other sober supports, the AV comes on strong. Use your sober tools!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Originally Posted by rainypnw
Glad to see you back here LLG. I just listened to a sober podcast a few days ago when I was having a really hard time with the AV. It was about the best thing to do to stay sober long term. The number one piece of advice was, "Don't stray from your sober tools." That hit home for me. Every time I stray for a few days from SR or other sober supports, the AV comes on strong. Use your sober tools!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Some of my sober tools are walking/exercise, painting, reading, coming onto SR and responding to peeps (like I am doing now ), medication (I have Valium to take sporadically as and when I feel too anxious, I also have antabuse which I took daily for the first couple of months as it takes the decision out of my hands to drink - I find I don't need it at the moment but it's there to start taking again if I feel my resolve slipping), therapy about twice a month, eBay lol - it's amazing how time flies by when searching for a bargain online. What works for some might not work for others though but my tool box is pretty full and at 77 days sober I couldn't have gone this long without the above. Before I stopped I couldn't go 1 day. I should also mention I went into rehab for 3 weeks to kick start my clean journey. Best decision I ever made.
Hope this helps Hun
), medication (I have Valium to take sporadically as and when I feel too anxious, I also have antabuse which I took daily for the first couple of months as it takes the decision out of my hands to drink - I find I don't need it at the moment but it's there to start taking again if I feel my resolve slipping), therapy about twice a month, eBay lol - it's amazing how time flies by when searching for a bargain online. What works for some might not work for others though but my tool box is pretty full and at 77 days sober I couldn't have gone this long without the above. Before I stopped I couldn't go 1 day. I should also mention I went into rehab for 3 weeks to kick start my clean journey. Best decision I ever made.Hope this helps Hun
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,505
I am so incredibly anxious and think maybe not having taken any Valium for the past week might be part reason. Only on a small dose, but with Valium, who knows?
Saw my mother in nursing home yesterday and it looks like she may have had a mini stroke. Her left arm is limp and she can't pick up her cutlery or her tea cup. The doctor is visiting today. Why do they leave old people (she's 93 in March) at the bottom of the list? She was crying and confused.
At the same time had to attend a Tribunal Hearing for my mentally ill brother who is completely delusional. He is ringing me constantly demanding keys to our old house believing that he owns it, when in fact it is owned by the Department of Housing. There are no keys, they have been relinquished to the Department. It is all too much, and just want to run away to Kathmandu. I know I will not drink.
He is totally thought disordered and is accusing me of lying to him out of some paranoid conspiracy by myself (particularly) and family. I'm not coping very well.
Can't seem to get anything done and sit in torpor unwashed and not eating. I am so tired of it all. NOT the not drinking, just tired of my head. I'm crying all of the time. Money too tight to mention. Fully sucks and spilled the ashtray, don't even care.
Won't rave any longer just wanted to check in at 87 days and say hi to Plenny and LiveLikeGold. We/I can do this.
Exercise and diet seem a good move Poppy. I think my tools came from China lol.
Saw my mother in nursing home yesterday and it looks like she may have had a mini stroke. Her left arm is limp and she can't pick up her cutlery or her tea cup. The doctor is visiting today. Why do they leave old people (she's 93 in March) at the bottom of the list? She was crying and confused.
At the same time had to attend a Tribunal Hearing for my mentally ill brother who is completely delusional. He is ringing me constantly demanding keys to our old house believing that he owns it, when in fact it is owned by the Department of Housing. There are no keys, they have been relinquished to the Department. It is all too much, and just want to run away to Kathmandu. I know I will not drink.
He is totally thought disordered and is accusing me of lying to him out of some paranoid conspiracy by myself (particularly) and family. I'm not coping very well.
Can't seem to get anything done and sit in torpor unwashed and not eating. I am so tired of it all. NOT the not drinking, just tired of my head. I'm crying all of the time. Money too tight to mention. Fully sucks and spilled the ashtray, don't even care.
Won't rave any longer just wanted to check in at 87 days and say hi to Plenny and LiveLikeGold. We/I can do this.
Exercise and diet seem a good move Poppy. I think my tools came from China lol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Awww Steely, I wish you weren't feeling so down and out 
it certainly sounds like you are going through some really heavy gauge stuff and I wanted to let you know I have the utmost admiration for you given you are not drinking through it.
So sorry to hear about your mum, i hope she gets better care, are you able to bring a complaint to a supervisors attention?
I remember when my nanna was in a nursing home and one of the nurses would get so impatient with her because she couldn't swallow easily (she had Parkinson's). When I found out I approached the nurse directly and told her in no uncertain terms to immediately change her work ethics or get out of the profession. I then went to her boss and $hit got sorted straight away! Could that be an option for you?
it certainly sounds like you are going through some really heavy gauge stuff and I wanted to let you know I have the utmost admiration for you given you are not drinking through it. So sorry to hear about your mum, i hope she gets better care, are you able to bring a complaint to a supervisors attention?
I remember when my nanna was in a nursing home and one of the nurses would get so impatient with her because she couldn't swallow easily (she had Parkinson's). When I found out I approached the nurse directly and told her in no uncertain terms to immediately change her work ethics or get out of the profession. I then went to her boss and $hit got sorted straight away! Could that be an option for you?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 275
LLG, the way I see it, sober tools are anything that help you stay sober. SR (this forum) is a sober tool for me along with exercise, healthy eating, sober podcasts, books about sobriety, etc.
Steely, you're dealing with so much right now. Just want you to know that we are all here for you. Giving you a big virtual hug right now.
Steely, you're dealing with so much right now. Just want you to know that we are all here for you. Giving you a big virtual hug right now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,505
Thank you Poppy. If I were to drink it would be the end, at least I have learned that much out of my ridiculous escape laden career with the grog, and a heavy sledge to realise exactly what I have done with my life.
I rang the local pool and am trying to get it together to go do a few laps twice a week. It is a 1.5k walk to the pool so that should help too. Start next week when I get some money. Buy some fish too. Oh, man, bread and the fishes.
I don't know, I'm reluctant to take anti depressants (have in the past) but this is getting a bit scary. I'm not going to hurt myself or anything just feel totally incompetent and wrecked.
I feel like such a dork because I am not strong and capable and adult, and all the stuff I'm supposed to be, given that I've got half a brain. I feel foolish.
I think this holds me back because I don't talk about it.
I don't expect you to have the answers for me Poppy just lovely of you to reply and wanted to try and express it like it is...heard that that's supposed to be important.
Staff at the nursing home reckon Mum didn't say anything about her arm, whereas she says she did. It hard to tell because she is so confused now. Doctor is coming but don't think she has much time left. She lingers, and sometimes I think it would be better for her to go.
Thanks Poppy. I gotta turn this all around.
I rang the local pool and am trying to get it together to go do a few laps twice a week. It is a 1.5k walk to the pool so that should help too. Start next week when I get some money. Buy some fish too. Oh, man, bread and the fishes.
I don't know, I'm reluctant to take anti depressants (have in the past) but this is getting a bit scary. I'm not going to hurt myself or anything just feel totally incompetent and wrecked.
I feel like such a dork because I am not strong and capable and adult, and all the stuff I'm supposed to be, given that I've got half a brain. I feel foolish.
I think this holds me back because I don't talk about it.
I don't expect you to have the answers for me Poppy just lovely of you to reply and wanted to try and express it like it is...heard that that's supposed to be important.
Staff at the nursing home reckon Mum didn't say anything about her arm, whereas she says she did. It hard to tell because she is so confused now. Doctor is coming but don't think she has much time left. She lingers, and sometimes I think it would be better for her to go.
Thanks Poppy. I gotta turn this all around.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
And you will turn it around you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. But that's pretty typical for peeps like us. I know I am my own worst enemy, especially when I think about the years i wasted being wasted all the while knowing I'm an intelligent woman who is also logical.
Cry some more if you need, it's quite cathartic I find xoxo
you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. But that's pretty typical for peeps like us. I know I am my own worst enemy, especially when I think about the years i wasted being wasted all the while knowing I'm an intelligent woman who is also logical. Cry some more if you need, it's quite cathartic I find xoxo
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