clearlyheaded

Winding down day 25. Also feeling very blessed to have you all in my life. This class is a treasure. Night Marchers!

PhoenixJ

Guru- yes I would like that tea. Good, actually very,very good about the plonk shop. Behavioural change comes with awareness.
LB, Pels and Purp and 13 and B and PR and eveyr obdy- I hope you are all at peace with life.
Well finishged MP. Done for better.. Did you all know 'finishged ' is a real word? Well it is not.
Also jim. Asked instructor to raise the bar. Started doing above arm raise weights. My burnt arm with tri's- limited strength and very disproportionate position. So also did stretches- just like the ones I did in the burns unit. Immediately came pain- real intense pain. Then flashbacks associated with the last time I felt that particular intensity of pain- no prizes for guessing. Not just a flashback, in that second I relived the entire 3 month experience. I nearly started getting tears run down face. So I pushed through- more out of rage- that I would NOT let this disable me (any more than it has). I do not feel any better (yet) and suspect tomorrow I will be doing the robot.
All of you- Addiction sucks- don't drink- or you too will have these wonderful sorts of memories if you are especially talented at it.

Dee74

Best wishes and hugs to all those struggling or with sick bubs.
Lets all agree to make the upcoming weekend a sober one

D

Bobbieka

Hugs, PHX.

ManInTheArena

To all who are doing well and hitting milestones -- congrats!

To those working on getting back on track - keep working!

The recent posts from PJ, PR, Purp, etc. make me realize why I love this class. It is so real !! Not Real Housewives real - haha, but "sit me down and talk to me" real.

See you all in the AM.

Thirteenth

Question: Is it normal to fear sobriety because the potential for relapse exists and you might fall lower? I know that it is, but I guess I'm seeking reassurance?

There are so many fears in embracing sobriety and I'm trying to get through them. The time to fill is another huge issue. There are tons of things to do and a thread dedicated to it - I'm leaning towards volunteering.

Still, the fear of failing has left me paralyzed more times than I can count. It's almost as if it's better to feel awful than feel good for a while and potentially fail - even though that's a future that surely hasn't happened. The psychological shell game is a bugger to work through. Work through it is the plan.

Dee74

I feared not stopping drinking...and I feared stopping drinking.

That's a pretty tough double bind to be in.

I still say - trust those of us who've made the leap.

It's not easy, not initially, but I think it is easier than trying to drink...

You'll be ok sober, man.

D

samantha14

Morning! Just finished a cuppa startin' fluid and will be off to work soon. Trying to head in a little later than normal to avoid the Champagne Breakfast that is going on....what even if that...lol. But no matter because I will not drink today.

Woke up to no probability of sun (again) and snow on the ground...yay ��

Echoing a few people from last night I just want to say how lucky I am to be a part of this class. Love you guys! ❤❤

samantha14

Morning BBG and AK!!

beerbgone

Good morning Marchers. Beginning day 4 (?) with a cuppa' startin' fluid.

Sam I read your story from last night. Great job!!!

But do you know what came to my mind right away? Relapse beginning!

I'm relapse focused right now and I know relapse begins some time before the first drink.

I hope that's not your case. Like I said I'm relapse focused!!! LOL

beerbgone

Mornin' Sam.

samantha14

Morning Pelagic!

BBG - I'm worried about the same thing if I'm being honest. It felt like a win but was I really just testing my limits?? Going to stay really focused for the next few days on staying sober...I don't think the liquor store is somewhere I should be or ever want to be comfortable. Also congrats on day four!! Woot!!

samantha14

Thinking of you PJ. Sending thoughts and love.

Addiction does suck....

Bobbieka

Good morning!
I would like to skip work today, but crap, it's not going to happen.

Time to get up and get my startin' fluid. Gotta catch up with you, BBG!

Pelagic263

We saw "Moonlight" last night, nominated for Best Picture. I can highly recommend it (it is intense though). Kind of an inner-city, African-American version of "Boyhood," which is another great movie. I still need to see "Manchester by the Sea." Loved "Fences," too, but I taught the play many times. Some critics have complained about the movie version , not realizing it follows the play very closely. It's a movie version of a play, just like Dustin Hoffman in "Death of a Salesman." Why they don't get it? I don't know. Denzel Washington and Viola Davis are both incredible. Some truly excellent movies in contention this year.

Turns out it was like 100 miles ROUNDTRIP, so much less roadtime. Wife and I talked about my alcoholism, etc. Had a lovely meal. I am truly blessed to have her.

Sam, wow, just wow! Pretty sure I never succeeded at what you accomplished. Be careful, always, but what a great sign of recovery!

PR, "Werewolves of London" is just about my favorite Warren Zevon song. Missed the movie though. Guess what? Zevon had alcohol problems too. Check out his song, "Detox Mansion." Good stuff.

Thirteenth, don't worry about the big stuff. Just stay sober one more day. Focus on one more day. It'll come.

Bobbie, thanks for the compliment but I think "emotional intelligence" (Daniel Goleman) is probably way more important than any other kind. And I've got some work to do in that department.

Time to pay some bills. Have great day everyone.

PhoenixJ

Hi all. Thankyou Samguru. Feeling the full weight of those 3 months at the moment. With it comes 1000 other thoughts. Watching 'Kingdom of Heaven'. One of my fav's. Might as well divert thought while pushing the crap back sown the brain.

Bobbieka

At the office. Sooooo glad it is Friday. Seemed like a long week.

Hope everyone has a great and sober day/evening.

clearlyheaded

Pelagic - I want to see all of those movies. Will probably take DD to see A Dog's Purpose this weekend instead. Did I mention that it's so great to see you posting? Every one of us brings something pretty great to this class. You have been missed.

BBG - congrats on day 4. Keep it going!

Bobbie - This really has seemed like a long week. So glad it is Friday!

PJ - You have so much strength. Continuously pushing yourself emotionally and physically. Can't wait to see your latest MP. Hopefully you can get a picture.

Thirteenth - the pralysis of being in active addiction is awful. I hope you can find that leap of faith that gets a lot of us on the path we need to be.

Sam - glad you walked out without any urge to buy/drink. Don't tempt your AV too much, though. Just when we think "we've got this" we lose sight of the power of addiction. Proud of you!

Applekat

I really want to see Manchester by the Sea. I've only seen La la Land out of the best picture noms. I don't get to the movies much! Hubs and I sometimes buy them on iTunes to try to stay awake and watch. Haha. When our kids are grown and gone (or living in our basement lol) I really want to go to the movie theater once a week. I wonder if we would get a senior citizen discount by then bc movies are expensive these days. Sigh.

Happy Friday everyone!

PhoenixJ

A dog's purpose/ To get ridiculously excited about everything. Other dogs, poo, slobber, saucepans, more poo and couches. They do not listen, smell, are hairy, require 190,000% attention all of the time. They also give love unconditionally and behave much better than humans. They also like poo.