clearlyheaded

BBG - Glad you jumped off. That can be hard. Keep close and check in when you feel the pull of the merry go round. You've got support here

Making tacos per DD's request and then watching This is Us. That's it for my night, lol!

samantha14

There is so much possibility in a day one BBG...so proud of you!! And I agree with CH - post here when you need it...heck post here when you don't need it... There are days when I post a few times in a row and I wonder if I am being annoying to everyone....but then I weigh out being annoying against being sober....and sorry guys!!!

CH - Tacos sound a lot better then chicken and broccoli... Also you all keep talking about that show...why isn't it here yet??

beerbgone

Just finished up a bowl of chili. It's "Big Bang Theory" time. Gonna' lay down and enjoy! Nite folks.

Thank you all bunches!!!

clearlyheaded

Sam - ditto. I have to get in the habit of posting even if I don't have anything to say other than a replay of part of my day. It keeps me connected here, and that is key. When I start drifting from this class, the pull of AV gets stronger. Seriously, you guys are the key in me having 22(?) days!! I love you guys!!

beerbgone

Same with me CH!!!

samantha14

I agree CH - the sound of all your voices are louder and more powerful than my AV's could ever be...connection is key

Night folks...thank for being here...love you all

beerbgone

Night Sam.

Purplrks3647

Same here! Even though it's only been 2+ weeks since I last drank, I can remember when I would struggle to get past 2 days! Being here with you guys makes all the difference

Bobbieka

We do it together.

Ladybug2

Hi everyone, hand up here for still struggling. Hate this. I am still fighting and thinking of all of you.

Dee74

What's going on LB?

D

PhoenixJ

LB- share stuff- might help. PJ

Thirteenth

You aren't alone on that one, LB.

Personally, I've gone away a bit which isn't helping. I'm still reading but low on posting. Sometimes I think it's that I don't want to be talked out of drinking. Other times I certainly don't want to admit that I'm drinking (oh, and that at work drinking thing, I haven't gotten away from it, for shame, even if it's after hours it's not OK).

I don't know how anyone else has felt when they've struggled but I'd guess it's a common theme to not post. Hell, I know it is, I've read hundreds of threads. I must also admit that I feel envious of those who have obtained sobriety, even if it's just a few days, I still have a hard time with that. That leads to beating myself up when I care enough about obtaining and maintaining sobriety. It's a vicious cycle as you all well know.

All this to say, I'm here, but still not getting or staying sober, but, ad nauseam, not giving up.

Glad you're back on the wagon, bbg. I could learn from you but I clearly don't learn quickly.

To all, thank you for being here.

Ladybug2

Hi Dee. Went to a psychologist last week for the first time and felt so good and positive .... then found out this person wasn't "in network" so it will be a $6500 deductible before any coverage will be met. This person knows my family history (my mom went to him after my parents' ugly divorce). So I am just feeling a bit defeated.

Ladybug2

Hi all, this is so, so hard. Love you all, thanks for the support.

Ladybug2

Thanks, PJ

Thirteenth

You inspired me to post, LB. Even though the post was all about me (and I hate my self-centered posts), it was you that helped me to come back to the help of this group. Your courage to admit the difficulty reminded me I could have some of my own. For that, I thank you. If we work with the group on our respective recoveries we can make it. No doubt.

clearlyheaded

Big hugs to you, LB. I'm sorry the therapist you found and like comes with such a hearty deductible. Can you see if there is a sliding scale or something that could help mediate the cost?

Thirteenth - thinking of you too, friend.

Thirteenth

Unrelated, or related, to my continued descent, I realized today that I'm so used to being depressed that I often don't even realize I'm depressed. Does that make sense to anyone but me? The drink makes it worse of course. Haven't been to the therapy yet but I do promise that I will book an appointment for the belated grief counseling.

clearlyheaded

Thirteenth - That is actually not that uncommon. That's one reason why support is so important. It's easy to slip deeper into depression without even realizing it -- speaking from experience. An honest conversation with a therapist is probably a good start. A tough step. But it just might be worth your effort.