Class of April 2015 Part 12
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Sorry about the wasted medical day Inc. Hopefully, the urologist will be better able to provide more exacting info. Bummer about your therapist too. It is always a bit of a hassle having to start at the total beginning of your life's story with a new one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey, Inc. Time to stay in the present and cross the bridges as and when they come. I'm rooting for you, man!
Recently saw this Ted Talk on addiction. It is pretty interesting. It's about how it is human nature to bond, and when you stop binding with people, for whatever reason, then you can start to bond with drugs. It's as if addiction were about disassociation. I connect with that idea. For example, 20% of US soldiers in Vietnam were actively using heroine, but after the war very few of them went on to be addicts. That is because they were able to rekindle other attachments. I often feel out of step with those around me and have a tendency to cut myself off. I used to drink alone and would wish to be far out at sea and away from the world. It kind of adds up for me Well... It's better explained in the film...
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_ad diction_is_wrong
Recently saw this Ted Talk on addiction. It is pretty interesting. It's about how it is human nature to bond, and when you stop binding with people, for whatever reason, then you can start to bond with drugs. It's as if addiction were about disassociation. I connect with that idea. For example, 20% of US soldiers in Vietnam were actively using heroine, but after the war very few of them went on to be addicts. That is because they were able to rekindle other attachments. I often feel out of step with those around me and have a tendency to cut myself off. I used to drink alone and would wish to be far out at sea and away from the world. It kind of adds up for me Well... It's better explained in the film...
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_ad diction_is_wrong
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Thanks Amp. Sounds about right to me.
Lately, I've been looking closely at the relationship between loneliness, depression, and addiction. They are all tied together. If I can improve one of the three, I would improve all.
I've always been a loner. I've always been depressed. Growing up, I had few friends. Now I don't have any beyond the bond I have with you guys.
I want to fix that, but not exactly sure how. I do have some ideas that involve church and attending AA or SMART.
The problem is, I need to step outside my comfort zone. I'm gonna work on that. See if I can Psych myself up to enter the scary zone.
I'll talk to my fiance about it. I wish we had friends. She's good for following through on things. Better than me for sure. I'll see if she has any ideas.
When I think about making friends, it always seems to boil down to helping others with addiction. Often times, I feel as though that's my calling.
God made me have an interest in psychology even at an early age. God gave me very good listening skills. I can empathize. I'm pretty good at getting others to see different points of views. I am always reading about addiction and depression and find it all to be very interesting.
Lately, I've been looking closely at the relationship between loneliness, depression, and addiction. They are all tied together. If I can improve one of the three, I would improve all.
I've always been a loner. I've always been depressed. Growing up, I had few friends. Now I don't have any beyond the bond I have with you guys.
I want to fix that, but not exactly sure how. I do have some ideas that involve church and attending AA or SMART.
The problem is, I need to step outside my comfort zone. I'm gonna work on that. See if I can Psych myself up to enter the scary zone.
I'll talk to my fiance about it. I wish we had friends. She's good for following through on things. Better than me for sure. I'll see if she has any ideas.
When I think about making friends, it always seems to boil down to helping others with addiction. Often times, I feel as though that's my calling.
God made me have an interest in psychology even at an early age. God gave me very good listening skills. I can empathize. I'm pretty good at getting others to see different points of views. I am always reading about addiction and depression and find it all to be very interesting.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Funny Inc, your description could have been my bio. Friendly with lots of people, especially when drinking, but not really any close friends. Pretty much lived my life looking at the glass as always half full, and so on. Outside of work and here, I don't interact with people much. It's no wonder we turned to drinking to fit in.
Perhaps you and others of us will find a calling as an addiction counselor later in life? One day at a time on our journeys.
It is supposedly going to hit 60 degrees F today (15.5C) then drop like crazy and snow up to a foot by noon tomorrow. Crazy weather. I guess I will work in the yard a bit and get ready to shovel snow tomorrow.
Have a great day all!
Perhaps you and others of us will find a calling as an addiction counselor later in life? One day at a time on our journeys.
It is supposedly going to hit 60 degrees F today (15.5C) then drop like crazy and snow up to a foot by noon tomorrow. Crazy weather. I guess I will work in the yard a bit and get ready to shovel snow tomorrow.
Have a great day all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I found a SMART meeting nearby at 730pm. I'm going to force myself to go.
So... It seems as though the company I work for is not going to survive. When I joined them, I knew they were in trouble. Looking from the outside, it appeared as though they were making the right moves to pull out of their troubles.
Since I've been on the inside, I see nothing but stupidity and failed attempts at change. When I started, their stock was $3, now it's below 50cents.
One stupid move after another. I still have a glimmer of hope. If they follow through correctly with the plans they have communicated, I see a chance of it working. But these guys can't seem to do much right. My gut is telling me they will continue to screw up. My heart is telling me there's still a chance.
I should be applying to jobs just to see what would bubble up, but I can't seem to get myself motivated.
On that note, I'm finding I'm letting issues like up again. I almost feel like where I was last year at this time.
I have an unresolved debt issue I'm not dealing with, I am stressed over complicated taxes, I should be applying to jobs. Feels like last year, but not as severe.
Today, I'm going to work on the debt issue. I've already taken a small step by emailing my bankruptcy lawyer about it. Unfortunately, his reply wasn't very helpful.
After talking to my fiance about it, she suggested that I do everything through the lawyer. Even though there will be fees involved. I was glad to hear that, because that's what I wanted to do. First, because I'd rather pass the buck. Second because any letters or calls to this debt collector would be more meaningful coming from a lawyer.
So there we go. Just throwing it out there as a way to hold myself accountable. My plan for today is debt resolution and going to a SMART meeting.
There's no doubt I'll feel better afterwards. Normally it just takes a little push to get things going. If I follow through with my plan, I anticipate resolving the other issues that are beginning to cause stress.
So... It seems as though the company I work for is not going to survive. When I joined them, I knew they were in trouble. Looking from the outside, it appeared as though they were making the right moves to pull out of their troubles.
Since I've been on the inside, I see nothing but stupidity and failed attempts at change. When I started, their stock was $3, now it's below 50cents.
One stupid move after another. I still have a glimmer of hope. If they follow through correctly with the plans they have communicated, I see a chance of it working. But these guys can't seem to do much right. My gut is telling me they will continue to screw up. My heart is telling me there's still a chance.
I should be applying to jobs just to see what would bubble up, but I can't seem to get myself motivated.
On that note, I'm finding I'm letting issues like up again. I almost feel like where I was last year at this time.
I have an unresolved debt issue I'm not dealing with, I am stressed over complicated taxes, I should be applying to jobs. Feels like last year, but not as severe.
Today, I'm going to work on the debt issue. I've already taken a small step by emailing my bankruptcy lawyer about it. Unfortunately, his reply wasn't very helpful.
After talking to my fiance about it, she suggested that I do everything through the lawyer. Even though there will be fees involved. I was glad to hear that, because that's what I wanted to do. First, because I'd rather pass the buck. Second because any letters or calls to this debt collector would be more meaningful coming from a lawyer.
So there we go. Just throwing it out there as a way to hold myself accountable. My plan for today is debt resolution and going to a SMART meeting.
There's no doubt I'll feel better afterwards. Normally it just takes a little push to get things going. If I follow through with my plan, I anticipate resolving the other issues that are beginning to cause stress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Crossing my fingers for you Inc. Sorry you have other stuff going on too, but it sounds like your fiancée is a good person to bounce stuff off.
I think you would all make great counselors. I'd hire you.
Please keep us posted Inc.
Best wishes
OMD
I think you would all make great counselors. I'd hire you.
Please keep us posted Inc.
Best wishes
OMD
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Well... Ended up scheduling a call with my lawyer. I'm just going to let him deal with the debt issue.
I'm still planning on going the the SMART mtg. In fact, I told my fiance for even more accountability. She works late tonight, so I'll be home alone anyway.
I also expressed my goal of putting myself in a position to meet people, and that I think it would be nice for us to that together.
She agreed. As we talked about options, she even said that she didn't want it revolving around bars. Maybe dinner out. Mostly we're thinking of inviting people over. I like that idea. I suggested we start with our neighbors. I live in a townhouse kind of an apartment building with a neighbor on either side of me.
One side is a single lady. The other is a family of 4 with Mom that lives with them. I think it would be a great idea to all get together. If it was summer time, that would be a no brainer opportunity for a BBQ. I don't want to wait that long though.
My challange is to put myself in a social situation at least once a month. She liked the idea. Will be challenging with our schedule, but not impossible.
I strongly believe as long as I'm putting effort into improving myself in some way, I'll be happier. One thing for sure... When I stop doing that, bad things happen.
I'm still planning on going the the SMART mtg. In fact, I told my fiance for even more accountability. She works late tonight, so I'll be home alone anyway.
I also expressed my goal of putting myself in a position to meet people, and that I think it would be nice for us to that together.
She agreed. As we talked about options, she even said that she didn't want it revolving around bars. Maybe dinner out. Mostly we're thinking of inviting people over. I like that idea. I suggested we start with our neighbors. I live in a townhouse kind of an apartment building with a neighbor on either side of me.
One side is a single lady. The other is a family of 4 with Mom that lives with them. I think it would be a great idea to all get together. If it was summer time, that would be a no brainer opportunity for a BBQ. I don't want to wait that long though.
My challange is to put myself in a social situation at least once a month. She liked the idea. Will be challenging with our schedule, but not impossible.
I strongly believe as long as I'm putting effort into improving myself in some way, I'll be happier. One thing for sure... When I stop doing that, bad things happen.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Sorry your company isn't doing well Inc. Are they heading down the road like Circuit City did?
Let us know how the SMART meeting went. I read some about them and it interests me.
I am glad your fiancé is helping to hold you accountable. It's good to have a partner whom understands what you need to make a go of living life on life's terms.
Good to see you OMD!
Let us know how the SMART meeting went. I read some about them and it interests me.
I am glad your fiancé is helping to hold you accountable. It's good to have a partner whom understands what you need to make a go of living life on life's terms.
Good to see you OMD!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yes OMD. Circuit city bound. Who knows... They might make it. I figure I have 1yr to look for an upgrade. Some online posts suggest they'll be out of money by November.
Thr meeting was cool. Small. Maybe 7 peeps. Casual. A lot less court ordered visitors. More middle class too.
They have a workbook that looks pretty good. I just ordered mine for $10. Money well spent. It's based on cognitive behavior therapy and rational recovery.
I checked one out and loved the topics. The whole program is based on self learning. The meetings are there to cover topics in depth or to discuss anything a member wants help with.
Some of them will do worksheets together as a group. Like listing and prioritizing everything that's important to you. Others are just talk.
They have online meetings as well. Half of those there today do online classes too. In fact, a couple of them were only online and decided to check out a 3D meeting to see what it's like.
I plan on going again. Most definitely will be checking out the online meetings. You can pick meetings based in North America, or supposedly one is based in Britain.
Some meetings are video chat, others text only. I'd like to explore video chat.
There was a couple guys there that I could relate too. My age. One of them is going through divorce. I'm hoping to see him next week.
Thr meeting was cool. Small. Maybe 7 peeps. Casual. A lot less court ordered visitors. More middle class too.
They have a workbook that looks pretty good. I just ordered mine for $10. Money well spent. It's based on cognitive behavior therapy and rational recovery.
I checked one out and loved the topics. The whole program is based on self learning. The meetings are there to cover topics in depth or to discuss anything a member wants help with.
Some of them will do worksheets together as a group. Like listing and prioritizing everything that's important to you. Others are just talk.
They have online meetings as well. Half of those there today do online classes too. In fact, a couple of them were only online and decided to check out a 3D meeting to see what it's like.
I plan on going again. Most definitely will be checking out the online meetings. You can pick meetings based in North America, or supposedly one is based in Britain.
Some meetings are video chat, others text only. I'd like to explore video chat.
There was a couple guys there that I could relate too. My age. One of them is going through divorce. I'm hoping to see him next week.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Well done Inc for following through with the SMART meeting. Keep us posted.
Watching the snow fly after a 63 degree day yesterday. Bizarre weather here. I don't look forward to my long drive to work in less than idea conditions.
Have a great day all!
Watching the snow fly after a 63 degree day yesterday. Bizarre weather here. I don't look forward to my long drive to work in less than idea conditions.
Have a great day all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yeppo SG. Same thing here. So far, we've been pretty lucky on the winter weather front. Knock on wood. Please 
It is pretty though. I still love snow. I find it very peaceful. Some of my fondest memories growing up involves snow.
When I was little, I used to deliver the morning paper at 5am. Snowy mornings were one of my faves. Especially in Maine where it snows feet at a time.
It was soo quiet and peaceful. The snow insulates sound. The only noise I'd hear would be my own footsteps. Same goes for visibility. It's as though the rest of the world didn't exist. Just me and the universe. I remember standing there to soak in the beauty and serenity.
I also skied growing up. Both cross country and downhill. They provided beautiful scenery, excitement, bonding, and serenity.
It is pretty though. I still love snow. I find it very peaceful. Some of my fondest memories growing up involves snow.
When I was little, I used to deliver the morning paper at 5am. Snowy mornings were one of my faves. Especially in Maine where it snows feet at a time.
It was soo quiet and peaceful. The snow insulates sound. The only noise I'd hear would be my own footsteps. Same goes for visibility. It's as though the rest of the world didn't exist. Just me and the universe. I remember standing there to soak in the beauty and serenity.
I also skied growing up. Both cross country and downhill. They provided beautiful scenery, excitement, bonding, and serenity.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Originally Posted by Incontrol15 
Yeppo SG. Same thing here. So far, we've been pretty lucky on the winter weather front. Knock on wood. Please
It is pretty though. I still love snow. I find it very peaceful. Some of my fondest memories growing up involves snow.
It was soo quiet and peaceful. The snow insulates sound. The only noise I'd hear would be my own footsteps. Same goes for visibility. It's as though the rest of the world didn't exist. Just me and the universe. I remember standing there to soak in the beauty and serenity.
It is pretty though. I still love snow. I find it very peaceful. Some of my fondest memories growing up involves snow.
It was soo quiet and peaceful. The snow insulates sound. The only noise I'd hear would be my own footsteps. Same goes for visibility. It's as though the rest of the world didn't exist. Just me and the universe. I remember standing there to soak in the beauty and serenity.
Have a great Friday all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Spoke to lawyer about the debt. Not much I can do. I think I'll have to negotiate a payoff to avoid this rolling up to my brother. I owe $4800. Maybe they'll take $2400. Anyone have a spare $2k?
I'm not overly stressed about it. It is what it is. Feels great to see it that way. As a drunk, I would far more stressed.
I'm not overly stressed about it. It is what it is. Feels great to see it that way. As a drunk, I would far more stressed.
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