24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 196
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,868
I had a relapse dream and now I feel so guilty about it... 
I went at a Canadian Tire last night in a mall close to where I live and in the same mall there is a bar and they were playing a live band and I could hear it from the parking lot. Instant feeling of euphoria of past parties at bars. Dancing, laughing and flirting. Self-confidence in a bottle. Then I imagined the "after" and said to myself "You can't do that! Please don't! DON'T! I I started crying in despair. (I woke up)
Oh what a nightmare.
Not the good place to share this but I had to write it now.
Thanks Life : I'm still sober.
Thanks for reading this - I feel safe with you guys
I went at a Canadian Tire last night in a mall close to where I live and in the same mall there is a bar and they were playing a live band and I could hear it from the parking lot. Instant feeling of euphoria of past parties at bars. Dancing, laughing and flirting. Self-confidence in a bottle. Then I imagined the "after" and said to myself "You can't do that! Please don't! DON'T! I I started crying in despair. (I woke up)
Oh what a nightmare.
Not the good place to share this but I had to write it now.
Thanks Life : I'm still sober.
Thanks for reading this - I feel safe with you guys
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Back on the wagon
I'm back after a year's drinking. And though it's always lovely to talk to such a great group of supportive people, I kinda wish I did not need to be back.
I had nearly four years sober, and then was tempted to have 'an evening of a few beers'. That 'evening' has lasted the best part of a year. I've wasted money, time, and energy - giving up something so good and precious for the sake of beer and alcohol. So I'm feeling humbled with somewhat of a sense of failure, but also I see a glimpse of new light again. I'm 8 days in to sobriety again. I hate these early days and weeks but know they will pass.
I really appreciate this place. I just wish I had come here when I needed to last year. Perhaps I knew what I would hear and wanted to pretend things were different. This time I'll stay close to help.
I did come back as 'emjay2017' a few days ago. I think I was a bit ashamed to come back as me, but I realise now that was unnecessary and a bit daft.
I have a stinking cold as well. I promise not to drink today, but I can't promise not to be grumpy!
It sort of is lovely to see such a great crowd again though. SR is a very special place.
Michael (aka emjay 2017)
I had nearly four years sober, and then was tempted to have 'an evening of a few beers'. That 'evening' has lasted the best part of a year. I've wasted money, time, and energy - giving up something so good and precious for the sake of beer and alcohol. So I'm feeling humbled with somewhat of a sense of failure, but also I see a glimpse of new light again. I'm 8 days in to sobriety again. I hate these early days and weeks but know they will pass.
I really appreciate this place. I just wish I had come here when I needed to last year. Perhaps I knew what I would hear and wanted to pretend things were different. This time I'll stay close to help.
I did come back as 'emjay2017' a few days ago. I think I was a bit ashamed to come back as me, but I realise now that was unnecessary and a bit daft.
I have a stinking cold as well. I promise not to drink today, but I can't promise not to be grumpy!
It sort of is lovely to see such a great crowd again though. SR is a very special place.
Michael (aka emjay 2017)
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,877
"You are stronger than your challenges and your challenges are making you stronger."
6:15am in Alberta. Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!
Count me in for 24 more..
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,761
I stopped drinking in mid-October, didn't have very many drinking dreams, but this last week they've been very frequent. I wonder if I'm at that stage of recovery or if it was getting thru the holiday season that triggered them. Hope they go away....
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