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Class of March 2016 part 38

Old 12-27-2016, 09:07 AM
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Keets you sound so strong and determined!!

Checking in...drinking some Santa's Secret tea, which is a black tea with peppermint and candy cane...yumm!!

I just bought "Drinking a Love Story" on audio-book and have listened to the first chapter...so far so good....will try another this afternoon. I really need to add to my toolbox...I am tired of the days ones and the starting over and the lack of progress.
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Old 12-27-2016, 09:43 AM
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Hi everyone!

I hear ya, Sam, on being so tired of having to start over. It's a vicious and exhausting cycle. I like Applekat's saying ... nothing changes if nothing changes. So true.

Husband is off again today so we are went to visit his grandmother in the nursing home this morning (she's 92) and now his parents are over having leftover turkey with us. They don't drink, but can be a trigger. Managed to run to the store by myself and not make any unecessary stops. One day at a time.

Keets, it's great to see you. Sorry to hear about your husband, but you have to put yourself first. Hugs.

Hope you're all having a great day.
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Old 12-27-2016, 11:58 AM
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I love your new avatar, Sam.

Great job, LB, on getting to the store and back. My in-laws can drive me nuts too, I used to tolerate them by drinking.

Enjoy your day.
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Old 12-27-2016, 01:18 PM
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Just finished a really great meditation...thought I'd share a bit;

"You have been climbing a mountain. It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Steady your shoulders. Breathe deeply. Move forward in confidence and peace. The time is coming to relish and enjoy all which you have fought for. There will be more mountains, of that be certain. But now you know how to climb them"
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Old 12-27-2016, 02:04 PM
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Great to hear from you Keets! you sound good
Sam I'm like that too, I never know what to do myself whenever I get some free time.
Hi Ladybug and Bobbie
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Old 12-27-2016, 02:09 PM
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I like the med'n Sam. Seems as I get older- the more wisdom I can read into stuff not so long ago I would have thought cheap or uncool.,
After all...life is the same as something we can compare it to- explain, describe why- then come to a simple yet wise conclusion. Don't you think? (amanamantha)
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Old 12-27-2016, 03:02 PM
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Very nice, Sam. I like that a lot.

I am watching this show/movie on HBO called Risky Drinking. Holy cow - I have been just about everyone of these people at one time or another.

Have a good night. Don't be a donkey.
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Old 12-27-2016, 03:18 PM
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Good to see you Keets!

Hey everyone!

I had an urge earlier but "surfed" it and played the tape through. Sober today thanks to you all! Slept maybe 3 hours last night....the brain exercises must have worked because my mind would not slow down! Trying to get back into reading, drawing, (oh yeah - and that exercise place...what's it called again?!?)
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Old 12-27-2016, 03:20 PM
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Hi P, PJ
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Old 12-27-2016, 04:41 PM
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Gym? Love the avatar purple.
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Old 12-27-2016, 05:00 PM
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Great job Purplrks!! And I love your new avatar too!!!

I've never heard of that show MITA...will have to check it out

Hi Bobbie!!!

The night is winding down here. Today turned out okay after all.....some reading, some meditation, some time outside.....it was nice. Tomorrow is another day off (day three in a row...what!?!) and I think it will be more of the same...learning to enjoy my own company after forty years is weird but it's time.....
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Old 12-27-2016, 05:24 PM
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Well there was a Smart meeting but it's been cancelled. Logged into the chat room so I can bounce back and forth from here to there. Good time to go over some notes as well. Is it multitasking or A.D.D.?!?!?
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Old 12-27-2016, 05:43 PM
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Looking over some notes: book suggestion ~ anyone heard of:

Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction by Maia Szalavitz
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Old 12-27-2016, 06:04 PM
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Hi all, getting ready to call it a night. Ended up going out to our favorite place for dinner and then took the girls for ice cream. It was a nice night. Taking my oldest to the Dr tomorrow to get her cough checked out. She's had this congested cough for almost 2 weeks now, but she feels fine, no fever or any other symptoms. However, today she started losing her voice. Hoping it's just a cold or allergies.

Wishing you all a good night.
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Old 12-27-2016, 08:30 PM
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Still here, still up and down.

Good to see you Keets. Sorry to hear of your familial situation but it sounds like you're very grounded in what you want and need. Congrats on finishing chemo and beating it back.

Good to see you too MITA. Hopefully it settles down soon.

Purpl, you and me both as it relates to perhaps letting the holidays get away a little bit. You're doing great with your recent time. Perhaps that "gym" thing might be fun.

I like the meditation Sam. Sounds like your time off is a good productive start to rediscovering yourself. You're so worth it. Enjoy your days off.

Dee, thank you as always for being out steward.

My apologies to those I've missed. Best wishes to all.
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Old 12-27-2016, 10:25 PM
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Hi everyone

Good to see you Keets! I think you're making the right choices. Hard choices, but necessary.

I'm doing ok. Thanks for all the love after my recent unexpected loss of a dear friend. He was an organ donor though, and was able to give 6 people a new chance at life right before Christmas. So it became a bit happier.

I had been still suffering with terrible migraines and finally had an MRI done which showed a "raging sinus infection." (The exact words of the MRI guy.) So was put on strong antibiotics and the headaches are resolving! But unfortunately my alcoholism is not

One day at a time.

Congrats Bobbie on your 200 days and your weight loss! And I'm sorry about your brother's seizures. I have had one grand mal in my life (related in my case to withdrawal and heat stroke) and it took a lot out of me. I was very sore and in a fog and had bitten my tongue very hard. They are hard on a body.

I'm glad to see you to clearlyheaded and sorry too for your brother's troubles. I hope he can pull out of his funk soon.

I do have a cursive Serenity tattoo on my side that I got while in treatment years ago. I still love it. Ironically, I also have a totally unrelated Courage tattoo. Now if only I could find the wisdom, and keep it!!

Xoxox
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Old 12-28-2016, 03:33 AM
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Good to hear from you Jemma! It's good to see so many Marchers checking in despite some difficult circumstances.

Keets, I wish you all the best. You sound courageous, seriously courageous.

MITA, even the hectic good stuff can drive me to drink. Good for you.

Purpl, I hadn't heard of the Szalavitz book, but I looked it up and it sounds like the real deal. Let us know what you think of it. I might pick it up myself.

Sam, I like that meditation! I really should try meditation to quiet my mind. Good stuff.

I've sorta had my fill of family I think. Childless myself, the kiddies can wear me out! Also tired of turning down offers of drinks, tired of passing kitchen counters covered with bottles. Last night I couldn't sleep and I thought, just go down and nurse a beer. But I played it through: a second beer, a shot of whiskey, tomorrow a bottle.

Somehow, I've got to stay sober because a lot of crap is gonna fall on my shoulders, and soon. My father has months to live. I've got to make decisions about windmills next. I kid you not. What the h* do I know about windmills!

I'm flying to the west coast tomorrow. Whew!! My wife is already there.

Yesterday I went to watch Tundra Swans at a nearby nature preserve. Talk about brave and sober birds, they breed above the Arctic circle, winter here. A lesson in that I think. Whitman wrote that he liked the animals because they don't whine and complain about their condition. Yup, I should think about that.

Sorry for the ramble. Stay strong one and all.
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:33 AM
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Morning friends!!

Purplrks - never heard of the book...if you decide to check it out let us know how it is

LB - sounds like a nice night

Thirteenth and Jemma - so good to hear from you ❤❤

Pelagic - sorry to hear about your dad. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way. Also....windmills?

Well off to start the day and make a dark, bitter cuppa Nepal Black. (That's for you PJ)

Love you guys!!
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:54 AM
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(((Pel)))

D
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Old 12-28-2016, 06:26 AM
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Morning everyone
Got in a big fight last night with hubby about the same crap as always. He decided to sleep on the couch last night and I'm fine with that it was his choice I wasn't going to stop him.
A few months ago we were moving and he was drinking without telling me. I could tell he was in no shapt to drive so I said something and he got mad and took off anyways to get another load. 49 mins later he came home with his face torn up so bad he needed stitches in several places. He was trying to load the snowblower and it fell on his face because the ramp fell. He didn't drink for a few close to a week because of that. Maybe I'm mean but I had no sympathy for him I was mad because he left and was driving in the first place. I was mad because he didn't listen to me when I said I didn't think he should go.
Now he walks around tells everyone how he just has "had some bad luck". Really? Ok so I know I cannot controll him and change him he needs to donut himself. The problem is he started drinking a week later and didn't see that was a problem. I just get blamed for not caring because " I didn't care that he hurt himself and he is sorry he got hurt" that's what I'm dealing with.

I did say yesterday I have been drinking off and on it not a lot I think watching my husband go through all this makes me really not want to drink. Did I ever act like that? It's not pretty and I want no part of it not even being sober watching him kill him self with booze. It has taken a really long time to get where I am. I'm starting to become the person I wanted robbed before I was drinking and he is ruining my success. Not to sound selfish but what I think he does to me is selfish. A marriage shouldn't work this way and I cannot be around someone who sneaks around drinking and not there to support me in my decision.

Haha sorry that got long hope your still with me. It was half vent and felt good to get out
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