Class of March 2016 part 38
H Sam Yes that is progress. Good to do the exercise bit. 0022, 4/1/17 here- did not get to sleep until 0500 this morning because I was wired after spending 14 hours yesterday doing recovery work. Saw counsellor persons today- another gargantuan pile of stuff for me (if I so choose- which I do). Am doing okay. Cannot help but think of family today. But I did not run away from those feelings (sadness, grief, etc) by exhausting myself in the gym or art or whatever. I forced myself to sit with the bloody feelings and work through them. The plan is if I wash, rinse- repeat, around the 1000000 time, perhaps I will start to feel better. Also the same about eating and coffee (dammit). I did my brain health stuff by spending some time on THAT bloody jigsaw- 15 minutes every day. Also after 6 weeks managed after at least 12 emails to get a clear- specific piece of info I need for my studies. Tomorrow I crank up exercise to another notch- for health and weight loss. Tried to get to sleep b4- impossible here- the loonies come out to play at night, hibernating in their rooms by day. I hate this place sometimes- I hear other people say they are doing such and such. Sometimes their behaviour is very inappropriate. So there is a duty of care to tell someone. All I want is to do my stuff. However if I do not say anything and bad stuff happens- what does that tell me about myself. Bearing in mind some of these loonies have serious criminal records- usually around drugs, assault etc. Hardly my realm of experience. But that is just part of life. Enough- guru, (and every bodies). Ugh.
But I did not run away from those feelings (sadness, grief, etc) by exhausting myself in the gym or art or whatever. I forced myself to sit with the bloody feelings and work through them. The plan is if I wash, rinse- repeat, around the 1000000 time, perhaps I will start to feel better.
Good morning! Checking in. Back to more of a routine today. Including major laundry.
Hubs and I are tracking expenses this month and then setting more of a budget. Basically this is code for me needing to stop random Target trips. Seriously though, it's a good idea.
Lots of great support happening here, I love it. Thankful for this group. Happy to be stepping in the right direction (again).
Hubs and I are tracking expenses this month and then setting more of a budget. Basically this is code for me needing to stop random Target trips. Seriously though, it's a good idea.
Lots of great support happening here, I love it. Thankful for this group. Happy to be stepping in the right direction (again).
I am looking forward to seeing it...the tickets were a gift and are to the VIP theater here where they serve you drinks right to your seat....good thing I don't drink
I have also started saving all my non-drinking money for a yoga retreat this summer....so I guess this will add a little more into the pot
I have also started saving all my non-drinking money for a yoga retreat this summer....so I guess this will add a little more into the pot
Sam - you remind me of the author of Diary of am alcoholic Housewife - Brenda Wilhelmson. She was very into yoga and even threw herself a yoga party for her girlfriends for her 40th birthday. No booze. Planned it herself to be sure. Not sure why that detail sticks out to me. Probably bc it impressed me she grabbed the reins.
Hi everyone!
Kiki, I meant to say earlier that I am so glad you are back with us! You were missed and you are never alone in this struggle.
AK, it is the last day of vacation for everyone here, too. Nobody wants to go back go school/work, but, yes, it will be nice to get back to a routine.
Will post more later ... my 2 year old keeps trying to grab my phone!!
Kiki, I meant to say earlier that I am so glad you are back with us! You were missed and you are never alone in this struggle.
AK, it is the last day of vacation for everyone here, too. Nobody wants to go back go school/work, but, yes, it will be nice to get back to a routine.
Will post more later ... my 2 year old keeps trying to grab my phone!!
Hi everyone! Happy New Year!
Well I fell off the wagon and it drug me around for a couple of months. It got so bad I was starting to feel suicidal. About 4 nights ago I finally confessed it all to my husband. He didn't know the extent of it all. I had been trying to get sober in secret when I was "trying" though looking at it now I know it was only half heartedly trying. For the first time in so long I can't remember, I finally feel at peace. Once I told him, I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
Now I don't feel like I'm quitting drinking but starting to heal. I guess I finally got to that place where living in that hell was worse than accepting the truth.
Day 2
Well I fell off the wagon and it drug me around for a couple of months. It got so bad I was starting to feel suicidal. About 4 nights ago I finally confessed it all to my husband. He didn't know the extent of it all. I had been trying to get sober in secret when I was "trying" though looking at it now I know it was only half heartedly trying. For the first time in so long I can't remember, I finally feel at peace. Once I told him, I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
Now I don't feel like I'm quitting drinking but starting to heal. I guess I finally got to that place where living in that hell was worse than accepting the truth.
Day 2
Good morning. I slept horribly last night. A lot of funky dreams, which is the norm for me but these were kicked up a couple notches. Day 3 here so hopefully I'll start getting back to a some what normal sleep soon.
I bought my first book today. Diary of an Alcoholic housewife. I checked it out after seeing apples comment above. I never wanted to buy anything before for fear of my husband seeing it. I buy everything on iBook so he would have seen the title come across. I'm definitely identifying with a lot I've read so far.
Since our talk things have gotten so much better between us. This morning I came down to the coffee pot with a note that said it's all loaded just press start. That has NEVER happened.
I bought my first book today. Diary of an Alcoholic housewife. I checked it out after seeing apples comment above. I never wanted to buy anything before for fear of my husband seeing it. I buy everything on iBook so he would have seen the title come across. I'm definitely identifying with a lot I've read so far.
Since our talk things have gotten so much better between us. This morning I came down to the coffee pot with a note that said it's all loaded just press start. That has NEVER happened.
Good afternoon all! Dog is OK now. Happy belated birthday Keets! I just deleted a long post about me griping about all the stuff going on this month for me. Just me griping. It did help me writing it down before deleting. I will mention I'm doing well on sobriety along with the new diet. And I have jury duty this month of all things. Don't know if I'm picked yet, I just have to check in on Friday to see if I'm needed.
PR - I think that book will have to be next on my list. I imagine there is something very freeing having everything out in the open....happy for you ❤
Upstairs - glad your dog is better...so sad when an animal isn't feeling well. And griping is a-okay here...although you're right....writing it down is very therapeutic in and of itself.
Well just back from a rainy walk with Charlie....time for some tea
Upstairs - glad your dog is better...so sad when an animal isn't feeling well. And griping is a-okay here...although you're right....writing it down is very therapeutic in and of itself.
Well just back from a rainy walk with Charlie....time for some tea
Hi all, I am sick today with a terrible stomach bug, ugh. It started last night after dinner and I am just now able to keep some fluids down. Hoping the rest of the family doesn't get it. My poor 2 yo is having to entertain herself today. As bad as I feel, I am still sitting here feeling grateful that it isn't a hangover. I am done with those days.
Will check back later when I am feeling better. Just wanted to check in and say I'm thinking of you all xxx
Will check back later when I am feeling better. Just wanted to check in and say I'm thinking of you all xxx
Feel better Ladybug.
Gripe away, Upstairs.
Hey, Kiki!
PR - bad dreams must have been contagious last night. My dreams were weird and have read many others had bad dreams.
Sam - AK - good to know our resident nerds are in the house. lol
PHX - hope you're sleeping really well right now, with only peaceful, good dreams.
Thirteenth - sending you good vibes across the country.
Gripe away, Upstairs.
Hey, Kiki!
PR - bad dreams must have been contagious last night. My dreams were weird and have read many others had bad dreams.
Sam - AK - good to know our resident nerds are in the house. lol
PHX - hope you're sleeping really well right now, with only peaceful, good dreams.
Thirteenth - sending you good vibes across the country.
Hi people - up since 0600- slept a little thanks B. Temp 34C today then 37 tomorrow- 40 Friday. Meant to be going to meet a Prof. person fri to do placements/volunteer stuff. Another ugh! Weatherwise.
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