Class of March 2016 part 36
 

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-35-a-21.html

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All right, I can post this now. From part 35 but it was closed.

Disappointing as it is, I'm still stuck in what I can only assume is a bargaining stage. I'll get through this patch and then things will be different. If only I can get through [fill in the blank] then I'll get sober. Making the full decision is still killing me, in multiple ways and I dislike that I can't seem to do it. Still, again, as always, repeated ad nauseam, I am not giving up.

There is a bright spot. I had talked to my closest friend a while back about the drinking problem and he was not surprised. It then was relegated to non-issue. I chose not to pursue it at that time as perhaps the discussion wasn't to be had then. It came up today, by my own choice. I said I needed to cut back and then very frankly said that I think I need to quit. The response: I'll support you, of course. That was good to hear, but I still have to figure out what's holding me back.

Thank you Bobbie for your post. Congrats on your milestone.

Equal congrats to you Upstairs on yours, and you too, immri, and PJ.

Keep it up all of you. I'm proud to be surrounded, and supported by, such a wonderful group of people.

To all I missed, my apologies. Dee, thanks for a new thread (though it took a while! :dee). :thanks

Glad you're having these conversations, Thirteenth, and that you checked in. Wish you'd just take the plunge, but I get how hard that can be. Hang close and maybe some of whatever Bobbieka and immri and Phoenix and Upstairs and others here have will rub off on us.

And, Dee, I think on nights when you see we're sitting at 450 posts or so, you should just go ahead and stay up all night just in case. :dee

But seriously, thanks for the new digs and for all you do for everyone here. Have a wonderful Saturday!

You and me both, Tracy, I mean Casey. I hate to admit that I let the stuff get to me and pushed off my quitting yet again, but that's what I did.

Thanks, Dee.

Hey, 13th. Dang. The gang's all here. Very cool. We can get to first place a lot faster with everyone participating.

Still missing a few. Hope you guys check in when you get a chance.

Thirteenth, I think we do get it. It's not easy, but there is no time like the present. I don't know exactly how bad you feel your situation is, but you keep telling yourself you want to stop and then you don't stop - so that is telling, I guess. My drinking was very heavy for a long time, but I managed to function pretty well. I had a few close calls driving but miraculously avoided the DUI. I drove drunk pretty regularly. I guess my point is, I know what it's like to literally go years knowing you have a drinking problem but still be unable to fix it. I don't recommend it. Don't continue to waste days, weeks and months. Take it one day at a time to start. Let us know how you are doing - every hour if you need to. Ok.

I hope everyone else is having a good day. I was looking forward to having the day off, but it's been a mixed bag. I had too much free time, which is not always good. I might go to the movies or something. I think I need a new hobby :)

Sorry about the wait 13th. There was no one in the thread when I closed it.
Sometimes I have to prioritise - no reflection on you, or this thread :)

Casey :twak: lol
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That's the thing, MITA. Of course you get it, everyone here does. I don't. That would seem to be the core of my problem. I don't really want to quit. If I did, I'd have made better work of it by at least getting a week or so together. I clearly haven't done that. It's a morass from which I have yet to free myself. But I will keep at it by posting and seeking support.

Just giving you a hard time Dee. No offense taken or even considered. :)

I think if you didn't want to quit you wouldn't be here, still posting.

My problem was I had a little bit of quit surrounded by a whole lot of inertia - I was scared of changing my life, scared of who sober me would be, scared of the work and effort I'd have to put in and continue to put in as a sober person, and deathly scared of hurting, physically and emoptionally.

I wanted my problem fixed without any pain and any effort at all from me (preferably so I could drink as much as I like and not suffer any of the bad stuff).

Step one of achieving escape velocity from Planet Procrasta was to accept that Desire was unrealistic impossible and untenable.

I had to accept change and I had to accept effort - and I had to accept it would hurt in the short term.

Ironically, while it did hurt, it actually hurt less than my drinking life.

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Why do you have to be so damn accurate all time, Dee? Are you genie or something? I know, you seen it so many times and lived it, but it doesn't make it any less extraordinary.

I know there isn't likely to be some lightning bolt moment. I just have to put my foot down. How does one do that before being backed into a corner by health issues, or family issues, or any issues? I want to be ahead of this but the AV, or even my somewhat (I stress somewhat) rational self goes back to thinking it's no big deal. I've admitted I have a problem, I want to do something about it, why don't I take action.

Many of these are rhetorical questions, but any input is naturally welcome to steel-toe my ass into gear.

Another weekend is upon us :vd

Nice to see some new faces: Hello Tracy, Robbie, and Bearbgone! :lmao

I bought this book Rising Strong a week ago and still haven't started reading it....maybe I'll attempt that this evening.

There's a movie on ~ I have no clue what it's about, but it's got Channing Tatum in it! :love:

Isn't that all you need to know?

We haven't failed if we're still trying! Xo

LOVE this Dee! ^^^

Many people drink themselves straight into the coffin waiting to WANT to stop drinking. We're alcoholics! We may never really WANT to quit drinking but we can choose LIFE. We can't have both, can we?

Short-ish night at work for a Friday. Made pretty good money considering. I've actually been home for an hour or so but been playing video games. Now I'm going to watch some iZombie and try to crash reasonably early for me. It's been a nice sober day. Thanks to all of you for that.

My way was crash and burn Thirteenth - 'start running cos the engines about to blow' kinda deal...

I don't recommend that - I'm alive where many aren't...but I pretty much broke my health doing it that way.

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Good Saturday morning crew! Day one for me and it really has to be the last. This last bender took a lot out of me and everything went to hell.

Thirteenth as I recall you're younger than I am. If at all possible don't wait to make the move. It only gets worse. I started this journey in March and wow did it fight back. But I remember that first 41 days of sobriety and I was feeling so great by the end of it! I want that back!

Set a goal of one week or something like that. Post here and we can help you get there. You might be surprised how good you'll feel.

Make it a great day everyone. Love you guys.

Think about how you really can make this the last Pel - we're not invincible or infinitely renewable, you know?

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Agreed, Dee. It's got to stop, now and forever so I'm reworking a plan, adding meetings. I always feel optimistic after I get out of a bout but then I lose track of what's at stake.

I looked at some old paperwork and realized I've had elevated liver enzymes since 2012. Well, that won't hold up much longer. I'm pretty tough, but not that tough. Geesh.