Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 6
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
I've got a family funeral coming up on Friday, my Auntie. There are some big drinkers in my family, not least my dad, and alcohol fuelled flash points are the norm when we get together. It's a long drive and I feel confident I can make it through without drinking. We're staying in a hotel away from the wake so if I get tempted I'm planning to head back there straight away, even if it's just for an hour or so. My family only normally see me drunk, such is the occasion when we all meet, so I'm looking forward to showing them a different side of me. It sounds awful, but before I'd be focused on the wake and that first drink. Justifying myself that I need it to cope with the occasion. This time it's about remembering my auntie and showing my respect, and supporting her close family in any way I can. Dealing with drunk family might be part of that I guess.
Have a great day all.
Have a great day all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 106
I'm sorry for your loss 5uper. I think you know what you want to accomplish and you have a backup plan just in case. Is anyone else going with you that can be some kind of sober support? Just remember how good it will feel for you to be present in those moments. You can always take a break if you need one, a little walk, a little distraction, if you feel compelled to drink. I'm betting that feeling passes as soon as you see everyone else getting drunk, remind yourself that you aren't that person anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
Thanks all for your kind thoughts. Truth is we werent close, we only met up at occasional family events and she wasnt a drinker so didnt get much of my time. Only the big drinkers did, but that can change now.
Feeling very confident there wont be a set back, but if temptation does rear its ugly head I'll dig into the tool box.
Hope evetyone is well.
Feeling very confident there wont be a set back, but if temptation does rear its ugly head I'll dig into the tool box.
Hope evetyone is well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi!
5uper good job on the backup plan. That's awkward if you guys get loaded every time you hang out. Stay strong.
I'm here. I'm doing pretty well. My health has been a lot better lately. I've been getting a lot more done. My friend in the hospital let her apartment get really nasty. She just couldn't care for herself properly. My sister and I did 3 hours of throwing out trash and getting surfaces cleared off and organized things in boxes and such. 15 black trash bags of crap.
Then we sent in 2 house cleaners this morning to scour the place and I had the carpets cleaned in the afternoon. Her futon was gross. I bought a new futon mattress only to realize the metal frame was toast as well. I managed to sweet talk the superintendent into helping me get the mattes and frame into the building dumpster on the sly this morning. Normally you can't do that. He's so big he ripped up the metal frame by just kicking and thrashing it. Getting that thing out if there was going to be a pain in the neck.
The place is absolutely transformed. Brilliant!! It's a nice apartment. Tomorrow I'm going to borrow my brother's big wagon and pick up the new futon I had ordered at a small bedding firm here, and a new metal frame in the box. Those frames are $85 with free shipping online and $200 in the small futon place up the road (I did not get the mattress from them as I thought they had motives to sell me all kinds of overpriced extras). I'm going to tell them I'm ordering online unless they can do something about the price. It's a bluff but I bet it will work.
I also got a good allergy and liquid proof fabric zip cover, a mattress pad, sheets and pillows. I managed to do it all with her money and even though I got premium stuff I didn't spend that much. The only wrench in the thing is that frame, I was not expecting it.
I'm getting very sleepy. I've been feeling way better than before. I'll tell you more next time.
5uper good job on the backup plan. That's awkward if you guys get loaded every time you hang out. Stay strong.
I'm here. I'm doing pretty well. My health has been a lot better lately. I've been getting a lot more done. My friend in the hospital let her apartment get really nasty. She just couldn't care for herself properly. My sister and I did 3 hours of throwing out trash and getting surfaces cleared off and organized things in boxes and such. 15 black trash bags of crap.
Then we sent in 2 house cleaners this morning to scour the place and I had the carpets cleaned in the afternoon. Her futon was gross. I bought a new futon mattress only to realize the metal frame was toast as well. I managed to sweet talk the superintendent into helping me get the mattes and frame into the building dumpster on the sly this morning. Normally you can't do that. He's so big he ripped up the metal frame by just kicking and thrashing it. Getting that thing out if there was going to be a pain in the neck.
The place is absolutely transformed. Brilliant!! It's a nice apartment. Tomorrow I'm going to borrow my brother's big wagon and pick up the new futon I had ordered at a small bedding firm here, and a new metal frame in the box. Those frames are $85 with free shipping online and $200 in the small futon place up the road (I did not get the mattress from them as I thought they had motives to sell me all kinds of overpriced extras). I'm going to tell them I'm ordering online unless they can do something about the price. It's a bluff but I bet it will work.
I also got a good allergy and liquid proof fabric zip cover, a mattress pad, sheets and pillows. I managed to do it all with her money and even though I got premium stuff I didn't spend that much. The only wrench in the thing is that frame, I was not expecting it.
I'm getting very sleepy. I've been feeling way better than before. I'll tell you more next time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Continued from last night. I'm getting tired of waking up at 6a.m!!! 
Can't I get a good 10 hours of sleep? What a difference. Before July I was up at 10 at the earliest, and many times noon or later. W Foods doesn't open for my hot oatmeal oatmeal, banana and sausage breakfast until 8! I can't function without that. Watching some CNN. Uuughhh.
I picked up a Notice to Vacate my apartment (scared face). I've got to fill it out and hand it in this week. I've been here since 1998 and I need a change. It's a massive place and the rent is cheap. It's been a trap in that way. It comfortable. Again, I'd rather be somewhere beautiful than this city and state. I got my BA in 2011 and was going to leave, but I drank. I'm too talented and too much of a powerhouse not to go out and thrive. No one thrives here. An old neighbor came back from 3 years in NYC. He lost about 40 pounds. His artwork took off there (even though it's terrible, ooooofff, garbage). And he looks happy. He had a nasty vibe about him when he lived here. That vibe is distinctly missing.
That new med I got may be working for my allergies, immune system, and inflation. I'm way better I know that. I'm down to 160lbs. I started this at 180!!! I'm at a perfect weight for 5'7" tall . The fat face is gone. I went to the Naturopathic Physician. He said, "keep doing exactly what you're doing." He also ruled out Candida as a serious issue for me just by looking at me. The signs aren't there. I don't look like crap, overweight, etc. That means I don't need to worry about crazy money for doctors or tests. I'm going to need very little, in terms of cash visits, from my new APRN that's treating this.
Ok thanks.
Can't I get a good 10 hours of sleep? What a difference. Before July I was up at 10 at the earliest, and many times noon or later. W Foods doesn't open for my hot oatmeal oatmeal, banana and sausage breakfast until 8! I can't function without that. Watching some CNN. Uuughhh. I picked up a Notice to Vacate my apartment (scared face). I've got to fill it out and hand it in this week. I've been here since 1998 and I need a change. It's a massive place and the rent is cheap. It's been a trap in that way. It comfortable. Again, I'd rather be somewhere beautiful than this city and state. I got my BA in 2011 and was going to leave, but I drank. I'm too talented and too much of a powerhouse not to go out and thrive. No one thrives here. An old neighbor came back from 3 years in NYC. He lost about 40 pounds. His artwork took off there (even though it's terrible, ooooofff, garbage). And he looks happy. He had a nasty vibe about him when he lived here. That vibe is distinctly missing.
That new med I got may be working for my allergies, immune system, and inflation. I'm way better I know that. I'm down to 160lbs. I started this at 180!!! I'm at a perfect weight for 5'7" tall . The fat face is gone. I went to the Naturopathic Physician. He said, "keep doing exactly what you're doing." He also ruled out Candida as a serious issue for me just by looking at me. The signs aren't there. I don't look like crap, overweight, etc. That means I don't need to worry about crazy money for doctors or tests. I'm going to need very little, in terms of cash visits, from my new APRN that's treating this.
Ok thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Viper, sounds like a change in scenery could be the additional motivator for you! I can't believe it's November, posting on the July thread was a stark reminder of how far I'd come. I started for health, staying in for the mind, as well as the body. I've found I just don't care about some of the things I used to dwell on and care more about the things I ignored due to being drunk every day after 5. I've been thinking about a change in scenery for work. I have been here for 29 years and it's a job that requires lots of planning other people's lives, navigating the systems for finding programming and budgets for long term care of special needs adults. The parents need me, they need to have someone all there, ready to go all out. I'm putting my energy into training the next people to do this, pairing with local University to train new people. What's next........never wrapped my head around what is next. Something different, something that doesn't sap the life out of me everyday?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
Loving the positivity in this thread. What an amazing thing to do for your friend Viper. 
Funeral went well. Spent loads of time catching up with relatives and was one of the last to leave. I'm learning that it's best not to say that I've quit, drinkers tend to find it an awkward/uncomfortable subject. I think they feel threatened that I might be be scrutinising them, and it's understandable because as time wore on I was getting pretty irritated by a few that were far gone and kept repeating stuff over and over, leaning into me stinking of stale booze, that sort of thing. That was me just a few months ago.
Based on what I saw today, it surprised me just how many people don't drink at all, and of those that do most can pace themselves or stop after a few. Those, like me, who can't control their alcohol intake seem to stick out like a sore thumb. Always assumed I blended in, to some extent, until I was totally off it. Also interesting to note how unhappy the drinkers who had drove were, I could see it really eating away at one the whole time. He kept telling me how he couldn't wait to go to the pub after he'd driven home, and his mood lifted when his passengers where ready to go.
Looking forward to waking up in the hotel tomorrow morning with a clear head. Just about every family do before has ended with me waking up with that horrible feeling of anxiety and dread, usually accompanied by memory loss, and trying to sneak out of the hotel unnoticed rather than join others for breakfast.
I must make sure I don't get complacent but there was no temptation whatsoever to drink today. Keeping my guard up because I guess that will come and the less I expect it the more dangerous it could be.
Just reread this thread and I guess I'm sounding a bit smug about my sobriety, need to keep that in check. Pride comes before a fall.
Funeral went well. Spent loads of time catching up with relatives and was one of the last to leave. I'm learning that it's best not to say that I've quit, drinkers tend to find it an awkward/uncomfortable subject. I think they feel threatened that I might be be scrutinising them, and it's understandable because as time wore on I was getting pretty irritated by a few that were far gone and kept repeating stuff over and over, leaning into me stinking of stale booze, that sort of thing. That was me just a few months ago.
Based on what I saw today, it surprised me just how many people don't drink at all, and of those that do most can pace themselves or stop after a few. Those, like me, who can't control their alcohol intake seem to stick out like a sore thumb. Always assumed I blended in, to some extent, until I was totally off it. Also interesting to note how unhappy the drinkers who had drove were, I could see it really eating away at one the whole time. He kept telling me how he couldn't wait to go to the pub after he'd driven home, and his mood lifted when his passengers where ready to go.
Looking forward to waking up in the hotel tomorrow morning with a clear head. Just about every family do before has ended with me waking up with that horrible feeling of anxiety and dread, usually accompanied by memory loss, and trying to sneak out of the hotel unnoticed rather than join others for breakfast.
I must make sure I don't get complacent but there was no temptation whatsoever to drink today. Keeping my guard up because I guess that will come and the less I expect it the more dangerous it could be.
Just reread this thread and I guess I'm sounding a bit smug about my sobriety, need to keep that in check. Pride comes before a fall.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Viper, great that the whole family day went pretty great. I'm thinking about the comment about the drivers, that's why I hardly went out and tried to get home early. My friend used lots of excuses to get out of going places with her friends/family, we drank together. Since she passed people have talked about how she used to disappoint people because she was always leaving early, her boyfriend not a reliable driver either but he'd find his way home. She and I had fun here, music, games, laughing, DRINKING, getting high. I miss her and have to shake the guilt I feel even writing this. Wow, it hurts, but I got this sobriety, makes some of the pain go away to be in control of the disease that got her.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Tonight I thought of how horrible life was, for my brother. Died drinking. God it was horrible to watch him just die, but it was worse to try to be around him,before that. End stage alcoholics run everyone out of theirs lives, I'm told. I read that too. Sorry for dark tone. It's late I can't sleep and this is my work weekend- bleh
I'm very into my life now, since sober.
Hugs to y'all
I'm very into my life now, since sober.
Hugs to y'all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing...I've been out about a month and started drinking again. I'm back to Day 1 today feeling very anxious. I'm getting over some food poisoning I got on Thursday. Two full days of nausea and running to the bathroom every time I sipped something or ate a bite of food.
I feel sick and plan on taking it easy today...I'm going to make some ginger tea and try to eat something. The only good thing to come of the food poisoning is I lost about 5 pounds....
I'm going to join the November clsass, but just wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing :-)
I feel sick and plan on taking it easy today...I'm going to make some ginger tea and try to eat something. The only good thing to come of the food poisoning is I lost about 5 pounds....
I'm going to join the November clsass, but just wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Welcome back Optimist. And JL, I can relate to how it felt to watch late stage liver disease take its toll. Problem was I was drunk and didn't recognize it as such, certainly didn't think my beautiful 36 year old friend was going to be dead. So sorry about your brother.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi Optimist! Good to hear from you.
Well, I am pretty well finished with my friends apartmet. I wish I was sleeping there tonight instead of my place!! The new futon is very thick and tufted. New bedding is nice. My brother helped assemble the frame and put the bedding on there. It was a chore, but the assembly was fine.
Then my brother opened my friend's fridge and I realized how gross that was, so we emptied it out.
I went to see her in the hospital. She seems better.
Now I need to work on me!!!!!
Well, I am pretty well finished with my friends apartmet. I wish I was sleeping there tonight instead of my place!! The new futon is very thick and tufted. New bedding is nice. My brother helped assemble the frame and put the bedding on there. It was a chore, but the assembly was fine.
Then my brother opened my friend's fridge and I realized how gross that was, so we emptied it out.
I went to see her in the hospital. She seems better.
Now I need to work on me!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Good day. I did a bunch of laundry at my sister's place and took a hot shower in her big tiled glass shower. I'm sparkling.
We filled out my notice to vacate the apartment and I slipped that through the office door when I got home. So I have some work to do by the end of the month. I'm not freaking out, which is new for me. So I'll sell the rest of the stuff in here and probably hire a service to remove the old couch and chair and junk from here. There won't be a lot so I'm hoping it's fairly cheap.
My ticket is December 1st to a little spot off SW FL. I'll be there for a month and we may fly down to explore an cheap island or beach area South of the US. A scouting mission. I can't wait to get on that plane and let this place go.
Ok time for some TV and food. My diet ended up working. It took well over a month but I feel better. I'm so psyched about that.
We filled out my notice to vacate the apartment and I slipped that through the office door when I got home. So I have some work to do by the end of the month. I'm not freaking out, which is new for me. So I'll sell the rest of the stuff in here and probably hire a service to remove the old couch and chair and junk from here. There won't be a lot so I'm hoping it's fairly cheap.
My ticket is December 1st to a little spot off SW FL. I'll be there for a month and we may fly down to explore an cheap island or beach area South of the US. A scouting mission. I can't wait to get on that plane and let this place go.
Ok time for some TV and food. My diet ended up working. It took well over a month but I feel better. I'm so psyched about that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 139
Hi everyone. 
I've been cruising along as usual, not much to add really... just thought I'd drop in and say hi.
My twin daughters had their 8th birthday yesterday. One got roller skates and the other got a guitar, not to mention the party and all the crap their friends brought for them. Very happy little girls. I'm so much of a better father now I'm not drinking every day. The improvement in my 9 year old boy is tangible also. He has learning difficulties (though a high intelligence) and was really suffering without solid guidance from me. I guess it was all just meant to be just so.
4 months sober in a couple of days. I still get the urge to go for a beer on Sunday afternoons, it quickly passes.
Still need to get some sort of social life going, but I'm not too stressed about that at the moment. Will have to be content with internet forums for a while.
I've been cruising along as usual, not much to add really... just thought I'd drop in and say hi.
My twin daughters had their 8th birthday yesterday. One got roller skates and the other got a guitar, not to mention the party and all the crap their friends brought for them. Very happy little girls. I'm so much of a better father now I'm not drinking every day. The improvement in my 9 year old boy is tangible also. He has learning difficulties (though a high intelligence) and was really suffering without solid guidance from me. I guess it was all just meant to be just so.
4 months sober in a couple of days. I still get the urge to go for a beer on Sunday afternoons, it quickly passes.
Still need to get some sort of social life going, but I'm not too stressed about that at the moment. Will have to be content with internet forums for a while.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 106
Hi everyone! Still kicking, still sober. Fifteen weeks yesterday which is cool I guess, good for me/us!
I've been busy the past week or so car shopping (collaborative groan). My 2005 car with 77k miles needs more repair than she is worth, and with winter coming I'd feel safer in a more worthy vehicle. The hardest disappointment about having a car payment again is that I don't think I can swing a new place and a new car payment. Which would mean another 17 months in this place. It does feel better, homier, happier since it's been cleaned up 105 days ago, but I still see a lot of my drunk self here...letting it get to that point etc. I am worried they won't extend my lease in February giving me 60 days notice, but if that happens we can make something work.
Higher power is always in control, always need to remember that.
I had an unsolicited offer to apply to a job from a group who interviewed me last spring but elected not to hire anyone. Unexpected and nice! I need a change of pace so I'll apply and re-interview, there's no harm in a "no".
Americans happy election day tomorrow! I'm so glad the election cycle is almost over
Stay strong and stay sober friends, love you guys
I've been busy the past week or so car shopping (collaborative groan). My 2005 car with 77k miles needs more repair than she is worth, and with winter coming I'd feel safer in a more worthy vehicle. The hardest disappointment about having a car payment again is that I don't think I can swing a new place and a new car payment. Which would mean another 17 months in this place. It does feel better, homier, happier since it's been cleaned up 105 days ago, but I still see a lot of my drunk self here...letting it get to that point etc. I am worried they won't extend my lease in February giving me 60 days notice, but if that happens we can make something work.
Higher power is always in control, always need to remember that.
I had an unsolicited offer to apply to a job from a group who interviewed me last spring but elected not to hire anyone. Unexpected and nice! I need a change of pace so I'll apply and re-interview, there's no harm in a "no".
Americans happy election day tomorrow! I'm so glad the election cycle is almost over
Stay strong and stay sober friends, love you guys
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