Class of October 2016 Support Thread Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgetown, KY
Posts: 104
Day 12 in the books
Day 12 is in the books. Have saved approximately $240 by not drinking...funny how I justified spending that much at bars before. Just completed day 3 of p90x and ending night reading my Kindle. Keep it up everyone....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 76
SM I can relate to what you are saying. When I was drinking, I just wanted to be left alone to drink my life away. I didnt care about anything except my daughter, even she couldn't stop me from drinking though. I thought, and probably said, angry things to justify my behavior. I would leave the house looking a mess to go get more alcohol, walking alone at night in unsafe neighborhoods, and neglecting my responsibilities.
I try not to dwell on everything that I have messed up but it is hard sometimes. I had alot going for me a couple months ago, new baby, nice house, good marriage, awesome job, and money to do whatever I wanted. Now I have my baby girl and a house. I still have my job because I'm protected by a union but I don't see myself going back. My marriage is struggling and our finances are a mess because I'm not working. Oddly enough, I'm happier today than I was a couple months ago. I know the reason I'm happier is because I'm not drinking and I'm only 2 weeks sober. I can't even imagine how amazing I'm going to feel at 1 month, 6 months, and 1 year. Sorry I'm rambling, I drank coffee way too late this evening! Anyway I'm so glad I have this site to turn to. It is very helpful to read everyone's post and see that I'm not alone in this battle.
I try not to dwell on everything that I have messed up but it is hard sometimes. I had alot going for me a couple months ago, new baby, nice house, good marriage, awesome job, and money to do whatever I wanted. Now I have my baby girl and a house. I still have my job because I'm protected by a union but I don't see myself going back. My marriage is struggling and our finances are a mess because I'm not working. Oddly enough, I'm happier today than I was a couple months ago. I know the reason I'm happier is because I'm not drinking and I'm only 2 weeks sober. I can't even imagine how amazing I'm going to feel at 1 month, 6 months, and 1 year. Sorry I'm rambling, I drank coffee way too late this evening! Anyway I'm so glad I have this site to turn to. It is very helpful to read everyone's post and see that I'm not alone in this battle.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego
Posts: 32
Still here. Day 5. I get so much from reading here. Helps me to remember what I'm doing. I have been lucky not to lose everything. I was a once a week, once a month sort of gal. And I could not get in trouble nine out of ten drinking episodes. But the kicker was I didn't know which episode would be the horrendously awful one. It was like playing Russian Roulette with my life. Scary stuff. Just thinking about it gives me the Willies. Thanks for being here all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 253
Good morning.
winslow - yesterday wasn't too bad. I indulged myself in the morning and let myself binge watch some videos on youtube about alcoholics. I have not been as bad as some of those people but I can see how easy it is to get there. I tried to have a bit of a sleep in the afternoon before getting the kids and then we had tea and football until late. I actually slept quite well last night.
Dee - thank you again for your continued support. You take so much time to respond to everyone and it doesn't go unnoticed!
For those who don't know me, I've been on a few class of boards. I've been struggling with alcohol since I had my first drink at around 17 years old. Things were at their worst about 10 years ago before I had my younger 2 boys. Having 2 pregnancies close together gave me time to see that I could live without drinking and I could cope but still I enjoy getting drunk (until the morning after of course!) and every few months I will have a relapse. I think I will be ok but something happens when I drink. My partner says I just turn into this horrible lying deceiving person and all I can think is how can I stay drunk. I'll do anything once I get to that point to prevent having to sober up.
I was part of the April board and had a couple of nights out where I had a drink but that's all it was, a drink out with friends. This week I drank during the day and it could have affected my kids and I am devastated and completely ashamed. It was a full blown flashback to when I was really bad. I don't drink daily - didn't even back then. It's always massive binges which could just be one night or could have last for days. Luckily this time I managed to stop myself and it didn't last longer than a day.
Right now on top of the guilt and shame I am feeling fearful. It's scary how easily I can talk myself into thinking it's ok and I can handle it.
winslow - yesterday wasn't too bad. I indulged myself in the morning and let myself binge watch some videos on youtube about alcoholics. I have not been as bad as some of those people but I can see how easy it is to get there. I tried to have a bit of a sleep in the afternoon before getting the kids and then we had tea and football until late. I actually slept quite well last night.
Dee - thank you again for your continued support. You take so much time to respond to everyone and it doesn't go unnoticed!
For those who don't know me, I've been on a few class of boards. I've been struggling with alcohol since I had my first drink at around 17 years old. Things were at their worst about 10 years ago before I had my younger 2 boys. Having 2 pregnancies close together gave me time to see that I could live without drinking and I could cope but still I enjoy getting drunk (until the morning after of course!) and every few months I will have a relapse. I think I will be ok but something happens when I drink. My partner says I just turn into this horrible lying deceiving person and all I can think is how can I stay drunk. I'll do anything once I get to that point to prevent having to sober up.
I was part of the April board and had a couple of nights out where I had a drink but that's all it was, a drink out with friends. This week I drank during the day and it could have affected my kids and I am devastated and completely ashamed. It was a full blown flashback to when I was really bad. I don't drink daily - didn't even back then. It's always massive binges which could just be one night or could have last for days. Luckily this time I managed to stop myself and it didn't last longer than a day.
Right now on top of the guilt and shame I am feeling fearful. It's scary how easily I can talk myself into thinking it's ok and I can handle it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hello friends, Irishish,I went from daily drinker to binge drinking and I actually think the binge drinking is worse,of course they're both terrible but the amount that I can slam during a binge is scary! I've thought of it being Russian roulette many times and you're right, it is scary, Charlie, glad you managed some self care yesterday and made it through day 1
I had a sobriety meaning dream last night,there was this beautiful shiny blue crystal in my brain twinkling,it told me I could stay sober this time,how weird is that? You guys probably think I'm a weirdo hippy,I'm not I don't even know where that dream came from but I'm taking it as a positive sign hope everyone has a nice AF Thursday
I had a sobriety meaning dream last night,there was this beautiful shiny blue crystal in my brain twinkling,it told me I could stay sober this time,how weird is that? You guys probably think I'm a weirdo hippy,I'm not I don't even know where that dream came from but I'm taking it as a positive sign hope everyone has a nice AF Thursday
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 110
Good morning! Happy Thursday! Checking in...today is my first "real" counseling session and I'm super excited to begin this process. It's the first time I'm reaching outside the virtual world for help. I will have to pay out of pocket until January when I switch to an in-network insurance...so I won't be able to go as frequently as I would like...but something is better than nothing. I tried to find a good place for help earlier this year and was utterly defeated because literally no one accepted my insurance!
charliesworld, it's great to see you here too!
Winslow, I'd love to have a dream about a shiny blue crystal twinkling in my brain! That sounds beautifully positive!
charliesworld, it's great to see you here too!
Winslow, I'd love to have a dream about a shiny blue crystal twinkling in my brain! That sounds beautifully positive!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Hi Hewson, I not sure what day 3 of p90x entails, but ending the night by reading your Kindle sure sounds a lot better than ending up in bed passed out/blacked out!
I now really enjoy unwinding in bed by reading before going to sleep, knowing that I don't have to fear the dreaded "awakening jolt" at around 2 or 3am (sometimes even earlier still) and then all chaos setting in. Literally uttering the words "Help me!" at those times is still fresh in my memory.
Well, day 18 seems all but over and I'm still very grateful to be here. Looking forward to Friday and a great sober weekend with (and to) all of you!
I now really enjoy unwinding in bed by reading before going to sleep, knowing that I don't have to fear the dreaded "awakening jolt" at around 2 or 3am (sometimes even earlier still) and then all chaos setting in. Literally uttering the words "Help me!" at those times is still fresh in my memory.
Well, day 18 seems all but over and I'm still very grateful to be here. Looking forward to Friday and a great sober weekend with (and to) all of you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 7
Hey classmates! Glad to hear everyone is doing pretty good.
Day 5 here, and I would wrestle a greased monkey for a drink (insert simpsonsmonkeyknifefight.jpg), but I think I've gone through the worst of the immediate withdrawals and I'm not in a hurry to do that again!
Freedomhorse, congrats on your appointment! I hope it goes well. Finding help can be difficult, to say the least.
Day 5 here, and I would wrestle a greased monkey for a drink (insert simpsonsmonkeyknifefight.jpg), but I think I've gone through the worst of the immediate withdrawals and I'm not in a hurry to do that again!
Freedomhorse, congrats on your appointment! I hope it goes well. Finding help can be difficult, to say the least.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by teaorcoffee 
Dinner out with friends - excuses ready if I needed them, but everyone was in the same place, not drinking for various reasons. It was easier than I thought it would be.
South Asian
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 121
Hello All. Hope everyone has a fun weekend. I am still sober. Almost 50 days. This is a challenging time for me. When the bad memories have faded, and the joy of drinking has a strong pull. These are the days when I make a meticulous plan to just drink for three or four days, 20 units a day. Just as a kind of reward. I will start at noon, stop at 1.30 pm, re-start at 7 pm and stop at 9. I even plan what liquor I am going to drink. These are the days when a life completely without liquor seems a depressing prospect. Let's try and get through this weekend. Take care everyone.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'm really pleased to hear you're still sober.
I found after a while that, even when I was feeling good, it was just impossible for me to rationalise away my drinking anymore.
I clearly had a problem.
It wasn't until I got here to SR tho, that I learned that it's the first drink that brings me undone - not the last.
Once I accepted that, it was hard to believe I still had any real measure of control.
If I started drinking again I might drink for a week, or a month...or I might never stop.
I finally decided I wanted to live, I wanted to fulfill my potential and I couldn't take that risk anymore.
D
I found after a while that, even when I was feeling good, it was just impossible for me to rationalise away my drinking anymore.
I clearly had a problem.
It wasn't until I got here to SR tho, that I learned that it's the first drink that brings me undone - not the last.
Once I accepted that, it was hard to believe I still had any real measure of control.
If I started drinking again I might drink for a week, or a month...or I might never stop.
I finally decided I wanted to live, I wanted to fulfill my potential and I couldn't take that risk anymore.
D
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