Class of September 2016 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
After nearly dying horribly I lost my wife, 2 adult sons- who disowned me. I lost my career and financial security. I lost the right to exist in a place I chose in a home I helped built. I was nearly homeless. I nearly died again being in a very hellish living space. I lost my self respect- what I had. What's the point?
Life. Trying. Fighting the black dog.
There is always a point.
Life. Trying. Fighting the black dog.
There is always a point.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
But if you go back to alcohol won't you just end up back at the point that bought you here to SR SSOH...or worse?
I understand you *fear* you may lose your commissioned work...but how likely is that?
D
I understand you *fear* you may lose your commissioned work...but how likely is that?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Bucks County, PA
Posts: 56
Yesterday and today (Days 43 and 44) were by FAR the toughest days I've faced since getting sober.
Hubby and I had planned a day off today to "celebrate" the election of Hillary Clinton as out new president. Well, y'all know how that went. Instead of a jubilant celebration, we watched first in discomfort, and then in horror, as Trump's numbers continued to rise, and then he was declared our President elect.
I couldn't even try to get to bed until after 4am, and the thought of drinking was SCREAMING at me. Thankfully, I haven't had any beer in the house since Day 1, and wine/hard liquor has never had any appeal to me, so I used music, videogames and deep breathing to push through.
Today, we still took the day off, but used it as a day of rest and contemplation. I slept half of the day away, but my mind and body desperately needed some "quiet" time, and it served me very well.
Most of all, I'm thrilled to report that the AV lost, and my sobriety won. I couldn't be more thankful for that.
Hubby and I had planned a day off today to "celebrate" the election of Hillary Clinton as out new president. Well, y'all know how that went. Instead of a jubilant celebration, we watched first in discomfort, and then in horror, as Trump's numbers continued to rise, and then he was declared our President elect.
I couldn't even try to get to bed until after 4am, and the thought of drinking was SCREAMING at me. Thankfully, I haven't had any beer in the house since Day 1, and wine/hard liquor has never had any appeal to me, so I used music, videogames and deep breathing to push through.
Today, we still took the day off, but used it as a day of rest and contemplation. I slept half of the day away, but my mind and body desperately needed some "quiet" time, and it served me very well.
Most of all, I'm thrilled to report that the AV lost, and my sobriety won. I couldn't be more thankful for that.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Good morning folks.
SSOH hang in there! Bobquin I know how you feel and I'm Canadian! The implications of this election are global. Good for you for staying strong.
Well, it's here - day 21. I've crashed and burned on both my previous day 21's. But not this time. Not today! I have accepted that sobriety is not a temporary thing "for now" but my new life. I am committed to checking in here if AV starts weighing in.
Have a good one everyone
SSOH hang in there! Bobquin I know how you feel and I'm Canadian! The implications of this election are global. Good for you for staying strong.
Well, it's here - day 21. I've crashed and burned on both my previous day 21's. But not this time. Not today! I have accepted that sobriety is not a temporary thing "for now" but my new life. I am committed to checking in here if AV starts weighing in.
Have a good one everyone
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Still here, weird weather- intense 30 minute thunder/hail storm. Sober, not happy today- I guess it would be strange if I was not sad given div. stuff. Grateful to be sober. I was so close to death a year ago. Thoughts and prayers. Cravings suck- distract peoples- post here- lots. Watch doco's, there is good AA speaker stuff on utube- I listened to one the other day by a bloke called Clancy I. Do anything but drink.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Good morning folks.
Day 22! First time I can say that
I have to say that this was a much easier day 21 than the previous two. I was in two social situations where I would previously have been drinking but didn't even think about it. I have a few aces up my sleeve this time around:
Ok, so those last two are ego driven, but if it ain't broke don't fix it!
Have a good one everyone.
Day 22! First time I can say that
I have to say that this was a much easier day 21 than the previous two. I was in two social situations where I would previously have been drinking but didn't even think about it. I have a few aces up my sleeve this time around:- I have accepted that sobriety is my new life
- I've realized how nice it is to go to bed and wake up clear headed without "low energy" (read hungover) days
- I no longer wake up worrying about if I made an a$$ out of myself at social functions
- I no longer have to worry about last minute plans to see my granddaughter because I don't want to be "drunk Grandma" around her
- I no longer panic about having to drive somewhere later in the day
- I've lost my little pot belly with no effort - clearly it was all booze - and my clothes fit better
- My daughter told me the other day how good I look lately - skin, etc.
Ok, so those last two are ego driven, but if it ain't broke don't fix it!
Have a good one everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Hels -good 4 U. Robert P- jeez he was so cool for about 20 minutes (great voice). Apt - thinking about that- the song remains the same- does with drinking. Sobriety offers so much more. I salute thee Hels, ave!
F*** the Zero
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: London
Posts: 410
well done everyone. I trust youre all mainly American or live near by, so the election must have been stressful.
interesting times for sure but getting drunk wont make anything better but add to your stresses.
interesting times for sure but getting drunk wont make anything better but add to your stresses.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: uk
Posts: 60
Well it is 50 days sober for me and looking back I cannot believe just how far I have progressed. Just over 7 weeks ago I was staggering around on a holiday island after 7 days crazy drinking, calling loved ones and threatening to kill myself. My work was suffering, I had split up with my lovely girlfriend, I was not the greatest dad, years earlier my wife had divorced me through my appalling drink fuelled behaviour.
On Friday 23rd September I woke up and realised that things had to change, I had lost count of the times I had woken up in the past and told myself I am quitting and once even went a month without drinking. However this time I knew I was in last chance saloon and after reviewing the previous nights drunken texts with shock, horror but most of all shame, I promised myself that I needed to do this not just for my kids but most importantly for me.
On Sat 24th September I called my ex-wife and asked her if she could go to my house and clear it of alcohol. I told her the cupboards to check and some of the secret stashes and I returned back from holiday to a alcohol free house - well almost over the course of the next week I did find half drunk bottles and cans of beer in the strangest of places!!
To cut a long story short I have sobered up, become far sharper at work, started to rebuild relationships and those that I have hurt, decided to become fit and have already lost nearly 2 Stone. Taken up playing tennis , enjoying walking and most importantly really, really enjoying spending time with my kids again as opposed to just enjoying having them each weekend but also finding them frustrating as they hindered my drinking.
Has it been tough? - The first few days I was so shameful of my behaviour it was easy. 2 weeks ago I had really bad cravings but got through it. Throughout my 50 days, although not posting as much as I should, I have used this Forum for help and inspiration and have drawn massive positivity and resolve by reading peoples posts.
Crikey this has been a ramble but for the first time in as long as I can remember I can actually look forward. 50 days ticked off and now for the next 50...
Have a great weekend everyone - and thank you, you don't realise how much you have helped me and can't believe that I have become quite emotional typing this.
Rob
On Friday 23rd September I woke up and realised that things had to change, I had lost count of the times I had woken up in the past and told myself I am quitting and once even went a month without drinking. However this time I knew I was in last chance saloon and after reviewing the previous nights drunken texts with shock, horror but most of all shame, I promised myself that I needed to do this not just for my kids but most importantly for me.
On Sat 24th September I called my ex-wife and asked her if she could go to my house and clear it of alcohol. I told her the cupboards to check and some of the secret stashes and I returned back from holiday to a alcohol free house - well almost over the course of the next week I did find half drunk bottles and cans of beer in the strangest of places!!
To cut a long story short I have sobered up, become far sharper at work, started to rebuild relationships and those that I have hurt, decided to become fit and have already lost nearly 2 Stone. Taken up playing tennis , enjoying walking and most importantly really, really enjoying spending time with my kids again as opposed to just enjoying having them each weekend but also finding them frustrating as they hindered my drinking.
Has it been tough? - The first few days I was so shameful of my behaviour it was easy. 2 weeks ago I had really bad cravings but got through it. Throughout my 50 days, although not posting as much as I should, I have used this Forum for help and inspiration and have drawn massive positivity and resolve by reading peoples posts.
Crikey this has been a ramble but for the first time in as long as I can remember I can actually look forward. 50 days ticked off and now for the next 50...
Have a great weekend everyone - and thank you, you don't realise how much you have helped me and can't believe that I have become quite emotional typing this.
Rob
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Good morning folks.
Rob, what an inspirational story - I got emotional reading it! I am so impressed with all you have accomplished. I would bet that your kids see the difference and are loving having their authentic dad in their lives. As a mom I'll bet your ex-wife is happy with the changes too as it improves the kids' lives.
I can really relate to wanting to be done with a situation so that you can drink. There are many times where I would be visiting with my daughter and granddaughter where this was happening. That is one of the many reasons behind why I quit drinking. I had an appt with a new specialist yesterday who asked if I drink. I told him that I did but that I quit two months ago. We talked about that for a bit (he agreed I was drinking "a bit much" lol) and he asked if I miss it. I said no not really, and then realized that this is the truth. As I was driving home I thought "I can't wait to get home and make a cup of tea" (ok, a cup of tea and a couple of leftover halloween chocolates lol). Then I realized that I would normally have wanted to get home to crack open a bottle of wine, yet that hadn't even occured to me.
I also take a lot of strength from checking in here daily, and I find myself cheering everyone on when they post their numbers and sending virtual hugs when I see folks struggling. I am so proud of all of us in this group!
Have a good one everyone.
Rob, what an inspirational story - I got emotional reading it! I am so impressed with all you have accomplished. I would bet that your kids see the difference and are loving having their authentic dad in their lives. As a mom I'll bet your ex-wife is happy with the changes too as it improves the kids' lives.
I can really relate to wanting to be done with a situation so that you can drink. There are many times where I would be visiting with my daughter and granddaughter where this was happening. That is one of the many reasons behind why I quit drinking. I had an appt with a new specialist yesterday who asked if I drink. I told him that I did but that I quit two months ago. We talked about that for a bit (he agreed I was drinking "a bit much" lol) and he asked if I miss it. I said no not really, and then realized that this is the truth. As I was driving home I thought "I can't wait to get home and make a cup of tea" (ok, a cup of tea and a couple of leftover halloween chocolates lol). Then I realized that I would normally have wanted to get home to crack open a bottle of wine, yet that hadn't even occured to me.
I also take a lot of strength from checking in here daily, and I find myself cheering everyone on when they post their numbers and sending virtual hugs when I see folks struggling. I am so proud of all of us in this group!
Have a good one everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 269
This is the sort of time where I would relapse, it's just coming up to 9pm, I don't really have anything to do and have money on me. So many times I've gone out and got some beer and then went home and stuck some music on and thought the next day 'I shouldn't have done that'.
Boredom obviously had a part to play in all this for me.
Boredom obviously had a part to play in all this for me.
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