Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 6
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
I think I'm going to the count-down instead of the count-up.
The reason for this, is that I set my first goal at 90 days. And I've read from Dee and many others, within reason of course, that things can really start to fall into place and shape up in the 90 day range. I know it's jus the beginning, but you have set goals and allow for a feeling of accomplishment.
Plus, it's just nice big whole number. 90
This morning I thought, 25 more to go, really, that seem long. Then I broke it down. Heck, I've doubled that and more. This will be cake!
So, here goes......25 more to go!
The reason for this, is that I set my first goal at 90 days. And I've read from Dee and many others, within reason of course, that things can really start to fall into place and shape up in the 90 day range. I know it's jus the beginning, but you have set goals and allow for a feeling of accomplishment.
Plus, it's just nice big whole number. 90
This morning I thought, 25 more to go, really, that seem long. Then I broke it down. Heck, I've doubled that and more. This will be cake!
So, here goes......25 more to go!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Western US
Posts: 1,765
Thank you everyone for the wishes to feel better. It must have helped as I feel mostly normal today.
I can relate to your analogy Mr. P about the marathon and like it and relate. The first word that comes to mind when I read it is "Balance" which I have been searching for for years. Albeit for many years I was looking for it in a bottle. Never found it under the cap or in the bottom of the bottle either.
I do believe I am finding it now in sobriety. The two biggest areas I recognize that I need to work on are being comfortable with boredom and taking time to rest. I want to learn that doing next to nothing is really doing something and it's okay.
Hope everyone has a good day.
I can relate to your analogy Mr. P about the marathon and like it and relate. The first word that comes to mind when I read it is "Balance" which I have been searching for for years. Albeit for many years I was looking for it in a bottle. Never found it under the cap or in the bottom of the bottle either.
I do believe I am finding it now in sobriety. The two biggest areas I recognize that I need to work on are being comfortable with boredom and taking time to rest. I want to learn that doing next to nothing is really doing something and it's okay.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Loving the discussion guys!
@NT - it s weird how similar AVs work, I swear mine also says "let s complicate things a bit, this it too boring". I am also thinking about my next mark, but this will be day 98, which is more than my record of 97! Not long to go now.
@Quincy - balance is indeed the key. I got to this conclusion years ago when quitting coke, and actually finding balance temporarily is not that difficult, the art is in maintaining it. I m hoping long term sobriety will help, seems to be one of the key elements to a balanced life for me.
Hope everyone else is well, A-teamers that have been away for a while, please let us know you are ok.
Mr P
@NT - it s weird how similar AVs work, I swear mine also says "let s complicate things a bit, this it too boring". I am also thinking about my next mark, but this will be day 98, which is more than my record of 97! Not long to go now.
@Quincy - balance is indeed the key. I got to this conclusion years ago when quitting coke, and actually finding balance temporarily is not that difficult, the art is in maintaining it. I m hoping long term sobriety will help, seems to be one of the key elements to a balanced life for me.
Hope everyone else is well, A-teamers that have been away for a while, please let us know you are ok.
Mr P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 46
Yay in a mere 8 and a half hours I will have 60 days! I feel really excited about that. 
I am so grateful and looking forward to another day sober. I cannot emphasize enough how important you guys and SR in general have been to helping me in my achievements. Love to all and as always We got this A-Team!!!
I am so grateful and looking forward to another day sober. I cannot emphasize enough how important you guys and SR in general have been to helping me in my achievements. Love to all and as always We got this A-Team!!! 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
This is good insight guys. I understand and can relate to your analogy P. It's not surprising as alcoholics and addicts we can express our thought process and instantly we relate to another's struggle. Ah the elusive beauty of balance. It's ideal but to us can feel boring because we miss the drama and excitement and the bargaining we employ to keep it alive. I totally agree with striving to become comfortable in the moment even if it seems dull. Life, moods, circumstances and people are always changing so it won't stay ho hum for long. Nothing like some good family chaos to satisfy that excitement quota and I can always count on that draining experience which makes me relish the calm after the storm. Quincy glad you are feeling better. Hang in there guys.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Nashville
Posts: 326
Hello all. Loving the discussions.
Figured I'd share a story of an experience I had today...
I was getting ready for work and had just flushed the toilet and was washing my hands. While the toilet was flushing, I heard a strange gurgling noise coming from it. Shortly after, the toilet LID started rattling and shaking. I thought to myself "Oh God, it's about to overflow." I figured the water had gotten SO high that it was causing the lid to rattle. So I go to open the lid, and just before I open it, a SQUIRREL...yes, a LIVE SQUIRREL pops out of the toilet bowl soaking wet, halfway still in the bowl, halfway perched on the rim. My heart shot through my throat, I screamed, ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door.
Guys. A squirrel.... a squirrel came out of my toilet. It WAS IN THE PIPES. What if I had still been sitting on it?!
Anyways... for a brief second I considered the fact that I'm hallucinating or maybe have just completely lost all sanity. But no. It was real. After a few minutes, I gathered some courage and took pictures of it curled in the corner of my bathroom. (I don't know how to post them here or else I would)
It finally ended with myself and the animal control guy locked inside my tiny bathroom and him trying to catch this squirrel. The squirrel was jumping and climbing and flying ALL OVER the place while I screamed and stood on the bathtub ledge. I eventually had to go into a different room before I had a heart attack.
Long story short, the squirrel was captured and has been released back into his natural habitat. I LOVE squirrels, but not when they come through the toilet.
Figured I'd share a story of an experience I had today...
I was getting ready for work and had just flushed the toilet and was washing my hands. While the toilet was flushing, I heard a strange gurgling noise coming from it. Shortly after, the toilet LID started rattling and shaking. I thought to myself "Oh God, it's about to overflow." I figured the water had gotten SO high that it was causing the lid to rattle. So I go to open the lid, and just before I open it, a SQUIRREL...yes, a LIVE SQUIRREL pops out of the toilet bowl soaking wet, halfway still in the bowl, halfway perched on the rim. My heart shot through my throat, I screamed, ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door.
Guys. A squirrel.... a squirrel came out of my toilet. It WAS IN THE PIPES. What if I had still been sitting on it?!
Anyways... for a brief second I considered the fact that I'm hallucinating or maybe have just completely lost all sanity. But no. It was real. After a few minutes, I gathered some courage and took pictures of it curled in the corner of my bathroom. (I don't know how to post them here or else I would)
It finally ended with myself and the animal control guy locked inside my tiny bathroom and him trying to catch this squirrel. The squirrel was jumping and climbing and flying ALL OVER the place while I screamed and stood on the bathtub ledge. I eventually had to go into a different room before I had a heart attack.
Long story short, the squirrel was captured and has been released back into his natural habitat. I LOVE squirrels, but not when they come through the toilet.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Ohio
Posts: 420
Findec -
I feel you with the whole dating and closure thing. I've been on my own 5 years now (hard to believe) and have dated on and off (mostly off). In large part this is due to my schedule - I am either working or have my kids. This is good so that i'm off when I have the kids, but not too conducive to dating. But a large part of it is also wondering "what if" and not being able to totally let someone go. So I go into anything half-heartedly. I'm one that's pretty good on her own, so I try not to worry about that aspect of my future too much. I'm sorry for your sadness and disappointment. Hang in there.
I feel you with the whole dating and closure thing. I've been on my own 5 years now (hard to believe) and have dated on and off (mostly off). In large part this is due to my schedule - I am either working or have my kids. This is good so that i'm off when I have the kids, but not too conducive to dating. But a large part of it is also wondering "what if" and not being able to totally let someone go. So I go into anything half-heartedly. I'm one that's pretty good on her own, so I try not to worry about that aspect of my future too much. I'm sorry for your sadness and disappointment. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Julia - I say let go. Be yourself, your new self, have fun, it may or it may not become something, but over time your happiness will shine and inevitably the right things will happen sooner or later.
And welcome Brenda! This is the A-team, lots of awesome people here. Congrats on 60 days!
P
And welcome Brenda! This is the A-team, lots of awesome people here. Congrats on 60 days!
P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
Day 69. Went to the interview this morning. I feel that it went very well. So now I will wait and see. It's amazing how much different I handled myself on this interview as opposed to my last one (still drinking then). My self confidence was level, and I know I look so much better now, even after only 69 days.....it makes a difference. I have kept my higher power at the front line of all of this and I'm way OK if this doesn't pan out....Heck! I still have my Dick's Sporting Goods gig going full strength. It's funny, the SO has never known me as a "non-drinker" as we have been together just going on 10 years, heck, we met in a beer joint. YIPES! gonna be late for AA...gotta go.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by Julia8 
Findec -
I feel you with the whole dating and closure thing. I've been on my own 5 years now (hard to believe) and have dated on and off (mostly off). In large part this is due to my schedule - I am either working or have my kids. This is good so that i'm off when I have the kids, but not too conducive to dating. But a large part of it is also wondering "what if" and not being able to totally let someone go. So I go into anything half-heartedly. I'm one that's pretty good on her own, so I try not to worry about that aspect of my future too much. I'm sorry for your sadness and disappointment. Hang in there.
I feel you with the whole dating and closure thing. I've been on my own 5 years now (hard to believe) and have dated on and off (mostly off). In large part this is due to my schedule - I am either working or have my kids. This is good so that i'm off when I have the kids, but not too conducive to dating. But a large part of it is also wondering "what if" and not being able to totally let someone go. So I go into anything half-heartedly. I'm one that's pretty good on her own, so I try not to worry about that aspect of my future too much. I'm sorry for your sadness and disappointment. Hang in there.
I think alot of it is trust. See I always thought I didn't trust the woman but in fact it was me who was insecure and didn't trust myself. I guess it goes back to that one must love one's self before one can TRULY love another. I need to realize that the past is the past. Let it go. Enjoy this ride. That way I can accept a new relationship. I have no intentions of rushing things tho. I wont make that mistake , but it does get lonely. lol For now I will just accept what this journey is , and where it takes me is where I need to be. I have a strong sense that in time I will obtain a meaningful relationship. Thats a future goal anyway. But whatever happens, happens. I will need to be able to deal with the outcome whatever it be. (SOBER lol) You probably understand and the people here more then group here more then I can explain. lol
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Feeling pretty crummy.
I got my ASS handed to me when I was struggling to quit drinking and came to this forum to vent my confusion and frustration. I never saw a single warning to those other people. Now, me, when I am blunt and tell people what I'm thinking, I get an influx of moderators telling people to block me and tell me to move on, I've even had my posts removed!
They say it helps to try to help others but I do that and I offend people. That would be completely fine if anyone had ever been chastised for upsetting me. It was to the point I said I was never coming back here because of the sarcasm and condescension I was receiving, and though a few nice people did tell me to ignore it and not go, I certainly never had a moderator warning the people who were offending me.
I got my ASS handed to me when I was struggling to quit drinking and came to this forum to vent my confusion and frustration. I never saw a single warning to those other people. Now, me, when I am blunt and tell people what I'm thinking, I get an influx of moderators telling people to block me and tell me to move on, I've even had my posts removed!
They say it helps to try to help others but I do that and I offend people. That would be completely fine if anyone had ever been chastised for upsetting me. It was to the point I said I was never coming back here because of the sarcasm and condescension I was receiving, and though a few nice people did tell me to ignore it and not go, I certainly never had a moderator warning the people who were offending me.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
I'm in a house full of booze, live across the street from a bar, I know nobody who understands alcoholism, or gets me, and I'm even blowing it here.
Sobriety hasn't made that much difference. I'm the same lonely place.
Sobriety hasn't made that much difference. I'm the same lonely place.
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