Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 6
Day 65 here. Gotta go to work in a few. Today is "game face training" (Dick's Sporting Goods), whatever that is. No worries, it's starting to look like engineering opportunities are coming back slowly. Got an interview this Thursday for a Welding Engineer position, locally. Could be a great thing, we'll see. Funny thing is, as I have been doing my daily walk, I use the time to pray and meditate. Some of the things I pray about are materializing. I don't pray for a lot, mostly just to help me think clearly and find peace in life at whatever place it's at. So, I feel good. I'm told I look good too. So, I hope everybody can find some peace. I pray for the Colts, who will be devastated later this evening when the Texans kick the, well, you know, out of them. We are still a group. Life can be good if we allow it, but we have to allow it.
treebeard - Congrats on your promotion! And hey, in my opinion, giving in to that Diet Dr. Pepper craving is a lot better than giving into the beer. Very nice.
kgirl - So glad you shared your realization! And your analogy with the "piece of chicken..take it or leave it" thing made perfect sense. Also I have been getting back into reading lately too. what kind of stuff do you like to read?
cwood- Let us know how the interview goes. That is awesome.
*****
In other news, I went to another show (live music..ie concert) by myself tonight. It was super magical. And once again, I did not have to drink. When the band was starting, however, these really really drunk, obnoxious girls got there and sat to the left of me. I cannot even begin to describe how annoyed I was by them. I would *like* to think that I never acted like that while drunk, but honestly who knows lol. All I know is that I drove myself around the whole night and have made it safely back home... and I will wake up tomorrow hangover free.
Goodnight everyone. Yall help keep me sane...
kgirl - So glad you shared your realization! And your analogy with the "piece of chicken..take it or leave it" thing made perfect sense. Also I have been getting back into reading lately too. what kind of stuff do you like to read?
cwood- Let us know how the interview goes. That is awesome.
*****
In other news, I went to another show (live music..ie concert) by myself tonight. It was super magical. And once again, I did not have to drink. When the band was starting, however, these really really drunk, obnoxious girls got there and sat to the left of me. I cannot even begin to describe how annoyed I was by them. I would *like* to think that I never acted like that while drunk, but honestly who knows lol. All I know is that I drove myself around the whole night and have made it safely back home... and I will wake up tomorrow hangover free.
Goodnight everyone. Yall help keep me sane...
treebeard - Congrats on your promotion! And hey, in my opinion, giving in to that Diet Dr. Pepper craving is a lot better than giving into the beer. Very nice.
kgirl - So glad you shared your realization! And your analogy with the "piece of chicken..take it or leave it" thing made perfect sense. Also I have been getting back into reading lately too. what kind of stuff do you like to read?
cwood- Let us know how the interview goes. That is awesome.
*****
In other news, I went to another show (live music..ie concert) by myself tonight. It was super magical. And once again, I did not have to drink. When the band was starting, however, these really really drunk, obnoxious girls got there and sat to the left of me. I cannot even begin to describe how annoyed I was by them. I would *like* to think that I never acted like that while drunk, but honestly who knows lol. All I know is that I drove myself around the whole night and have made it safely back home... and I will wake up tomorrow hangover free.
Goodnight everyone. Yall help keep me sane...
kgirl - So glad you shared your realization! And your analogy with the "piece of chicken..take it or leave it" thing made perfect sense. Also I have been getting back into reading lately too. what kind of stuff do you like to read?
cwood- Let us know how the interview goes. That is awesome.
*****
In other news, I went to another show (live music..ie concert) by myself tonight. It was super magical. And once again, I did not have to drink. When the band was starting, however, these really really drunk, obnoxious girls got there and sat to the left of me. I cannot even begin to describe how annoyed I was by them. I would *like* to think that I never acted like that while drunk, but honestly who knows lol. All I know is that I drove myself around the whole night and have made it safely back home... and I will wake up tomorrow hangover free.
Goodnight everyone. Yall help keep me sane...
How about you?
Hi everyone. Morning of day 67 here. Yeah CP I just want to sleep when I think about what I've done. I'm really happy I did, though, and grateful for the opportunity. And, very grateful to be home now. And guys, I'm sober! All of these little ways I used to accommodate for drinking, when making plans, when thinking about plans, I am not doing that. There is a lot less drama around here: I feel ridiculous yelling and screaming and feeling sorry for myself about things I can't control, like the dog knocking a glass of water over.
I turn 40 this year, a few days after Christmas. We spent hours yesterday planning a birthday road trip vacation for me, my gf, and the dog to go cross country skiing after a Christmas visit to my gf's family. Then we planned a thanksgiving camping trip, just us again. We got a cabin next to a national forest and will go hiking every day and make thanksgiving dinner on a BBQ!
I love my friends back home, but I have real concerns about drinking still. That will be a test. I'm taking the advice I've gotten here and am holding off until I'm really confident with sobriety to go home and face my old identity. I was last there nine days before I quit drinking for good. My friends I stayed with go to bed at nine, much too early for drunk me, so I'd drive up to the town pub and everyone makes a big deal out of me, buys me drinks, I get hammered, get booze to go, drive to a place where I can be alone, drink till I see double, brown out, wake up at my friend's house with my car somehow in the driveway. Lay there and put the pieces together till I remember that I really did drive back, and got there safely. This is my nightly routine at my hometown. I'm quite sure no one knows the whole story; I compartmentalize it. My friend doesn't know I get a tall beer to drink in the car on my way to her house, but does know about wine with dinner. I drink way more than her. She knows I go out after but doesn't know I probably have at least 3-4 drinks at the pub, and definitely doesn't know about the booze afterward. My friends there don't know about the booze before and after. So it's this kind of twisted thing where I think my friends and family would be surprised to see me say "I'm an alcoholic" and I am sure I don't have the ability to navigate that right now. So, it's cheaper and more fun to go on a holiday hiking trip, and see my gf's family. She has a niece who is all into Santa and that's fun.
So it feels good to be planning firmly to be sober. I've learned here to hold onto sobriety like your life depends on it (it does) and protect it. So that's what I'm doing. Also instead of sliding in at the last minute, I'm actually making plans.
I downloaded a bunch of books to my kindle recently. One was "The Girl On The Train" which is popular right now I guess. Anyway I've thought that I've been reading it for a few days now. I've been waiting to figure out how the title pertains. Well it turns out I was reading "Lit" by Mary Karr. This struck me as hilarious. I've told a few people I've been reading "The Girl On The Train" so now I better get cracking on it.
Back to work this week. I hope you all have a great day/week. I'm so thankful for all of you.
B
I turn 40 this year, a few days after Christmas. We spent hours yesterday planning a birthday road trip vacation for me, my gf, and the dog to go cross country skiing after a Christmas visit to my gf's family. Then we planned a thanksgiving camping trip, just us again. We got a cabin next to a national forest and will go hiking every day and make thanksgiving dinner on a BBQ!
I love my friends back home, but I have real concerns about drinking still. That will be a test. I'm taking the advice I've gotten here and am holding off until I'm really confident with sobriety to go home and face my old identity. I was last there nine days before I quit drinking for good. My friends I stayed with go to bed at nine, much too early for drunk me, so I'd drive up to the town pub and everyone makes a big deal out of me, buys me drinks, I get hammered, get booze to go, drive to a place where I can be alone, drink till I see double, brown out, wake up at my friend's house with my car somehow in the driveway. Lay there and put the pieces together till I remember that I really did drive back, and got there safely. This is my nightly routine at my hometown. I'm quite sure no one knows the whole story; I compartmentalize it. My friend doesn't know I get a tall beer to drink in the car on my way to her house, but does know about wine with dinner. I drink way more than her. She knows I go out after but doesn't know I probably have at least 3-4 drinks at the pub, and definitely doesn't know about the booze afterward. My friends there don't know about the booze before and after. So it's this kind of twisted thing where I think my friends and family would be surprised to see me say "I'm an alcoholic" and I am sure I don't have the ability to navigate that right now. So, it's cheaper and more fun to go on a holiday hiking trip, and see my gf's family. She has a niece who is all into Santa and that's fun.
So it feels good to be planning firmly to be sober. I've learned here to hold onto sobriety like your life depends on it (it does) and protect it. So that's what I'm doing. Also instead of sliding in at the last minute, I'm actually making plans.
I downloaded a bunch of books to my kindle recently. One was "The Girl On The Train" which is popular right now I guess. Anyway I've thought that I've been reading it for a few days now. I've been waiting to figure out how the title pertains. Well it turns out I was reading "Lit" by Mary Karr. This struck me as hilarious. I've told a few people I've been reading "The Girl On The Train" so now I better get cracking on it.
Back to work this week. I hope you all have a great day/week. I'm so thankful for all of you.
B
Hi everyone. Morning of day 67 here. Yeah CP I just want to sleep when I think about what I've done. I'm really happy I did, though, and grateful for the opportunity. And, very grateful to be home now. And guys, I'm sober! All of these little ways I used to accommodate for drinking, when making plans, when thinking about plans, I am not doing that. There is a lot less drama around here: I feel ridiculous yelling and screaming and feeling sorry for myself about things I can't control, like the dog knocking a glass of water over.
I turn 40 this year, a few days after Christmas. We spent hours yesterday planning a birthday road trip vacation for me, my gf, and the dog to go cross country skiing after a Christmas visit to my gf's family. Then we planned a thanksgiving camping trip, just us again. We got a cabin next to a national forest and will go hiking every day and make thanksgiving dinner on a BBQ!
I love my friends back home, but I have real concerns about drinking still. That will be a test. I'm taking the advice I've gotten here and am holding off until I'm really confident with sobriety to go home and face my old identity. I was last there nine days before I quit drinking for good. My friends I stayed with go to bed at nine, much too early for drunk me, so I'd drive up to the town pub and everyone makes a big deal out of me, buys me drinks, I get hammered, get booze to go, drive to a place where I can be alone, drink till I see double, brown out, wake up at my friend's house with my car somehow in the driveway. Lay there and put the pieces together till I remember that I really did drive back, and got there safely. This is my nightly routine at my hometown. I'm quite sure no one knows the whole story; I compartmentalize it. My friend doesn't know I get a tall beer to drink in the car on my way to her house, but does know about wine with dinner. I drink way more than her. She knows I go out after but doesn't know I probably have at least 3-4 drinks at the pub, and definitely doesn't know about the booze afterward. My friends there don't know about the booze before and after. So it's this kind of twisted thing where I think my friends and family would be surprised to see me say "I'm an alcoholic" and I am sure I don't have the ability to navigate that right now. So, it's cheaper and more fun to go on a holiday hiking trip, and see my gf's family. She has a niece who is all into Santa and that's fun.
So it feels good to be planning firmly to be sober. I've learned here to hold onto sobriety like your life depends on it (it does) and protect it. So that's what I'm doing. Also instead of sliding in at the last minute, I'm actually making plans.
I downloaded a bunch of books to my kindle recently. One was "The Girl On The Train" which is popular right now I guess. Anyway I've thought that I've been reading it for a few days now. I've been waiting to figure out how the title pertains. Well it turns out I was reading "Lit" by Mary Karr. This struck me as hilarious. I've told a few people I've been reading "The Girl On The Train" so now I better get cracking on it.
Back to work this week. I hope you all have a great day/week. I'm so thankful for all of you.
B
I turn 40 this year, a few days after Christmas. We spent hours yesterday planning a birthday road trip vacation for me, my gf, and the dog to go cross country skiing after a Christmas visit to my gf's family. Then we planned a thanksgiving camping trip, just us again. We got a cabin next to a national forest and will go hiking every day and make thanksgiving dinner on a BBQ!
I love my friends back home, but I have real concerns about drinking still. That will be a test. I'm taking the advice I've gotten here and am holding off until I'm really confident with sobriety to go home and face my old identity. I was last there nine days before I quit drinking for good. My friends I stayed with go to bed at nine, much too early for drunk me, so I'd drive up to the town pub and everyone makes a big deal out of me, buys me drinks, I get hammered, get booze to go, drive to a place where I can be alone, drink till I see double, brown out, wake up at my friend's house with my car somehow in the driveway. Lay there and put the pieces together till I remember that I really did drive back, and got there safely. This is my nightly routine at my hometown. I'm quite sure no one knows the whole story; I compartmentalize it. My friend doesn't know I get a tall beer to drink in the car on my way to her house, but does know about wine with dinner. I drink way more than her. She knows I go out after but doesn't know I probably have at least 3-4 drinks at the pub, and definitely doesn't know about the booze afterward. My friends there don't know about the booze before and after. So it's this kind of twisted thing where I think my friends and family would be surprised to see me say "I'm an alcoholic" and I am sure I don't have the ability to navigate that right now. So, it's cheaper and more fun to go on a holiday hiking trip, and see my gf's family. She has a niece who is all into Santa and that's fun.
So it feels good to be planning firmly to be sober. I've learned here to hold onto sobriety like your life depends on it (it does) and protect it. So that's what I'm doing. Also instead of sliding in at the last minute, I'm actually making plans.
I downloaded a bunch of books to my kindle recently. One was "The Girl On The Train" which is popular right now I guess. Anyway I've thought that I've been reading it for a few days now. I've been waiting to figure out how the title pertains. Well it turns out I was reading "Lit" by Mary Karr. This struck me as hilarious. I've told a few people I've been reading "The Girl On The Train" so now I better get cracking on it.
Back to work this week. I hope you all have a great day/week. I'm so thankful for all of you.
B
I just posted on Newcomers because after I checked in this morning I had a little bit of a weird surprise from FB memories: that two years ago today an old coworker checked into a restaurant with me. Well, that was a night that I had erased from my memory somewhat consciously. That night I got really drunk and we went and got some cocaine (which I had a huge problem with in my 20s) and I stayed up all night doing coke and getting myself into a really vulnerable and bad situation. I was in withdrawals for a week after that, and while I did not do coke again, I did drink. So, today is 2 years for me with no drugs. I'm not 10 years clean like I thought I was. Anyway, my mood is a lot different now because I'm a little weirded out about how my addict brain just "forgets" things. I would have passed a lie detector test if you'd asked me when I last did drugs. But I'm thankful for this realization because truly, it's a giant reason I need to be here, doing what I'm doing, staying sober, and working to stay sober, and working to BE sober.
Puts the "yets" into better perspective, too. I am really out of control when I'm drinking. So grateful for today.
B
Puts the "yets" into better perspective, too. I am really out of control when I'm drinking. So grateful for today.
B
Just checking in guys. Working tons but reading threads when I can. I am so happy to hear everyone doing so well. Me I have been dealing with a few panic attacks. Anxiety is still fairly high but not unbearable. Working constantly so that helps. I think I might take a break from the dating scene. It's just too much right now. I know I should be just focusing on myself anyway. I got really depressed because a woman I used to talk to years ago came back into my life. She said she wanted to talk and see were things would lead.
Well guess who blew that? Thats right I did lol. I had always thought she was the one for me. I foolishly rushed things and she has stopped talking too me. Which I find is extremely odd. When I was drinking all the time she would complain about how much I hurt her feelings etc. Now that I am sober she stated I had lost my confidence. Really? Well maybe she was right. I did fall like putty before her. I guess that isnt very attractive. lol
But I realized that I have only been recently sober. I still have alot to go through to get where I want/need to be. Also after all these years I have closure with that relationship. I don't have to have wonder about what might have been. I can now focus on loving myself and fully opening myself up to someone new. For the past 5 years I havent done that really. I have welcomed other women but I never really gave them a chance. Not deep down. So, its liberating. On top of all this I am realizing that one does indeed first need to love one's self. I always thought of that as cliche, but it's certainly a truth.
My job is very demanding but I am loving it! I feel 10 to 15 years younger and so ready for anything it throws my way. It's hard to imagine that I would find passion again. Alcohol has dulled my zest for life and everyday I wake up. I am so grateful. I get to perform with a clear mind body and spirit. Yes there are days and nights that don't go well but I seriously am so happy that I can face them now. Anyway, love you guys and as always We got this A-Team!!!
Well guess who blew that? Thats right I did lol. I had always thought she was the one for me. I foolishly rushed things and she has stopped talking too me. Which I find is extremely odd. When I was drinking all the time she would complain about how much I hurt her feelings etc. Now that I am sober she stated I had lost my confidence. Really? Well maybe she was right. I did fall like putty before her. I guess that isnt very attractive. lol
But I realized that I have only been recently sober. I still have alot to go through to get where I want/need to be. Also after all these years I have closure with that relationship. I don't have to have wonder about what might have been. I can now focus on loving myself and fully opening myself up to someone new. For the past 5 years I havent done that really. I have welcomed other women but I never really gave them a chance. Not deep down. So, its liberating. On top of all this I am realizing that one does indeed first need to love one's self. I always thought of that as cliche, but it's certainly a truth.
My job is very demanding but I am loving it! I feel 10 to 15 years younger and so ready for anything it throws my way. It's hard to imagine that I would find passion again. Alcohol has dulled my zest for life and everyday I wake up. I am so grateful. I get to perform with a clear mind body and spirit. Yes there are days and nights that don't go well but I seriously am so happy that I can face them now. Anyway, love you guys and as always We got this A-Team!!!
In answer to your question, Dee, I've always had issues with anxiety and often dealt with it through compulsive habits. Drinking too much beer, too much soda, eating too many chips, and the like.
Things I enjoy are like this, too. Whenever I discover a new interest, it becomes all I think about for at least a few months. It's good because I learn quickly, but it's also problematic at times, like with drinking or eating too much.
What is up? How is everyone doing?
A couple of milestones have passed for me since I am at 64 days today.
1. 54 days back in 2013
2. 63 days back in 2011, when I first joined SR
What's ahead?
a. 74 days back in 2014
b. 84 days back in 2012
I've many 20, 30 day'rs in between there too. To put a positive twist on all of this, I've got at least a year and a half+ of sobriety compiled. I'll admit, I feel I should have done better though......live 'n learn!
I remember each fall very vividly. I have to tell you, that it's really helped me to know my triggers, since each one was different. I hope there are no more triggers lurking?
I'm pleased to say that it's getting easier to "not depend on anything" when I'm dealing with stress. I know going backwards is not the solution. I've plateaued a bit as far as going nuts cleaning and re-organizing. I wrote a list of everything I (within reason) completed. It was a long list! I shocked myself....
I bought a guitar effects processor and started jamming again on Saturday. I also bought some gadgets (racing wheel/pedals) for my son's (or for me..) game consoles. I like to do racing simulations. So, those additions have been fun. I got new wardrobes for work too.
I actually think I'm done spoiling myself and I feel settled. Now, I just want to move forward and enjoy my life with obstacles to be expected of course.
Hey gang, keep up the sobriety. I can feel the rejuvenation in all of you! We're doing it A-team.....we're doing it together.
Piece-out friends!
A couple of milestones have passed for me since I am at 64 days today.
1. 54 days back in 2013
2. 63 days back in 2011, when I first joined SR
What's ahead?
a. 74 days back in 2014
b. 84 days back in 2012
I've many 20, 30 day'rs in between there too. To put a positive twist on all of this, I've got at least a year and a half+ of sobriety compiled. I'll admit, I feel I should have done better though......live 'n learn!
I remember each fall very vividly. I have to tell you, that it's really helped me to know my triggers, since each one was different. I hope there are no more triggers lurking?
I'm pleased to say that it's getting easier to "not depend on anything" when I'm dealing with stress. I know going backwards is not the solution. I've plateaued a bit as far as going nuts cleaning and re-organizing. I wrote a list of everything I (within reason) completed. It was a long list! I shocked myself....
I bought a guitar effects processor and started jamming again on Saturday. I also bought some gadgets (racing wheel/pedals) for my son's (or for me..) game consoles. I like to do racing simulations. So, those additions have been fun. I got new wardrobes for work too.
I actually think I'm done spoiling myself and I feel settled. Now, I just want to move forward and enjoy my life with obstacles to be expected of course.
Hey gang, keep up the sobriety. I can feel the rejuvenation in all of you! We're doing it A-team.....we're doing it together.
Piece-out friends!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Western US
Posts: 1,765
Hi A-Team. Good news and Bad news for me. Bad news is I woke up yesterday with the worst headache of my life, chills, coughing, congestion, etc. Good news is it wasn't alcohol/hangover related.
I thought about calling in sick to work, but I rarely ever do and I had trained myself over the years that no matter how bad my hangover I would still go to work.... so I went to work, but it was nice to know that at any moment I could have gone home and not felt guilty because I was truly sick not hungover.
Glad everyone seems to be doing well and working through life. See you around soon. Have a good day.
I thought about calling in sick to work, but I rarely ever do and I had trained myself over the years that no matter how bad my hangover I would still go to work.... so I went to work, but it was nice to know that at any moment I could have gone home and not felt guilty because I was truly sick not hungover.
Glad everyone seems to be doing well and working through life. See you around soon. Have a good day.
Hi A-team,
It's great to see everyone is making such amazing progress. I am truly happy for being a part of this group.
Over here I have realised that I am no longer in my sober pink cloud. I expected this to happen, last couple of months have been packed with activities, a lot of progress and excitement, way too intense to be sustainable, so I guess things got more real.
I am still pushing with my recovery goals, they re here to stay, but the energetic approach to sobriety is now being replaced for something more serene and natural.
I went to a wedding last week and was the only sober one there, even my wife had her fair share. I didn't feel proud for staying sober as I would have a few weeks ago, it simply felt natural, and I like that. When people asked I told them I quit, not a single person saw this as a negative thing. I talked to everyone, danced, ate, had shots of water to join in, and there wasn't a single point when drinking even crossed my mind.
This is a big change, it never felt like this before, it was always a struggle, so though I miss the intensity of the relapse - recovery sequence I won't fall for that one again.
Serenity it is for Mr PL 2017.
P
It's great to see everyone is making such amazing progress. I am truly happy for being a part of this group.
Over here I have realised that I am no longer in my sober pink cloud. I expected this to happen, last couple of months have been packed with activities, a lot of progress and excitement, way too intense to be sustainable, so I guess things got more real.
I am still pushing with my recovery goals, they re here to stay, but the energetic approach to sobriety is now being replaced for something more serene and natural.
I went to a wedding last week and was the only sober one there, even my wife had her fair share. I didn't feel proud for staying sober as I would have a few weeks ago, it simply felt natural, and I like that. When people asked I told them I quit, not a single person saw this as a negative thing. I talked to everyone, danced, ate, had shots of water to join in, and there wasn't a single point when drinking even crossed my mind.
This is a big change, it never felt like this before, it was always a struggle, so though I miss the intensity of the relapse - recovery sequence I won't fall for that one again.
Serenity it is for Mr PL 2017.
P
Congrats on the milestone, NT!
Glad to hear things are going so well, Mr. P! I've found that environments where people are drinking are less difficult when people are just "normies" but when they are drinking with that strong need the way I did, I find it difficult. If I power through until they are really lit, it's creepy but I'm not tempted. Only one example thus far to go on, of course, that being seeing an old friend, but powerful enough to get a taste. I'm glad you had fun at the wedding!
Sorry you're sick Quincy but hey - it sounds almost pleasant in comparison, eh?
Congrats on the promotion treebeard!!!!
Good luck on the interview cwood!
Glad you had fun at the concert CP. I bet y'all have lots of great music in Nashville. I've only been through that town once but liked it.
Hi Julia, glad things are good! Don't work too hard :p
I have lots of work to do today. 68 days today, one day at a time. Haven't started "Girl On The Train" yet because I'm still finishing "Lit". Waiting for some guys to show up to work on my house, then going to take the dog to the dog park, then off to work. They guys are 45 minutes late. Ugh.
Hope all have a great sober day/night!
In Gratitude
B
Glad to hear things are going so well, Mr. P! I've found that environments where people are drinking are less difficult when people are just "normies" but when they are drinking with that strong need the way I did, I find it difficult. If I power through until they are really lit, it's creepy but I'm not tempted. Only one example thus far to go on, of course, that being seeing an old friend, but powerful enough to get a taste. I'm glad you had fun at the wedding!
Sorry you're sick Quincy but hey - it sounds almost pleasant in comparison, eh?
Congrats on the promotion treebeard!!!!
Good luck on the interview cwood!
Glad you had fun at the concert CP. I bet y'all have lots of great music in Nashville. I've only been through that town once but liked it.
Hi Julia, glad things are good! Don't work too hard :p
I have lots of work to do today. 68 days today, one day at a time. Haven't started "Girl On The Train" yet because I'm still finishing "Lit". Waiting for some guys to show up to work on my house, then going to take the dog to the dog park, then off to work. They guys are 45 minutes late. Ugh.
Hope all have a great sober day/night!
In Gratitude
B
Hi everybody. 68 days here and I don't think I've ever gone more than 70. Someone here said they have many 30 and 60 day runs too so yes the sober time combined is something I am glad that I have but what am I missing out on with continuous sobriety? I want to find out. I think we are all good at compartmentalizing our drinking. It's a trick to hide it from others so no one will see how messed up we are and suggest we quit. I'm really curious about this book Lit. I'm going to google it now. Mr P I think the pink cloud is highly overrated. It's like manic happiness all the time. When I feel just ok with sobriety I try to remember how bad drunk consequences felt and then follow up with a gratitude list. Like I'm grateful for all of you. Someone also said something about missing the relapse and then recovery cycle. Can you elaborate? I think I can relate to that but I also think of it as self destructive hell. Night everyone.
60 Days
Hope you're feeling better soon.
@tree - I completely agree with you, it is definitely a destructive cycle. I think the part of me that misses it is the one that still thinks I am invincible.
Trying to use an analogy my plan before was to run a marathon by sprinting for 20 minutes, then resting for 10, then sprinting 20, ... sprinting would be the recovery, drinking the resting. I figured that on average I'd get to the same place as someone doing a steady run.
Life did move forward in that way and I always enjoyed the process of going from rock bottom to the point of sobriety where I am now. Then generally I'd drink again, slowly to start with, that would be a great enjoyable period for a month or so, a truly balanced life, but after that alcohol took control again.
I don't think I ever truly set myself to be sober forever before, which I have now, so maybe this is why I miss my old cycle, but I know that can't happen anymore. I know it won't, even when I think of drinking in a positive way I have no desire whatsoever to actually drink.
Guess the trick is to learn how to run steady, finish the Marathon at my own time and make sure I enjoy the sights on the way.
Does that make sense?
P
Trying to use an analogy my plan before was to run a marathon by sprinting for 20 minutes, then resting for 10, then sprinting 20, ... sprinting would be the recovery, drinking the resting. I figured that on average I'd get to the same place as someone doing a steady run.
Life did move forward in that way and I always enjoyed the process of going from rock bottom to the point of sobriety where I am now. Then generally I'd drink again, slowly to start with, that would be a great enjoyable period for a month or so, a truly balanced life, but after that alcohol took control again.
I don't think I ever truly set myself to be sober forever before, which I have now, so maybe this is why I miss my old cycle, but I know that can't happen anymore. I know it won't, even when I think of drinking in a positive way I have no desire whatsoever to actually drink.
Guess the trick is to learn how to run steady, finish the Marathon at my own time and make sure I enjoy the sights on the way.
Does that make sense?
P
I try to explain to myself that while I may be used to that drama it's only from habit. It will go away and it is going away.
It's still bazaar how are instincts work though. However, to put it into perspective, because it went on for 10 years, it became part of my life. On occasion, my mind tells me, "this too simple man, you have to shake things up"......
Powerful statement though Mr. P.
Tate, you questioned what Mr. P meant about missing the relapse and then recovery cycle? This is just my interpretation of what Mr. P wrote.........just mine.
Rock on Team....keep it up!
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