One Year and Under Club Part 56
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
That is great news Drake! How is your job going at this point? I imagine you never have a dull day in your position.
One of the more challenging issues facing us the first year is getting through each new holiday sober. Thanksgiving was one of those holidays for me where even folks who seldom drank had a glass or two of wine, or a couple of beers while watching football. I would start basting the turkey in the morning and myself at the same time. It was an excuse to drink all day long, somewhat openly, without feeling guilty. It was like having a day off. I didn't have to sneak my drinking like I usually did.
You all will feel so proud when you make it through the holiday sober. And you will remember conversations that you had with people.
Yesterday, my daughter's class did a school wide project where each student researched a historical figure and presented a speech about them in period appropriate clothes. My son had done this a few years back, apparently. My wife was reminding me of it, and I had absolutely no recollection of it. It really made me sad to realize how many memories my brain just no longer processed while drinking.
I never understood when people asked if they had blackouts. I always assumed that they meant just passing out. Apparently, I was living life amongst people daily, having conversations, and remembering nothing about them the next day. My wife would be exasperated because she would ask me the night before to pick one of the kids up from school, and I would have no idea the next day. It became really scary because I had no idea what I didn't remember day to day.
Here is to building new sober memories that we will all actually remember!
One of the more challenging issues facing us the first year is getting through each new holiday sober. Thanksgiving was one of those holidays for me where even folks who seldom drank had a glass or two of wine, or a couple of beers while watching football. I would start basting the turkey in the morning and myself at the same time. It was an excuse to drink all day long, somewhat openly, without feeling guilty. It was like having a day off. I didn't have to sneak my drinking like I usually did.
You all will feel so proud when you make it through the holiday sober. And you will remember conversations that you had with people.
Yesterday, my daughter's class did a school wide project where each student researched a historical figure and presented a speech about them in period appropriate clothes. My son had done this a few years back, apparently. My wife was reminding me of it, and I had absolutely no recollection of it. It really made me sad to realize how many memories my brain just no longer processed while drinking.
I never understood when people asked if they had blackouts. I always assumed that they meant just passing out. Apparently, I was living life amongst people daily, having conversations, and remembering nothing about them the next day. My wife would be exasperated because she would ask me the night before to pick one of the kids up from school, and I would have no idea the next day. It became really scary because I had no idea what I didn't remember day to day.
Here is to building new sober memories that we will all actually remember!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
PJ I ditto Dee in regards to your attitude. It is too easy to lay the blame elsewhere when things happen in our lives, it's refreshing to see someone own their past and to be working so hard to improve.
Babs, this too does indeed pass. Keep focussed on your prize, keep getting the support you need from every resource you have.
Drake sweetie, it's good to hear you sounding more on the level X
Have a good one Undies
Babs, this too does indeed pass. Keep focussed on your prize, keep getting the support you need from every resource you have.
Drake sweetie, it's good to hear you sounding more on the level X
Have a good one Undies
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Nice work Drake. 
PJ - I'm inspired by the graceful way you're facing your challenges, life on life's terms. Tending to my recovery every day helps me make the next right decisions, the hard ones. It leaves less room for complacency.
Babs - Family dynamics can be tricky, especially around the holidays. I know I can't go wrong with an AA meeting, and when I'm in a dynamic that has triggered me, I make time to slip out to attend one. Sometimes I don't end up going, sometimes I do.
Stargazer - I know what you mean. There are several things that my husband mentions that I don't remember because I was drunk or hungover. When I stopped drinking I was starting to have a hard time finding the right word to use with increasing frequency.
All good reminders of why sobriety is the choice for me!
PJ - I'm inspired by the graceful way you're facing your challenges, life on life's terms. Tending to my recovery every day helps me make the next right decisions, the hard ones. It leaves less room for complacency.
Babs - Family dynamics can be tricky, especially around the holidays. I know I can't go wrong with an AA meeting, and when I'm in a dynamic that has triggered me, I make time to slip out to attend one. Sometimes I don't end up going, sometimes I do.
Stargazer - I know what you mean. There are several things that my husband mentions that I don't remember because I was drunk or hungover. When I stopped drinking I was starting to have a hard time finding the right word to use with increasing frequency.
All good reminders of why sobriety is the choice for me!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
I don't feel like I'm a failure anymore.
Even though I haven't achieved much more in terms of revenue than I did before I stopped drinking, I'm working properly now. And Hard.
I used to think I didn't deserve success because I wasn't good enough. All those feelings were caused by drink, which made me feel worthless and constantly questioning myself. I'd drink to get rid of those feelings.
Of course being constantly hungover or drinking meant I'd never make anything meaningful anyway.
My work suffered for years and years because I drank. Now I'm putting that right and I feel better than at any time in the last 20 years. I'm not fighting myself which was exhausting.
I love reading the posts from Stargazer, Gleefan, Babs, Saskia, Toots and everyone else here. It's so inspiring to be amongst others who have turned their lives around.
Have a great day everyone!
Even though I haven't achieved much more in terms of revenue than I did before I stopped drinking, I'm working properly now. And Hard.
I used to think I didn't deserve success because I wasn't good enough. All those feelings were caused by drink, which made me feel worthless and constantly questioning myself. I'd drink to get rid of those feelings.
Of course being constantly hungover or drinking meant I'd never make anything meaningful anyway.
My work suffered for years and years because I drank. Now I'm putting that right and I feel better than at any time in the last 20 years. I'm not fighting myself which was exhausting.
I love reading the posts from Stargazer, Gleefan, Babs, Saskia, Toots and everyone else here. It's so inspiring to be amongst others who have turned their lives around.
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Kopfan, focusing on the many positives of staying sober only strengthens my resolve to stay this way. I think it can work well for others, too! I like the way you are using positive thinking as you rediscover what a good life can be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Wow ! you guys are amazing ---It sets me straight every time. I wish I could carry you around with me in my back pocket. Then you could come out and knock me on the head when I start thinking stupid. Seriously I do appreciate your comments and they change my way of thinking more times than you know.
Babs
Babs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Babs - We are all in it together, for sure. Interdependence is powerful in recovery. I'm grateful to be able to come here.
I've been down in the dumps lately about work, which is understandable after recently being passed over for a promotion. Tonight I shared what was bugging me with my sober bestie, who has the uncanny ability to help me reorient myself to peace and serenity when I lose my way. Rather than focus on my disappointment or frustrations with what I didn't get, I am going to figure out how to be happy with what I've got. This is a really simple concept but my alcoholic thinking can cloud the obvious sometimes, and it can take a good friend to point it out. (Thanks Carlos.)
Stay pointed in the right direction, Undies: sober!
I've been down in the dumps lately about work, which is understandable after recently being passed over for a promotion. Tonight I shared what was bugging me with my sober bestie, who has the uncanny ability to help me reorient myself to peace and serenity when I lose my way. Rather than focus on my disappointment or frustrations with what I didn't get, I am going to figure out how to be happy with what I've got. This is a really simple concept but my alcoholic thinking can cloud the obvious sometimes, and it can take a good friend to point it out. (Thanks Carlos.
)Stay pointed in the right direction, Undies: sober!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Good morning, Undies!
I had a small epiphany about my recovery last night. For me it's not only about vigilance and working through the cravings. What I believe is making the really big difference now is the work I've been doing on myself. I was at dinner last night with a bunch of people drinking. It barely registered. Recently I had some stuff happen that was discouraging yet when I had a very brief drinking thought, I immediately thought "that would only make it worse".
By working on my issues, over time my brain seems to have accepted the fact that drinking doesn't solve any problems and I'm gradually developing the ability to deal with problems head on instead of escaping. Now I'm finding that I no longer want to escape. So the work I've been doing is leading to fundamental changes in how I think about and respond to events and thoughts. Awesome!
I had a small epiphany about my recovery last night. For me it's not only about vigilance and working through the cravings. What I believe is making the really big difference now is the work I've been doing on myself. I was at dinner last night with a bunch of people drinking. It barely registered. Recently I had some stuff happen that was discouraging yet when I had a very brief drinking thought, I immediately thought "that would only make it worse".
By working on my issues, over time my brain seems to have accepted the fact that drinking doesn't solve any problems and I'm gradually developing the ability to deal with problems head on instead of escaping. Now I'm finding that I no longer want to escape. So the work I've been doing is leading to fundamental changes in how I think about and respond to events and thoughts. Awesome!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Rather than focus on my disappointment or frustrations with what I didn't get, I am going to figure out how to be happy with what I've got. This is a really simple concept but my alcoholic thinking can cloud the obvious sometimes, and it can take a good friend to point it out.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Originally Posted by Saskia
Good morning, Undies!
I had a small epiphany about my recovery last night. For me it's not only about vigilance and working through the cravings. What I believe is making the really big difference now is the work I've been doing on myself. I was at dinner last night with a bunch of people drinking. It barely registered. Recently I had some stuff happen that was discouraging yet when I had a very brief drinking thought, I immediately thought "that would only make it worse".
By working on my issues, over time my brain seems to have accepted the fact that drinking doesn't solve any problems and I'm gradually developing the ability to deal with problems head on instead of escaping. Now I'm finding that I no longer want to escape. So the work I've been doing is leading to fundamental changes in how I think about and respond to events and thoughts. Awesome!
I had a small epiphany about my recovery last night. For me it's not only about vigilance and working through the cravings. What I believe is making the really big difference now is the work I've been doing on myself. I was at dinner last night with a bunch of people drinking. It barely registered. Recently I had some stuff happen that was discouraging yet when I had a very brief drinking thought, I immediately thought "that would only make it worse".
By working on my issues, over time my brain seems to have accepted the fact that drinking doesn't solve any problems and I'm gradually developing the ability to deal with problems head on instead of escaping. Now I'm finding that I no longer want to escape. So the work I've been doing is leading to fundamental changes in how I think about and respond to events and thoughts. Awesome!
I now find that dealing with problems head on is not really as scary as I must have imagined that they would be. Who know? I drank every day so I never had the chance to find out. Great news in recognizing the evolution of your thinking Saskia!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Glee I went through the same thing and I thought I was the ideal person for the job and didn't get it. I wish I had this thread with me at that time. Cause I did turn to the bottle and I did make things worse. It really proved to myself that I wasn't the person for the job after all by just the way I handled not getting the promotion.
Sass, I know it's early for me but, I also look at the situation and think to myself there is no reason to drink and suffer through the hangover the next day. and yet it's sooooo easy to turn my head and say well, I will stop tomorrow. and we all know where that goes. thank you for that reminder.
Going to make it a great day===hugs to all of you.
Babs
Sass, I know it's early for me but, I also look at the situation and think to myself there is no reason to drink and suffer through the hangover the next day. and yet it's sooooo easy to turn my head and say well, I will stop tomorrow. and we all know where that goes. thank you for that reminder.
Going to make it a great day===hugs to all of you.
Babs
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