Class of February 2016 Part 21
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Badger, I don't tell people that I'm an alcoholic. It may not be the best policy, but I've kept all this secret from everyone. They know I don't drink anymore, and I've just left it at that. Even with my closest friends, I'm just declining to drink, but I haven't made a big production of saying "I don't drink," and I haven't publicly (except here) acknowledged my alcoholism, although I am a classic alcoholic in many respects. I check off the boxes in most categories, so there's no point in arguing semantics: I am an alcoholic in recovery.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Hi Badger
I think I've shared before that I told everyone when I quit - I was a very public drunk anyway...
but I kind of regret that general announcement now as the A word made people worry at a time when there was nothing to worry about.
Nowadays I simply say I don;t think, or for older acquaintances, I don;t drink Anymore.
I really don't believe people need to know anymore than that.
D
I think I've shared before that I told everyone when I quit - I was a very public drunk anyway...
but I kind of regret that general announcement now as the A word made people worry at a time when there was nothing to worry about.
Nowadays I simply say I don;t think, or for older acquaintances, I don;t drink Anymore.
I really don't believe people need to know anymore than that.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Depends on the audience. The alcoholic pink elephant had a label from the get go with my family and closest friends, well before I quit.
I obviously say it every time I speak up in AA and don't bat an eye. That didn't happen automatically- I might not have even said the word until the first time I spoke in a meeting which was probably 3 or 4 months in (seems like a long time). The word wasn't that important as far as what I was doing: I quit drinking.
That's usually the way I start out the conv I have had with the friends with whom I have reconnected. Depending on their level of experience or knowledge with alcoholism, what our relationship was like, etc, I may or may not use the actual word. But the point is the same, and what I do share about is what I do now - my ESH. Sometimes less of the E because everyone doesn't need to know allll the experience (and since I isolated so much, the people I want "back" weren't really around to see the worst of the worst)....with all, definitely the strength and hope. Every single one of them sees how completely different I am, and I answer questions they have.
Work is possibly a little unusual for me as when I asked for my restaurant job, I laid out my alcoholism and recovery when I asked for the job back. I met with the VP and we discussed it, and she , the owner and my general manager were all on board from the get go. A couple of people I worked with last year knew I was an alcoholic who was still drinking, I am sure others suspected and certainly saw alcoholic behavior, and then there's just those I know this time around. I am casual about conversation, usually just saying "I don't drink" or "oh, I used to" or such when it comes up. It's a restaurant and plenty of people I work with are much younger and party in whatever way, and there are plenty of people older like me....or who have alcoholism and addiction in their families (you'd be amazed at how many servers and bartenders are recovered alcholics and addicts, actually) so it is generally an acceptable topic. I'll deal with a different work environment when I cross that bridge.
It occurred to me today that part of why I was hemming a little bit about this trip is that my significant other of most significance, in the last six years, used to take me on his business trips. Complicated story re that relationship in so many ways. Cliff and I have such a different relationship, not the least because we don't drink. I am probably over thinking this but I need to get it sorted out in my head. Some of it ties to money- my ex paid for, well, everything even some of my bills- and just....expectations maybe?
Anyway, a night at home. Anyone else ever thaw out chicken or such and then not feel like making it? Classic me behavior and now I have to cook it so it won't go bad. At least sober me realizes this and doesn't just chuck it after forgetting for a couple of days...ha. Someone's getting leftovers....
Have a good evening, all.
A
I obviously say it every time I speak up in AA and don't bat an eye. That didn't happen automatically- I might not have even said the word until the first time I spoke in a meeting which was probably 3 or 4 months in (seems like a long time). The word wasn't that important as far as what I was doing: I quit drinking.
That's usually the way I start out the conv I have had with the friends with whom I have reconnected. Depending on their level of experience or knowledge with alcoholism, what our relationship was like, etc, I may or may not use the actual word. But the point is the same, and what I do share about is what I do now - my ESH. Sometimes less of the E because everyone doesn't need to know allll the experience (and since I isolated so much, the people I want "back" weren't really around to see the worst of the worst)....with all, definitely the strength and hope. Every single one of them sees how completely different I am, and I answer questions they have.
Work is possibly a little unusual for me as when I asked for my restaurant job, I laid out my alcoholism and recovery when I asked for the job back. I met with the VP and we discussed it, and she , the owner and my general manager were all on board from the get go. A couple of people I worked with last year knew I was an alcoholic who was still drinking, I am sure others suspected and certainly saw alcoholic behavior, and then there's just those I know this time around. I am casual about conversation, usually just saying "I don't drink" or "oh, I used to" or such when it comes up. It's a restaurant and plenty of people I work with are much younger and party in whatever way, and there are plenty of people older like me....or who have alcoholism and addiction in their families (you'd be amazed at how many servers and bartenders are recovered alcholics and addicts, actually) so it is generally an acceptable topic. I'll deal with a different work environment when I cross that bridge.
It occurred to me today that part of why I was hemming a little bit about this trip is that my significant other of most significance, in the last six years, used to take me on his business trips. Complicated story re that relationship in so many ways. Cliff and I have such a different relationship, not the least because we don't drink. I am probably over thinking this but I need to get it sorted out in my head. Some of it ties to money- my ex paid for, well, everything even some of my bills- and just....expectations maybe?
Anyway, a night at home. Anyone else ever thaw out chicken or such and then not feel like making it? Classic me behavior and now I have to cook it so it won't go bad. At least sober me realizes this and doesn't just chuck it after forgetting for a couple of days...ha. Someone's getting leftovers....
Have a good evening, all.
A
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 508
Checking in. Hey AJ/Freedom! I just tell people I'm not drinking due to health problems. They don't need to know any more than that. I'm not sure if I was an alcoholic or just addicted to drinking and really it doesnt matter anyway. I love my life and everyday I realize more and more how unhealthy drinking is and how healthy I am. Thinking of OT who lost her toenail. I can tell how health I am because all my nails all longer than they've ever been and my hair is growing so quickly. I had a rough start due to all my health issue but now I'm full speed ahead.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
My 10k in Oregon was just cancelled due to a storm. Great Columbia Crossing
I've run lots of races and this is a first. I was looking forward to exercising my sober muscles, as Dee says, and telling my friends, "no thanks. I'm drinking ice tea these days."
I've run lots of races and this is a first. I was looking forward to exercising my sober muscles, as Dee says, and telling my friends, "no thanks. I'm drinking ice tea these days."
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
This is weird weather. They've had two tornadoes touch down on the Oregon coast today. That NEVER happens. I've never seen that happen here.
http://koin.com/2016/10/14/tornado-w...mook-counties/
http://koin.com/2016/10/14/tornado-w...mook-counties/
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
OOTT- be safe. Sounds like a good thing for no run!
Just feeling....pissy. And I really don't want to transmit that all over the place (ie to my boyfriend) because it is a day off and because we have terrific plans tonight. About which I am meh, to say the least. Grrr.
Beginning to regret deciding to go on this trip. Not sure it is a good idea to share all that. And....can't be out the ticket money. Seriously have to get it together.
Perhaps focusing AWAY from myself today is the best plan.
Happier days to all-
A
Just feeling....pissy. And I really don't want to transmit that all over the place (ie to my boyfriend) because it is a day off and because we have terrific plans tonight. About which I am meh, to say the least. Grrr.
Beginning to regret deciding to go on this trip. Not sure it is a good idea to share all that. And....can't be out the ticket money. Seriously have to get it together.
Perhaps focusing AWAY from myself today is the best plan.
Happier days to all-
A
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
When I speak up ("I do not want a drink") after years of going along with others, of course there are raised eyebrows. And not entirely because of drinking issues, but because "Mr. Goes Along With Others" has suddenly become "Mr. has an Independent Idea." Ceasing drinking disturbs long-established pecking orders within a social hierarchy.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
That's a great point Mel. I've seen that when one person in a group loses weight too. Their frenemies try to drag them back down and sabotage their weight loss by tempting them with food because it upsets the group dynamic for one person to succeed and better themselves.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Up too late for various reasons....went to see Postmodern Jukebox tonight at the Fox Theatre (a major Atlanta landmark) - it was fun and different. Their US tour is on now and I think European follows.
Two long days ahead. One step at a time.
Sleep well all-
A
Two long days ahead. One step at a time.
Sleep well all-
A
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Badger- sometimes I am surprised at what people DON'T even know, let alone understand. I often feel the world is still a 50/50 split- those who have some intimate knowledge or at least environmental/social awareness and understanding, and those who are still clueless. Personally, I still believe there is plenty of stigma around alcoholism as a whole and particularly for women. And the really dumb part is that the active alcoholics we see are often treated blithely, or even worse, like the accepted and even "celebrated" ones....IRL and certainly in celluloid-land. Alas- not my circus, not my monkeys to inform or educate tout (e?) le monde.
Serious conversation last night on a sensitive topic. Feel ok about it this morning. Shared small amount of why feeling anxious about the trip, too. As usual, both of us glad I shared.
Anyone have fun plans for their day? Tell me something fun, people!
Off to walk the dog and back to the races!
Take good care of yous-
A
Serious conversation last night on a sensitive topic. Feel ok about it this morning. Shared small amount of why feeling anxious about the trip, too. As usual, both of us glad I shared.
Anyone have fun plans for their day? Tell me something fun, people!
Off to walk the dog and back to the races!
Take good care of yous-
A
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 486
I used "alcoholic" with a few people in the beginning, but no longer say it. I only said it to them because they just would NOT listen that I was not going to drink anymore.
Now nobody else really asks. I don't hang out with a ton of people like I used to, but I have realized that you are not on peoples' radars as much as you might think....they tend to forget.
If I were to be asked now by anyone new or an old acquaintance, I would probably just say I got sick of it (which is not a lie, lol). People who know me know that I have quit a spate of vices in my life. It's always been the kind of the way I've been. I seem to have spent my high school and adult life always "quitting something" and boy, was that exhausting!!
Hope everyone is well. I'm doing great. 33 weeks tomorrow. very strong and happy in my sobriety and looking forward to 8 months in 14 days.
Work has been challenging, but I have kind of enjoyed it, because it's usually kind of easy which leads to boredom.
Good to see everyone is doing well! Talk atcha soon!
Be good to yourselves!
Lee
Now nobody else really asks. I don't hang out with a ton of people like I used to, but I have realized that you are not on peoples' radars as much as you might think....they tend to forget.
If I were to be asked now by anyone new or an old acquaintance, I would probably just say I got sick of it (which is not a lie, lol). People who know me know that I have quit a spate of vices in my life. It's always been the kind of the way I've been. I seem to have spent my high school and adult life always "quitting something" and boy, was that exhausting!!
Hope everyone is well. I'm doing great. 33 weeks tomorrow. very strong and happy in my sobriety and looking forward to 8 months in 14 days.
Work has been challenging, but I have kind of enjoyed it, because it's usually kind of easy which leads to boredom.
Good to see everyone is doing well! Talk atcha soon!
Be good to yourselves!
Lee
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Guys I've been so swamped by work and chasing tutors around for references! University application has been sent off. Including one of the top unis in the UK. I made the decision to apply very last minute so there was a lot of running around to do (earlier application deadlines for these unis). Still got lots to do but figured I should just check in. I'll try and make time for SR as well. Hope everyone is well.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Good to see you OT!
August I don't have anything fun to report, darn. White knuckled a bit today... I know that will happen from time to time. I need to have dark chocolate around at all times, but didn't want to risk going to the store, so I just sat on my hands.
I just read The Simpsons is on its 600th episode!!! That will keep me busy, I must have 500 still to watch!
August I don't have anything fun to report, darn. White knuckled a bit today... I know that will happen from time to time. I need to have dark chocolate around at all times, but didn't want to risk going to the store, so I just sat on my hands.
I just read The Simpsons is on its 600th episode!!! That will keep me busy, I must have 500 still to watch!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hugs, Penny.
And seriously- I remember when the Simpsons started. Crazy.
Long day and the pennies weren't flowing! Let alone the dollars. Ha. Same routine tomorrow, 11 to 11, approx.
OT- such great stuff going on for you!
Laters all-
A
And seriously- I remember when the Simpsons started. Crazy.
Long day and the pennies weren't flowing! Let alone the dollars. Ha. Same routine tomorrow, 11 to 11, approx.
OT- such great stuff going on for you!
Laters all-
A
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