emme99

Congrats on one week MyLoves and Angie

I hope you had a peaceful day HelenofTroy. You are in my thoughts.

I am glad you went straight home Snarly, great job

Thanks for sharing your list LastDrinks. The extra money is a big one for me. I rarely buy anything for myself that isn't needed, but with alcohol it didn't matter how much it was I would buy it. It will be nice to have that money for other things now, like bills first & foremost.

Day 6
6 days ago I never thought I would be here again and the days have added up quickly and I am happy to be this far. I had a good day. I had a feeling of calm today versus the anxiety like I usually have. I don't know what causes the calm feeling, but I wish I did because I would do it every day

I had a doctor visit today with my doctor who went with me to AA. I really like her a lot. She told me she would go with me again if I wanted/needed her to. I am trying SMART meetings for now. I missed the meeting tonight because I had to pick up my dog from daycare and wouldn't have had time to pick her up and make the meeting. There is one on Wednesday night I haven't been too but I might try it this week.

Happy Tuesday everyone

Snarly

Windancer,

Thank you for all your kind responses.

So true , will this matter in 10 years? no
Worth the stress? absolutely NO T

PERSPECTIVE - i needed that virtual "slap". funny thing I know this stuff. Easy to look at someone else and say ... get over yourself. But when I am stuck in my obsessive brain... not so easy to stop

I posted to Last Drinks responses... because I have really been in a bad place since the doctor.. I am going to paste the "why" that I explained to Last Drinks

....that Doctor put me in a bad place!!!

I just felt like all was for naught . Like wtf am I torturing myself committing to recovery with a plan that I am comfortable with?

This is more than just having to wait a few days to have the blood and urine drawn ..

Short story is the results of the test will be the baseline that mandatory random drug testing will be used as benchmark.

AND I expected the Doctor to at least say "good job on 13 days"
AND i was excited to get diet 2.0.. sick of oatmeal and bananas.

Thanks again,

Snarly

Snarly

Hi emme99,

Thank you so much for your support

Congrats on day 6

I see you mentioned SMART meetings. I am currently looking at other programs to supplement the tools AA has taught me over my many relapses.

I just got the book "Rational Recovery" as one potential new resource.
I have heard of SMART but not much about it.. Would you mind posting some of your experiences so far and maybe why SMART makes sense for you ?

I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you,

Snarly

ReadyAtLast

Morning all,,
good to see you back EH. We are here to help you.

Great post Kim

Snarly-one thing I've learned is to lower my expectations of others, perhaps not even have any expectations of others because I'm only disappointed when it doesn't pan out as I'd like. you're doing this for you. Of course if others say great job etc it makes us feel good but we have to do this for us. Maybe your doc is a 'normal' drinker and they just don't get it. Please try not to let your doc's reaction get to you. I know it's disappointing but you're doing great and congrats on 13 day sober (14 now )

WB congrats on 36 days. For me 4-6 weeks was a danger zone. I felt better, maybe I could handle it. It's beast thinking. I googled Rational Recovery and it helps me rationalize the thoughts in my head and put a stop to them. maybe give it a try. do whatever you have to to keep on this great path.

windancer-sorry to hear your shed won't be hear till Thursday

I know how hard it is to wait. I've woken very stressed and anxious this morning. I'm in the process of selling a house in England. I don't know how it works in the USA but in the UK it's a nightmare. Basically the buyer can pull out until the final day. It's been going on for 2 months now and wearing me down, We were supposed to complete Friday then they said it would be yesterday then they said they hadn't got the mortgage redemption statement through from my lender. Supposed to come through in 24 hours but my mind is racing - what if it doesn't , what if they've lost the details, what if the buyer gets sick of waiting and pulls out. I was so stressed yesterday. It affected my work as I'm constantly waiting for the phone call or the email telling me it's done. But a watched phone never rings and all that.

I'm under time pressure as going away in 1 week and need it to be sorted by then. I have so many things I want to pay off and sort out before I go and I have absolutely no control over this.

Luckily I have a good lawyer who always takes my calls but he is at the mercy of the lender sending the info through. I'm even smoking which I very rarely do and only in times of serious stress. No thoughts of drinking though which is something.

On a positive note I'm so stressed I can't eat and have lost 3 pounds

SoberRobster

Well done to all, I enjoy reading this thread and the advice and things to watch out for. It's day 12 for me..

Windancer

RAL, I am glad you have no desire to drink despite all that extra stress. That kind of stuff is hard for me ... I find it so unnecessary

Great job on day 12 SoberRobster. I have to admit that until now I thought your name was "SoberRooster" and I've gotta laugh because I always wondered about it. LOL

Snarly, you sound GREAT. Like I said I do find that sort of thing triggering and upsetting and I wasn't trying to minimize. I do understand your frustration after all your hard work. I am so glad you aren't picking up because of it though

I'm up uber early again and hope I can get back to sleep. Event Horizons I hope you are ok and I tottered over to my computer to see if you had responded yet

Windancer

Oh, HelenofTroy you are also strongly in my thoughts.

Dee74

I can't imagine what that pain would be like Helen but you have my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sorry you had a bit of a rough time at the Doctors too Snarly...sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches...the important thing is you're sober , you've found SR and you're heading into 2 weeks - great stuff

In hope you'll post again and tell us whats going on and how we can help EventHorizon?

Congrats to everyone here celebrating a milestone today, no matter what it is

D

Windancer

Nope, can't sleep

Day#22 here ... yippee.

Some strange things are going on with my body recently. I've been feeling sick with the weirdest things as triggers and this morning I craved tea over coffee ... never happens LOL not in the morning. I've also had random bouts of uncontrollable hiccups. Weird, I know. I usually never get hiccups unless I am incredibly hammered. Could maybe just be my body doing some more healing in odd ways. The last time I got drunk I ripped my entire nail intact off of my middle finger on my left hand. I can't believe it but the nail is growing back already! My doctor said that that would not happen.

On the tractor again today I think. LOL I feel like a farmer saying that. My Dad is the funniest ... I never thought I'd see him on a tractor but low and behold he is acting like he is playing with a Tonka truck in a sandbox.

Congrats everyone on whatever day it is for you. If it's a sober day it is a good one!

Snarly

Windancer,

Again thank you for your support.

I love reading all about your journey with your horses



So much better than the wsj. (wall street Journal)

I am doing a news "fast" so i read posts such as yours to replace news.

Thanks again,

Snarly

Windancer

You are very welcome Snarly .

I am trying to remember things that I did in treatment, and one was to do a Mind, Body and Spirit check-in (as opposed to just saying one emotion to how you are feeling, this was considered more holistic).

I am feeling mentally anxious. Physically a little off, sick and achy but also ancy like I need exercise (perhaps i'll go for an early morning walk). Spiritually I am feeling transformative.

WhiskeyBent

Morning y'all. The days are piling up. Sleep has returned. *****. Off to work. Life can really zoom by if you dont pay attention.

WhiskeyBent

Found a cool list on the interwebs:

You might not have Googled “happiness” as a first step to learning more about relapse prevention, but as it turns out, a long-term focus on happiness might be a good idea. Being happy—truly happy—in your sobriety may help you stay sober. Makes sense, because if being sober doesn’t make you happy, then you’re fighting against yourself from the get-go. The “seven habits of happy people” is a list of suggestions for living happily.

1) Relationships, intimacy and commitment. Studies show that people who rate themselves as very happy have close ties with other people. But having a large number of friends doesn’t seem to matter. What does matter is that happy people prioritize connecting with others, making meaningful friendships, and then making time to spend with those people. Start small — try making one phone call to someone you care about each week. See where that leads.

2) Caring, kindness, giving and service. Making time to give back. It may be to the recovery community through service to your Alcoholics Anonymous group, or in other ways, but make it a priority to do things for others with no particular reward in mind. Volunteering is a great way to connect with others and give back to your community. Not sure you can handle volunteering in a hospital or nursing home setting? Perhaps walking dogs at the local animal shelter is a better match for you.

3) Physical health, nutrition, sleep and exercise. Negative moods can be a real risk to your sobriety, and using drugs or alcohol can wreak havoc on your body. Regular exercise can be as effective as medication at easing depression—and you’ll feel better physically, too. Not the type of person to join a gym? Hate running? Try yoga or find a local rail trail in your area. You can find activities that you can enjoy solo or in a group. Many areas now have “Meet Up” groups engaging in nearly any type of activity you can imagine—from ultimate Frisbee to tango.

4) Goals, hobbies and flow. Find an activity that you can dive into with both feet. For some, this may be a creative outlet, like pottery, needlework or art. For others it may be an activity, like riding a horse or bicycle. Whatever it is, it should be something that challenges you—something you can work at and seek to master. It should be something that when you do it, you can get into the groove and experience the joy of “flow.” Flow is best understood as that sense that you’ve totally lost track of time and even a sense of yourself. With pottery, it’s like the universe has shrunk down to the clay, the wheel and your hands. Time evaporates, and you are totally in the moment. Afterward, you may feel joyful, relaxed or exhilarated, and you’ll likely be amazed at how much time went by. Experiencing flow is a core component of happiness.

5) Spirituality, religion or a higher power. Studies show that people who consistently consider themselves to be happiest also indicate some connection to either an organized religion, a self-definition as spiritual or a commitment to a higher power. Many different traditions stress some sort of meditation as a part of the practice of the faith, and again, meditation is known to be linked with feelings of well-being and happiness.

6) Strengths, best qualities and sharing them. Again, studies show that happiness is strongly linked to a certain type of self-knowledge—not self-criticism. While it is all too common to be your own harshest critic, being able to identify and use your best qualities—your strengths and virtues—is an important skill that happy people seem to master.

7) Optimism and gratitude. These qualities have to do with being able to roll with the punches and cope with the ups and downs that life and recovery will certainly dole out. Happy people manage to find opportunities, even in difficult or negative situations. They may mourn and grieve losses, but they don’t lose hope or predict negative outcomes. Studies indicate that optimistic thinking can help people feel better mentally, emotionally and physically.

If you work on integrating these seven principles into your life, as you continue to work your program, you just may find that relapse prevention is a positive and fun part of being sober.

Snarly

Whiskey Bent,

Hi. Snarly here.

Thank you so much for this post!

I am printing this out now...

Have a great day at work!

HelenofTroy

Good morning folks.

I want to thank everyone for all the kind comments yesterday. It means a lot to me. I gave myself permission to drink yesterday. I never find getting trashed helps, in fact it makes it worse, but a couple of drinks to take the edge off the grief usually helps. Well as it turns out I didn't drink. I figured I would have one if I really wanted one but I didn't really want one so I didn't. And I didn't let the spoiled brat out who would have one just because it was allowed. I also had a bottle of water instead of a beer at the Alice Cooper concert the night before (which was excellent btw - hard to believe he is 68yo!) The first concert I've ever been to with no drugs or alcohol. So this puts me at day 6 today.

I've just caught up on all the posts.

SomeSortOfHuman, work was triggering for me too and I give you huge credit for getting past that. I had to retire to get out of the "let's go out and get drunk after work" mindset.

EventHorizons I hope you keep reaching out - we are here when you are ready.

So many of you doing well; Emme, Kim (love your cheese analogy), CAGY (day 27 - awesome! - $ issues usually end up working themselves out even if it takes some time), Caramel, MyLoves, SoberRobster, and Angie. Whew!

Snarly I hope you were able to get some sleep and are able to put some perspective on your Dr's appointment. It is always disappointing when someone doesn't live up to our expectations. You don't need your Dr to congratulate you on day 13. You know in your heart what a great accomplishment that is and how hard you have worked for it. You have inner validation.

ReadyAtLast, selling a house is so stressful, but I can't imagine it when someone can pull out of the deal at any time. Here in Canada (or at least in my Province) you both sign a binding contract when the seller accepts the offer. Hopefully it gets sorted before you go away.

There have been some good lists posted - LastDrink’s list of what he is enjoying and WhiskeyBent’s happiness rules. Good food for thought there.

Windancer. I am blown away by your tenacity. You are working so hard both physically and mentally. I hope there are no more hiccups (lol) with getting your barn Thursday. I grew up on a farm and the first thing I learned to drive was a tractor at 8yo. I also had horses until I was about 14. I have to say I'm a little envious And I love the idea of your Mind, Body and Spirit check-in. I will have to try that.

Ok. Back to reality today. I have lots or cleaning and organizing to do here still so I will take another bite out of that. Have a good one everybody

ReadyAtLast

I'm exactly the same. Even when I see your name now I say to myself SoberRooster

My rooster attacked me a few weeks ago so maybe the thoughts of roosters are still in my mind

Angie247

Day 8. Feeling better and getting more sleep. Appetite came back at work yesterday when we had pizza lol. I'm getting out more work too and I feel confident in it. Still feel a bit tired but so much better. I have hope again when just a couple weeks ago I kept telling myself that my life meant nothing.

Windancer

I used to have chickens too RAL ... perhaps it's us chicken ladies that are the problem LOL

Windancer

Thank you so much for your kind comments, HelenofTroy. You made my day. And I'm thrilled to hear from you today! It seems like even though it was an extremely charged day emotionally, that yesterday could have been a lot worse for you. I can't even pretend to understand what that pain must be like.

Martin1

Day 2, I feel pretty much back to normal health wise now. I'm gonna have something to eat and a shower then go for a walk somewhere, probably get something from the fish & chip shop. I enjoy this in Autumn.

I might even wear my Timberlands and crunch some leaves.