Class of August 2014 Part 23
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
I had written something about a boxing analogy- but deleted it.
The gist was you've won many rounds of this thing, let your guard down a bit and lost a couple of rounds, and are coming roaring back.
The alcohol is out of your system. It's a mental game right now. You have powerful reasons to stay sober and powerful support. And believe it or not, the strength you've gained over the last couple of years will get you through this.
Our greatest accomplishments are seldom easy.
The gist was you've won many rounds of this thing, let your guard down a bit and lost a couple of rounds, and are coming roaring back.
The alcohol is out of your system. It's a mental game right now. You have powerful reasons to stay sober and powerful support. And believe it or not, the strength you've gained over the last couple of years will get you through this.
Our greatest accomplishments are seldom easy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Thanks choobie! Thanks ultra! Thanks pink! I am so glad I found the courage to reach out to you guys and be honest about what happened. Your support and posts have kept me going strong enough the past few days to remember why I chose this path a few years ago. And, more importantly, how important it is. I am surprised and humbled at how strong the beast is once it is able to get its hands on you. You guys have literally pulled me out of its grip so I can run away again. This is a testament to the power of this site and to having a class that you journey with.
Slept last night, very grateful for that. Off to make a kale drink and then to the gym.
Eye on the short term prize, making it to Monday. I know I will, but I am keeping my guard up extra strong. I will not go back into the darkness. This morning feels like I have been pushing hard since Tuesday, and finally rolled the big rock from in front of my door a bit and some light is now shining in. Akin to snapping out of a brief trance. Sounds dramatic to most people I am sure, but I know you guys get it.
"Sometimes victory is won not in miles but inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more." L. Amour
Love.
Slept last night, very grateful for that. Off to make a kale drink and then to the gym.
Eye on the short term prize, making it to Monday. I know I will, but I am keeping my guard up extra strong. I will not go back into the darkness. This morning feels like I have been pushing hard since Tuesday, and finally rolled the big rock from in front of my door a bit and some light is now shining in. Akin to snapping out of a brief trance. Sounds dramatic to most people I am sure, but I know you guys get it.
"Sometimes victory is won not in miles but inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more." L. Amour
Love.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
So, I'm a believer of synchronicity. This article came to my e-mail in box this morning, interestingly, after the boxing analogy we spoke about last night.
Can't help but think we're not the only ones on your side Determined. Seems like the Universe is chiming in as well . . .
STOICS ASK: WHAT KIND OF BOXER ARE YOU?
(by Brian Johnson- Philosopher Notes)
“The Stoics loved to use boxing and wrestling metaphors the way we use baseball and football analogies today. This is probably because the sport of pankration—literally, ‘all strength,’ but a purer form of mixed martial arts than one sees today in the UFC—was integral to boyhood and manhood in Greece and Rome. (In fact, recent analysis has found instances of ‘cauliflower ear,’ a common grappling injury, on Greek statues.) The Stoics refer to fighting because it’s what they knew.
Seneca writes that unbruised prosperity is weak and easy to defeat in the ring, but a ‘man who has been at constant feud with misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering.’ This man, he says, fights all the way to the ground and never gives up.
That’s what Epictetus means too. What kind of boxer are you if you leave because you get hit? That’s the nature of the sport! Is that going to stop you from continuing?”
– Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
from The Daily Stoic
Let’s start with the passage from Epictetus’s Discourses that Ryan’s reflecting on: “But what is philosophy? Doesn’t it simply mean preparing ourselves for what may come? Don’t you understand that really amounts to saying that if I would so prepare myself to endure, then let anything happen that will?
Otherwise, it would be like the boxer exiting the ring because he took some punches. Actually, you can leave the ring without consequence, but what advantage would come from abandoning the pursuit of wisdom? So, what should each of us say to every trial we face? This is what I’ve trained for, for this my discipline!”
Imagine a boxer taking a couple punches and then simply walking out of the ring.
That would be a little odd, eh?
Well, do YOU do that?
The moment things get tough as you pursue your grand vision of awesome, do you walk out of the ring and into Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/email/online news/your favorite TV show/insert-your-chosen-way-of-avoiding-the-challenges-of-life-here?
We need to LEAN into our challenges. KNOWING (as we discuss all the time!) that our infinite potential exists just on the other side of this current challenge (and right on the other side of the next one and the one after that).
In a book called The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) that traces the historical roots of modern CBT to ancient Stoicism (that Ryan recommended and that we’ll be covering soon), Donald Robertson tells us that, back in the day, philosophers were warriors of the mind. Now, they’re mere librarians of the mind.
These days, it’s all intellectual theory. Cataloging and “logic chopping” as the Stoics would call it. No practice.
But, philosophy as the Stoics saw it was a battle. We need to approach it with the fierce intensity of a warrior. And, we need to know that all those times we’ve gotten knocked down (and back up!) are actually a STRENGTH, not a weakness.
Those callouses on your soul are GOOD things. They’ve toughened you up.
We want to be, as Ryan says, one who “fights all the way to the ground and never gives up.”
(I get goosebumps as I type that. I’m reminded of the story I’ve shared a few times about the time an investor in my last business introduced me to his friends who were thinking about investing by simply saying: “I like Brian because he knows how to get knocked down and bloodied and then get back up off the mat.
Tell us about your business.” <— At that stage I was somewhat ashamed of my “failures” (“Hi, fixed mindset!”) and yet getting up off the mat was what he saw as a key asset of our biz. I guess he liked entrepreneurial calluses.)
Angela Duckworth calls this Grit. In her great book outlining the science of how to cultivate our grit via intense passion + intense persistence, she says: “There’s an old Japanese saying: ‘Fall seven, rise eight.’ If I were ever to get a tattoo, I’d get these four simple words indelibly inked.”
A warrior who gets knocked down. And gets back up.
When tough times come (of course, they will!), remember: THIS IS WHAT WE TRAINED FOR!
Fight to the ground. Never give up.
Can't help but think we're not the only ones on your side Determined. Seems like the Universe is chiming in as well . . .
STOICS ASK: WHAT KIND OF BOXER ARE YOU?
(by Brian Johnson- Philosopher Notes)
“The Stoics loved to use boxing and wrestling metaphors the way we use baseball and football analogies today. This is probably because the sport of pankration—literally, ‘all strength,’ but a purer form of mixed martial arts than one sees today in the UFC—was integral to boyhood and manhood in Greece and Rome. (In fact, recent analysis has found instances of ‘cauliflower ear,’ a common grappling injury, on Greek statues.) The Stoics refer to fighting because it’s what they knew.
Seneca writes that unbruised prosperity is weak and easy to defeat in the ring, but a ‘man who has been at constant feud with misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering.’ This man, he says, fights all the way to the ground and never gives up.
That’s what Epictetus means too. What kind of boxer are you if you leave because you get hit? That’s the nature of the sport! Is that going to stop you from continuing?”
– Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
from The Daily Stoic
Let’s start with the passage from Epictetus’s Discourses that Ryan’s reflecting on: “But what is philosophy? Doesn’t it simply mean preparing ourselves for what may come? Don’t you understand that really amounts to saying that if I would so prepare myself to endure, then let anything happen that will?
Otherwise, it would be like the boxer exiting the ring because he took some punches. Actually, you can leave the ring without consequence, but what advantage would come from abandoning the pursuit of wisdom? So, what should each of us say to every trial we face? This is what I’ve trained for, for this my discipline!”
Imagine a boxer taking a couple punches and then simply walking out of the ring.
That would be a little odd, eh?
Well, do YOU do that?
The moment things get tough as you pursue your grand vision of awesome, do you walk out of the ring and into Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/email/online news/your favorite TV show/insert-your-chosen-way-of-avoiding-the-challenges-of-life-here?
We need to LEAN into our challenges. KNOWING (as we discuss all the time!) that our infinite potential exists just on the other side of this current challenge (and right on the other side of the next one and the one after that).
In a book called The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) that traces the historical roots of modern CBT to ancient Stoicism (that Ryan recommended and that we’ll be covering soon), Donald Robertson tells us that, back in the day, philosophers were warriors of the mind. Now, they’re mere librarians of the mind.
These days, it’s all intellectual theory. Cataloging and “logic chopping” as the Stoics would call it. No practice.
But, philosophy as the Stoics saw it was a battle. We need to approach it with the fierce intensity of a warrior. And, we need to know that all those times we’ve gotten knocked down (and back up!) are actually a STRENGTH, not a weakness.
Those callouses on your soul are GOOD things. They’ve toughened you up.
We want to be, as Ryan says, one who “fights all the way to the ground and never gives up.”
(I get goosebumps as I type that. I’m reminded of the story I’ve shared a few times about the time an investor in my last business introduced me to his friends who were thinking about investing by simply saying: “I like Brian because he knows how to get knocked down and bloodied and then get back up off the mat.
Tell us about your business.” <— At that stage I was somewhat ashamed of my “failures” (“Hi, fixed mindset!”) and yet getting up off the mat was what he saw as a key asset of our biz. I guess he liked entrepreneurial calluses.)
Angela Duckworth calls this Grit. In her great book outlining the science of how to cultivate our grit via intense passion + intense persistence, she says: “There’s an old Japanese saying: ‘Fall seven, rise eight.’ If I were ever to get a tattoo, I’d get these four simple words indelibly inked.”
A warrior who gets knocked down. And gets back up.
When tough times come (of course, they will!), remember: THIS IS WHAT WE TRAINED FOR!
Fight to the ground. Never give up.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Wow, I loved this ultra! Seneca is one of my all time favorites! Funny, I have a picture on the wall right in front of me now taken years ago in Greece, a place called the philosophers walk. Too crazy ironic, you are correct, universe is aligning. Thanks again for posting that, I will read it several times today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Hey guys
Choobie good to see you!
Ultra, fabulous posts!
Determined, you are amazing, never ever give up!
I'm planning a USA road trip for 2018, I would love to hear everyone's ideas! We are wanting to fly over for 3 weeks, happy to drive lots, want to see lots. Please help me! Have seen lots if suggested itineraries but wanted to ask you guys. Also, what time of year is best?
Love xx
Choobie good to see you!
Ultra, fabulous posts!
Determined, you are amazing, never ever give up!
I'm planning a USA road trip for 2018, I would love to hear everyone's ideas! We are wanting to fly over for 3 weeks, happy to drive lots, want to see lots. Please help me! Have seen lots if suggested itineraries but wanted to ask you guys. Also, what time of year is best?
Love xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Heading for bedforshire, all good here. Pink, what kind of scenery and activity do you prefer? That will help with where you start and time of year. So many good places, nyc is a good start if you fly in there.
Love you guys! Sleep tight.
Love you guys! Sleep tight.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
And I mostly hang out in the North/Midwest. I generally enjoy vacationing in tiny towns and exploring every inch of them, so not too much help here, either.
I do think the Grand Canyon is awe inspiring. I would love to see New Orleans someday! Lots to see in California! I think Spring or Fall would be a great time to visit- most of the country wouldn't have extreme temperatures during those seasons.
Hmmmm....struggling to give an update. There just isn't enough time in a day to get in much but daily life stuff. School, work, kids- highs and lows. But it's real. I get so much inspiration from each one of you!
Love to all
I do think the Grand Canyon is awe inspiring. I would love to see New Orleans someday! Lots to see in California! I think Spring or Fall would be a great time to visit- most of the country wouldn't have extreme temperatures during those seasons.
Hmmmm....struggling to give an update. There just isn't enough time in a day to get in much but daily life stuff. School, work, kids- highs and lows. But it's real. I get so much inspiration from each one of you!
Love to all
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Happy Friday guys!
Feeling good, sleeping better. How is everyone? No big plans for the weekend, got a concert on Saturday. Just plan to get outside and enjoy the weather and the leaves. Perhaps cook something.
I hope you have a fantastic day!
"The first step to becoming is to will it." Mother Theresa
Feeling good, sleeping better. How is everyone? No big plans for the weekend, got a concert on Saturday. Just plan to get outside and enjoy the weather and the leaves. Perhaps cook something.
I hope you have a fantastic day!
"The first step to becoming is to will it." Mother Theresa
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Sounding good Determined!
I'm going to have lunch in NYC this weekend.
Next week I'll pick up two more mentor cases. I'll be working with three youth in all.
One was abused and is now with a foster family. Another has bipolar and has had multiple hospitalizations for suicidal ideation. My third's mother has died, no one knows where his father is, and lives at a foster school. He recently got out of juvenile hall and is on parole / probation.
Lets have a great day!
I'm going to have lunch in NYC this weekend.
Next week I'll pick up two more mentor cases. I'll be working with three youth in all.
One was abused and is now with a foster family. Another has bipolar and has had multiple hospitalizations for suicidal ideation. My third's mother has died, no one knows where his father is, and lives at a foster school. He recently got out of juvenile hall and is on parole / probation.
Lets have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Thanks for the holiday chat guys! I've done a road trip already, flying in and out of LA, and drove in a triangle of phoenix, grandcanyon via scenic route, flagstaff, arizona, Vegas. It was wonderful! We are torn about what to pick. Other half adores the national parks, I love culture, we both adore all scenery and lakes, we like seeing lots of different things - the diversity of different areas. We don't want parties or night life! We don't want big anonymous cities! We are happy to go off the beaten track. We have looked at deep south, route 66, the farming belt, following the mississippi, West coast up to big sur ........We can't agree!
Counting down to my holiday in Costa Rica in 4 weeks. Ready for a holiday but will have to be Strong as when I wind down I associate that with old habits. Will be needing you guys!
So this weekend Is a mix of the following : cats at the vets, hitting the gym, dinner at a restaurant, retail therapy, finishing the rigging on our home made dinghy ready for the launch next week, some relaxation time and a bit of crafting.
Right, I'm off to watch outlander xxx
Counting down to my holiday in Costa Rica in 4 weeks. Ready for a holiday but will have to be Strong as when I wind down I associate that with old habits. Will be needing you guys!
So this weekend Is a mix of the following : cats at the vets, hitting the gym, dinner at a restaurant, retail therapy, finishing the rigging on our home made dinghy ready for the launch next week, some relaxation time and a bit of crafting.
Right, I'm off to watch outlander xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Happy Saturday kids! Feeling great today.
So pink, why not try east coast then? Fly to nyc, spend some time there in Manhattan. Then a day or two in Bronx hipster area for shopping and the best pizza in the world. Then drive north and see niagra falls with stops along the way, Ithaca is a good place to stop on the way. Then head over east again to Maine. Stay and do Acadia national park, maybe even Nova Scotia. Then do the New England coast back down and fly home again from Nyc. I love that area of the us. This would give you culture and beauty in one tour!
Costa Rica rocks. What part are you going to?
"I have learned to find happiness in limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them." John Stuart mill.
Attitude of gratitude. Have a great day guys.
So pink, why not try east coast then? Fly to nyc, spend some time there in Manhattan. Then a day or two in Bronx hipster area for shopping and the best pizza in the world. Then drive north and see niagra falls with stops along the way, Ithaca is a good place to stop on the way. Then head over east again to Maine. Stay and do Acadia national park, maybe even Nova Scotia. Then do the New England coast back down and fly home again from Nyc. I love that area of the us. This would give you culture and beauty in one tour!
Costa Rica rocks. What part are you going to?
"I have learned to find happiness in limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them." John Stuart mill.
Attitude of gratitude. Have a great day guys.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Determined is my new travel agent , that trip sounds awesome! !!! Will do a bit of research and see what we think!
We are Heading to guanacaste in December, going to do some jungle trekking, some zip wiring, some sailing and check out the awesome tropical wildlife!!! I am Soooooooo ready for this holiday! !!!!
Much love xxx
We are Heading to guanacaste in December, going to do some jungle trekking, some zip wiring, some sailing and check out the awesome tropical wildlife!!! I am Soooooooo ready for this holiday! !!!!
Much love xxx
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