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Class of April 2016 Part 8

Old 09-28-2016, 11:55 PM
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Morning Everyone!
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Old 09-29-2016, 07:09 AM
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Good morning guys! I have wrote two messages and lost them both. Oh well!!

I better put this phone down before I throw it!!

Have a great day aprilites!!
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Old 09-29-2016, 12:48 PM
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I had a little fender bender today. Everyone is okay but it really messed up my bumper on my car. Sucks!

I won't drink over it. Not worth it....but still is disheartening. Ugh
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Old 09-29-2016, 02:11 PM
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Hi All, sorry to hear about your fender bender Midwest, that does suck.

Tati, how are you? I was thinking about you and I am hoping you are doing ok.
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Old 09-29-2016, 02:44 PM
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Sorry about the fender bender Midwest at least nobody was hurt
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Old 09-29-2016, 03:59 PM
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Sorry about your accident midwest - glad you're ok

D
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Old 09-29-2016, 04:35 PM
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Thank you guys! I went to Walmart and I bought some peanut butter cookies and milk! I feel better.

I am going to find somewhere tomorrow to get an estimate.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:02 AM
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Morning Everyone!

Busy, busy, busy.
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Old 09-30-2016, 05:20 AM
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I was at a party that had open bar and all I had was a diet coke. After party I was thinking to myself wow, I didn't even think about it.

Learning how to have fun being sober. Wife was even impressed. more
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Old 09-30-2016, 05:22 AM
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Midwest - Sorry about the fender bender, but what is more important is that everyone is OK. It will pass.
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Old 09-30-2016, 05:27 AM
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Everyone,

Hope you ALL have a wonderful weekend, Stay strong, Stay sober.

Sober News:

Once a person stop drinking your body has to re-learn how to use what you are feeding it for food. It's been used to feeding off the alcohol.
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Old 09-30-2016, 07:38 AM
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Josec- thank you!! I got the estimate today. It should be fixed in no time. That is great you didn't even think of drinking at the party! That is awesome that your wife was impressed too. you have really been working hard.

I hope everyone has a great sober weekend. I have no plans but to chill out.
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Old 09-30-2016, 07:52 PM
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Bummer Middy!! But of course it's most important nobody got hurt. The bumper did its job.
My SR app is no longer working so posting is a little more cumbersome. Tech support here says no plans to fix.
But I'm sober! Headed to a new meeting tomorrow, with someone who I just met at another meeting last week. She seems fun and nice and I hope it's a good meeting
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Old 10-01-2016, 05:48 AM
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Hi all. Quick hello and good morning to all! Sitting in car with my Starbucks and waiting for my daughters soccer game to start. Gotta love 8 am games on Sat, but how wonderful to be alert and feeling great after a sober Fri night . I never get tired of this feeling .
Midwest, sorry about your fender bender, but glad no one hurt and it should be repaired quickly.
Josec, sounds like you are doing really well.
Kitty, hope you enjoyed your meeting last night.
Hi to everyone else. I've been lurking a bit this week on the year under thread and see a lot of you there. I really hope everyone is feeling well this weekend and staying strong.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:55 AM
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Morning Everyone!

I'm so disappointed that the weight isn't dropping off me but I guess like you say Josec your body has to adjust to not getting the alcohol anymore.

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 10-02-2016, 10:16 PM
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Thanks Suzie, but there's no resources out here. I don't need much help taking care of my mom physically. It's just emotionally tiring. It's hard to explain what it's like to watch a parent decline. It's just something I have to go through. I just don't know if I can emotionally handle seeing it for the 3rd time.

I know meetings would probably help kitty kat. It's just getting there that's the problem. I have to force myself out of bed every morning. Finding a reason to live is getting harder everyday.

One of the GED programs contacted me and they want me to take a 3 day intake starting oct 17. I thought I would be ecstatic, but I'm scared ******** and I honestly don't want to go anymore. I can't focus and my anxiety is so bad I'm in physical pain. I've been trying to go to bed for the past hour, but I have so much tension running through my body. I took 6 xanax today and I didn't feel anything. I'm almost done with the prescription and it hasn't been two weeks! I honestly didn't think they would call this soon. I don't have the drive like I did two years ago. I put SO much work and dedication the first time around. I mentally feel like I can't do it again.

To make matters worse I met a guy I REALLY like. He's really nice and we have a good repport and I already see myself getting attached. I don't even know if he likes me like that and I'm not sure I want to know. I emotionally cannot handle rejection right now. You know I used to love being by myself now I can't stand it. I have never felt this alone and invisible in my whole entire life. Even my relationship with my mom is strained. Talking to her is literally like pulling teeth, and she's so dismissive of my feelings and she wonders why I'm constantly lashing out. She doesn't truly understand. NONE of my "friends" do. Nobody texts me and asks me how I'm doing. Nobody offers me some words of comfort or has my back. Nobody. Cares.

I relapsed again this past week and my mom of course guilt tripped me into throwing out the rest of the booze. I ******' hate when she does that because emotionally manipulates me into buying her cancer sticks. We have this really ****** up co-dependent relationship and she doesn't seem to care.

I'm so tired of being alive. I just googled "fastest ways to commit suicide". But I can't ******' do it. I'm too scared!!! I'm literally trapped and I am livid. My anger has been off the charts. I rarely leave my room. I have all this pent up resentment. I'm physically in pain and I have nowhere to go for help! I just want to lock myself in a room and drink myself into oblivion. 'My mom keeps telling me I'm going to fine and i'm like no i'm not!! I not fine. I've never been fine and I never WILL be fine. She's in denial and she says that type of **** to shut me up.

I'm glad you're okay Midwest. Glad to see you back Winslow.
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Old 10-02-2016, 10:32 PM
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Double post sorry
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Old 10-03-2016, 08:49 AM
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Suzie and Kittycat- thanks!! You are right Kitty the bumper did its job.

Kopfan- I lost 25 lbs and I haven't been working at losing anymore. I probably should go ahead and do another 20lbs. I am pretty comfortable where I am but I really should.
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:45 AM
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Tati-
I am glad you posted. I am sorry you are still not doing well and in pain from stress and depression. Did you see your doctor the other week?

Can you do something to help with your anger? Like taking a walk or exercise? That helps me with the extra energy I have. I remember you like funny stuff on YouTube. I hope you try that.

It would be great if you did the GED program. I hope you can get excited about it again.

Please use the sucide hotline number if you have those thoughts again. Your life is important. You are here for a reason. I know that sounds like something everyone says but it's true. Keep posting!! Take care of yourself even if it's a small thing at a time. It adds up.
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Old 10-03-2016, 11:08 AM
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Tati- I hope you consider making a Dr appointment and telling the Dr. Everything that is going on with you. Tell him about the xanax, the anger, and the thoughts you have been having. I know it's scary but to get better I think you may have to do that.
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