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Class of September 2016 Part 2

Old 09-21-2016, 01:33 PM
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I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.

I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates.

Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!
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Old 09-21-2016, 01:38 PM
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Hang in there Sadsadgirl. I have had to start over many times. As you can see by my last post, I came withing a moment of needing to start over again. It happens to all of us. Starting over again at day 1 is much, much better than deciding not to start again. PEACE !!
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Old 09-21-2016, 01:39 PM
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Thanks everyone for your posts - reading them has helped a lot.

For those interested, today is the last day of the Mercury Retrograde cycle. Time for new beginnings tomorrow.
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Old 09-21-2016, 01:40 PM
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Welcome to the September class bblackbirdflyy !!!

PEACE !!
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Old 09-21-2016, 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.

I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates.

Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!
Wow good stuff! To be so close yet still turn away sounds like a really big deal in a good way.

I hear you about the internal justification and reward of thinking we 'deserve' a drink having gone this far too. But then I realise that's just the irrational all-indulging subconscious part of our mind that most likely got us all in this mess to begin with and consciously we have to be rational and just not give in, which you did.
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Old 09-21-2016, 02:28 PM
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Wow Rob that is such an accomplishment!! It's quite inspiring to hear how you beat it. I'm very happy for you. That nagging internal voice sounds just like mine. And they're just lies to give in to the beast. You deserve a drink? Err no-We deserve the peace sobriety gives!!

Blackbirdfly-welcome, lovely to have you here! Keep posting and chatting. It can get you through some dark times.

Just closing out day 1. Roll on day 2. Looking forward to reading the posts as soon as I wake up!
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Old 09-21-2016, 02:45 PM
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Well done Rob, don't let the beast win, proud of you
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Old 09-21-2016, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.
You really did it- this is amazing and wonderful and very inspiring- thank you so much for sharing and I am very proud of you
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Old 09-21-2016, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by LastDrinks View Post
Thanks everyone for your posts - reading them has helped a lot.

For those interested, today is the last day of the Mercury Retrograde cycle. Time for new beginnings tomorrow.
Thank heavens- it's been a nightmare!
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Old 09-21-2016, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates. I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates. Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!
ASTOUNDING and truly inspirational, what an amazing story. Congratulations, your first real test and you succeeded absolutely marvellous.
Well done!
Elle👏
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Old 09-21-2016, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.

I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates.

Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!
Amazing man! Thanks for sharing that!
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Old 09-21-2016, 03:50 PM
  # 252 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.

I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates.

Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!
Wow. I just blew my day 4 and best streak and have to start over. I wish I had checked this before and read this post. This is the EXACT process and feeling I experienced but folded. Do Crossfit tomorrow it said, Make tonight fun it said. Damn it. Grrrrrrrrrrr.

But we are getting back up tomorrow with some new tools and a reminder to check SR in a moment of weakness.

I f'd up my streak tonight but I can do this.
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:03 PM
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Day 11 for me I think.
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:08 PM
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I'm in. September 13th was my day one.
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:10 PM
  # 255 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rob65 View Post
I am on day 12 and almost blew it. Strongest craving I've had yet. I had strong cravings on days 2, 3, 4... but then they started to subside. And each day got better. This afternoon, I started having a very strong craving to drink an it kept getting more, and more intense. I tried to chase it away by doing things and trying not to think about it. I was out running errands and before you knew it, I was sitting in the liquor store parking lot. I had decided that the only way to get the feeling to go away was to have some drinks. I had convinced myself that I had gone 12 days and deserved a break. I know....crazy thoughts. I actually sat in my car in the parking lot watching people go in and out. I wanted to drink so bad....but I also wanted to get to day 13 and not have to start over at day 1 again tomorrow. I mustered up enough strength and willpower to pull out of the parking lot without going in. I drove straight home, put some music on, poured me a La Croix sparkling water, and sat down to type this and read updates from some of my fellow September classmates.

I can push the occasional thoughts of wanting a drink out of my head and have done so the past several days. But this thought of drinking was more like a giant hand nudging me towards the liquor store while whispering in my ear to "go ahead....you deserve it....it will taste and feel wonderful". I just started thinking about how good I've been feeling lately. How positive and upbeat I've been. How it's felt waking up sober and without guilt. That got me through. I'm glad SR is here and I'm thankful for my classmates.

Thanks for listening (reading). I know that you all understand how hard this is. Stay strong and sober classmates !!

YMMV I've learned to accept my craving instead of fighting it away and it tends to actually recede faster! Fighting it eggs it on, once you accept it the cravings lose some power (for me anyway).
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:13 PM
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i'll be hitting 1 year in october, just a little bit to go, i've read stories of people relapsing right before they hit the 1 year mark, i'm keeping myself on alert.

just stay sober guys, the months pass by like nothing, I can hardly believe it's already been a year...
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by OfEpiphany View Post
i'll be hitting 1 year in october, just a little bit to go, i've read stories of people relapsing right before they hit the 1 year mark, i'm keeping myself on alert.

just stay sober guys, the months pass by like nothing, I can hardly believe it's already been a year...
Nice job! Thanks for the encouragement.
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
That nagging internal voice sounds just like mine. And they're just lies to give in to the beast. You deserve a drink? Err no-We deserve the peace sobriety gives!!
I hear you there. That self-talk is a killer - it's hard to switch it around but I think it's the key . I drank to switch off my thoughts, now I have to change my thoughts to switch off the drinking. Ironic right.
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:59 PM
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Rob65 -- count me among those who are impressed that you came so close to caving and still said NO. Now you know you have that strength.

Martin1 -- 11 days is a great string! You're getting it done buddy! Please stick around and keep posting and I'll be in touch too.

Sadsadgirl, Windancer -- Just wishing you both strength. It's such a cliche but I think there is a lot to be said for getting through "one day at a time."

Eventhorizons -- you love presentations?! Yes, you are a weirdo. It takes one to know one. Keep your eyeball where it belongs. :-P

bblackbirdflyy -- There's strength (and sobriety!) in numbers, I say, so welcome to you!

Red300Hemi -- I wish I were so close to the ocean!

CutenGayYay -- hope it was a great birthday for you -- here's to many more!

For everyone else, stay strong and please stick around!

I have had some of what I'm going to call "flash cravings." Here for just an instant and then gone. But last night I was looking through a Food Network magazine and there was a close-up of this very refreshing-looking fruity cocktail and a quote from a celebrity chef -- "This cocktail float makes the gin lover in me happy." And for a second my AV said, "There is no WAY that you're never going to drink again." Maybe that's true. What I KNOW is true is that that voice is fleeting and I can't trust it -- sitting here now I don't feel that way. In any case I don't have to think about "forever," I am generally better off thinking about TODAY.

I think I'm going to make myself a luscious grilled cheese later.

That's it for now -- have a great and sober day and night, everybody.
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Old 09-21-2016, 05:19 PM
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Welcome TeKink and welcome back MyLadder

Here are some links I found useful for negative self talk, guys

Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk - Mayo Clinic
Change Your Inner Talk From Negative To Positive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=XYaqdRLHqq0

D
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