HelenofTroy

Sunflower your situation sounds very stressful. I'm wondering if you can have a chat with hubby when moods are calmer about telling his friend he can't have booze in your house. If you are both trying to quit drinking it seems like a reasonable request. May also have the side effect of shortening his visit

Sunflowerlife

Thanks Helen-- that is a good idea. The problem is I can't talk to him without blowing up anymore. We are at our breaking point as a couple and its apparent that I am unable to have a conversation without getting mad. Hopefully therapy will help us. I did tell him last night that he can just tell his friend that we are doing a cleanse or something and aren't drinking. He said he would do that after he gets here. Then this morning I told him I don't think this is the best time to have guests. Plus I don't want to be responsible for cooking and entertaining. The worst part is that in his texts he said he wanted to look at apartments while he was down here
Which means my husband has pretty much offered him a job at the store he currently runs. (I didn't mention this part earlier but he had been texting him about a job for a month now yet this morning made it sound like it wasn't a big deal .) DH doesn't admit to this either. It's like he lives in a different world than the rest of is.
Anyway it will all work out one way or another. I appreciate the support and input.

Caramel

Take care, Sunflowerlife - hope you feel well again soon. Peace to you.

Red300Hemi

September 17th was my day one...again.
My original day one was 06/07/08 and I thought that was pretty cool!
I'm just glad I have not used today

LastDrinks

Hello, hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected. Day 8 now and things getting a bit better. It's strange seeing things through a new perspective as I've never done this before.

Instead of trying to dismiss the intense cravings and pretend they will magically disappear with the things I've been doing to try and replace them, I've realised the stark reality. Instead I have been trying to get to know them and in a weird way embrace them and run with them as my retribution for the endless list of bad things I've done while drunk. Sounds strange, but has worked so far. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer so to speak.

Good luck all.

Pinky1

Hang in there sunflower
Good luck everyone just checking in before I go to bed. Another sober day 😊

Dee74

(((SFL)))

Here are some ideas on relief and respite in a healthy way:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

Red300Hemi

About the cravings, what works for me is not giving them the time of day. When I have one, I tell it to get the hell outta my head, and it does!
I don't let the cravings have any power whatsoever.

Disonant

Day 3, feeling ok. Glad I posted about me wanting to drink last saturday, even though I gave in. Looking back, I didn't give in to the urge to drink, I planned on drinking from when I woke up. I'm also glad that I returned to SR right away and didn't seclude myself and continue drinking like I did in late july.
I haven't liked myself or the way I've been leading my life for quite some years now. Im hoping with abstaining from alcohol will help heal my thinking and actions so that I can be a person I like and can be proud of. I want to stay sober so I can meet that person and maybe be able to share that person with others. Let's do this.
So basically a plan is ,"instead of giving in to the urge to drink I'm going to do _____ instead". Is that right? So I need to write down a list of things that I can do instead, and instead of thinking about what I can do I need to get off my butt and do them. Is this correct? Until hopefully the urge passes.
I've also read where someone was timing how long the urge to drink lasts, and over time it subsides. I think I should try that too.

Thanks everyone. It really helps to see all your posts, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sunflowerlife

I love this--it's a great motivator to stay sober. Keep up the good work Disonant!

EventHorizons

Good work dissonant. You sound loads better than last time we heard from you.

I wish I could say the same for myself. Today was two weeks for me, so I guess I should be happy about that... so why do I feel like such **** today??

It's not like anything actually happened to me or went wrong. I just feel like everything caved in on me today... like a rogue wave of sadness and deapair washed over and I'm not sure why.

I'm trying to be much more aware of my triggers and be aware of themy, and ride them out as best I can. It's like looking on the horizon and seeing dark storm clouds coming in. You can't stop it, but at least you can put up an umbrella and seek shelter.

Today was like crossing the street on a sunny day and getting hit by a truck. Was I not looking? Did I miss something?

I don't know if I stayed sober out of sheer willpower or just something of a sober inertia. I'd say it doesn't matter, but it does matter to me because that's how I learn and defend myself better next time.

I still feel like ****, and don't know why really. But like I said, it feels awful.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is fine, and congratulations to everyone who weathered their own storms today.

EH

LastDrinks

That is great to hear and I can't wait until I can be like that too. I guess we are all different and what works for one person doesn't work for another. This is probably the same with the reasons and triggers why we all ended up here too.

Dee74

Hi EH

not to dismay anyone but it took me around 30 days to start to feel 'ok'.
Time varies on this, but improvement will happen - I promise

D

LastDrinks

Do you ever sometimes feel like a drink now Dee?

Dee74

No, honestly not

The last time was a few years back when I developed nerve pain and I was half-mad with it, always in pain, not sleeping.

I had the 3am thought that maybe a drink might put me to sleep and somehow the rest might reset things.

I slapped my inner addict around a bit and was fine when I woke up the following morning.

Eventually, with my doctor, I found something that helped for the nerve pain.

For a guy who drank all day everyday for the last 5 years of active addiction and could barely go 2 days without alcohol, I think that's some kind of miracle right there...

and I think it's a miracle any one of us can have happen

D

MyLadder

If I can get through 4, it will be best streak in 2 years. Tomorrow is a stressful day at work and Wednesday is typically the day I fold, but my plan is to make it to CrossFit after work through hell or high water, even leaving work early if need be.

If I can get there, I will be forced to suffer through it, will feel awful then amazing after, then will have no desire. Plus I'm too hot and sweaty to go in a bar lol. It works and destroys the cravings for the rest of the day.

Day 4....Wednesday...I'm coming to get you. It's on.

Red300Hemi

We are all unique, with something in common.
However we stay clean and sober, is the right way

LastDrinks

Congratulations on your journey and thanks for sharing Dee - it is very encouraging to hear. Some people that quit I've spoken to say they still think about a drink sometimes but many others like you say they don't.

Heck my Dad worked at a brewery for 30 years and the last 3 years there he quit drinking - that would be a living hell. Somehow he did it, and now he says he sometimes feels like a drink but it's very rare and not at all hard to resist.

Guess there's hope for everyone.

HelenofTroy

Hi September gang! I made it through day 15. Had a bit of a craving tonight, I was hungry because the contractors didn't leave until 9pm so I was starving! But I'm fine. Going to hit the sack. Hang in there - we got this!

LastDrinks

Good luck man and damn, CrossFit is intense! That would definitely wear you out and help with any sleeping issues.