fgo

I understand jodc. You wouldn't know it by my posts, but I am a very private person. I just know it helps me right now to open up. Do what it takes, if you keep your mind open you'll find the answers. Not always where you thought they would be.

fgo

bexxed,,,
You are a great writer, you have a way with the written word. Thank you.
A-Team, if you haven't read bexxed's Thread, "Memories of the liquor store cashier", It is worth reading, its on the newcomers forum. It really hit home with me, It was me. Thanks Bexxed. Gotta work.

Ooona

So hey, whats up??? Our BIG group has gotten much smaller and I sometimes wonder what everyone is up to? I truly pray for every single person who is posting, reading, visiting or contemplating joining SR or embracing the possibility of recovery! The sad reality though is that not everyone is going to 'get it', I think I heard a statistic one time that only 1 in 60 people would still be sober at one year. That is a TERRIFYING. This IS a life or death situation, I try to keep that in the forefront of my mind, none of us are guaranteed another relapse, another slip. There was a time when I really didnt care if I lived or died. I mean, I wasnt making a plan to end my life but I. Just. Didnt. Care. PERIOD. Today, I can truly say that I want to live, not only just live but I want to LIVE, ya know what I mean?
The last 46 days of being sober is a gift, one that has so graciously been given to me and one that I am so protective of! Im not going to allow not one single event or person to take that away from me. Im going to cherish, protect, surround myself with and fight like a wild banjee if it is in jeopardy! Yeowwza! Its crazy, I am FINALLY treating myself as I have always treated others. The idea of fighting for my recovery ( fighting the enemy in whatever form it takes) is a foreign thing for me. I was always much better at standing up for others rather then what was best for me.

Im rambling this morning but regardless, just reflecting on an internal change and making my daily commitment to remain on guard and to fight whatever external or internal force that wants to make me one of the many who are still out there sick and suffering.

Prayers for all your continued success!!

sadsadgirl

Hi Oona, yeah I'm one of those dirty relapsers. But I'm fixing that-just trying to keep on checking in here. I've just had a huge cry. I feel like everything is so difficult. I am rubbish at self care. I just seem to slip into days of not washing or eating and it causes major prelapse for me. My plan this evening though is to try and start with a hot bath, a little food and a big sleep, ready for whatever day 3 brings. I feel so down today, everything has unraveled so quickly because of this last relapse. I'm really at the point of losing it all. I have nowhere else to turn except for you lovely folk on here. Sorry if I'm being super selfish and making it all about me, but I'm finding it hard to get perspective

Ooona

******{sadsadgirl********. How about starting with some positive self talk , like for instance you are sober today! You are doing what needs to be done today! You are practicing self care today! You havent disappeared, your not in a gutter or a dark dirty dingy bar. Start being kind to yourself!

Belief me when I say that I am just one sip away from falling over into the abyss and I am well aware of that, Im not even going to f around with that enemy of mine as I know it kiks my arse each and everytime! I am tired of getting my butt kicked so today Im just choosing to not even get back into the ring...and seems like you're in the same place! Good for us for loving ourselves enough today !

Caramel

((ssgirl)) - make it all about you, you deserve to nurture and be kind to yourself.
We're here for you and your days will get brighter xx

fgo

Ssg, I second what Ooona said. If there is any time in your life to be selfish, it's right now. Get through the next couple days however you can. Don,t argue with your AV, ignore it. It's doable..

sadsadgirl

Oh guys, I love this thread. You're all so amazing! Oona, caramel, finallygotout-you're words have made me cry they're so nice!! I'm very good at thinking of the negative, but you're right-today has been good because I worked, I ate and I haven't drank. I get to enjoy a lovely sober nights sleep. That is something to be proud about right?

fgo

Ssg, ( not gonna use sadsadgirl)
Your right, it's the little things in the beginning, they add up. I still feel like I'm mentally floating in space, but I smile knowing it will get better. Everything from the inside out slowly has. Hope you get some good sleep, even if it's rough it's better than going to bed drunk.. T

Julia8

SuperSensationalGirl - I know how you feel - I felt so down and crying and hating everything on both of my day 2's. In just a few days you will be feeling worlds better. Just keep moving forward. And do take care of yourself.

Ooona - great to hear from you - loved your post!

I'm getting my energy back! Doing crazy things like vacuuming under the couch cushions.

Happy afternoon, all.

cwood3

Day 34......still going

Ultramarathoner

Keep up the activity folks!

When looking for August 2014 I nearly always click on your group first since it's always at the top.

Keep up the activity and support!

Elle126

Literally want to die right now gone into compulsive love addiction and obsession. Look at his wedding photos compare myself to her and am so lacking. Hate myself right now. What a waste of space. Daughter has friends round and they r drinking in kitchen. Av telling me to wait til they go to bed and clean up.
Have I told you I hate FB rant all those likes and messages from people he doesn't know.
Do people Change? Why do I try when rewards him X

Elicia08

Elle, dear, why are you even torturing yourself by looking at that crap? You do not pale in comparison and you are not a waste of space. And honestly, you have no idea what kind of skeletons she has in her closet or what their relationship is really like now or what it will be in the future. Focus on YOU!! You are doing a brave, wonderful thing for yourself by giving up the booze. Everything will keep getting better if you can stay off of it. Hang in there, sweetie!!

Bexxed--I love what you write and will definitely have to check out your thread. Can't respond to everything now because I'm on my phone but I will try in the morning....

SuperSexyGirl--lol. That's a good name!! Don't beat yourself up. The alcohol has already done that for you. So just like you said--have a hot bath, a bite to eat, and some good sleep. Then post to us in the morning and let us know how much better you feel.

Everyone!!--I love this thread. Love it, love it, love it. Want to write more but I'm pooped. Just got back from a sober dinner with friends and now I've a date with my stretchy pants, my couch, and my Netflix. And some snuggles with my pooch. Have a busy weekend planned with family but I will check in periodically. Keep on keepin on, peeps!!

Xoxo,
Eli

Dee74

I agree with Elicia Elle.

You really have no idea what your ex's realtionship is like or what is in store for them in their marriage.

If your story is like mine (and there;'s no reason why it can't be) a little recovery time will see you grow and change and embark on many new and wonderful things.

It's likely one of those things will be a new love.

Get off FB - you're only beating yourself up - for no good reason.

D

kgirl41

These are the BEST moments of sobriety. I bet it felt so good to be there for him. I bet it felt better than drunk ever felt

Findec

Posting in the new thread Yay! Today is my 26th day sober! Getting alot of exercise in and starting to lose weight and eating healthy! Life is becoming so much better. Still alot of emotions but things are definitely looking way better Peace and as always We got this A-Team!

kgirl41

I'm here B! I try to get out here when I can and I'm happy to see you are still doing well

kgirl41

Elle, let's not forget that FB is a highlight reel. It's not real life and doing this comparing thing is terrible for your soul!! In fact, part of my recovery plan is getting off of facebook. They are actually finding it causes depression because people make these comparisons and feel inadequate. You are YOU Elle, there is no other Elle out there and that is a beautiful thing. Try to put your ex in your past and move on with your life. You have no idea what the future holds for you and expending all this negative energy on him could be better spent working on your recovery. Try this, try to stay off facebook for 24 hours. Do something nice for yourself, get a pedicure, or take a hot bubble bath. Go for a walk. Look for the beauty all around you its everywhere. After the break from FB, reflect on how you feel. I bet you will find you feel so much better without all that negativity.

Aint nobody got time for that!!

And stay here with us so we can build you up. You deserve it

sweetichick

Hey Everyone I'm back on day 4. Elle I agree you are not a waste of space. I just found out my ex went back to his ex of 2 years ago. Don't compare yourself to her. They may not even last that long even if he is married. I know it hurts, I'm hurting a lot right now. I'm also a bit obsessed with what he is doing but keep telling myself just to wipe him from my mind and get on doing other things. Its not always working though. Hope you feel better soon.