Dee74

Welcome back StartingOverNW and sadsadgirl

congrats on your milestones Treebeard finallygotout NT MidnightRider & Bexxed

Elicia08

So good to see you all! I'm kinda tired and cranky but I'm still sober so it's all good. Waiting on bf for dinner and feeling a little neglected but I think that's my selfish AV talking. Anyway--looking forward to a sober evening and an early bedtime. Hang in there everyone! We're in this together!!

Elle126

Hi fellow Augustians just checking in to say goodnight sober.... Took today 1hr at a time and I got through it somehow.... Higher power probably. So proud of you all doing so well and for any returners, I'm proud of you too... You came clean and got right back on the bus..... Fantastic. Hugs to all. Elle❤️

Zanna

Just gone 12.30 am - went to sleep at 10 pm and had a stupid drinking nightmare Sat bolt upright in the bed and had tears running down my face, until I realised it was only a dream. So thankful for SR, as imagine posting THAT on Facebook!
Anyhow going to just hover around for an hour or so and calm back down.
Hugs to all x x x

bexxed

Oh! I had a drinking nightmare a few nights ago. I'd forgotten about it until I read your post. I was drinking red wine out of a juice glass. Probably a bottle or so. Then in the dream I was trying to sleep and couldn't, and remembered how awful sleeping is when you go to bed drunk, and was really mad at myself. Woke up thinking it was real, until I realized it wasn't. Went back to sleep and slept like a baby.

I was so thankful.

Elicia08

Needed another check in with my peeps. That's what y'all are, ya know--MY PEEPS!! Anyway... Feeling a little melancholy at the moment. Part of it is because I'm so dang tired and can't sleep. Purposefully set an alarm to get up early this morning so I could get to sleep tonight, but it wasn't happening. Just can't get the brain to shut off. Used to force myself to stay in bed for at least and hour before I'd give up but now I only wait 30 minutes. If no sleep, I get up and do something for a little while. It's frustrating, but it is what it is... Bf is going out of town for the weekend so that has me a little down in the dumps too. I've made plans with family so I won't sit at home alone, but I'll still miss him. Probably doesn't help that I know he'll be drinking a lot with his buddies. No women around so no worries there (not that I would worry about that anyway), but I still get feelings of jealousy about other people getting to "party" when I know I can't. I can combat those feelings though by remembering how awful it was for me at the end of my drinking. I've had some damn good times already since getting sober so I know it can be done, my brain just still goes to the pangs of regret first though. I imagine that will get better with time. Babbling now, but just getting it out has already made me feel better and somehow I know y'all understand where I'm coming from...

The moon is absolutely beautiful tonight, by the way. Had to come out and sit on my porch swing to write this so I could see it. Anybody else looking at it too? Not quite full, but our sky is crystal clear tonight so it's very bright.

Hope y'all are doing well. So wonderful to see our latest installment starting out so strong! Love y'all!!!

Talk to you in the morning. Gonna go watch some tv until I finally fall asleep...

Quincy

Hi A-Team. It's great and inspiring to see so many doing well and to see those that have relapsed return so quickly and with a re-newed vengeance. Practice make perfect.

I've been fortunate to not have had too many struggles over the last month once past the first week or so. I think it is because I spent the last year contemplating very hard and frequently that I did NOT want to drink anymore so once I made the decision to quit and cleared my mind and body of the direct presence of alcohol things somewhat fell into place a little easier for me.

I don't believe I would have made it the first week or so without your support and SR as a whole. This is a great place and you are great people. I am grateful to have found you and still come to this site everyday as part of my plan and to learn more, support others and stay in tune with my sobriety. I know from reading here that complacency can be a recipe for disaster and I realize I am still in the very beginning stages of recovery.

One other thing I wanted to share to possibly help others still getting used to sobriety is that most of my life I was very active and had all kinds of hobbies and interests. However, once alcohol turned on me and was no longer fun I also lost interest in most of my hobbies and activities. They just didn't seem appealing anymore or they required to much planning, preparation and energy to do.

Part of my plan was to FORCE myself to engage in these activities one by one to keep myself occupied and fill the void of time and space left behind now that I wasn't drinking. It wasn't easy, but I forced myself to do it and I found one by one, once engaged in one of the activities how good I felt and how much I missed doing it. It almost felt like a gift to experience these things again. Almost feels like they are better than they were before. You may want to give it a try.

Wow. Long post from a "man of few words". Take care and good night or good day depending on where you call home.

fgo

It is great to see all of the posts here today, go A-team.
reason #2,500 I'm glad I'm sober.. I got a call from my sons soccer coach tonight, my son fractured his ankle at practice . I had to pick him up and take him to the ER. Poor kid, he is out for the rest of the season, but he had a sober dad to be there for him. Night all.

Caramel

finallygotout - glad you were able to be there for your son: hope he makes a good recovery.

bexxed

^^^all of this. Thank you, Quincy of few words. You have very good words to share.



B

Elle126

Morning Augustians, just checking in happy to see you all forging ahead. After a couple of tough days am feeling more serene and hopeful today. Went to a meeting last night and got so much support from the group, I just Gotta keep putting my stuff out there, helps to release the pain.
V busy day today, have a friend moving in with me today, we've know each other since we were 16 and she's just bought a flat that needs refurbishing so will stay here for around 4 months. She flies so will not be around all of the time which I think is a good thing.
My daughter is an absolute joy, it's so wonderful to hear laughter in the house, she's having friends to stay for the next few days, just glorious to have the house full of energy and enthusiasm for life.
Had many long chats with her and she has revealed many instances when my ex was mean to her, things she did not tell me because she thought either I wouldn't care or it would lead to an argument with him and I would suffer the consequences. Oh my lord, feel very guilty about that and will make thorough amends to her when I do my step 9 and daily amends by staying sober and being present for her.
I cannot change the past but I can make the future better.
Have a great day everyone, am loving all of your threads and your amazing honesty, thank you for helping me to stay sober.
Elle❤️

Zanna

Morning all Just a quick sign in, as overslept this morning . Keep on, keeping on..soberly x

Julia8

Elicia - yes, I know EXACTLY where youre coming from! I am jealous of your porch swing.

Thanks, Quincy. I've been the same with hobbies n stuff. What hobbies are you getting back into?

Your post made me smile, Elle - so relieved you are feeling a bit better.

Happy Thursday, A-team. Love you all!

sadsadgirl

Day 2 is horrible guys. Why have I done it to myself again?

bexxed

I did it to myself because I'm an alcoholic. You are really committed to come back. That's the part I always missed. I would drink and disappear from this forum because I didn't want to admit to others because my AV would tell me I let them down so why bother. You came back which is so good.

Be good to yourself. Day 2 really sucks. You can make it your last one! You know what to do.

Elicia08

So sorry you are feeling so lousy. No need to ask why you did it--you are an alcoholic. That's what we do to ourselves when we are in active addiction. Time to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and seek your sobriety with renewed conviction. Beat it over the head, girl!!!



You got this. Keep posting and talk to us BEFORE you take that drink!

jodc

I've been w/o my computer for a couple of days... I use this thing so much that it is quite unsettling to be without it; however, I did have business to take care of and a birthday gift to get in the mail for my granddaughter so its all good.

I'm not doing well with abstaining...I'm CONTROLLING it but I know that's just not good.
I did call about a local women's meeting but haven't gone - don't know what to say outside of that.

I'm going to venture into more creative parts of this site - poetry, music, blogging maybe... I need to express myself and I struggle with just commenting, let alone actually sharing my thoughts, feelings, challenges, etc.

Thank you all for being here!

fgo

Good Morning everyone,
Guess its an official month today for myself & Neverthought & Who else, I know I'm Missing someone? I'm kinda with Neverthought on the counting thing, Its just another amazing day without alchohol. I will never drink again. It makes me smile that I am sober 31 days, but it makes me smile more I am sober today.
Quincy,,, I Think you nailed the sober thing for me. All of my thoughts turned to drinking, and nothing got in the way. I remember telling my GF, ( I lost to alchohol). If I quit going to the gym, you'll know I started drinking. I knew myself that well. I quit going to the gym.
Happy to say everyone, I am back going to the gym. Kinda like getting sober, it hurts in the beginning. But, it is a happy hurt. It motivates me to do other things I've tried to drown.
SadSadgirl,,, I am so glad to see you back, also glad to see you in the September class with others that I recognize. Your doing what it takes for you, Awsome. Now, maybe I'm overstepping my bounds here, I know some people have changed your name to alot of happy ones, maybe that would help? Just another step in the right direction. Just a thought.
Thank everyone, as Elicia said, your my peeps.

bexxed

Zanna: Oversleeping sounds wonderful! ;p Hope you have a good day though despite the fast start.

Elle: thanks for the reminder: we can’t change the past, only the future. I have thought about how my relationship with alcohol changed relationships with people who I really loved, some who aren’t here any longer to make a future with. I have to let it go and work with what I have. That will help to build new opportunities for the right choices. Thanks for reinforcing that with your story about your daughter.

Quincy: I was too tired last night to do more than give an accolade for your very helpful post. Today I want to say that what you’re doing is very similar to my plan. I’m remembering who and how I was before. I mean, I’m the same person, but I DID things. Alcohol helps us to not do things, but rather to just talk about them. I was a busy person, and inspired by a lot of things! I loved to read, I went for long walks, I painted, drew, wrote poetry, and participated in community theater. I also played the guitar, which I taught myself, and have to say I was quite good, although I came to think I wasn’t very good. I would get bored and put on music and dance in my living room all by myself! It sounds so simple but it really blew my mind when I was reading about how alcoholics stop maturing emotionally when they start drinking. Around the same time I found a picture of myself my last year of high school, and I’m using that picture to help me. It’s silly because I now pay bills, maintain a home, drive a car, and have a demanding job, but there’s a bright girl in that picture that is really still me, who is perfectly capable of doing all those things and running the ship to get sober, because the last thing she would have thought she’d do is drink herself to the place I got to. I know for sure, because I know her best. ☺ So, I loved your “wordy” post.

FGO: Ouch! I hope your son heals quickly. And I’m glad you were able to be there for him. You’re right, we never know when we will get a call that is important, and it’s so good to be there for the people we love.

Elicia: that’s right! We are each others’ PEEPS. <3 Do you have good plans for the weekend your bf is away? It’s hard to romanticize that old life. They talk about HALT. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired, being the thing to watch out for for relapse. If you’re lonely and tired, come here maybe and chat? I think I was HALT-ing the other night while I was sleeping; I dreamed I put away a bottle of wine drinking from a juice glass, and while there were people in my dream, it was so real: I wasn’t really connecting with them, the way I didn’t really connect with people when I drank. I drank to drink, not to connect really. It was about me, getting drunk, to isolate. Then I’d just cut out the middleman and drink, isolated, from myself. Crappy place to be. Sitting on the porch in Georgia and looking at the moon sounds wonderful, though. Hope you get some good sleep coming up though. Is tonight the harvest moon? I read on facebook that it’s an eclipse this year?

Country Girl: Good on you for telling!!! How’d it work out? How are you???

Julia: Hope you have/had good days off!!!! ☺

Neverthought!!! 30 days!!! You rock. ☺

SSG: As I said above, kudos for coming back!!! You can do it.

I hope I remembered everybody. We have a great group here and I’ve been reading everybody’s posts everyday but don’t always have the time and space to respond the way I want to, so am trying that out today. Missing k-girl, where is she? I know Mr. P is on a holiday.

I’m good, am away for work again… Last night my boss-ish person wanted to get a drink at the hotel bar, which is code of course for wanting to talk, and I’d evaded him the first two nights I was here, so came to SR, read, and then went down a little late. He’d already gotten a glass of wine, and ordered a salad, and was thankfully at a little table and not the actual bar. I ordered a soda and lime and brought it to the table. He asked what it was and I told him, and he looked at me quizzically. I told him that if I have any alcohol it interrupts my sleep badly and I just am really trying to make sure I sleep. At that point a lady nearby who was drinking alone looked at me sharply. That was the only weird part. I drank my water, he had three glasses of wine, started to look pretty drunk and started to say things he probably shouldn’t, then we went to our rooms. The whole affair took about an hour and a half. Today I woke up and started thinking that I can’t be keeping this up forever, and came to SR and remembered that yes I can, one day at a time, I absolutely can. My boss definitely wanted me to have a drink, but accepted when I didn’t. He actually said, “oh, you’re so good.” I feel like I need to just keep doing what I do: work on acceptance and forgiveness and minding my own business and no one else’s, and take every day humbly and with gratitude. Today is 35 days which means five weeks. I feel much better than I did five weeks ago, and better than I have in a very long time, truthfully. I haven’t regretted anything stupid I did when I was sloshed. I have been more present and inwardly I’m honoring parts of myself I’ve neglected for years. I value this community and the nice things I am seeing in the world around me. I’m choosing positivity over negativity, and saying goodbye to drama every day. Thanks all for what you’ve written in this thread, I always see something that makes doubt go flying out the window, and it gets progressively a tiny bit easier with time.

xoxo

B

bexxed

I love this.

And, congrats on your reacquaintance with the gym!!!!