LillianGish

Ditto Suze ~ happy to see you too. The world is a better place with you in it.

I've missed a bunch of roller coaster days. Sending you healing vibes from this corner of the world towards yours.

wpainterw

Thanks Dee. As for me, attempting to post pictures on SR has taught me "the wisdom to know the difference". I am a photographic luddite and shall always be one!

Bill.

LillianGish

Wasn't she the best??!! I did see that movie.

Thank you for the welcome.

wpainterw

Yes, in the movie she came from the South and so wore a sort of Scarlett O'Hara hat. Not the sort of hat one should wear when anticipating "The Wind"! Yes, Gish was my dish! (sorry!)

Bill.

venuscat

Gritting my teeth this afternoon after more family stuff that was upsetting.

But why? I've made my decision.

The answer once again is fear. The (ingrained) belief that I will be punished because I am bad. The black sheep once again, the pariah. All of the 'friends' discussing what a terrible person I am....not my friends. My sisters' friends.

I was thinking about something Dee said:


Now is the time when I would traditionally sabotage myself. Decide that this is too scary, too hard. Start listening to the thoughts that tell me I have no idea what I'm doing....my sister's voice in my head denigrating me.

I am calling myself out on this...and reminding myself that I CHOOSE to live in faith rather than fear.

venuscat

Just love girl....always. And thank you once again for the healing vibes...I need them this afternoon.

I loved Ms Gish as well, and one of my favourite actresses these days is Annabeth Gish. For years I told people she was Lillian's granddaughter....and then I found out that sure, her grandma's name was Lillian, but not that Lillian. Too funny.

venuscat

Good (very early) morning Bill. ♥

Saskia

V, i hadn't seen this thread before either. You are brave in the best way possible!

Kris47

Thank you for posting such a beautiful trumpet lily Bill and Suze.

Did you know that lilies like their head in full sun and their feet firmly planted.

It is that way much the same for us.

Know if you are planted "right" you'll bloom anywhere you are.

Grow and be happy V!

Soberpotamus

Hi, Suze.

My mom was considered the black sheep of our family. She was the 'bad' one. It was very hard for her to live with that after a while. She never got sober for very long either.

Are you seeing the sisters and friends posts on Facebook?

wpainterw

Good morning to you from Big Bad Bill (Massachusetts "Bad Person")- Massachusetts small towns specialize in gossip. We have a long heritage, goes back to the Salem witch hunt days. Weather up here getting colder. Soon it will be time to light up the first witch to keep everyone warm.
Lots of sheep herding down your way I guess. Do they single out the "black sheep" and bad mouth them? Illigitimis non carborundum. ("Don't let the bastards wear you down!"). As for your trip to the U.S., go for it! Get out of Dodge, as they say in the Westerns and go to a few heavy metal gigs, ride on motorcycles with Goat.
As for your sister's friends, I remember my sister used to write me letters saying, "Your poor children! Such lovely little boys! To have a father such as you! Shame!" I once got so angry I took some scissors, cut out the offensive part of the letter to make a big hole and sent it back to her. Big Bad Bill strikes again!

Bill (Dog tries to keep me from further disgracing the family)

Gilmer

Sisters:

EternalNow

[QUOTE="venuscat;6123598"] The answer once again is fear. The (ingrained) belief that I will be punished because I am bad.

Amazing. It is the feeling that punishment is coming that supports my fear. Fear is all about punishment. Perfect love casts out all fear, so I'm told. Because with perfect love there is be no punishment, only acceptance.

EternalNow

Pardon me I got the quote wrong. It is me commenting on fear in the second part not Venus. Nervous fingers move too quickly.

wpainterw

I like your avatar with the ancient tree. I have heard that those trees may be the oldest ones on earth. An icon of survival. Reminds me of Dylan Thomas' " Rage, rage, against the dying of the light." Truly a beautiful poem for his father.

Bill.

venuscat

Late start today ~ I had terrible nightmares and tossed and turned....thank you for staying the journey with me guys...I can do this with your help. ♥

Gilmer

(((Suze)))

venuscat

This is hysterical.

And this is such an awesome post ~ thank you dearest Bill!!! ♥

wpainterw

I too have terrible nightmares. Maybe your doc can help. Often I dream I am late for class and don't know what to say or teach when I arrive. Get lost, alone in dark, deserted streets (cf. T.S. Eliot), wander among large, menacing, deserted mansions, frightened. Wake up and not know which is real, which the dream.

Bill

venuscat

(((Bill))) ♥