Class of April 2014 Part 28
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Wow, Trump!
Far right has more of a voice than anyone thought.
Same here with Hanson, it's going to be an interesting next few years, brexit, trump, Hanson, anyone's guess where we all end up after this.
For mine it's all about wealth distribution, or lack of it.
Far right has more of a voice than anyone thought.
Same here with Hanson, it's going to be an interesting next few years, brexit, trump, Hanson, anyone's guess where we all end up after this.
For mine it's all about wealth distribution, or lack of it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
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Freein,
When the folks working at the facility where your Mum will eventually be staying see how you care for her, .....and you're able to establish some connections with her direct caregivers , ......it'll probably ease up some of the stress of the unknown you feel now.
Finished notching and flashing the small section of eave for the new chimney, but need to put several coats of finish paint on it Thursday before installing the stack . Will start on the interior brick hearth soon !
Sure hope it works out better than what many seem to be visualizing,...for sure.
Freein, ...it's been a long and complicated election season for a pacifist like me, ,....but remaining optimistic Trump may be less dangerous for the rest of the world on his foreign policy, .... it's always a toss up . For some reason ,...the US gov. seems to love dropping bombs that cost one million dollars each in the Middle East .
It's all a bit odious. ( to say the least )
Many here make an analogy of his *surprise* victory to the *surprise* Brexit vote .
World Politics are a little too rough and tumble for me I guess !?
Freein,
When the folks working at the facility where your Mum will eventually be staying see how you care for her, .....and you're able to establish some connections with her direct caregivers , ......it'll probably ease up some of the stress of the unknown you feel now.
Finished notching and flashing the small section of eave for the new chimney, but need to put several coats of finish paint on it Thursday before installing the stack . Will start on the interior brick hearth soon !
Originally Posted by Upward2Enlightenment 
Maybe this is the shakeup the US needs.
Freein, ...it's been a long and complicated election season for a pacifist like me, ,....but remaining optimistic Trump may be less dangerous for the rest of the world on his foreign policy, .... it's always a toss up . For some reason ,...the US gov. seems to love dropping bombs that cost one million dollars each in the Middle East .
It's all a bit odious. ( to say the least )
Many here make an analogy of his *surprise* victory to the *surprise* Brexit vote .
World Politics are a little too rough and tumble for me I guess !?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Strange times indeed.
I seem to have hit a bit of an emotional trough. I'm trying to pull myself together to get ready for work, but my mind won't leave me alone. I'm just too upset about my Mum being in a care home. There are two people in the home (residents, not staff) who seem to be just plain nasty. It seems that not all elderly people are cute and cuddly, some are actually worse than play ground bullies!.
It's not a happy time.
I seem to have hit a bit of an emotional trough. I'm trying to pull myself together to get ready for work, but my mind won't leave me alone. I'm just too upset about my Mum being in a care home. There are two people in the home (residents, not staff) who seem to be just plain nasty. It seems that not all elderly people are cute and cuddly, some are actually worse than play ground bullies!.
It's not a happy time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
I'm just going to do a hard pass on Trump commentary, haha. I will say no one expected this, so maybe he is a genius and will fix everything like he promised, haha.
Obos- Congrats on the new mower and 3 weeks! I too am inept when it comes to anything mechanical, so I feel you there.
UP- I have days where all I can say is "I'm here". They tend to be less and less though. I had to change my perspective from my active addiction days. Drugs and alcohol gave me a temporary reprieve and the illusion things were different from what they were. My solutions today are practicing mindfulness of my feelings: why am I feeling down? Is there a deeper root to this feeling? or I am just having a day? etc. And the idea of impermanence, that both my good and bad days will end helps me cope with the bad days and not always desire everything be good.
Tops- I wouldn't have any idea how to fix a chimney. #impressive
Freein- Transitions are always hard. This one is a big one. Keep on keeping on and reaching out for support from SR!
Well guys, not too much to report here. My professor sent an email last night saying the grades were posted, but mine isn't. So either my paper sucked or they overlooked me. Either way, I sent and email in reply and will see what comes from it. Just got to keep on keeping on, as they say. So I'll start my morning off with a quick guided meditation, light breakfast, and off to work I go. Still in for the bargain.
Obos- Congrats on the new mower and 3 weeks! I too am inept when it comes to anything mechanical, so I feel you there.
UP- I have days where all I can say is "I'm here". They tend to be less and less though. I had to change my perspective from my active addiction days. Drugs and alcohol gave me a temporary reprieve and the illusion things were different from what they were. My solutions today are practicing mindfulness of my feelings: why am I feeling down? Is there a deeper root to this feeling? or I am just having a day? etc. And the idea of impermanence, that both my good and bad days will end helps me cope with the bad days and not always desire everything be good.
Tops- I wouldn't have any idea how to fix a chimney. #impressive
Freein- Transitions are always hard. This one is a big one. Keep on keeping on and reaching out for support from SR!
Well guys, not too much to report here. My professor sent an email last night saying the grades were posted, but mine isn't. So either my paper sucked or they overlooked me. Either way, I sent and email in reply and will see what comes from it. Just got to keep on keeping on, as they say. So I'll start my morning off with a quick guided meditation, light breakfast, and off to work I go. Still in for the bargain.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Fingers crossed that you'll get good news about your final paper, Noolan. You have such a great philosophy on life at the moment. I need to get back to my meditation practice, it's amazing how I seem to neglect these essential practices at the very time I desperately need them!
Week's almost up, I'm most definitely in for the Bargain
Week's almost up, I'm most definitely in for the Bargain
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
(((free)))
Noolan ~ Some of the "I'm here" days are rough but most are just plain old nothing to report, which is good but also a little bad. One of these days I will be happy to report about finding employment ... then you will have to deal with job complaints.
People usually do visualize WORSE than what will happen ... I pray that this is the same. I remember some of the craziness that some were saying would happen when Obama first got elected, we're still here. The bigger problem is people putting fear into their young children, whether on purpose or not. I read on facebook someone saying the morning after the election their child came to them and asked them if this means we are going to war.
The way I see it, the Earth will keep spinning ... come what may.
Hopefully the news casters here are right ... they are questioning if the craziness before the elections was an act, just a show for the masses.
In for the bargain .... also almost 4 weeks smoke free.
Noolan ~ Some of the "I'm here" days are rough but most are just plain old nothing to report, which is good but also a little bad. One of these days I will be happy to report about finding employment ... then you will have to deal with job complaints.
People usually do visualize WORSE than what will happen ... I pray that this is the same. I remember some of the craziness that some were saying would happen when Obama first got elected, we're still here. The bigger problem is people putting fear into their young children, whether on purpose or not. I read on facebook someone saying the morning after the election their child came to them and asked them if this means we are going to war.
The way I see it, the Earth will keep spinning ... come what may.
Hopefully the news casters here are right ... they are questioning if the craziness before the elections was an act, just a show for the masses.
In for the bargain .... also almost 4 weeks smoke free.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
4weeks smoke free, UP! That's FABULOUS 
I agree about the elections, there's always a lot of "play acting" during the run up. What a lot of nonsense it is really.
I'm feeling much better today, we had some good news about a care home yesterday - they have a place for Mum, and it seems to be a caring home. Sea views from the sitting room! We're hoping that she will be able to move there in the next 2 weeks.
Thanks for your support everyone, it has helped enormously - it's odd how much easier it is to talk to you guys/gals than it is to talk to my own family.
UP, I'm looking forward to hearing some complaints from you about your future job - that will be oddly funny
I agree about the elections, there's always a lot of "play acting" during the run up. What a lot of nonsense it is really.
I'm feeling much better today, we had some good news about a care home yesterday - they have a place for Mum, and it seems to be a caring home. Sea views from the sitting room! We're hoping that she will be able to move there in the next 2 weeks.
Thanks for your support everyone, it has helped enormously - it's odd how much easier it is to talk to you guys/gals than it is to talk to my own family.
UP, I'm looking forward to hearing some complaints from you about your future job - that will be oddly funny
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
Freein- That's awesome about your mum! I live in Nebraska, so no sea for thousands of miles; that just sounds lovely.
UP- Keep grinding man. An employment opportunity will come. My temp job will probably end in the next month or so. Hopefully two months. In any case, I get the stress of looking for a job. Your perspective of complaining once you have said job is great.
Well, good news is I got an A in the class. I feel very blessed. I was supposed to conduct an interview for the final project and didn't get one scheduled in time. I made do with what I had and still finished with an A. Bad news is, I cheated myself out of a real learning opportunity.
My academic career was all half efforts and doing just enough. If I want to be an effective therapist, there is no dialing it in. No this will do. So new class starts Monday. Readjust, calibrate and do better.
Tonight I'm going to work out, make a curry, and rest up. Going over to a friends tomorrow to watch football and UFC after I clean my tiny apartment. Life is good and in for the bargain! Oh and another month on the belt is coming up. Stay tuned!
UP- Keep grinding man. An employment opportunity will come. My temp job will probably end in the next month or so. Hopefully two months. In any case, I get the stress of looking for a job. Your perspective of complaining once you have said job is great.
Well, good news is I got an A in the class. I feel very blessed. I was supposed to conduct an interview for the final project and didn't get one scheduled in time. I made do with what I had and still finished with an A. Bad news is, I cheated myself out of a real learning opportunity.
My academic career was all half efforts and doing just enough. If I want to be an effective therapist, there is no dialing it in. No this will do. So new class starts Monday. Readjust, calibrate and do better.
Tonight I'm going to work out, make a curry, and rest up. Going over to a friends tomorrow to watch football and UFC after I clean my tiny apartment. Life is good and in for the bargain! Oh and another month on the belt is coming up. Stay tuned!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
I'm at my Mothers, again.
There's been a huge fight.
I again haven't reacted well to this.
After smoking weed, then talking speed, then drinking bourbon cans I have realistically put myself straight back to square 1.
It's been very hard the past 4 months, I've been white knuckling sobriety with a wife who is driving me mad and a baby who I love more than anything, but she just wont sleep.
So after the last stint down here being 2014, in 2016 I'm back.
I'm very sad, extremely angry and not sure what to do next.......
There's things about my wife I haven't shared with you all here, but she is a massive pot smoker. She has been smoking whilst breast feeding, giving our baby THC each time she smokes a joint.
She's stoned so there's no food, shopping, cleaning, organising anything, not even much conversation, and on top of this the weed is strong, skunk type of thing, it's not just a mild high!
The fight came from this, but I lost control and started yelling at her. Then my mother arrived, out of the blue, and it was on! My mother separated us and I got in the car and drove back here leaving wife and baby out in the country.
Im going to take a few days to get my head sorted down here and figure out what to do next!
Need to share this, it's eating me inside!
Hope the rest of you are faring better than I.......
There's been a huge fight.
I again haven't reacted well to this.
After smoking weed, then talking speed, then drinking bourbon cans I have realistically put myself straight back to square 1.
It's been very hard the past 4 months, I've been white knuckling sobriety with a wife who is driving me mad and a baby who I love more than anything, but she just wont sleep.
So after the last stint down here being 2014, in 2016 I'm back.
I'm very sad, extremely angry and not sure what to do next.......
There's things about my wife I haven't shared with you all here, but she is a massive pot smoker. She has been smoking whilst breast feeding, giving our baby THC each time she smokes a joint.
She's stoned so there's no food, shopping, cleaning, organising anything, not even much conversation, and on top of this the weed is strong, skunk type of thing, it's not just a mild high!
The fight came from this, but I lost control and started yelling at her. Then my mother arrived, out of the blue, and it was on! My mother separated us and I got in the car and drove back here leaving wife and baby out in the country.
Im going to take a few days to get my head sorted down here and figure out what to do next!
Need to share this, it's eating me inside!
Hope the rest of you are faring better than I.......
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry for your situation Obo. I'm sorry for you, your wife & especially little Anna.
I hope you can all get together sort out your crap and be a kickass sober family.
The bottom line for me in my life is there's no behaviour by my loved ones and no resentment big enough or strong enough to make me use or drink again.
I think that has to be your bottom line too.
Sometimes someone's got to take the lead and strike out..mark down a road and hope the other partner follows...
if not then I guess it's time for more introspection.
I'll be praying for you Obo.
D
I hope you can all get together sort out your crap and be a kickass sober family.
The bottom line for me in my life is there's no behaviour by my loved ones and no resentment big enough or strong enough to make me use or drink again.
I think that has to be your bottom line too.
Sometimes someone's got to take the lead and strike out..mark down a road and hope the other partner follows...
if not then I guess it's time for more introspection.
I'll be praying for you Obo.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Obo, it does sound like a good idea to get some rest at your mum's. You're dealing with in incredibly difficult situation. Trying to work out the best way forward, whilst you're in the thick of things yourself is nigh on impossible. You're own sobriety seems to be the obvious priority? How could you put a laser like focus on that? So much focus that you know you will succeed? What professional support is available?
You can be the catalyst for big changes in your family, but you have to clear your own head first, otherwise you'll miss this opportunity. Annie's is still so young, things could be wonderfully different for her in just one year's time, probably even less time than that! Sometimes it takes just a small pebble to set off an avalanche. It's just a matter of trying lots of pebbles until you find the one that rolls best.
Keep moving forward, Obo, there's so much life ahead of you. Know that we're here for you for as long as it takes. Love to you and your beautiful family <3
You can be the catalyst for big changes in your family, but you have to clear your own head first, otherwise you'll miss this opportunity. Annie's is still so young, things could be wonderfully different for her in just one year's time, probably even less time than that! Sometimes it takes just a small pebble to set off an avalanche. It's just a matter of trying lots of pebbles until you find the one that rolls best.
Keep moving forward, Obo, there's so much life ahead of you. Know that we're here for you for as long as it takes. Love to you and your beautiful family <3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
Originally Posted by obosob
Made it through a tough weekend.
It's hard out here.....
Need to catch up on all posts from you guys.....
Internet off and on....
Move to the country they said.....
Hope all are well, glad you re safe Tops!
It's hard out here.....
Need to catch up on all posts from you guys.....
Internet off and on....
Move to the country they said.....
Hope all are well, glad you re safe Tops!
Originally Posted by obosob
I'm at my Mothers, again.
There's been a huge fight.
I again haven't reacted well to this.
After smoking weed, then talking speed, then drinking bourbon cans I have realistically put myself straight back to square 1.
It's been very hard the past 4 months, I've been white knuckling sobriety with a wife who is driving me mad and a baby who I love more than anything, but she just wont sleep.
So after the last stint down here being 2014, in 2016 I'm back.
I'm very sad, extremely angry and not sure what to do next.......
There's things about my wife I haven't shared with you all here, but she is a massive pot smoker. She has been smoking whilst breast feeding, giving our baby THC each time she smokes a joint.
She's stoned so there's no food, shopping, cleaning, organising anything, not even much conversation, and on top of this the weed is strong, skunk type of thing, it's not just a mild high!
The fight came from this, but I lost control and started yelling at her. Then my mother arrived, out of the blue, and it was on! My mother separated us and I got in the car and drove back here leaving wife and baby out in the country.
Im going to take a few days to get my head sorted down here and figure out what to do next!
Need to share this, it's eating me inside!
Hope the rest of you are faring better than I.......
There's been a huge fight.
I again haven't reacted well to this.
After smoking weed, then talking speed, then drinking bourbon cans I have realistically put myself straight back to square 1.
It's been very hard the past 4 months, I've been white knuckling sobriety with a wife who is driving me mad and a baby who I love more than anything, but she just wont sleep.
So after the last stint down here being 2014, in 2016 I'm back.
I'm very sad, extremely angry and not sure what to do next.......
There's things about my wife I haven't shared with you all here, but she is a massive pot smoker. She has been smoking whilst breast feeding, giving our baby THC each time she smokes a joint.
She's stoned so there's no food, shopping, cleaning, organising anything, not even much conversation, and on top of this the weed is strong, skunk type of thing, it's not just a mild high!
The fight came from this, but I lost control and started yelling at her. Then my mother arrived, out of the blue, and it was on! My mother separated us and I got in the car and drove back here leaving wife and baby out in the country.
Im going to take a few days to get my head sorted down here and figure out what to do next!
Need to share this, it's eating me inside!
Hope the rest of you are faring better than I.......
I'm sorry you're struggling with a partner who may be in active addiction. I too white knuckled many attempts at sobriety and even put months together. Looking back on those moments now, it wasn't a healthy living situation for me. I had to let go of so much; I had to drop the rock I had been carrying for so long.
My blueprint and advice is to get honest. Figure out what serves you and what detracts from your life. Keep the good stuff and **** the bad stuff. Build a foundation you can rely on and then you can deal with whatever life throws at you. Lastly, SR is hear to exercise demons. Share something if it's eating you up. I harbored so much, pain, fears, and inadequacies for so long. Letting go of all that set me free. Much love, man.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 372
Thanks for the congrats! It feels good to have an A, but I have to remind myself I was lucky. Going to do better this go around, well at least try to.
I just spent an hour or so reading through my old posts. It's crazy to go back to when all of this started. It was a positive experience overall. I don't have any regrets. I had to relapse over and over. It was part of the process for me. It eliminated the thought I could ever use again.
Anyways, happy Saturday! I'm in for the bargain.
I just spent an hour or so reading through my old posts. It's crazy to go back to when all of this started. It was a positive experience overall. I don't have any regrets. I had to relapse over and over. It was part of the process for me. It eliminated the thought I could ever use again.
Anyways, happy Saturday! I'm in for the bargain.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
I'm so sorry to hear what's going on obo, thoughts and prayers for you, baby Anna and your wife. I really don't know what to say, no easy solution to this situation.
I hope there is some professional help available to you. The best thing you can do is to try and get yourself straightened out, then you can try to figure out the rest. I really hope you seek professional help ... your situation is much more complicated than most.
Congrats Noolan, sounds like you are working on a good plan for the future.
I hope there is some professional help available to you. The best thing you can do is to try and get yourself straightened out, then you can try to figure out the rest. I really hope you seek professional help ... your situation is much more complicated than most.
Congrats Noolan, sounds like you are working on a good plan for the future.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
It's a cold bleak Sunday morning here.
The dust has settled, leaving a sense of clarity as to how many problems we as a family are facing.
I must accept my end in this. In the end it's clear whether sober or not that I have an anger problem. I know this is true, I spend much of my time and thoughts tripping over issues from the past and present.
Thanks Dee, Freein, Noolan and Up, it meams a lot to have support when I'm so far deep in the trenches.
I agree that I need help, with sobriety and with anger. So I'm currently online looking as to what the best next move is.
This morning y Mums heart went out of time, she had to take medication and we waited to see if we had to call an ambulance.
This has really shaken me.
It's time to turn all of this around before it's too late.
The dust has settled, leaving a sense of clarity as to how many problems we as a family are facing.
I must accept my end in this. In the end it's clear whether sober or not that I have an anger problem. I know this is true, I spend much of my time and thoughts tripping over issues from the past and present.
Thanks Dee, Freein, Noolan and Up, it meams a lot to have support when I'm so far deep in the trenches.
I agree that I need help, with sobriety and with anger. So I'm currently online looking as to what the best next move is.
This morning y Mums heart went out of time, she had to take medication and we waited to see if we had to call an ambulance.
This has really shaken me.
It's time to turn all of this around before it's too late.
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