Dee74

last part here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-29-a-20.html

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Dee74

Congrats on your milestones Kayak Applekat MITA Kiki, Clearly, Casey & Fred.
Apologies to anyone I missed.

Happy safe sober travels Casey

Welcome back Sam - what do you think you might do differently this time?

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Thirteenth

Shotgun, with shame.

Thirteenth

Had a new week to work with and...same old. Kept sober throughout the days at work and crumbled in the evenings. Even if it wasn't a lot, I was drinking so I kept away. Only happened to login while the thread was new so went for the 'gun.

I should have posted and asked for help first but I'm stubborn. It's a serious character flaw of mine and one that will catch up to me if I can't achieve sobriety. I've had a lot going on but that's no reason for me to flake on something far more important.

ManInTheArena

Thanks for the new thread Dee.

No shame, thirteenth. You got shotgun fair and square.

Just watching Jack Reacher and finishing up same cake and ice cream. Definitely a little borderline earlier tonight, but fine now. Tomorrow will be a good day!

Thirteenth

I'm really trying to be more accountable but it's not a strong point for me. I got mostly good blood/urine results back and have scheduled my surgery so I have to not keep ...(insert your word here)... around. To those who have supported me I can only express both my gratitude and apologies. I'll keep working to do better.

ManInTheArena

Hey Thirteenth. I'm glad you came and posted, even if the week wasn't as much of a success as you were hoping. If at first you don't succeed ....

ManInTheArena

Do you have anyone you can be accountable to - other than our group here?

KiKi0615

Got shot gun again Thirteenth??? Lol. You've been lurking and waiting all day, haven't you? Hahahaha

Thirteenth

Not really, MITA. I am planning to go to the same meeting this Sunday if it's occurring. The schedule hadn't updated last I checked. I'm also thinking about altering my schedule to get to more meetings to give it a try. Having never worked the program, I can't know if it'll help until I do it. So, I'm leaning in that direction for accountability.

Thirteenth

Well, technically Dee got it, but I'm not sure that counts...

Dee74

Apologies in advance cos I know this is a toughie, but is it stubbornness or not wanting to be talked out of it, Thirteenth?

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KiKi0615

Hi MITA,

Im accountable to my husband, oldest son, my AA sponsor, AA friends and God. Although I know God loves me unconditionally....I am sure he would rather I am sober.

What about you MITA?

Thirteenth

No, it isn't tough. Yes, and even more so yes. For all I've read here over the past ten years, the posting ahead of the choice has eluded me. I see people do it and succeed. Why don't I? I don't know except that my addiction wants me to start/keep drinking rather than be talked out of it.

Dee74

That's an important point to realise tho cos it gives you a starting point.

The next time the urge comes upon you, you'll remember you have a choice and maybe your addiction is not as all-powerful as you've led yourself to believe...

It's that one step closer to the cell door...

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ManInTheArena

Hi Kiki,

I have my wife now, one good friend that I trust, my higher power and myself. I could use more - but that's what I've got for now. Other than the good folks here of course.

Why do you ask?

Thirteenth

Makes sense. What about when I've consciously, or not, already decided? I'll assume the same but when the decision is already made I don't even think about reaching out - well maybe for a second.

Guess I need to hold onto that second and turn it into a minute and so on. Have I answered my own question?

Dee74

I think there's always a moment Thirteenth - Each time there's a moment of negotiation and decision...

there were a million moments, for example, between me deciding to drink and be going out, walking down the road, walking back and opening the bottle.

For a long time those moments passed me by...but eventually (soon after joining SR actually) I took the chance one of those moments gave me and dumped the bottle I was carrying in a roadside bin.

Just because things have always been some way doesn't mean change can't occur

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KiKi0615

Oops! I guess YOU were asking Thirteenth who HE had to be accountable to. I thought you were asking all of us so I answered and then asked you. Duh. Hahahaha. It's been a long day! :-0

LillianGish

Not a good night here. Breathing deep, calming down. I have no one to be accountable to, except me of course. My spouse couldn't care less about my sobriety. Shocking how fast the alcohol appeared in the fridge just as soon as he saw I had fallen off the wagon last week. It wasn't "honey are you ok?" It was "Here you go, drink up." Then disappointment when I went back to being sober.

We just had a fight and gosh a drink would really take the edge off but I'm coming here instead. Drinking "at" someone even dumber than drinking.

Every day I have to drive the road with the big huge burn spot, where the poor man in the mini cooper died from the drunk driver hitting him last weekend. I drive right over the burnt road on my way to work. They didn't do a very good job cleaning it up. It's awful to see and think about.

That's what I'll be accountable to.

OK, rant off. I'll have a smile tomorrow.