Originally Posted by Oswin

DH'S birthday today. Bbq at our house, another day surrounded by alcohol and drinkers. Starting to wear a bit thin now. Just want peace and quiet. Feel drained, but got through the alcohol fueled weekend without drinking. Drunk people are hard work when your not one of them!

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

I'm sorry Oswin- that's gotta be pretty tough. I admire your strength and I am sorry you don't have more support during this time. Have you talked to your husband about how being around all the booze is hard for you?

Originally Posted by KarenOskie

Hang in there Oswin! So sorry you have to deal with that. Not sure I could do it.
What does DH stand for? I know it means husband, but can't figure out what the D stands for.

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

DAY 33 Another Sunday, another day to have to deal with stonewalling from DH. Weekends just aren't fun anymore. We are always fighting about something (now he's pissed at me because I took over making the coffee and says I am trying to control the situation. I am in fact trying to solve the problem.) Stupid stuff, believe me I know, but that's all our relationship is these days. He mentioned we should get a babysitter and go out to dinner sometime (this happens like once a year) and honestly the thought of that doesn't even appeal to me. When we were drinking buddies- sure. We had a blast going out to bars and restaurants and getting drunk. Even after kids we had a few times we went out and got wasted. But those days are long gone (thank god) and I don't feel there is anything left. Our best times were spent drinking. It is so hard and sad to admit it but it's true. So on top of learning how to be sober and navigate through life without drinking I also have to re learn to love my husband and actually enjoy being with him sober. I don't know how to do that. I really don't. He's much happier when he drinks too, that's the problem. I am sure if he had some beers at the house this weekend we would not be fighting.


Anyway, had a good TRX workout at the gym (hanging straps you use to do body weight exercises) and now I am getting the little man to sleep. Going to shower and go to the kids store to get DS some shorts for preK which starts tomorrow. It will be better than sticking around here amidst this negativity.


In diet news, I found a book cleanse and got all my fruits and veggies for the week. It's called The 10 Day Green Smoothie Cleanse. You basically eat 3 smoothies a day and can snack on raw veggies/fruits, hardboiled eggs, and limited nuts. I am excited but nervous. I have done a juice fast before but only for 5 days. This is 10 whopping days (of course the fiber should make it more filling than juicing) but the results are supposed to be amazing (at least ten lbs lost for most people.) I would be thrilled to lose 10 lbs before my brothers wedding on Labor Day weekend. Wish me luck people- this is not going to be easy.

Oh, I am gluten free as of yesterday and feeling really good about that decision. Going to start tracking my days of being binge free/gf as well. If I can tackle 1 addiction I can tackle 2. I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

Happy Sunday guys. Keep on keepin' on..

Originally Posted by KarenOskie

Welcome Wisc! I'm glad you're here.
Sorry you're having problems with your fella, Sunflower. I wish he could be supportive and helpful. Maybe he's just clueless about what you need from him?
I'm trying out new meetings and found one today that I absolutely love! I'm pretty sure I've got a new sponsor! Hooray! I didn't want to put her on the spot asking her in front of everyone, but here they have this moment at the end of the meeting where they say, "Anyone willing to be a sponsor please raise your hand" and she did. So, seems likely. I'm going to call her in a bit, I'll let you all know how it goes.

Originally Posted by JL2014

Sunflower I heard a speaker say that people grow up in their lives living and learning how to act and feel in situations.
Alcoholics learn to drink more and more to deal with these same situations, but for us, the effect is relief. We then get relied from drinking, then our "dealing with life emotions", become immature because life goes on..... But we stay drunk ( example- I drank because I worried and couldn't deal with money problems).
It looks to me like the point was, that alcoholics may look happier when they drink ( stood out when you said Mr sunflower seems happier). I know I chSed after that edge off/ happiness feeling.
Knowing this made me feel less psycho and more of what i am- a recovering alcoholic that's trying to learn to live again and be comfortable in sobriety.
I'm probably still crazy lol, but I'm a learning.

PS
Last night My 3 yr old brought me a crayola magic marker and said " daddy help me"-
I helped him put the lid on it. He put it on a shelf and went on to do whatever.
I'm at my PT job today, wife calls raising the roof. He'd drawn all over the hardwood floor and drew circles around all his hot wheels cars and toys scattered in that room.
Hell greens a good color, right?

Originally Posted by InvisibleDanger

I'm feeling so sad today. I keep thinking of all the bad things I have done and said while drinking and I'm basically convincing myself that I am a bad, bad person. Rotten to the core. Being alone isn't helping either. At least I'm not drinking today, that's good. I wish that I could respond to you individually, but I don't know what to say to you. Sorry.

Originally Posted by CuteNGayYay

Just checking in quickly on day 18. Stay strong today folks .

Originally Posted by City

I'm on day 2. I'm a newcomer too and still trying to figure out how this site works. I just read the post from sunflower and it resonated with me as a stay home mom. I've been doing a night binge about once every 30 days. While I have improved, I want complete sobriety. I've been sober for 1.5 years before. I don't drink like a normal person and nothing good comes out of it for me. I am emotionally and mentally stunted from being dependent on alcohol for so many years. I have a daughter now and need to be better. I need to heal. God has given me another chance and while I regret what I did 2 days ago, I must move forward. What am I going to change this time to stay sober? I have to fight for my life. I hate the ensuing depression that happens after a drunk. Glad to have friends whiny can share with on his journey as others just don't seem to get it. Hugs to all trying to get better and stay sober!

Originally Posted by Oswin

He doesn't get it, he's a drinker and as long as nothing is interfering with that then he's fine. Then he'll say stuff like your quiet or your moody and I just feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. I got asked tonight by someone if I could have a glass of presseco because it is a celebration. What planet is presseco not alcohol. I'm sure it will get easier.