Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 4
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Oswin 
Was dreading today. Catching up with some old friends and their children. Not dreading the catching up bit. But I knew it would involve alcohol and explaining why I wasn't drinking. We went walking, then back to ours for food and drinks. I was on flavoured sparkling water. Got asked why I wasn't drinking I said I'm on the wagon and I'm now tea total. Shrugged it off and that was that. I had one moment when I poured a glass of wine for my friend when I thought I could have just one glass....yeah right we all know how that would have ended. I made myself a coffee instead!
I had a good laugh, I joined in and also had fun with the kids instead of being to drunk or to interested in my drinking. I can remember it all and won't have a hangover tomorrow. As I watched my friends go home a bit drunk I did feel a bit smug at that fact.
I also know I'd still be drinking now and probably spoil the evening completely by ranting at my DH. Instead I've just got in to bed. It's 00.40 here, so night from a sober me.
I had a good laugh, I joined in and also had fun with the kids instead of being to drunk or to interested in my drinking. I can remember it all and won't have a hangover tomorrow. As I watched my friends go home a bit drunk I did feel a bit smug at that fact.
I also know I'd still be drinking now and probably spoil the evening completely by ranting at my DH. Instead I've just got in to bed. It's 00.40 here, so night from a sober me.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Had a pretty wonderful day at my granddaughter's 2nd birthday party yesterday! I have a tradition of buying the grands a power wheels vehicle for their 2nd birthdays so I just had to get that sweetie her own Mustang! She loves it and I loved watching her drive...she picked it up so fast! Oh, the joys of being a grandma <3 The amazing thing is there was no alcohol to be seen, which was really out of character for my daughter. I wasn't worried about it, but it was nice for a change. I never could understand how parties for little ones required alcohol for the adults...
No big plans for today. Some cleaning and organizing inside and probably a bit of weed pulling in the front yard. I do need to go for a walk later and I think I'll take at least one of the pups. As long as it doesn't get ugly hot today, I should be fine. The older I get, the less I can tolerate the heat.
Hope everyone has a Sober Sunday!
No big plans for today. Some cleaning and organizing inside and probably a bit of weed pulling in the front yard. I do need to go for a walk later and I think I'll take at least one of the pups. As long as it doesn't get ugly hot today, I should be fine. The older I get, the less I can tolerate the heat.
Hope everyone has a Sober Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Morning Optimist. So glad you had a good time with your grand baby. 
I have three kids and there is always alcohol for the grown ups at birthday parties. I've gotten so used to it I think of it as normal. It is difficult to be around though.
Have a great day.
1 Corinthians 10:13
I have three kids and there is always alcohol for the grown ups at birthday parties. I've gotten so used to it I think of it as normal. It is difficult to be around though.
Have a great day.
1 Corinthians 10:13
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
Had a pretty wonderful day at my granddaughter's 2nd birthday party yesterday! I have a tradition of buying the grands a power wheels vehicle for their 2nd birthdays so I just had to get that sweetie her own Mustang! She loves it and I loved watching her drive...she picked it up so fast! Oh, the joys of being a grandma <3 The amazing thing is there was no alcohol to be seen, which was really out of character for my daughter. I wasn't worried about it, but it was nice for a change. I never could understand how parties for little ones required alcohol for the adults... No big plans for today. Some cleaning and organizing inside and probably a bit of weed pulling in the front yard. I do need to go for a walk later and I think I'll take at least one of the pups. As long as it doesn't get ugly hot today, I should be fine. The older I get, the less I can tolerate the heat. Hope everyone has a Sober Sunday!
Have a great and productive Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by CristinaN
Morning Optimist. So glad you had a good time with your grand baby. I have three kids and there is always alcohol for the grown ups at birthday parties. I've gotten so used to it I think of it as normal. It is difficult to be around though. Have a great day. 1 Corinthians 10:13
I have three kids and there is always alcohol for the grown ups at birthday parties. I've gotten so used to it I think of it as normal. It is difficult to be around though. Have a great day. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
DAY 33 Another Sunday, another day to have to deal with stonewalling from DH. Weekends just aren't fun anymore. We are always fighting about something (now he's pissed at me because I took over making the coffee and says I am trying to control the situation. I am in fact trying to solve the problem.) Stupid stuff, believe me I know, but that's all our relationship is these days. He mentioned we should get a babysitter and go out to dinner sometime (this happens like once a year) and honestly the thought of that doesn't even appeal to me. When we were drinking buddies- sure. We had a blast going out to bars and restaurants and getting drunk. Even after kids we had a few times we went out and got wasted. But those days are long gone (thank god) and I don't feel there is anything left. Our best times were spent drinking. It is so hard and sad to admit it but it's true. So on top of learning how to be sober and navigate through life without drinking I also have to re learn to love my husband and actually enjoy being with him sober. I don't know how to do that. I really don't. He's much happier when he drinks too, that's the problem. I am sure if he had some beers at the house this weekend we would not be fighting.
Anyway, had a good TRX workout at the gym (hanging straps you use to do body weight exercises) and now I am getting the little man to sleep. Going to shower and go to the kids store to get DS some shorts for preK which starts tomorrow. It will be better than sticking around here amidst this negativity.
In diet news, I found a book cleanse and got all my fruits and veggies for the week. It's called The 10 Day Green Smoothie Cleanse. You basically eat 3 smoothies a day and can snack on raw veggies/fruits, hardboiled eggs, and limited nuts. I am excited but nervous. I have done a juice fast before but only for 5 days. This is 10 whopping days (of course the fiber should make it more filling than juicing) but the results are supposed to be amazing (at least ten lbs lost for most people.) I would be thrilled to lose 10 lbs before my brothers wedding on Labor Day weekend. Wish me luck people- this is not going to be easy.
Oh, I am gluten free as of yesterday and feeling really good about that decision. Going to start tracking my days of being binge free/gf as well. If I can tackle 1 addiction I can tackle 2. I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
Happy Sunday guys. Keep on keepin' on..
Anyway, had a good TRX workout at the gym (hanging straps you use to do body weight exercises) and now I am getting the little man to sleep. Going to shower and go to the kids store to get DS some shorts for preK which starts tomorrow. It will be better than sticking around here amidst this negativity.
In diet news, I found a book cleanse and got all my fruits and veggies for the week. It's called The 10 Day Green Smoothie Cleanse. You basically eat 3 smoothies a day and can snack on raw veggies/fruits, hardboiled eggs, and limited nuts. I am excited but nervous. I have done a juice fast before but only for 5 days. This is 10 whopping days (of course the fiber should make it more filling than juicing) but the results are supposed to be amazing (at least ten lbs lost for most people.) I would be thrilled to lose 10 lbs before my brothers wedding on Labor Day weekend. Wish me luck people- this is not going to be easy.
Oh, I am gluten free as of yesterday and feeling really good about that decision. Going to start tracking my days of being binge free/gf as well. If I can tackle 1 addiction I can tackle 2. I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
Happy Sunday guys. Keep on keepin' on..
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Welcome Wisc! I'm glad you're here.
Sorry you're having problems with your fella, Sunflower. I wish he could be supportive and helpful. Maybe he's just clueless about what you need from him?
I'm trying out new meetings and found one today that I absolutely love! I'm pretty sure I've got a new sponsor! Hooray! I didn't want to put her on the spot asking her in front of everyone, but here they have this moment at the end of the meeting where they say, "Anyone willing to be a sponsor please raise your hand" and she did. So, seems likely. I'm going to call her in a bit, I'll let you all know how it goes.
Sorry you're having problems with your fella, Sunflower. I wish he could be supportive and helpful. Maybe he's just clueless about what you need from him?
I'm trying out new meetings and found one today that I absolutely love! I'm pretty sure I've got a new sponsor! Hooray! I didn't want to put her on the spot asking her in front of everyone, but here they have this moment at the end of the meeting where they say, "Anyone willing to be a sponsor please raise your hand" and she did. So, seems likely. I'm going to call her in a bit, I'll let you all know how it goes.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Sunflower I heard a speaker say that people grow up in their lives living and learning how to act and feel in situations.
Alcoholics learn to drink more and more to deal with these same situations, but for us, the effect is relief. We then get relied from drinking, then our "dealing with life emotions", become immature because life goes on..... But we stay drunk ( example- I drank because I worried and couldn't deal with money problems).
It looks to me like the point was, that alcoholics may look happier when they drink ( stood out when you said Mr sunflower seems happier). I know I chSed after that edge off/ happiness feeling.
Knowing this made me feel less psycho and more of what i am- a recovering alcoholic that's trying to learn to live again and be comfortable in sobriety.
I'm probably still crazy lol, but I'm a learning.
PS
Last night My 3 yr old brought me a crayola magic marker and said " daddy help me"-
I helped him put the lid on it. He put it on a shelf and went on to do whatever.
I'm at my PT job today, wife calls raising the roof. He'd drawn all over the hardwood floor and drew circles around all his hot wheels cars and toys scattered in that room.
Hell greens a good color, right?
Alcoholics learn to drink more and more to deal with these same situations, but for us, the effect is relief. We then get relied from drinking, then our "dealing with life emotions", become immature because life goes on..... But we stay drunk ( example- I drank because I worried and couldn't deal with money problems).
It looks to me like the point was, that alcoholics may look happier when they drink ( stood out when you said Mr sunflower seems happier). I know I chSed after that edge off/ happiness feeling.
Knowing this made me feel less psycho and more of what i am- a recovering alcoholic that's trying to learn to live again and be comfortable in sobriety.
I'm probably still crazy lol, but I'm a learning.
PS
Last night My 3 yr old brought me a crayola magic marker and said " daddy help me"-
I helped him put the lid on it. He put it on a shelf and went on to do whatever.
I'm at my PT job today, wife calls raising the roof. He'd drawn all over the hardwood floor and drew circles around all his hot wheels cars and toys scattered in that room.
Hell greens a good color, right?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Karen that's AWESOME-
I'm still bouncing around meetings to find a home group one, but got a sponsor already. Going to meetings always seems a hassle in my super busy life, but then I'm always so glad I went. So glad.
Think I'm on 13 or 14 days after that day at the beach I drank. Had close to 60 before that. Just plugging one day at a time.
I hated hearing that, until I started trying to live it. Now I say it all the time!
I'm still bouncing around meetings to find a home group one, but got a sponsor already. Going to meetings always seems a hassle in my super busy life, but then I'm always so glad I went. So glad.
Think I'm on 13 or 14 days after that day at the beach I drank. Had close to 60 before that. Just plugging one day at a time.
I hated hearing that, until I started trying to live it. Now I say it all the time!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 56
I'm feeling so sad today. I keep thinking of all the bad things I have done and said while drinking and I'm basically convincing myself that I am a bad, bad person. Rotten to the core. Being alone isn't helping either. At least I'm not drinking today, that's good. I wish that I could respond to you individually, but I don't know what to say to you. Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 30
I'm on day 2. I'm a newcomer too and still trying to figure out how this site works. I just read the post from sunflower and it resonated with me as a stay home mom. I've been doing a night binge about once every 30 days. While I have improved, I want complete sobriety. I've been sober for 1.5 years before. I don't drink like a normal person and nothing good comes out of it for me. I am emotionally and mentally stunted from being dependent on alcohol for so many years. I have a daughter now and need to be better. I need to heal. God has given me another chance and while I regret what I did 2 days ago, I must move forward. What am I going to change this time to stay sober? I have to fight for my life. I hate the ensuing depression that happens after a drunk. Glad to have friends whiny can share with on his journey as others just don't seem to get it. Hugs to all trying to get better and stay sober!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by InvisibleDanger
I'm feeling so sad today. I keep thinking of all the bad things I have done and said while drinking and I'm basically convincing myself that I am a bad, bad person. Rotten to the core. Being alone isn't helping either. At least I'm not drinking today, that's good. I wish that I could respond to you individually, but I don't know what to say to you. Sorry.
Keep posting. We are here for you and great job not drinking today.
1 Corinthians 10:13
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by InvisibleDanger
I'm feeling so sad today. I keep thinking of all the bad things I have done and said while drinking and I'm basically convincing myself that I am a bad, bad person. Rotten to the core. Being alone isn't helping either. At least I'm not drinking today, that's good. I wish that I could respond to you individually, but I don't know what to say to you. Sorry.
In my opinion, bad people are the ones who do questionable things and feel no remorse or guilt and don't give a damn about who they are hurt. I am pretty sure you are not type of person and the fact that you are feeling so guilty is a sign of that.
You know, I really dislike it when people say you shouldn't have regrets. I have many and they pretty much all include my addiction and alcohol. Yup- all of them. Our disease has not allowed us to be our best. It robbed of us our connection with our highest self, the part of us full of compassion and love for both ourselves and others. Now that we are sober we can reach that state and change our lives around.
I use the guilt and shame I feel for all the stupid, hurtful things I did as a drug addict/alcoholic as fuel to keep me sober. Those things were not really me- I would never do them sober.
Please be kind with yourself during this healing process. It's okay to feel what you are feeling but don't let it overwhelm you. You are a good person because you are actively working towards CHANGE. not everyone can say that. Give yourself some credit, my friend. It's going to be okay...
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