Oh, I'm sorry. Thought it was a woman. I give up too, won't ruin shotgun for any of you. Wish y'all a sober Sunday!

Where is everyone today? I hope everyone is ok. :-)

I say this with friends and acquaintances too. I'm pretty blunt. Didn't think it'd be the way to go with my new coworkers though

Kiki you're hilarious with the shotgun talk

I'm trying. Lol

You should all try and beat our 31 page record tonight. I'd help but still at work.

Dee should be showing up soon. Not sure that could happen.

I know, Fred, all too well. I'm sure you've all been there and I know I've talked about it before, but I'm stuck in that in between BS stage. Sure, I want to quit, but part of me isn't ready and willing. How do you move beyond that; beyond my plan of just do it and actually do it? So there it is, just do it like it's an old Nike ad. Any thoughts would be appreciated though.

Hi Immri and thirteenth.

What's the 31 page record?

Hi Bobbie, immri, Kiki, Casey, I'd say to stick a fork in me that I'm done, but I keep failing to be done. Not abnormal but damn frustrating.

Thirteenth, I can remember back in February, I was on my way home, standing at the gas station, wanting to by my vodka shots. I looked at them behind the counter, grabbed a diet dr. Pepper and paid for it.

That was the first time I just decided, that's it, I'm done. It was such a relief. Like so much had been taken off my shoulders. I don't know specifically what it was, but I was at the end, I do know that.

I'd kill (well, maybe not actually) to know that feeling. I read so many stories here and it's almost like they bounce off me. When I fail I don't feel guilt, I'm merely annoyed. I want to hate my addiction more than I do. I want to get to that space where I'd rather be sober but it feels elusive. Not giving up, just f'ing up.

Several threads ago we got to 31 pages and way beyond 500 replies. It's a pipe dream we could do it again. Or could we? :lmao

Really?

A pipe dream?

Part 12, surprisingly easy to find. The new computer and not some cobbled together crap might be a factor. :)

Could you tell me more about that feeling, Bobbie? I've read it many times but another perspective from another person I respect is another tool in my arsenal to be clean. This request is to all of you too, please tell me what flipped the switch for you.

I don't know for sure. The only thing that had changed was SR. I suddenly decided I really wanted that. I wanted to be the best me I could. Alcohol has no place. Realizing I'm not going to drink again, I'm glad. I am starting back to school Aug. 28. At 50. I am running again. My family (even my daughters) like me again. I still don't get to babysit Sophia, but every day I'm sober is a day closer.

That feeling? I just feel strong, thirteenth. And very very grateful for all of you.

Part 28 here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-28-a.html