One Year & Over Part 40
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Originally Posted by tootsl1 
IP, our reserves can be low when we are tired and stressed, and it can be difficult to keep an even mind about a situation. It sounds like this evening is important to your friends, and yes they ought to have made plans well in advance, but will one night of your life spending time with a wee innocent in gratitude of the fact they were there at short notice with a roof when you moved really going to matter in the big scheme of things? Next time be more prepared with a specific no, this time, bite the bullet, smile and think of things you can do to enjoy your quiet night in.
I should probably talk to her about all this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
More upsetting and unsettling news in my world - my pet dog (or rather my estranged husband's pet dog, which I bought for him 12 years ago) is almost certainly going to have to be put to sleep in the near future (perhaps at the weekend) - he has had two large lumps removed from his 'hip' area but the most recent (very large) lump that has formed is almost certainly cancer and there is very little that can be done to treat him. 
. Today I picked up my daughter from school and she was really quite upset about the dog being so ill / likely to be put down.... in a way, the dog is sort of like a 'brother' to her as he has been in her life since before she was born....
So, feeling the feels today! I just feel so helpless and somewhat bereft and, of course, so very sad. I have come to the decision that I will never acquire another pet as it is just too hard when they die (having been through a number of pet deaths over the years).
To all those with pets - give them an extra hug today
. Today I picked up my daughter from school and she was really quite upset about the dog being so ill / likely to be put down.... in a way, the dog is sort of like a 'brother' to her as he has been in her life since before she was born....So, feeling the feels today! I just feel so helpless and somewhat bereft and, of course, so very sad. I have come to the decision that I will never acquire another pet as it is just too hard when they die (having been through a number of pet deaths over the years).
To all those with pets - give them an extra hug today
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
IP - Wow, that's quite a list of grievances with you roommate. How long have you been friends?
Most people want to bring their friends together. I think it's odd that your roommates aren't willing to integrate you into their group of friends, but I wouldn't get too caught up on that. If someone says hurtful things, cuts me out of their life, uses me, or is generally unpleasant to be around, my boundaries will start screaming at me. I don't know if a conversation will resolve this. What will help are healthy boundaries. You don't need to be good friends with your roommates to cohabitate well. Detach calmly, avoid confrontation, and stay busy with your work and friends. Say no when you mean no. Discuss your shared kitchen, though.
FG - So sorry about the dog.
Fradley - I'm glad to hear from you and happy to see you're living the dream.
Saskia - I absolutely love that you are able to intuitively handle people who used to push your buttons. When you're living the dream your 2 cents actually appreciates in value, IMHO.
H&N2 - Over the last couple of years I've been sober I've found some value in old time AA advice that used to baffle me. I only go to one meeting a week at best, and this summer it's been more like a couple meetings a month. When my schedule allows I'll go to more, but like Carlos said, I'm looking for the value in the meetings I attend, not to fill a quota.
When people try to tell you what to do, it's more of a reflection on them than you.
Anxiety and depression are powerful. I've experienced it most of my life. I can tell you my anxiety levels are not correlated with the number of meetings I go to in any way. At the same time sobriety is important. Adding alcohol to that is like pouring lighter fluid on a fire; it magnifies the problem!! At 2 1/2 years sober I'm seeing some relief. I think it's from my brain and body healing, along with an improvement in my spiritual condition from working the 12 steps.
Saskia and Toots - Thanks for looking out for me with my troubled colleague. I reached out to her manager right away and discussed it with mine today to cover my backside but told them I hoped to resolve this informally.
FBL - Not all tasks are glamorous, that's for sure. At least you've got a good attitude about it! To me that's 99.9% of the battle!
Have a good one Overs.
Most people want to bring their friends together. I think it's odd that your roommates aren't willing to integrate you into their group of friends, but I wouldn't get too caught up on that. If someone says hurtful things, cuts me out of their life, uses me, or is generally unpleasant to be around, my boundaries will start screaming at me. I don't know if a conversation will resolve this. What will help are healthy boundaries. You don't need to be good friends with your roommates to cohabitate well. Detach calmly, avoid confrontation, and stay busy with your work and friends. Say no when you mean no. Discuss your shared kitchen, though.
FG - So sorry about the dog.
Fradley - I'm glad to hear from you and happy to see you're living the dream.
Saskia - I absolutely love that you are able to intuitively handle people who used to push your buttons. When you're living the dream your 2 cents actually appreciates in value, IMHO.
H&N2 - Over the last couple of years I've been sober I've found some value in old time AA advice that used to baffle me. I only go to one meeting a week at best, and this summer it's been more like a couple meetings a month. When my schedule allows I'll go to more, but like Carlos said, I'm looking for the value in the meetings I attend, not to fill a quota.
When people try to tell you what to do, it's more of a reflection on them than you.
Anxiety and depression are powerful. I've experienced it most of my life. I can tell you my anxiety levels are not correlated with the number of meetings I go to in any way. At the same time sobriety is important. Adding alcohol to that is like pouring lighter fluid on a fire; it magnifies the problem!! At 2 1/2 years sober I'm seeing some relief. I think it's from my brain and body healing, along with an improvement in my spiritual condition from working the 12 steps.
Saskia and Toots - Thanks for looking out for me with my troubled colleague.
I reached out to her manager right away and discussed it with mine today to cover my backside but told them I hoped to resolve this informally. FBL - Not all tasks are glamorous, that's for sure. At least you've got a good attitude about it! To me that's 99.9% of the battle!
Have a good one Overs.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hey all!
I'm fine and life is good.
Missed a week and more. Sooo,
Welcome to the new ones, sorry for the sad ones, hopeful for the glad ones, congratulatory for the triumphant ones, courageous for the fighting ones, and exuberant for the achieving ones.
Just caught up on reading. I have just been busy. At this stage in my life it only takes a day for a week to fly by!
I am scheduled to fly down to the Laser Spine people in a couple of weeks for MRIs, exams, and hopefully be found fit for a replacement cervical vertebrae, and stabilization of four lumbar vertebrae and some bone lasering to stop the pinched nerves. I have finally gotten over that jaundiced stripe down my back. As well, on returning I'm having cataract surgery with the Lasik at the same time. Life is good. We live in miraculous times when we can talk instantly with video to tell of the marvels of medicine we can avail ourselves of.
I am unchanged. Recovered, no issues, happy, and busy. The nearsightedness is getting bad with cataracts. Funny they are not noticeable long before we fix them.
Anyway, no way to catch up in one post. Just wanted y'all to know life still is an itch to enjoy the next horizon.
Wilder died in Stamford, my old hometown.
In two weeks I will have 44 years with my Significant Harassment!
Who'd a thunk it?
I'm fine and life is good.
Missed a week and more. Sooo,
Welcome to the new ones, sorry for the sad ones, hopeful for the glad ones, congratulatory for the triumphant ones, courageous for the fighting ones, and exuberant for the achieving ones.
Just caught up on reading. I have just been busy. At this stage in my life it only takes a day for a week to fly by!
I am scheduled to fly down to the Laser Spine people in a couple of weeks for MRIs, exams, and hopefully be found fit for a replacement cervical vertebrae, and stabilization of four lumbar vertebrae and some bone lasering to stop the pinched nerves. I have finally gotten over that jaundiced stripe down my back. As well, on returning I'm having cataract surgery with the Lasik at the same time. Life is good. We live in miraculous times when we can talk instantly with video to tell of the marvels of medicine we can avail ourselves of.
I am unchanged. Recovered, no issues, happy, and busy. The nearsightedness is getting bad with cataracts. Funny they are not noticeable long before we fix them.
Anyway, no way to catch up in one post. Just wanted y'all to know life still is an itch to enjoy the next horizon.
Wilder died in Stamford, my old hometown.
In two weeks I will have 44 years with my Significant Harassment!
Who'd a thunk it?
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
Morning overs
Well said Sassy!
Aw Fbl, Gene Wilder seemed such a lovely man. He had Alzheimer's but a report said he still knew everyone around him.
Hi itchy, our paths crossed. Hope all goes well next week!
Have a good Tuesday overs.
Well said Sassy!
Aw Fbl, Gene Wilder seemed such a lovely man. He had Alzheimer's but a report said he still knew everyone around him.
Hi itchy, our paths crossed. Hope all goes well next week!
Have a good Tuesday overs.
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