Class of October 2015 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Keep in there Winslow.
I'm at the stage now where I know my drinking is getting worse. It's not a physical need nor a daily one but one where when I drink I do with no breaks on.
I had a test on Saturday when I found myself in an Italian restaurant at lunch time. I wasn't hungry and only wanted coffee but as a family we decided on Italian. As soon as I sat down I had massive cravings and almost ordered some wine well-knowing I'd end up drinking all day.
I looked around and no one else was drinking and it was only about 12:30 so I drank my water and more water and more water and eventually I knew I was over it. Mentally no drinking to me feels like a sacrifice and I don't want to waste this sacrifice by drinking at a later date.
Last year I started my long sober period on August 28 or 29. This year total sobriety started on August 7th. I intend to get another (yearly) health check in November so that's my first goal. My second is to last longer than last year and my third is to make it through new year. I will do this.
I'm at the stage now where I know my drinking is getting worse. It's not a physical need nor a daily one but one where when I drink I do with no breaks on.
I had a test on Saturday when I found myself in an Italian restaurant at lunch time. I wasn't hungry and only wanted coffee but as a family we decided on Italian. As soon as I sat down I had massive cravings and almost ordered some wine well-knowing I'd end up drinking all day.
I looked around and no one else was drinking and it was only about 12:30 so I drank my water and more water and more water and eventually I knew I was over it. Mentally no drinking to me feels like a sacrifice and I don't want to waste this sacrifice by drinking at a later date.
Last year I started my long sober period on August 28 or 29. This year total sobriety started on August 7th. I intend to get another (yearly) health check in November so that's my first goal. My second is to last longer than last year and my third is to make it through new year. I will do this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Midton, it's great to hear from you!! Overall it sounds like you are doing really well, and you are in a good place right now- that is awesome : )
Juno, busy bee! You are taking care of business. Way to go!!
Winslow, hang in there!! The shakes will pass. I have noticed mine come back already after nights of relatively light drinking. It seems like mine are more nerves than alcohol withdrawal, and exercise really does help with that even if it seems like that is the last thing I would want to do at the time. I totally agree with juno- breathe through it. Some slow, controlled, deep breathing will lower your heart rate which also helps with the anxiety.
So yall, I am drinking more days than I am not. That's not what I pictured for myself when I started drinking again over a month ago, but it's true. It has not ratcheted to the level I'm ready to stop, but mentally I've had to will myself through some things when physically I'm not feeling so great. That's what I get. Otherwise, things are carrying on like normal. Running is still my passion, and I'm running better than I have in years. I'm working hard, and I'm at the lowest weight I've been in years. I got my hair done on Thursday- I went in as a blonde and left as a red head. I love it!!
Juno, busy bee! You are taking care of business. Way to go!!
Winslow, hang in there!! The shakes will pass. I have noticed mine come back already after nights of relatively light drinking. It seems like mine are more nerves than alcohol withdrawal, and exercise really does help with that even if it seems like that is the last thing I would want to do at the time. I totally agree with juno- breathe through it. Some slow, controlled, deep breathing will lower your heart rate which also helps with the anxiety.
So yall, I am drinking more days than I am not. That's not what I pictured for myself when I started drinking again over a month ago, but it's true. It has not ratcheted to the level I'm ready to stop, but mentally I've had to will myself through some things when physically I'm not feeling so great. That's what I get. Otherwise, things are carrying on like normal. Running is still my passion, and I'm running better than I have in years. I'm working hard, and I'm at the lowest weight I've been in years. I got my hair done on Thursday- I went in as a blonde and left as a red head. I love it!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hi guys, quick check in for me this morning because I've got a busy day on tap. I slept okay last night so that is good. Trying to chill out as much as possible, get things done and not stress about things.
My brother and I had a REALLY good dinner last night at Outback Steak house. It was soooooo good! I had never been there before. I usually avoid the "chains" but this one was a good place. My brother loved it, which was the main thing! He heads back to Wyoming tomorrow. He and I are very very different. I can't even explain all the differences. He's much more rural small town and politically very different from me. I'm more east coast urban liberal. Well, we get along and we just don't talk politics and guns and we are family and he's the only sibling I have.
Winslow, hope you're doing better today. Post when you can. I'll try to check in later today.
Midton, those are good goals. You sound very positive and will help me stay on this sober track I'm on with your strength and positivity!
Grizzly, I'm glad you checked in. Those drinking days can creep right back. I used to try to do 1 day per week, 2 drinks only. It worked for a while then I thought, "If I can do 1 then I can easily do 2 days like that." And it creeps back in like that. As my Dad once said to me, "Alcohol is insidious." I try to remember his words. I'm glad you're still running and your hair sounds cool! I wish I could see a before and after picture!
Grizzly, I saw a movie with my boys on Saturday night - Pete's Dragon. It was really good. Maybe you and your son would like it!?!
Sydneyman, check in when you can. We miss you.
My brother and I had a REALLY good dinner last night at Outback Steak house. It was soooooo good! I had never been there before. I usually avoid the "chains" but this one was a good place. My brother loved it, which was the main thing! He heads back to Wyoming tomorrow. He and I are very very different. I can't even explain all the differences. He's much more rural small town and politically very different from me. I'm more east coast urban liberal. Well, we get along and we just don't talk politics and guns and we are family and he's the only sibling I have.
Winslow, hope you're doing better today. Post when you can. I'll try to check in later today.
Midton, those are good goals. You sound very positive and will help me stay on this sober track I'm on with your strength and positivity!
Grizzly, I'm glad you checked in. Those drinking days can creep right back. I used to try to do 1 day per week, 2 drinks only. It worked for a while then I thought, "If I can do 1 then I can easily do 2 days like that." And it creeps back in like that. As my Dad once said to me, "Alcohol is insidious." I try to remember his words. I'm glad you're still running and your hair sounds cool! I wish I could see a before and after picture!
Grizzly, I saw a movie with my boys on Saturday night - Pete's Dragon. It was really good. Maybe you and your son would like it!?!
Sydneyman, check in when you can. We miss you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Nothing much going on here. I'm surprisingly good, no cravings or thoughts or longings for drinking. Actually I wonder if I know why.
I'm thinking of semi-retiring next year, as I wrote before. My wife fears that I'll spend my time drinking and I kind of secretly agreed. However I've been off work for three weeks and apart from the actual vacation vacation I never drank, nor particularly thought about it. It's work that causes me stress and the desire to escape into a bottle. No work = no stress= no drinking for me I believe.
I'm thinking of semi-retiring next year, as I wrote before. My wife fears that I'll spend my time drinking and I kind of secretly agreed. However I've been off work for three weeks and apart from the actual vacation vacation I never drank, nor particularly thought about it. It's work that causes me stress and the desire to escape into a bottle. No work = no stress= no drinking for me I believe.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Ha, interesting Midton. I think stress was a big cause of my drinking as well, but I have also been know to want to drink when I'm happy or to celebrate a successful day. For instance, today I was feeling really good about things - like I accomplished a lot (which I did) and the idea popped into my head to get some wine to put an exclamation point on the good day. Thankfully the thought was short lived and I moved on. Those memories of my last panicky night drinking are enough to keep me from drinking.
So I had a good day and I am somewhat still stressed about everything I have to do this month, but it occurred to me that things are going as well as they are precisely because I'm not drinking. If I was drinking, I would be sacrificing a lot - a lot of productivity, clarity, being on top of things and lost time due to recovery/hangovers. I can't afford that right now (or ever, right?) So I'm calling it a day and planning to get more done tomorrow. That's the only way I'm getting through this month.
Winslow, how are you doing today??
So I had a good day and I am somewhat still stressed about everything I have to do this month, but it occurred to me that things are going as well as they are precisely because I'm not drinking. If I was drinking, I would be sacrificing a lot - a lot of productivity, clarity, being on top of things and lost time due to recovery/hangovers. I can't afford that right now (or ever, right?) So I'm calling it a day and planning to get more done tomorrow. That's the only way I'm getting through this month.
Winslow, how are you doing today??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Juno,
Me too, any excuse for a drink but it's just harder to resist when I'm stressed and feel like saying "stuff in".
Like you say it is incredible how better and competent we become when sober. It's also baffling how we continually sacrifice this by drinking again.
Me too, any excuse for a drink but it's just harder to resist when I'm stressed and feel like saying "stuff in".
Like you say it is incredible how better and competent we become when sober. It's also baffling how we continually sacrifice this by drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hey all, I had some wine cravings briefly tonight, which kind of sucked, but I had some granola and cranberry juice so happy hour is now gone. Not sure why I was craving but I think it might be because I'm working so hard at everything with very little rest or downtime. Work is really, really busy for me right now and then as soon as I came home had to take my dog for a walk, now it's time to get my son's birthday gifts wrapped and ready for tomorrow, then I also have to go grocery shopping and bake my son a birthday cake. I think I was just trying to escape the Tuesday stress by thinking about wine. I did not drink. I'm so close to 30 days now it would be a shame for me to blow it now. So I made it through today. Maybe tomorrow will be easier. Take care everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Helloo... I am here. I have not been drinking myslf stupid and not posted. Saying that I have been drinking not much but still daily. I am feel that I am like Grizz, in the same boat. I have not let it become the sole purpose of my existance. Today I am still in control of my drinking. Not saying it is right but rather the truth. So there it is..
Midton - good to see you back and staying dry!
Winslow- we have all had set backs, look at me now, you doiong fine and those withdrawals are propably gone by now. Juno, the leader of the pack!!!
Insiprational, dont let that 30 day invisable trigger let you fall. You mnetioned many times how you seem to make it to 30 and then boom... You can do this, you already are.Grizz- red hair, how fab and daring. I bet it looks good!!
Glad you all here again. I will promise to post more..Ok going to work now.
Midton - good to see you back and staying dry!
Winslow- we have all had set backs, look at me now, you doiong fine and those withdrawals are propably gone by now. Juno, the leader of the pack!!!
Insiprational, dont let that 30 day invisable trigger let you fall. You mnetioned many times how you seem to make it to 30 and then boom... You can do this, you already are.Grizz- red hair, how fab and daring. I bet it looks good!!
Glad you all here again. I will promise to post more..Ok going to work now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Good to hear from you Syd.
Wednesday is my day from hell but all of a sudden I've managed to change a few things which will make a big difference. I also got some other good news yesterday which all together has left me on a bit of a high. Things are looking up.
Wednesday is my day from hell but all of a sudden I've managed to change a few things which will make a big difference. I also got some other good news yesterday which all together has left me on a bit of a high. Things are looking up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi Syd
I'm sorry to hear you're still drinking.
To me the great illusion of my drinking decades was those times I thought I had things under control.
It was just my addiction lulling me into a false sense of security.
I'm sure that's not what you want to hear - and I'm mindful I may even be putting you and Grizz off - but the way I look at it you keep logging on here for a reason.
I can't do anything but give it to you straight.
D
I'm sorry to hear you're still drinking.
To me the great illusion of my drinking decades was those times I thought I had things under control.
It was just my addiction lulling me into a false sense of security.
I'm sure that's not what you want to hear - and I'm mindful I may even be putting you and Grizz off - but the way I look at it you keep logging on here for a reason.
I can't do anything but give it to you straight.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Day 29 and boom - relapse. It happened again. And again on a full moon. I will post more later - I had the night from hell. Nothing serious happened but I was on my bathroom floor all night near the toilet vomitting from about 1:00 am to 5:00 am. Drank full bottle of red at home and was like poison to my system. Midton is now the leader of the pack. I'm happy to get in line behind him. Day 1, not giving up. I'm not able to have the 1-2 drinks in the evening anymore - it's full speed ahead once I pop open a bottle. I guess I have my answer.
Glad you're here, Sydneyman. Keep checking in with us. Hoping to hear from Winslow and Grizzly today, too. Man, this disease sucks. Drinking orange gatoraid now that the vomiting has stopped.
Glad you're here, Sydneyman. Keep checking in with us. Hoping to hear from Winslow and Grizzly today, too. Man, this disease sucks. Drinking orange gatoraid now that the vomiting has stopped.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all, Juno I'm sorry you drank, I can't believe the damage alcohol does to our poor little bodies, I'm on day 4 and I still feel like poop! It'll take me about two weeks to feel half way normal, I swear like all alcoholics say after a relapse"never again!"but I am just done,I'm changing the way I think and feel about alcohol for good
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