Class of October 2015 Part 8
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Thank you, Dee. I'm happy I had a good trip, happy I made it home, and happy to have my dog back. I am having some other worries at the moment related to my Mom's health. I love her so much and she's my best friend, gosh it's scary when people you love get old. I'm happy and grateful to be sober - thank you Dee for always challenging me and pushing me forward. I am over two weeks sober now - I feel it's safe to count weeks and not days. I have to work a good, full day today to get caught up after my trip. Most of the unpacking and laundry is done.
Have a good day, all. Election day! Hope to hear from Winslow and Midton today... and even Sydneyman and Grizzly.
Have a good day, all. Election day! Hope to hear from Winslow and Midton today... and even Sydneyman and Grizzly.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I am sickened by the election results (can I say that here?) I need to find a way to get through this. Maybe bury my head in the sand for the next 4 years.
Anyway, I actually DID think about getting some wine at the start of the evening. And I didn't!! I actually thought it through and decided I wanted to be sober and experience everything (good or bad) with a clear head. I am proud of myself for making the right decision and moving forward in my recovery.
Okay, I'm not sure where everyone is ... I hope all are okay!!!
Anyway, I actually DID think about getting some wine at the start of the evening. And I didn't!! I actually thought it through and decided I wanted to be sober and experience everything (good or bad) with a clear head. I am proud of myself for making the right decision and moving forward in my recovery.
Okay, I'm not sure where everyone is ... I hope all are okay!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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You did good Juno,unfortunately I haven't been
this past week has been a world wind of stuff going on, I hadn't heard from my daughter who left, my mom and brother came down, my mom's a huge drinker and I knew it would be tough to stay sober so I guess I just didn't I didn't want to drink but I guess I just couldn't deal with all that was going on, my little brother who came with her is all into this weird internet spiritual leader and we had to take him to the bus station so he could head back east to find her,so weird! I've just been dealing with a lot and I've been drinking the whole time, I'm creeped out by this election, can't believe it's real
this past week has been a world wind of stuff going on, I hadn't heard from my daughter who left, my mom and brother came down, my mom's a huge drinker and I knew it would be tough to stay sober so I guess I just didn't I didn't want to drink but I guess I just couldn't deal with all that was going on, my little brother who came with her is all into this weird internet spiritual leader and we had to take him to the bus station so he could head back east to find her,so weird! I've just been dealing with a lot and I've been drinking the whole time, I'm creeped out by this election, can't believe it's real
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Winslow, I'm sorry you've been dealing with all that. That sounds tough! Is your daughter okay? Are you able to find a day to stop drinking again?
I've been dealing with a lot of grief and stress due to the election. I'm in the stages of grief and I'm not ready to move on yet. There are people trying to be cheerful and put this election behind us and say "Oh well, whatever will be will be." and while I understand that and it's the attitude I put forth with my kids, I'm not there emotionally yet. I feel bad and I want to work through this and not jump ahead to the point where I don't feel bad anymore. It doesn't work that way. All these people offering chipper solutions to feel better - it's not working with me.
It's a sad day in Maryland and my Mom said she went to the grocery store this morning and it was awful - all serious and somber and sad. This is a highly democratic state. At work, everyone was in the same boat. Exhausted, stressed, shaking their heads in disbelief and in need of talking and counselling. At least we all had each other. If there were any Trump supporters in the office they kept quiet. We were all hurting.
It's going to take a while to heal from this. Frankly I'm not sure I want to stay sober now. I've got some thinking to do. The wind has been knocked out my sails. It's not just the Presidency, it's the House of Representatives and the Senate all gone right wing Republican. And because the Republican Senate refused to consider Obama's supreme court nominee, they get to nominate the vacant seat on the supreme court. Dark days ahead for our country. It's about the worst possible day you can imagine here. My son is turned off by elections in general and and I think it's going to be a long time before he gets excited about an election again. My daughter said she has never been so embarrassed by her country and scared and sad for the future.
So that is what we are dealing with. Not trivial stuff at all. Sorry to be such a downer. I won't post again until I'm in a more upbeat mood...
I've been dealing with a lot of grief and stress due to the election. I'm in the stages of grief and I'm not ready to move on yet. There are people trying to be cheerful and put this election behind us and say "Oh well, whatever will be will be." and while I understand that and it's the attitude I put forth with my kids, I'm not there emotionally yet. I feel bad and I want to work through this and not jump ahead to the point where I don't feel bad anymore. It doesn't work that way. All these people offering chipper solutions to feel better - it's not working with me.
It's a sad day in Maryland and my Mom said she went to the grocery store this morning and it was awful - all serious and somber and sad. This is a highly democratic state. At work, everyone was in the same boat. Exhausted, stressed, shaking their heads in disbelief and in need of talking and counselling. At least we all had each other. If there were any Trump supporters in the office they kept quiet. We were all hurting.
It's going to take a while to heal from this. Frankly I'm not sure I want to stay sober now. I've got some thinking to do. The wind has been knocked out my sails. It's not just the Presidency, it's the House of Representatives and the Senate all gone right wing Republican. And because the Republican Senate refused to consider Obama's supreme court nominee, they get to nominate the vacant seat on the supreme court. Dark days ahead for our country. It's about the worst possible day you can imagine here. My son is turned off by elections in general and and I think it's going to be a long time before he gets excited about an election again. My daughter said she has never been so embarrassed by her country and scared and sad for the future.
So that is what we are dealing with. Not trivial stuff at all. Sorry to be such a downer. I won't post again until I'm in a more upbeat mood...
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I'm sorry you're drinking winslow. How are you going to stop?
gotta say Juno thats a real cop-out for your kids, not to mention yourself.
your kids need a sober mom - and you need to be sober too.
You know I'm right.
The Government will probably change in 4 years. You can make that more certain by putting your energies into the things that matter to you.
We simply don't have the luxury of dabbling with our alcoholism for the next four years.
D
Frankly I'm not sure I want to stay sober now.
your kids need a sober mom - and you need to be sober too.
You know I'm right.
The Government will probably change in 4 years. You can make that more certain by putting your energies into the things that matter to you.
We simply don't have the luxury of dabbling with our alcoholism for the next four years.
D
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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I'm not going to drink over this, Dee. I was just feeling incredibly stressed and upset for a while there. I read on another thread here someone saying that they weren't going to let this guy take their sobriety away from them, and I think that's how I need to look at it as well. I would only regret drinking over this, but it is not an easy process - not like you can just wake up one day and all is well with the world.
I have been connecting with many of my friends with similar views on the election and it has helped. A lot. One of my SMART Recovery friends who has years of sobriety who is really anti-Trump said he was triggered to drink/use drugs on the night of the election, but he did not. Wow, can you imagine someone with several years of sobriety feeling that way? We are being affected by this.
I had a nice phone conversation with one of my best friends - she lives in Boston - and feels exactly the way I do about the election. We spoke for about 1/2 hour and it sure feels great to get out thoughts and emotions and know that your not alone.
Nope, I didn't drink and I will not. I am exhausted, though, and need a good night's sleep.
I have been connecting with many of my friends with similar views on the election and it has helped. A lot. One of my SMART Recovery friends who has years of sobriety who is really anti-Trump said he was triggered to drink/use drugs on the night of the election, but he did not. Wow, can you imagine someone with several years of sobriety feeling that way? We are being affected by this.
I had a nice phone conversation with one of my best friends - she lives in Boston - and feels exactly the way I do about the election. We spoke for about 1/2 hour and it sure feels great to get out thoughts and emotions and know that your not alone.
Nope, I didn't drink and I will not. I am exhausted, though, and need a good night's sleep.
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Sorry I scared you, Dee! For a few moments there I was down in the dumps and saying some stuff I didn't really mean. I'm glad to be sober today waking up in this world and we shall see what happens.
Winslow, how are you doing today?
Have a good day all
Winslow, how are you doing today?
Have a good day all
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Me, too - Winslow. I want to know how everyone is doing?
How I am doing? Horrible. The election has affected me deep to my core and I don't even want to live in this country anymore. We're not supposed to talk about political stuff on here, so I'll leave it at that. I don't even want to go to my SMART meetings anymore in case there are any Trump supporters. Very sad. The support I have is within me and it is all there to do this.
I want to ask how you're doing Winslow - you don't have to respond. Just know that I'm here and care!
How I am doing? Horrible. The election has affected me deep to my core and I don't even want to live in this country anymore. We're not supposed to talk about political stuff on here, so I'll leave it at that. I don't even want to go to my SMART meetings anymore in case there are any Trump supporters. Very sad. The support I have is within me and it is all there to do this.
I want to ask how you're doing Winslow - you don't have to respond. Just know that I'm here and care!
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As long as you keep posting it won't end guys
Juno, I still think you can be the change you want to see in the world.
Change comes from action - I understand you're despairing a little and maybe disillusioned with the world right now but if everyone gives up and stays home, there'll be no change.
D
Juno, I still think you can be the change you want to see in the world.
Change comes from action - I understand you're despairing a little and maybe disillusioned with the world right now but if everyone gives up and stays home, there'll be no change.
D
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I'm fine Juno,not drinking! Thanks for asking, this election did upset me too but there's nothing I can do about it except take care of my family, self and work, all that matters is what's going on in my life, I just can't change the rest ya know?
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Winslow, I'm happy to hear that you're not drinking. I was worried about you! Good for you - you are handling the election well and taking care of you and your family. That is what is important.
Dee, thanks for the pep talk. I will get there. I don't like where I am right now. As I said, I feel like a dark cloud has been put on me. There are some positive things happening here, and I won't go into it more than that, but there is hope for the future.
There's some stressful stuff happening for me. My younger son is having issues with his school and flat out refuses to go on some days. I'm worried. My older son is doing well, though, and is running for Student Government. He's the one with autism and is also the one I consider to be a leader of all my kids. Funny how that works. The other two are shy and like to be wall flowers and melt away from attention. However, on the bad side, I falsely accused my daughter of drug use today. I was suspicious of something she posted on her Instagram account. Turns out it was just song lyrics. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, but trying to cut myself some slack because she has hurt/deceived/harmed me so many times in the last few years that my trust in her has shattered. She has got to know that the trust is gone and I'm just waiting for the next disaster from her, waiting for the ball to drop again.
The worst thing that I'm worried about is waiting for test results for a medical issue for my Mom. That is weighing on me heavily on top of the election like a giant lead ball. So, I will wait until we know more. It has not been a easy time. I find myself making deals with God like, "Please let my Mom be okay. If she is, I promise I will accept the election results." And stupid stuff like that. Why do we do things like that that just don't make sense...
I suspect I will be able to go back to meetings again soon. I just want to isolate for a little while. It does feel like a strange world right now with some people acting totally normal but others reaching out to each other for the first time post election. It's like we have to re-build relationships and see what's left of them. For some of my friends, I don't actually know who they voted for and I don't want to know, because I don't want to lose them as friends. Oh it's a strange world right now.
I am sober, too, Winslow. We can do this. It's our time.
Dee, thanks for the pep talk. I will get there. I don't like where I am right now. As I said, I feel like a dark cloud has been put on me. There are some positive things happening here, and I won't go into it more than that, but there is hope for the future.
There's some stressful stuff happening for me. My younger son is having issues with his school and flat out refuses to go on some days. I'm worried. My older son is doing well, though, and is running for Student Government. He's the one with autism and is also the one I consider to be a leader of all my kids. Funny how that works. The other two are shy and like to be wall flowers and melt away from attention. However, on the bad side, I falsely accused my daughter of drug use today. I was suspicious of something she posted on her Instagram account. Turns out it was just song lyrics. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, but trying to cut myself some slack because she has hurt/deceived/harmed me so many times in the last few years that my trust in her has shattered. She has got to know that the trust is gone and I'm just waiting for the next disaster from her, waiting for the ball to drop again.
The worst thing that I'm worried about is waiting for test results for a medical issue for my Mom. That is weighing on me heavily on top of the election like a giant lead ball. So, I will wait until we know more. It has not been a easy time. I find myself making deals with God like, "Please let my Mom be okay. If she is, I promise I will accept the election results." And stupid stuff like that. Why do we do things like that that just don't make sense...
I suspect I will be able to go back to meetings again soon. I just want to isolate for a little while. It does feel like a strange world right now with some people acting totally normal but others reaching out to each other for the first time post election. It's like we have to re-build relationships and see what's left of them. For some of my friends, I don't actually know who they voted for and I don't want to know, because I don't want to lose them as friends. Oh it's a strange world right now.
I am sober, too, Winslow. We can do this. It's our time.
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I know - you are right. Drinking is the worst option. I'm not totally isolating myself - I actually reached out to a therapist I used to have in a group therapy situation. I miss her and miss the group and she said they may be starting up again and I may rejoin. They are wonderful people and do things like cognitive techniques, mindfulness exercises, etc. It may be just what I need right now.
I also plan on getting back to more yoga and spiritual things like meditation sessions, etc. That's my new plan.
I will think about getting back to the SMART meetings soon. There's lots of support around here I know that
I also plan on getting back to more yoga and spiritual things like meditation sessions, etc. That's my new plan.
I will think about getting back to the SMART meetings soon. There's lots of support around here I know that
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Juno,I hope everything goes ok with your mom's health results, I kinda had to chuckle at the story about your daughter cuz back when MySpace was popular(which I loved more than Facebook btw) one of my daughters posted something about suicide and I freaked out!! Turns out it was song lyrics too haha,hi Dee let's have a peaceful day
let's have a peaceful day
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