One Year and Under Club Part 55
 

Continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-54-a-20.html

D

Some great posts in the last page of the last thread guys :)

I try and keep things simple - I share what I know - my experience. Often that will help someone, sometimes it doesn't...but then I know someone else's contribution just might.

The multiplicity of voices and experiences here is what makes SR great and I'm both proud and humbled to be a part of it :)

D

Well said D, I loved reading Toots post I think that should be quoted here but I couldn't do it

I appreciate everyone's input..positive or negative, you are right it could, and hopefully does, help someone. I know that certain programs have helped people over the years. I guess sometimes it aggravates me when someone is trying to get information and people shove certain programs in their face, making it sound as if it's the only way. We all know everyone is different and different strokes for different folks. Sometimes we may fall on our faces too and relapse. If that happens then it's our lesson to learn. I will gladly inform people of all choices if they are simply asking for help in general. I too, only offer what has worked for me thus far and hope that I can help one person or add one tool to their line of defense. It's so hard doing this "sobriety" thing anyway. Yes, the good outweighs the bad, but there still will be some down times. Help is help and I tell people all the time just how awesome you guys are and how much you have helped me with your own experiences. You've opened my eyes so many times I can't even count! Thank you for letting me vent here. I apologize if I offend people. Not my intention. (Hug)!

Agreed!

I doubt anyone was offended Key, I believe we all get frustrated at times when we cannot seem to get through to someone who doesn't think the same laws of alcoholism affects them, and yes, it must feel that some seem to punt certain paths to sobriety, but as you say yourself you 'offer only what works for you' and if that path worked for them, they are going to suggest it to anyone who will listen!
I guess all any of us who come here want is initially our own sobriety and then to spread the word!
For me SR has been enough, for others? They needed other tools in their kit box. Many paths end to sobriety if we stay on them. :)

And if we can't vent or be honest here, where we are understood and supported, where else can we? I've done my fair share and will inevitably continue when the need to let off steam arises. We need a safe release valve, and should feel we have that here.

True words Toots (hug). I vent here thankfully. SR has been my main stream of my sobriety. I have went through so many emotions on this site, thoughts, and personal problems. I'm so glad I found all of you to help me along. I used to cry. Oh gosh lol I still do but now I cry for a different reason. I used to cry because I just wanted to stop drinking. I felt like a prisoner. Now I cry from feelings and emotions that I've skipped for years, they all come rushing back some days. I know it's normal, but you guys know that sometimes it can be overwhelming. None the less, I cry, a lot. Lol...then I feel better.
Anyway I'm just me. And I'm finally starting to like who I see in the mirror.
:)

Terrific and inspiring posts! We haven't chosen an easy path but I am 100% sure that it's the infinitely better one. All of you have and continue to have an enormous impact on my feelings and thinking. :thanks

Hey you lot

Checking in

Got a cold and somewhat bedridden

Not real nice but if I was drinking doubt whether I'd have a nice warm bed

Or a roof over it for that matter😀

Hope youse are all ok

Thanks for the new thread d

How's the music???

Van

Get well soon Vandermast

Hi guys, good to see you all here.
We all found different routes to alcohol,
We all had different relationships with it, some longer, some stronger, some more desperate and some in such deep denial that to accept the truth is too painful, and some with the arrogance of believing their relationship with alcohol is one that they can manage. Some so fearful of a life without alcohol that they cannot see a future without it.
I struggled with that.
When I found SR, I was googling 'ways of drinking in moderation'. I wasn't an alcoholic. Oh, no, not me. My exh drinking vodka at 8am whilst spewing and shaking,, now he was an alcoholic. Me, I was just drinking too much. For too long. Me, I was just struggling with my promises every morning not to drink that night. Me, I was middle aged,middle class, kept my job, fooled my husband, managed not to total my car every morning after.
Me? I was in denial.
Me? I couldn't conceive of ever not drinking again.
Until I spent time here reading, until I tentatively began responding to those that sounded like me.
Until I realised that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Until I realised that to move forward in my life, and begin to like rather than loathe myself, I had to stop
Until I accepted I am an alcoholic.
Until I was ready to do anythingabsolutely anything to get my life back.
I am fortunate. With the wisdom, courage and daily support of the brotherhood of SR and the love and support of my Normie husband, I have been sober for 3 and 1/4 years.
Me, the one who couldn't manage 3 days,
Me, the one who didn't have a problem.
Even acknowledging our reliance on alcohol to manage all of life's little ups and downs isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Even knowing it will lose us a job, isn't enough to stop a person drinking
Even knowing it has destroyed our most loving relationships isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Some of those who come here are desperate. They know that if they keep drinking they will die, but alcohol has such a strong grip on them, on their body, on their mind, in they blood, it has chemically changed their brain, it may well be all they have left to turn to.
Some, like my exh, ultimately give everything else over to the disease. He was a year older than I am now when he succumbed. How different my life is looking forward with clear eyes, to a future of my choosing. Good days, bad days
days when I struggle, sad days. Days when I cry with joy. All shared with those I love.
All because I embraced the fear and reached in hope, in white knuckled terror at times, heart pounding.
All because I rode out those times AV tried to wheedle, bargain, tease and tempt.
All because I wanted a future more than I wanted another drink
All because I had the support I needed. And believe me, if SR hadn't been enough? I would have done everything and anything I needed to AA, SMART, rehab, you call it,my would have done it.
Yes, I am fortunate. But I also had the strength, the grit, the bull headed determination, and the vision to see a life beyond the misery that enveloped me.
We cannot judge others for not being at the point in their lives where they are ready to do anything they can to stop.
Some never do.
Some never manage, but never give up trying.
And some of us lucky ones are here telling you

IT CAN BE DONE

Hump Day lecture over, enjoy the rest of your Wednesday undies.
__________________
Even though we haven't all travelled down the same road, we are all on the same journey.

" I tried to drown my demons, only to find they could swim" Anon

TOOTS!, this was so incredible that I copied this here so everyone could reference it again. I hate when you have that end of thread post that is lost.

I remember being young. I remember when I was 17, 18, 19, and 20 is when I had my first baby. I remember thinking whatever I wanted is what I wanted and nothing you could say would sway my decisions. Most of the time if I approached my parents for advice, it was too late because I had already done whatever I was asking advice about. I was hard headed, self-centered, self-absorbed in every single way. AND that was before any drinking problem started, lol. Imagine how much worse it got once that evolved.
Just dumping some emotion this morning. Overwhelming emotion and yes, I'm crying. I know I cry because I'm feeling emotions I haven't allowed myself to feel for a very long time. Our third child is a girl. She 18, and of course knows everything especially more than her Mom and Dad. It's been much more difficult raising her as she is a female (I guess is why), lol. Her two older brothers weren't so emotional. Anyway she just always been so quick to make irrational decisions and doesn't think about anyone involved. Preparing her for life has been so damn difficult, exhausting. Of course I love her beyond belief and she is an amazing person. It's been dramatic and around every corner so unpredictable. Like me, whatever I suggest, the result is usually the opposite. Last night she just decided she was moving out. No warning, no indication, just gone. It's been up and down with her for a few years now and I just pray for a slower, more even pace at some point. It's much harder when they get older. They don't have to listen to what we say as parents and usually won't and don't. Lots of personal issues besides this and I'm preparing for surgery in about a week, so I'm a bundle of nerves and just an emotional mess right now. Pity party? Um sure I am throwing one, but how much more can I take? I have faith and I do talk to my HP (not only when I need help) so I trust that he won't give me more than I can handle. Shew, I must be a heck of a lot stronger than I ever thought before. I'm trying hard to not keep focusing on me me me. Hard to do when all I do is stupid cry! Lol
If you pray, just say a little prayer for me and my family. Just say "Amy and her family". I need all the prayers I can get! Thank you (hug) to all. :)
Flip side, thank you Lord for all my blessings. I'm alive. I'm sober and a much better person today. I am happier. I make better decisions. I am where I'm supposed to be right now. I know you're here with me walking right by my side.

Wow, a lot of inspiring posts here lately! I'm still staying sober and working on things.

I think I've been in somewhat of a rut lately and work has gotten kind of rough lately. I've gotten a lot of feelings like why am I still doing this sobriety thing and what is the point so I'm working on it now. I have to constantly remind myself how many good things are happening by staying sober and I'll get through it

We are all here with you Key!

Super posts!

SG, I found myself nodding at each of your thoughts. I kept my drinking secret and tried to convince myself that I wasn't a "real" alcoholic because I didn't drive drunk, didn't drink in the morning, etc. How wrong I was. It took an enormous effort to become and stay sober. I couldn't do it alone and ended up needing many supports and other help. My life is so much better now - calmer and filled with joy!

Key, sending many prayers your way. You will get through this, too :hug:

WWS, I believe you will get through this, too. Nearing 2 years sober I'm finally feeling that it's getting easier.

Wishing everyone a peaceful as can be sober friday :grouphug:

Key my heart goes out to you, yes from the ages 18-25ish we know so much more than our parents about life. We are also so judgmental of them and the obvious mistakes they made bringing us up. Mistakes we absolutely would never make with our children!!
Key, it may be a good thing that she stands on her own two feet for a while, that there is a physical distance between you. It may allow a bridge for the emotional distance to be crossed. I feel we never understand the difficulties of being a parent until we are one, and even then can find it hard to forgive our own for their mistakes. Keep the lines of communication gently open with words of love and support. Good luck with the op this week and well done on coping with all of this soberly. Look how far you have come!

Hiya Toots x

Morning Everyone!

Another Saturday morning without a stonking hangover.

I used to wake up and think "I don't know how many more of these I can take".

Now I wake up and think "Attack the day!"

Have a great day everyone!

Good morning, all.

Kopfan, I definitely don't miss that "morning after feeling"! Being sober just keeps getting better.

So true kopfan and Saskia!