One Year and Under Club Part 55
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Thanks Saskia! Wow .11 months already. Time does fly doesn't it. Staying sober is definitely the way to go. I'm feeling good and the cravings are all but gone but I know this is a long process and have to stay vigilant. Have a good day everyone.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
WWS just a word of warning, from one who went through it; AV will throw everything at you in the approach to your year, it will rationalise why you can now drink in moderation - you can't - it will tell you that you never had a drink problem - so why exactly did you come here?- it will do all in its power to twist your logic, weaken your willpower and temp you.
After this last big push, and you graduate to the Overs, AV lessens both in its volume and its frequency, allowing you to begin the process of 'living' a sober life as apposed to the first 12 months in recovery.
Of course, it never completely goes away, it's always looking for weak moments; dreams, memories, complacency, trauma, but it is not the same creature as in the first year.
We will have a chair ready and the coffee pot on in the Overs for you WWS!
After this last big push, and you graduate to the Overs, AV lessens both in its volume and its frequency, allowing you to begin the process of 'living' a sober life as apposed to the first 12 months in recovery.
Of course, it never completely goes away, it's always looking for weak moments; dreams, memories, complacency, trauma, but it is not the same creature as in the first year.
We will have a chair ready and the coffee pot on in the Overs for you WWS!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Originally Posted by tootsl1 
WWS just a word of warning, from one who went through it; AV will throw everything at you in the approach to your year, it will rationalise why you can now drink in moderation - you can't - it will tell you that you never had a drink problem - so why exactly did you come here?- it will do all in its power to twist your logic, weaken your willpower and temp you.
After this last big push, and you graduate to the Overs, AV lessens both in its volume and its frequency, allowing you to begin the process of 'living' a sober life as apposed to the first 12 months in recovery.
Of course, it never completely goes away, it's always looking for weak moments; dreams, memories, complacency, trauma, but it is not the same creature as in the first year.
We will have a chair ready and the coffee pot on in the Overs for you WWS!
After this last big push, and you graduate to the Overs, AV lessens both in its volume and its frequency, allowing you to begin the process of 'living' a sober life as apposed to the first 12 months in recovery.
Of course, it never completely goes away, it's always looking for weak moments; dreams, memories, complacency, trauma, but it is not the same creature as in the first year.
We will have a chair ready and the coffee pot on in the Overs for you WWS!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Kopfan - You sound great. What I learned by the highs and lows is that the old saying "this too will pass" applies to both of them. Recovery has given me great tools to manage life's ups and downs.
I can only keep what I am willing to give away. I enjoy cruising along while I can, and remember to share what I've learned when things are going well. That's why you see people like me, Toots, Saskia, Stargazer, Dee, and others offering their experiences.
I can only keep what I am willing to give away. I enjoy cruising along while I can, and remember to share what I've learned when things are going well. That's why you see people like me, Toots, Saskia, Stargazer, Dee, and others offering their experiences.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
WWS - Way to go on 11 months!!
I'll share my experience with milestones and the one year mark. I didn't experience an "AV" whispering thoughts of drinking in my ear. I did notice that over time I had more and more to give to others. I try to only share my own experiences, so I suppose it makes sense that so as I had more sober experiences, I had more to share.
The difference to me between year one and year two was that I'd already had the first summer/ vacation/ birthday/ Christmas/ New Years Eve sober, so I knew I could do it. In year two I started to get to know what ways I'd truly enjoy it.
Year one I didn't know if I was ever going to be happy. For me, being halfway into my 3rd year sober, I'm really hitting my stride. It just gets better and better, and I am incredibly grateful every day for another sober day.
Keep up the good work WWS!!
I'll share my experience with milestones and the one year mark. I didn't experience an "AV" whispering thoughts of drinking in my ear. I did notice that over time I had more and more to give to others. I try to only share my own experiences, so I suppose it makes sense that so as I had more sober experiences, I had more to share.
The difference to me between year one and year two was that I'd already had the first summer/ vacation/ birthday/ Christmas/ New Years Eve sober, so I knew I could do it. In year two I started to get to know what ways I'd truly enjoy it.
Year one I didn't know if I was ever going to be happy. For me, being halfway into my 3rd year sober, I'm really hitting my stride. It just gets better and better, and I am incredibly grateful every day for another sober day.
Keep up the good work WWS!!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,150
Great points Glee and Toots!
I agree going through the first year of each holiday sober poses challenges. By the second year, I knew that I could get through any holiday or event sober, because I actually had!
Perhaps my biggest worry going into my second year was motivation. I had yet to get a consistent level of energy each day. Some days I struggled to get up from the computer and do some laundry. Thoughts like" Is this as good as it gets" entered my mind from time to time. I realize now that things don't magically get better just because I crossed the one year line. I drank daily for decades, so it should have been expected that it would take me time to learn a different way of living.
Glee is right. I think I am now hitting a more consistent stride in my day to day life. In reality, we will have high and low energy days. That's just life. My AV has totally quieted down, though I occasionally feel a little twinge of remorse when I see a good bottle of wine opened, or my friends go on and on about the latest microbrew. That passes very quickly and I realize just how much incredibly better my life is now. I just got my best review in many years at work, I am getting along much better with my spouse, I am saving all kinds of money, and I am a better father to my kids.
There is no way that I would want to throw that all away to have a glass of wine once again!
I agree going through the first year of each holiday sober poses challenges. By the second year, I knew that I could get through any holiday or event sober, because I actually had!
Perhaps my biggest worry going into my second year was motivation. I had yet to get a consistent level of energy each day. Some days I struggled to get up from the computer and do some laundry. Thoughts like" Is this as good as it gets" entered my mind from time to time. I realize now that things don't magically get better just because I crossed the one year line. I drank daily for decades, so it should have been expected that it would take me time to learn a different way of living.
Glee is right. I think I am now hitting a more consistent stride in my day to day life. In reality, we will have high and low energy days. That's just life. My AV has totally quieted down, though I occasionally feel a little twinge of remorse when I see a good bottle of wine opened, or my friends go on and on about the latest microbrew. That passes very quickly and I realize just how much incredibly better my life is now. I just got my best review in many years at work, I am getting along much better with my spouse, I am saving all kinds of money, and I am a better father to my kids.
There is no way that I would want to throw that all away to have a glass of wine once again!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Stargazer - I think you have a great outlook. I've had similar experiences as a result of recovery, and they definitely keep me on the right path.
I will add the often-heard cautionary tale that what starts out for someone who's sober as one glass of wine every once in a while can turn into a full on relapse. Our own Carlos tells the story of how a half glass of wine with dinner after 11.5 years sober turned into a terrible descent into the bowels of addiction. Within months he was not just as low as he'd been when he stopped drinking, but as low as he would have been if he had been drinking the entire time.
His experience, which he shares so freely (thanks Carlos!) scares me straight when I need to play my own tape forward. There's real power in sharing our experiences with each other. On a site like SR there's no bounds to how far our reach extends.
I will add the often-heard cautionary tale that what starts out for someone who's sober as one glass of wine every once in a while can turn into a full on relapse. Our own Carlos tells the story of how a half glass of wine with dinner after 11.5 years sober turned into a terrible descent into the bowels of addiction. Within months he was not just as low as he'd been when he stopped drinking, but as low as he would have been if he had been drinking the entire time.
His experience, which he shares so freely (thanks Carlos!) scares me straight when I need to play my own tape forward. There's real power in sharing our experiences with each other. On a site like SR there's no bounds to how far our reach extends.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Good Day Everyone!
112 days today. 16 Weeks or four months.
This is my fourth day of no sugar. I've ditched the Kitkats, Magnum ice creams, cookies et al. I've also decided to follow a Paleo type low carb diet so no bread, rice, grains, wheat. Just plenty of meat, fish and veggies. It's the grains and refined sugar that cause my Psoriasis to flare up. When I stopped drinking the Psoriasis started to fade but when I upped the ante with chocolate bars to compensate for the sugar loss it started coming back again.
This was a lifestyle change I've been wanting to make for years but could never achieve because drinking alcohol perpetuated the sugar craving and negated any low carb weight loss.
This time around I've not experienced any of the headaches or "low carb flu" associated with reducing carbs substantially. I have around two and a half stone to lose to get to my ideal weight.
Weight loss should be a lot easier without alcohol getting in the way. At least I won't have to starve myself anymore so I could still have my drink binge in the evening!
Have a great day everyone!
112 days today. 16 Weeks or four months.
This is my fourth day of no sugar. I've ditched the Kitkats, Magnum ice creams, cookies et al. I've also decided to follow a Paleo type low carb diet so no bread, rice, grains, wheat. Just plenty of meat, fish and veggies. It's the grains and refined sugar that cause my Psoriasis to flare up. When I stopped drinking the Psoriasis started to fade but when I upped the ante with chocolate bars to compensate for the sugar loss it started coming back again.
This was a lifestyle change I've been wanting to make for years but could never achieve because drinking alcohol perpetuated the sugar craving and negated any low carb weight loss.
This time around I've not experienced any of the headaches or "low carb flu" associated with reducing carbs substantially. I have around two and a half stone to lose to get to my ideal weight.
Weight loss should be a lot easier without alcohol getting in the way. At least I won't have to starve myself anymore so I could still have my drink binge in the evening!
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Thanks for sharing your experiences going into the second year glee and stargazer! I can never lose sight of the things I have learned but I'm looking forward to a sober future. Your posts are inspirational!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Sounds great kopfan getting rid of the sugar! I'm "almost" on a no sugar diet but have really improved my diet overall and revamped my exercise program with the YMCA and it is working. Weight loss wasn't really my major goal but I have lost about 10 pounds over the last few months and am now at what I consider my ideal weight.
I couldn't have done this while drinking either.
I couldn't have done this while drinking either.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Hi Undies,
It has been a while since I posted here, or anywhere outside of the DQ thread - which I love. However, since returning to SR in July of 2013 at like 6 weeks sober at the time, Undies has been a great place to talk recovery, and, keep it real.
On the changes between year one and two....humm, I can't say that anything really stands out for me. Somehow, someway I learned early on this time to really keep as much of my life ODAAT - or, in present tense as possible.
I struggled far too long at living between my ears in the past and future. Living on highs and lows. All or nothing....etc. My work in recovery has lead to a peace and serenity that had escaped me for my first 6 decades.
I spend time thinking about being grateful for so many things that in my active addiction past I simply took for granted. I've honestly learned acceptance of the things beyond my control. Prior to doing something I llok to see if ego or humility is the driver. I embrace vulnerability and use it as a reason to reach out and grow. I practice random acts of kindness. I stay in touch with other alcoholics daily. I practice rigorous honesty to the best of my ability. That was my very first impact message from the rooms. I pass decisions through the filter of - do the next best right thing.
I am far from perfect at any of those things. Do I fall off course? Of course I do - it is progress and not perfection, right?
Just in the past 10 days I can think back on 2 situations that were challenging to my recovery. One, with one of my girls, is reoccurring in its frustration (especially when my ex is in the minutia). The other, with a date that got drunk as we watched a bad-ass funk band on Friday night.
In both cases, I looked for personal growth. With my daughter and a reoccurring issue, I realized how easily I can slip back into my alcoholic thinking. I wanted to be right - make she and ex realize the error of their ways - lol. It's so funny how being right and being at peace are so opposite. Being right in a disagreement is kinda pointless if serenity is your goal.
Bigger picture - anger triggers alcoholic thinking in me. I guess if I had thought about that, it would have seemed obvious. I rarely get angry and have fought hard at not getting angry in recovery. However, it's going to happen - and I now realize the trigger to alcoholic thinking and hopefully will come to a resolve faster and easier in the future.
The date scenario is interesting too. This was the second time in recovery for me that a date got blasted. While this woman didn't fall down in the middle of the street like 1st one did - she was close. She knew I was a recovering alkie and had said drinking wasn't important to her. Me thinks that was a "pants on fire" type lie. Haha, that's easily addressed...she is off my radar.
The other thing I noticed from that miserable date...probs the first time I was at a bar for a rockin live band in a really party atmosphere. It threw me. I saw the bartender pouring Parton shots a few times - my shot on choice - and they looked f'n good. Thinking back, I was reminded of another early lesson - change people, places and things.
Well, the band really was good, and I decided to stay that first set out. In the end, my takeaway was a lot of drunk people - many old folks acting crazy, trying to look young and cool, that just looked foolish. That's the suncoast of Florida senior bar scene -. Live bands at bars is now off my list - for good!
Haha, oh...back to my original hummm about changes after a year. Nothing from above came with a date. It really is a journey with a constant need to stay focused and vigilant. No destination or time stamp markings....just today and the amazing promise that sobriety offers.
Hi to ALL! Babs, a special treat to see you so engaged in your recovery. Kop, looking for a new challenge that includes no processed sugar - try a Whole 30 (just google it). A recovery friend turned me on to this opportunity to establish a new relationship with food and I simply love it. Yes, you actually get Tiger Blood!!
Hey, let's enjoy this gift we gave ourselves of sobriety today.
Carlos
It has been a while since I posted here, or anywhere outside of the DQ thread - which I love. However, since returning to SR in July of 2013 at like 6 weeks sober at the time, Undies has been a great place to talk recovery, and, keep it real.
On the changes between year one and two....humm, I can't say that anything really stands out for me. Somehow, someway I learned early on this time to really keep as much of my life ODAAT - or, in present tense as possible.
I struggled far too long at living between my ears in the past and future. Living on highs and lows. All or nothing....etc. My work in recovery has lead to a peace and serenity that had escaped me for my first 6 decades.
I spend time thinking about being grateful for so many things that in my active addiction past I simply took for granted. I've honestly learned acceptance of the things beyond my control. Prior to doing something I llok to see if ego or humility is the driver. I embrace vulnerability and use it as a reason to reach out and grow. I practice random acts of kindness. I stay in touch with other alcoholics daily. I practice rigorous honesty to the best of my ability. That was my very first impact message from the rooms. I pass decisions through the filter of - do the next best right thing.
I am far from perfect at any of those things. Do I fall off course? Of course I do - it is progress and not perfection, right?
Just in the past 10 days I can think back on 2 situations that were challenging to my recovery. One, with one of my girls, is reoccurring in its frustration (especially when my ex is in the minutia). The other, with a date that got drunk as we watched a bad-ass funk band on Friday night.
In both cases, I looked for personal growth. With my daughter and a reoccurring issue, I realized how easily I can slip back into my alcoholic thinking. I wanted to be right - make she and ex realize the error of their ways - lol. It's so funny how being right and being at peace are so opposite. Being right in a disagreement is kinda pointless if serenity is your goal.
Bigger picture - anger triggers alcoholic thinking in me. I guess if I had thought about that, it would have seemed obvious. I rarely get angry and have fought hard at not getting angry in recovery. However, it's going to happen - and I now realize the trigger to alcoholic thinking and hopefully will come to a resolve faster and easier in the future.
The date scenario is interesting too. This was the second time in recovery for me that a date got blasted. While this woman didn't fall down in the middle of the street like 1st one did - she was close. She knew I was a recovering alkie and had said drinking wasn't important to her. Me thinks that was a "pants on fire" type lie. Haha, that's easily addressed...she is off my radar.
The other thing I noticed from that miserable date...probs the first time I was at a bar for a rockin live band in a really party atmosphere. It threw me. I saw the bartender pouring Parton shots a few times - my shot on choice - and they looked f'n good. Thinking back, I was reminded of another early lesson - change people, places and things.
Well, the band really was good, and I decided to stay that first set out. In the end, my takeaway was a lot of drunk people - many old folks acting crazy, trying to look young and cool, that just looked foolish. That's the suncoast of Florida senior bar scene -
. Live bands at bars is now off my list - for good!Haha, oh...back to my original hummm about changes after a year. Nothing from above came with a date. It really is a journey with a constant need to stay focused and vigilant. No destination or time stamp markings....just today and the amazing promise that sobriety offers.
Hi to ALL! Babs, a special treat to see you so engaged in your recovery.
Kop, looking for a new challenge that includes no processed sugar - try a Whole 30 (just google it). A recovery friend turned me on to this opportunity to establish a new relationship with food and I simply love it. Yes, you actually get Tiger Blood!!Hey, let's enjoy this gift we gave ourselves of sobriety today.
Carlos
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Always good to see you, Carlos and listen to the thoughts straight from your heart. Progress not perfection is my mantra these days. There are moments I think about drinking and I don't know if that will disappear or not. What matters is that I know I can wait it out.
Kopfan, great to hear you are at four months!
Kopfan, great to hear you are at four months!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Morning Everyone!
I took a look at the "Whole30" and it seems similar to what I'm already doing - just no acceptance of any "slips" and some tough love!
That cookie is not a "treat" its just plain bad for you.
The drink obsession is beginning to fade away. Four months and I'm just beginning to break free of the constant alcohol thoughts.
Have a great day everyone!
I took a look at the "Whole30" and it seems similar to what I'm already doing - just no acceptance of any "slips" and some tough love!
That cookie is not a "treat" its just plain bad for you.
The drink obsession is beginning to fade away. Four months and I'm just beginning to break free of the constant alcohol thoughts.
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
hugs to you Carlos--- and I can't tell you guys how things really are turning around. At least for today they are. I don't think a day goes by yet that I don't think about drinking. If it's because I'm mad at the world or just plain can't help it! but , trust me it is getting easier to kick that AV off my shoulder or foot or wherever he thinks will turn my head. I've tried and listened to the advise given to me and it seems to click more each day. Thank you everyone !
Babs
Babs
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
OT, congrats on 6 months - a big milestone!
Babs, that AV does get weaker though I still hear it periodically. A lot seems to depend on my mood and what's going on in my life but sometimes it happens for no reason that I can see. Each time I say 'no' gives me strength.
Babs, that AV does get weaker though I still hear it periodically. A lot seems to depend on my mood and what's going on in my life but sometimes it happens for no reason that I can see. Each time I say 'no' gives me strength.
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