One Year and Under Club Part 55
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Hi --Seeing much better today and go for a recheck this morning. Glad to be here and sober. Had a disagreement with H last night and it wasn't pretty. Anyway talked myself through it and I'm sober.
take care everyone !
Babs
take care everyone !
Babs
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Glad your surgeries went well Babs. I had both eyes done last year and the difference is amazing. I spent a week between surgeries and the difference between eyes was crazy. It was as if I was wearing badly scratched sunglasses all the time before surgery. My color perception was way off. White walls appeared cream to me for example. I thought something was wrong with my first surgery because everything was so bright!
Welcome to the world of the seeing!
Welcome to the world of the seeing!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Hey thanks Stargazer---ha ha ----I know what you mean==It's like we got a new TV. Will be glad when I'm all done so, I can put on a little makeup. Just don't feel right going out without it. I'm going to go to AA after my recheck appointment if they don't dilate my eye. I missed last week. and really need to go. Been having problems getting along with H and can't put my finger on it. Darn---Anyway ==hope everyone is doing well.
Babs
Babs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Babs - When my mood is out of sorts, AA usually helps. Meetings have a way of giving me exactly what I didn't know I needed.
SR helps too. I don't venture too far around these boards, but I get a lot out of being here. It's a huge source of healing and support.
This month I'm coming up on 2 1/2 years sober - thanks to all of you.
SR helps too. I don't venture too far around these boards, but I get a lot out of being here. It's a huge source of healing and support.
This month I'm coming up on 2 1/2 years sober - thanks to all of you.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
And what a wild ride that 2.5 years have been with you Glee watching you grow, you have worked hard to ensure you have everything in your toolbox to fight and maintain your sobriety, and freely share your experiences here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Morning Everyone!
After I made it to 100 days I suddenly lurched into a depression.
"Is this all there is?"
"Is all the effort worth it?"
I know it is and I know the answer is to keep on keeping on, I felt a bit miserable for no reason other than I'm tired of thinking about drinking or not drinking when I don't drink anymore.
Then when I woke up this morning (after oversleeping for 10 hours straight ) I was full of beans and raring to go. Talk about a rollercoaster ride. I'm amazed at how resilient my AV is and how it refuses to go away even after all this time.
Have a great day everyone!
After I made it to 100 days I suddenly lurched into a depression.
"Is this all there is?"
"Is all the effort worth it?"
I know it is and I know the answer is to keep on keeping on, I felt a bit miserable for no reason other than I'm tired of thinking about drinking or not drinking when I don't drink anymore.
Then when I woke up this morning (after oversleeping for 10 hours straight ) I was full of beans and raring to go. Talk about a rollercoaster ride. I'm amazed at how resilient my AV is and how it refuses to go away even after all this time.
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Kopfan, good going! Although the length if time varies, I gather that it's not unusual to have a wild ride for quite some time. My first year was rough and I don't assume that the AV will never come up again. It does occasionally - but the intensity is way less and "thinking it all the way through" has worked well for me. These days (nearly at 2 years) those pesky thoughts seem like just the normal background of my life and thinking it through goes quickly and easily after much practice :-)
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Kopfan, I have definitely been through much the same, the first year is really hard on a person. As we spend more time sober, we spend more time with ourselves and those around us, without the benefit of the bottle to hide behind. It shines a spotlight on all the things we have been hiding from.
Then there comes a point in the early months when we think. 'Ok, I've done sobriety, I've got a handle on it... Now what? ' and a kind of despondency set in with me for a while, like ' is this it?'
I think I wrote something about it in my blogs.
But the thing is, I know that you are looking at doing things in sobriety that you haven't done for a long time, and once that begins to become your normal, then the future becomes something you can mold, not something you nead to dread.
You are doing great Kopfan, truly.
Then there comes a point in the early months when we think. 'Ok, I've done sobriety, I've got a handle on it... Now what? ' and a kind of despondency set in with me for a while, like ' is this it?'
I think I wrote something about it in my blogs.
But the thing is, I know that you are looking at doing things in sobriety that you haven't done for a long time, and once that begins to become your normal, then the future becomes something you can mold, not something you nead to dread.
You are doing great Kopfan, truly.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Morning Everyone!
Thanks Saskia, Toots! I needed a little pep talk!
It was my suggestion to have an impromptu BBQ last night and invited round a few close family members. Only my wife was drinking. I was slightly tempted myself until she started lurching into drunken repeatedness and I realised what a bad choice that would have been.
The longer I stay sober the easier it becomes to stay sober.
I enjoyed myself more than any instance of falling on the floor drunk and took my son and his girlfriend home at the end of the night which was a good feeling as well.
I'm starting to warm up to this being sober gig!
Have a great day everyone!
Thanks Saskia, Toots! I needed a little pep talk!
It was my suggestion to have an impromptu BBQ last night and invited round a few close family members. Only my wife was drinking. I was slightly tempted myself until she started lurching into drunken repeatedness and I realised what a bad choice that would have been.
The longer I stay sober the easier it becomes to stay sober.
I enjoyed myself more than any instance of falling on the floor drunk and took my son and his girlfriend home at the end of the night which was a good feeling as well.
I'm starting to warm up to this being sober gig!
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Kopfan, that's great! Doing those "little" things helps us realize how very much better being sober really is.
Another thing I found is that for the first months, I had a difficult time thinking of things I liked doing because I had spent most of my free time getting and being drunk so I was out of the habit of enjoying the simple things in life and tended to just sit around. Once I got past that and started doing things that I couldn't when I was drinking, life got so much better and drinking gradually receded into the far background :-)
Another thing I found is that for the first months, I had a difficult time thinking of things I liked doing because I had spent most of my free time getting and being drunk so I was out of the habit of enjoying the simple things in life and tended to just sit around. Once I got past that and started doing things that I couldn't when I was drinking, life got so much better and drinking gradually receded into the far background :-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Congratulations on two years Saskia!
kopfan- I think I have been going through the same thing recently with the "Is this all there is?" Maybe they are replacing the strong cravings that have happened and I just recently realized I haven't had any lately. That has to be a good thing. Getting and staying sober is certainly worth it.
kopfan- I think I have been going through the same thing recently with the "Is this all there is?" Maybe they are replacing the strong cravings that have happened and I just recently realized I haven't had any lately. That has to be a good thing. Getting and staying sober is certainly worth it.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
That feeling of "Is that all there is" was very common for me in my first year. At your stage, you realize you have given up something that was a huge part of your daily life and you are looking around to see what great thing replaced it.
Sobriety isn't a great present that shines like a new car or television. It is a quiet reformulation of daily living. The gift is waking up not hungover every day. Not worrying about being pulled over by the police because you have been drinking.
It's funny how at 100 days I already kind of forgot some of the worst aspects of drinking. I had to learn to keep replaying that tape of my last days drinking over and over in my head to remember why I was doing this.
I also think that I too was dealing with emotions that I had not realized I had felt because I drank them away every day. I realized how emotionally immature I was for a fifty something old man, lol. There was a lot of growing up I realized that I had to do, and it was a little scary.
Hang in there kopfan. You will likely swing with these type of thoughts once in a while in the coming months. It is totally normal. Life is full of ups and downs. We just don't drink them away now.
Sobriety isn't a great present that shines like a new car or television. It is a quiet reformulation of daily living. The gift is waking up not hungover every day. Not worrying about being pulled over by the police because you have been drinking.
It's funny how at 100 days I already kind of forgot some of the worst aspects of drinking. I had to learn to keep replaying that tape of my last days drinking over and over in my head to remember why I was doing this.
I also think that I too was dealing with emotions that I had not realized I had felt because I drank them away every day. I realized how emotionally immature I was for a fifty something old man, lol. There was a lot of growing up I realized that I had to do, and it was a little scary.
Hang in there kopfan. You will likely swing with these type of thoughts once in a while in the coming months. It is totally normal. Life is full of ups and downs. We just don't drink them away now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Saskia - Congrats on two years!
Kopfan - Stargazer said it well! I still think about drinking from time to time, but so much less frequently than I did at 100 days sober. Sobriety becomes a habit. For me it's sustained by the way my life has improved by embracing recovery.
Kopfan - Stargazer said it well! I still think about drinking from time to time, but so much less frequently than I did at 100 days sober. Sobriety becomes a habit. For me it's sustained by the way my life has improved by embracing recovery.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
