venuscat

I'm so glad your dad is stable love.
And you coped so so well with that stress....every positive step we take diffuses it a little more huh?

Different circumstances, but I have had so much stress in the past week or two, and I put myself in so much danger by NOT handling it well. I didn't talk about it, and I pretty much made myself ill. My negative self-talk told me that I was a loser as well, and didn't deserve any of the happiness I have in my life.

I also didn't go to a meeting.....just so dumb. I was close to a relapse, and didn't even see it until I found myself standing here trembling, considering asking the many grass smokers around me to please give me some....I told Nick (Goat).

A meeting sounds pretty good about now.

I hope you enjoy the women's meeting tomorrow night. ♥

Dee74

I'm sorry about your dad but it sounds like he's doing better now
Hope you can get a little sleep,

D

Angie247

I'm so sorry that you're under that stress, venuscat. You are wonderful person, so caring, you've helped so many people and you deserve nothing but the best. I'm glad you talked to Goat. (hugs)

venuscat

Thank you dear Angie. ♥

The stress goes away the more I talk; I have no idea why I stopped.

How was today love?
Were you able to go to the women's meeting?

Dee74

I'm really glad you reconsidered Suze

D

Angie247

Thank you so much venuscat and Dee.

I did go to the meeting. It was so nice, very welcoming there and I actually spoke and said a little about my story. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.

My dad is doing better. They thought because he used a muscle relaxer that might have caused his blood pressure to dip. He's resting comfortably at home with my mom and their little rat terrier Molly, who follows my daddy everywhere. He's gone though a lot but he is regaining his strength slowly and we are so happy to see him feeling better.

Another thing is that we all got a substantial raise at work. Just announced today. Two dollars an hour more, and this will be such an amazing thing. I get paid usually twice a month and it took one paycheck and part of the next for rent and my place isn't all that. Sometimes money got very tight, but this will make things a lot better. So glad I didn't drink, and it's day 73 today.

venuscat

Oh WOW!!!! So happy for you re the pay raise. That's fantastic!
Also fantastic that your dad is doing so much better.

I am SO glad you liked the meeting.
Women's meetings have always made me feel very safe.
Do you think you might go to that one again?

And 73 days is awesome. ♥

Dee74

Congratulations on all counts Angie

D

Angie247

Thank you both so much!! <3

Venuscat, I would love to go to the same meeting again. I felt really comfortable there.

It's been a nice day. I was not expecting to see my son today since it's his day with his dad but I got a phone call asking if I could watch him for a few hours. Um, of course! Although, if I had been drinking this would have been a total impossibility. Saturdays were my drinking day. Those were such lonely awful days. I never want to go back to that life. Alex and I went to Applebee's and had a nice meal. He hardly touched his fries, but he likes their steak on the kids menu. He was so excited to play the game that was on the table. We both got the strawberry lemonade which is so good.

I'm staying away from facebook for a while. People are entitled to their opinions but I can't handle the arguing and mean memes usually about people who think differently politically than they do. I have unfollowed a bunch while staying friends but I can't get away from it. Time to take a break. So, I'm going to work at 6 in the morning and it will be overtime pay! I'm going to treat Elvis to a new cat tree when I get paid in two weeks. He deserves it.

venuscat

I noticed how reasonable cat trees are at the markets here....and I looked online, and found some really really good ones that are so well priced. You probably did that too...

So glad you had that time with Alex.
Gosh, it's just such a blessing to be able to say yes because we are sober, huh.
And strawberry lemonade sounds divine. I must try that. (Which I will be able to do when I get back there ).

So glad that you are going back to that meeting.

And as for FB....I always hated it, and haven't been anywhere near it since last August/September. I actually just read up on deleting my account completely without losing access to all the apps I log into using my FB login.

You are probably asleep by now.....sweet dreams love. ♥

PhoenixJ

Angie247

Thank you, venuscat and Hi Phoenix!

Good day but a little stressful at work. We had a meeting and things are always changing but we just have to roll with it. It was POURING rain when I left but that doesn't bother me too much. Not crazy about driving in rain and I needed to stop at the grocery store. There was a sudden urge to drink and I swear it lasted 30 seconds and then it was over. I even walked past the aisle with alcohol and didn't even think about it. I usually try to avoid that aisle but I was noticing the French vanilla coffee creamer and walked past the alcohol. Feeling good tonight. Made chicken salad and it was tasty. Grateful for these 11 weeks of sobriety.

venuscat

on 11 weeks dearest Angie!! ♥

venuscat

I have been having a few drinking thoughts lately. It's hard being back here (I was in the US for almost two months) by myself. No family anymore, and I live in a massive 'party' culture. People are always drinking.....but I was reminded that it's OK to have those thoughts; it's what we do with them that matters. And what you did was wonderful!!!

And chicken salad sounds pretty good to me too....thinking abut dinner now.

Goodnight love. ♥

gleefan

Good job on 11 weeks sober!!

I'm so glad you're getting comfortable in your sober skin.

Angie247

Thank ya'll so much!! You are all so good to me, and I truly appreciate all of you.

I went to see my addiction counselor tonight. I've been going for almost three months now and I was wondering if I should keep going every week. I told my mom that I was going and I was considering going twice a month but she thinks that I should keep going every week. So, I'll keep going weekly and I will think about cutting back in another 3 months. Might need to go weekly for a long time. My mom told me that she thinks that it is really good for me and wants me to continue. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my sobriety. I guess it's normal but we bring up stuff that I don't want to talk about sometimes and that's what therapy is sometimes. He's easy to talk to and I'll keep going.

gleefan

Good idea. Liike the saying goes, if it ain't broke don't fix it.

venuscat

I think it's a good idea too love.
And I'm very glad you have a nice counsellor. ♥

Angie247

Having a moment and I thought I would post. I'm not wanting a drink but I'm missing my son tonight. He woke up this morning and he was pretending a little bit to be sick so he wouldn't have to go to school. I know when he is sick and this was a sure act. I did this plenty of times so I just hugged him and told him he would have a good day. He had a good breakfast, and we watched something funny on tv before we had to go. There was a moment, I wanted to say "let's both play hookie" but no, he needed to go to school and I needed to go to work. I made sure to give him some good snacks for later in the day, and the cafeteria was having one of his favorite lunches. His dad has him now and I miss my sweetie terribly. I'll see him soon and I need to keep myself busy. Still no desire to drink but I know that can come around quickly.

venuscat

(((Angie))) ♥

You are a wonderful mum. (Or mom I guess; I need to get used to that). ♥