Angie247

Better day today. They are moving the woman who told me what was said to a spot across the office. She always seems irritated and I hope that this will make her happier but on a selfish note, I am hopeful some of the drama will leave now too. Her first day at her new location will be on Monday. As far as me, I just try to do my work as best I possibly can, be polite to everyone, and stay out of the office politics.

It's day 66. No desire to drink tonight. I'm working on Sunday until noon to get the mandatory overtime out of the way. All I can think of now, is being so happy that I get to sleep in tomorrow and how awesome sober sleeping is. I'll get my sweet boy after work and we will enjoy our day. It's going to be a nice weekend.

Angie247

Another good thing about sobriety - I just noticed that I'm out of bacon and I can safely drive to the store to go get some. I really want a BLT but I have to be up at 5:00am for work in the morning and it's already after 8pm. Decisions, decisions . . . which I can think about clearly because I'm not drinking.

gleefan

I think it's great that the issue with the office gossip resolved itself. I can't say for sure without being there if the same happened to her, but at work I manage difficult people/gossips/people at the center of every drama by rearranging desks to seat them "strategically."

Hearing how strong you are feeling in sobriety strengthens mine. Have you considered sharing your experience strength and hope by posting in 1 year and under thread??

Angie247

Thank you, Glee. I have thought about posting there but I'm always afraid of posting something that I will think as dumb. I can't really explain it. I will get out of my comfort zone and post there tonight. Thank you for telling me because I do need to make some changes.

I worked 6 hours today, and it was nice. Not too many people there so I could concentrate. They put me on papers which I cringed at because of the comment but I think I did a good job and I worked at a steady pace. I can't believe how I let that comment take such a big hit on my self esteem and I am still feeling the effects from it. Need to talk to my therapist about it this week. I actually went to see him on the day when it happened last week, but I guess I wasn't ready to talk about it out loud yet. I do believe something happened with the person who told me, she told another person something that she heard about them and I think that person went to the boss about it. She will now not be sitting next to anyone, and she looked miserable on Friday after she was told. Sometimes I think it's so silly and I need to chill out. I've made it into too much of a big deal and I will work on letting it go.

Dee74

noone is going to think any post of yours is dumb Angie

D

gleefan

I have posted every thought that came to mind on the 1 year and under thread the entire first and second years I was sober! Everyone is very respectful & supportive. I think it's a safe place for me to share and I really enjoy the fellowship of following each other's ups and downs. Everyone is a little bit different and when I had dilemmas (such as the recent one with your coworker who ended up getting moved), I found it helpful to hear other perspectives.

Angie247

Thank you, Dee and Glee. I'm 10 weeks sober today. I didn't think I would ever hit 10 days sober again so this is awesome. Still very early but I feel so much better. My dad is doing so much better after his health scare and we are so relieved. He and my mom go to the doctor on the same day this week and both are checkups.

I got audited at work today (knew it was coming, they do this 4 times a year for everyone) and I did awesome. The woman who initially complained about my work was complaining about two other people's work today and she has a very loud voice and NO filter. Whenever she talks, it's something negative and I could still hear her with my earbuds on. Maybe she'll get moved right next to the boss's office. I can hope.

Feeling more like myself after I let that silly comment get to me so much. Grateful for all the blessings in my life.

Dee74

Congratulations again Angie

D

PhoenixJ

gleefan

I am so happy to hear it!

Also glad that you can see that the woman at work's comment said a lot about her - not you. The proof is in the audit!

Keep that positive momentum going.

Angie247

Desire to drink is intense.

Dee74

what's wrong Angie?

Angie247

The only meetings tonight around here are for men and "young people".

gleefan

I am sure the young people will be happy to have you. If you have an intense desire to drink, you are welcome at AA.

Dee74

I meant whats making you have the desire to drink.
I reckon you could join a young peoples meeting if you needed to?

D

Angie247

I would feel so out of place walking in there. I can't go there.

gleefan

You can go there but don't have to if you don't want to. The thing is, people at AA love to help, so you'd be welcome.

What's wrong? Why the strong desire to drink? If you don't go to the young folks meeting what are you going to do instead?

Angie247

Thank you Dee and Glee. I'm not drinking. Just dealing with major stress and for the first time in a long time actually dealing with it and not numbing myself with alcohol. My AV was screaming at me to drink but I'm not. I got this. Sorry about that.

Dee74

I think sometimes it's worth facing your fears & insecurities.

You would be very welcome at a young persons meeting, especially if you were in trouble.

I looked up and the age range cut off is 35. Even if you're older they won't kick you out.

The Third Tradition states, "The only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking."

I'm sorry for whatever the major stress is.

D

Angie247

Thank you Dee and I appreciate you looking that up. I'm 5 years past that, but now that I've calmed down I know that I wouldn't be thrown out. It was issues with worrying about my dad, his blood pressure was 81/52 and he was back in the hospital, feeling major guilt about not being there then of course the thoughts came up with they always deserved a better daughter than me, and then it's my son deserves better than me, then a mistake that I made at work came back to me, it was just brought to my attention then that was it and being burnt out at work and I was feeling like the biggest loser on the planet. Alex is with his dad tonight but I called him after I had calmed down and asked him about his day. It was a nice talk. Then, I went to get a sandwich and I'm back home. Planning on going to the women's meeting tomorrow night. My dad's blood pressure has been stabilized and he's wearing a heart monitor for 24 hours.