Blogs


Notices

Class of March 2011 Part 25

Old 10-17-2016, 03:07 PM
  # 161 (permalink)  
Member
 
PeanutButterCup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,141
Blog Entries: 1
2 MONTHS!!! WOOT WOOT!!!! Yay, Aussie!!!!

To update you on my friend's daughter, the rheumetologist said it's not that. Oy. At least one more thing is out, but we still don't know what it is. Neurology is next, I guess. It's been a couple months of horrible pain, tons of tests, and no answers. They are all completely worn out and down about it. We talked this morning (we Skype twice per week, always) and they decided to not have me come out because it might bring on more stress than it alleviated. I get that. I kinda thought that might be the case, but I wanted to offer since dh had brought it up. I love them all so much!
PeanutButterCup is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to PeanutButterCup For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-17-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-17-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 05:06 PM
  # 162 (permalink)  
Member
 
mirage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,536
Good stuff Aussie and Lofty! Congrats to you both, keep it up...you're STRONG!

Sorry about your friend, PBC. Sad and scary.

I'm in a funk but it might be cuz I'm trying to largely cut out sugar and I'm eating low carb. It feels kind of like quitting smoking. Crabby, down, etc. Geez, I feel like I'm always quitting stuff. I've been crying lately, thinking of my kids growing up and moving out. I only have this one year with my oldest before he goes to college. It just breaks. my. heart. He's such a big part of this household and my life. All my energy has gone into these kids for 17 years, especially being a stay at home mom. I'm with them SO much. Plus, he doesn't go out a lot with friends, etc. so he's home a lot. He's not the type to go to his room, he sits with us, always talking. lol Anyway, I know I should think of the positive but sometimes it just hits me. This sugar thing today isn't helping. Blahhhh, that's my rant.
mirage is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to mirage For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-17-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-17-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-17-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 05:43 PM
  # 163 (permalink)  
Member
 
PeanutButterCup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,141
Blog Entries: 1
That sounds like a big mixture of sad/scared/whowillIbenext?/anxious/nostalgic/proud. While you're feeling it, be kind to you, okay? Maybe a good movie would give you a little distraction? Want me to send you funny posts on fb? I can do that. 'Cuz I care about you.
PeanutButterCup is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to PeanutButterCup For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-17-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-17-2016), mirage (10-17-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 06:12 PM
  # 164 (permalink)  
Member
 
mirage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,536
Thank you, PBC!!
mirage is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to mirage For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-17-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 06:18 PM
  # 165 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Congrats, Aussie! You are motivating me!

Went to the SMART meeting and waited with 4 other for a no show leader. Oh well, came home and knocked out some tasks. The ADD meeting was good. Picked up some good tips and DW went too, so she learned a lot too.

Counseling session in am, and lots of work to do as well.

Good night, all!
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-17-2016), mirage (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 06:19 PM
  # 166 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,552
Blog Entries: 1
(((mirage)))

Hi PBC & Lofty

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-17-2016), mirage (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 06:23 PM
  # 167 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Mirage and PBC, sorry I missed your posts. They were on the next page. Mirage, I kinda know the feelings you are having, but they definitely affected my wife more than me. You've done a super job raising your kids and should be proud. Plus, they will always need you! That part doesnt go away. You will be fine, I am sure.

PBC, I must've missed your post about your friend, but prayers sent just the same.
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), mirage (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-17-2016, 06:24 PM
  # 168 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hey, Dee!
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), mirage (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 04:18 AM
  # 169 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Today is day 15. Its been a while since I could say that. It's a start!

Enjoy the day!
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 05:44 AM
  # 170 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,552
Blog Entries: 1
I missed your post as well Lofty

Congrats on your progress

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Babs1234 (10-18-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 06:52 AM
  # 171 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs1234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,269
Way to go Lofty !
hi everyone !
Babs
Babs1234 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Babs1234 For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 01:43 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
orangutan
 
aussieblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,758
Originally Posted by PeanutButterCup View Post
That sounds like a big mixture of sad/scared/whowillIbenext?/anxious/nostalgic/proud. While you're feeling it, be kind to you, okay? Maybe a good movie would give you a little distraction? Want me to send you funny posts on fb? I can do that. 'Cuz I care about you.
Mirage you could possibly add hormones to that list , just a thought .

PBC continued prayers .

Lofty day 15 !!!!

Hi Babs and Dee
aussieblue is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to aussieblue For This Useful Post:
Babs1234 (10-18-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 03:31 AM
  # 173 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I goofed

I am trying to replay the reel in my mind. At what point did I decide to drink last night? It was a decision and I even announced it to my wife before I did it. I was really tense yesterday, almost desparate with all the things I am behind on. I was embarrassed to be so disorganized in front of my employees. The pressure built during the day. I missed deadlines and it could be costly. There is so much on my plate right now that I felt I would explode. We had a special dinner planned for my son before he leaves for his next military assignment. And then a good friend of the family wanted to stop by to visit with Ben. We sat at the bar. I had already decided we would all do a shot of whiskey and have a beer. That turned to 2, then 3, then a glass of wine with our (late) special dinner. Then another glass after dinner. 6 drinks, in all, out of nowhere.
What did I do wrong? How did this come on? Why did I not only permit it to happen, but not prevent it when I had even announced it was coming? How did I allow myself to get all tied up in a knot? I had just yesterday celebrated 15 days with my counselor and announced I would carry on with it! What in hell is wrong with me? Why didn't I tell my friend it wasnt a good time to come over and go on with a nice sober dinner? Did I just want to have drinks? Did I want to send my son off with a celebration? Have I repressed so many feelings of conflict about his military service that it was impossible not to drink? Am I escaping feelings of failure or simply sabotaging any chance of success? What in hell is wrong with me? I am friggin tired of all the constant anxiety in life and the feeling that our world is going to hell in a handbasket. Incompetent leaders. Amoral values. Red tape in every direction in life. Technophobia. Its all BS. Everyone is out for their own interests, at any cost to others, without concern. I just want to withdraw and live off the land in a cabin in the woods and just say "enough!"

God, do I need help.
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 04:08 AM
  # 174 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,552
Blog Entries: 1
Yeah I think you do need help Lofty - but accepting that might just be your turning point?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 04:46 AM
  # 175 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I hope so, but Ive already been getting help! What else can I do?
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 05:06 AM
  # 176 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,552
Blog Entries: 1
You've already made a start by reviewing what happened and thinking about what you might have done instead

That will help you next time you feel overwhelmed.

I don't believe sobriety is beyond anybody's capability - certainly not anyone who can post lucidly to SR, and certainly not beyond you Lofty

You drinking again doesn't negate the help you have already - it may mean you need more help. or it may mean you have to work harder on forcing yourself to access the help you have when you need it.

You may have to make more changes to your life to better reflect your desire to be sober.

This is a great link on making a recovery plan that addresses those two things and many other things besides.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

you may have seen it before...if so I think it's well worth a re-read and a re-think.

This is also a helpful list:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Don't lose yourself in despair. A little stumble now shouldn't mean you pulling out of the race.

You can do this - think about what else you can do - and there's always something - and do it Lofty

I'm off to bed now but I hope you have a good day all things considered

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 06:45 AM
  # 177 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Thank you, Dee. I will study those links
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 07:44 AM
  # 178 (permalink)  
Member
 
mirage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,536
Aw, I'm sorry, Lofty. I was impressed with your introspection about it, though.

The key is to ask those questions when your'e feeling the urge. When I read, "I had already decided we would all do a shot of whiskey and have a beer. " I thought "STOP! Right there, THAT'S when you ask yourself your list of questions". Why are you giving yourself permission?, etc. THAT'S when you come here and ask for help. As soon as your addiction tells you it's ok to do a shot and a beer, THAT'S when you reach out and when you need to see that that is Addiction talking. It's not a rational choice, it's Addiction. It's your comfort zone, it's natural. We get it, we get why it happens. You have to beat it at it's own game. Identify it, picture it someone trying to get you to do something you don't want to do. That's why I capitalized it, it's like a person, a proper noun. Say NO to it. Change the plan. That's how you get stronger and that's how you beat it and that's how you form new habits. We're breaking habits and forming new ones. Our brains want us to stay in old, comfortable habits. It can be torturous to not engage in those habits. It's soooo effing HARD to not drink sometimes, but we must. Our happiness depends on it.
mirage is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to mirage For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-19-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 01:13 PM
  # 179 (permalink)  
SoberOutlook
 
LoftyIdeals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Thank you mirage. You are correct. I need to be able to identify the pressures that occurred even before the decision and deal with them as they come. My mind can be such a cluster at times.
LoftyIdeals is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LoftyIdeals For This Useful Post:
aussieblue (10-19-2016), Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), mirage (10-20-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)
Old 10-19-2016, 03:03 PM
  # 180 (permalink)  
orangutan
 
aussieblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,758
(((Lofty)))
what's done is done , it's time to start again.
I also need to work on the giving in part , when things get to much I tend to give myself permission.
I am coming into a dangerous time of the year for drinking , the storms , the heat and a lot of drinking happening around me , all things that bring me undone . I wish I could just skip half the year.

Sending strength your way Lofty.
aussieblue is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to aussieblue For This Useful Post:
Babs1234 (10-19-2016), Dee74 (10-19-2016), LoftyIdeals (10-19-2016), mirage (10-20-2016), PeanutButterCup (10-21-2016)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:57 PM.