LoftyIdeals

A nice crisp Fall morning for the start of my Day 5. I've had just a few weak or tempting moments this week; usually at times of anger or frustration. But I made it through them without drinking and am the better for it.

Thanks for all your greetings! All is well with me otherwise and hope it is for you too. Enjoying my son being home from overseas on leave!

PeanutButterCup

Oh, Aussie! I'm so so so sorry! That's heartbreaking. This disease takes prisoners, dead and alive. This is real, and it's awful. Cry all you want at that funeral - that's okay. You're supposed to be sad. This sucks. Not feeling anything would be much worse than having a tender heart. The last thing this world needs is more hard-hearted people.

Lofty, great job! Keep it going! And thank you.

LoftyIdeals

Day 7 complete. Why am I more tired sober than when drinking?! Just finished a study session with my son. We are both under the gun to get on track with our classes. It was our first of daily sessions on days we both have the time and are accountability partners. And we both got some studying and homework done. I like that.

But my brain has been foggy for the last two days. I dont like that. I was afraid I would drink tonight so I went to a SMART recovery meeting this afternoon. It helped. Just 4 of us, but good people and discussion.

Thanks for still being here, folks!

LoftyIdeals

So tired! How much sleep is my body trying to catch up on! Day 8. Hope everyone has a great day!

Dee74

you too Lofty
D

LoftyIdeals

Much better day today. Much of the fog lifted and it was a productive day. Hope it stays that way!

Hope all are well.

mirage

Good job, Lofty! Keep up the good work!

LoftyIdeals

Day 9 today. Yesterday was pretty productive. Sleep is more meaningful. I have some real opportunities and choices ahead of me; glad my head is clearing. You folks are my rock anchor in sobriety, despite the lack of chatter right now. I have to re-earn your trust, and I will. I get that I've been anything but stable in this journey on SR. But, I am back and plan to stay.

Now, let's enjoy our sober days!

Dee74

This thread isn't as active as it used to be Lofty and hasn't been for a while - I'm sure noone here needs you to prove anything.

We just want the best for you

I am glad to see you posting in the October group

D

LoftyIdeals

Thanks, Dee. And, I feel the support; wasnt trying to knock the thread. Just recalling my falls in and out of it, and If it were me, I'd be thinking, oh, it's Lofty again, he will be here for a few weeks and then skedaddle. And, rightfully so. I also dont want to trigger anyone else to justify or rationalize their own choices by my falls, when they happen. I think this time is a little different for me, though, as I have a counselor who is in recovery himself, and my eyes are seeing life a bit differently these days. Don't want time to keep slipping away, and would like to model a different lifestyle for my family. I also have the unwieldiness of my ADD under better control, which was often a factor in poor choices in the past.

Thanks for your comment. Upon re-reading my post, it does seem a little pathetic.

Dee74

I think you're being too hard on yourself. Everyone here knows how it is

D

LoftyIdeals

Maybe so. Sober thoughts tend to be sobering!😬

Babs1234

hi Lofty ! so glad to see you here. and Hello to everyone !.
Just got back and feeling great. My sister just left a couple of days ago and I've
been busy out of town for a couple days now also. Haven't been on SR so, getting caught up. It's funny I was only gone for a day or two and I missed everyone here on SR. just luv the support here and it has really kept me sober. I keep thinking how sick I got the last time I got sober and it makes me think clearly again. Anyway===Have a great day !
Hugs
Babs

LoftyIdeals

Glad you are back and feeling great, Babs!

mirage

Hey gang! Dee's right, Lofty and we're all glad you're back, but more importantly, glad you're sober. I'm glad the counselor is helping and that you're feeling like this time is different. I'm sure that means something and I know you can beat this thing. It takes time, don't get discouraged. It won't always be difficult and so much work.

Youngest turned 15 yesterday and started driver's ed. What?! lol The oldest got the part of Joseph in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Anyone know it? It's fun and crazy and colorful. He's knee deep in rehearsals, it opens in a month so we're busy with that. Husband and I participated in setting a Guinness World Record by being one of 1,201 couples who renewed their vows in a mass vow renewal record attempt. FUN! It was at my college alma mater on homecoming day so we did that and then went to the football game. Left the kiddos home alone for the first time. It all went great! I'm having a few friends over this weekend cuz the dh is going up north hunting. Gonna make scary halloween snacks and punch!

That's my update! I don't get on here a ton cuz I really don't have much to say except my every day stuff which is really pretty boring. I'll try to check in more often and offer better support. I need to remember how to post pictures, that would help jazz things up. lol

LoftyIdeals

Day 10, thankfully. Stress of yesterday could've easily found me at the bottom of a bottle. I was tempted, but just kept busy with work and plowed through until I was tired enough to go to bed. Urges more than cravings. An emptiness inside that wanted to be filled with booze and the temporary escape it would bring. I did take a hot tub, which helped. Lots of quiet feelings inside are happening, which is driving DW nuts, but my thoughts are still ill-defined and not worth discussion yet. Lots going on in this little head of mine. Anyway, glad I made it through, and important, too, as I am working on one of the most important business initiatives in my recent career history. I can only exercise the wisdom, caution and discretion necessary to properly articulate and execute when I am sober. It's like a different, higher level of awareness, intuition, and reason is only available to me sans alcohol. That's what I need to always remain aware of and keep cognizant. If I truly want success, I must remain sober, not let hurdles cause me to retreat to old behaviors, and to be true to myself and others. Transparent honesty is a deep value to me, and when I dont honor it myself, it feeds the urge to escape reality. I also like it from others, but I dont control their walk. I do, however, ultimately choose with whom I will continue to walk.

Sorry about the crazy thoughts, just working out some of the ill-defined thoughts and feelings in my head.

Anyway, marching forth. Hope you make progress today as well!

Babs1234

hi Lofty and everyone ! the sun is shining and I'm going to go for a walk
and just be thankful for being sober and I'm going to think about all the good things that I have to be thankful for. I've been feeling a little like poor me lately and need a change of attitude. and only I can do that.
Hugs to you
Babs

Dee74

Glad you're thinking a little on other healthy ways to deal with stress Lofty - that's been a real bugbear for you.

D

aussieblue

Hi everyone I am back , we had a lovely couple of days away , glad to be back in my own bed. Came home with 2 new pair of shoes and a blouse. Would have loved to go to the movies but nothing appealed to us. The break done us the world of good.

Lofty I am so proud of you DAY 10 you are doing great.

Babs ,

PBC Mirage and Dee

Dave where are you?

mirage

Hi Babs..hope your walk helped! I need to walk more.

Hey Aus..glad you had a good trip! I haven't been to the movies lately either for the same reason. I want to see Girl on a Train, though. I read it and it was really good, the movie looks good, too! This time of year is the best for movies, the good ones will be coming out soon.

Welcome to day 11, Lofty. Hope it goes well for you. Last time you were here, you mentioned some pretty serious marriage struggles. How's that going for you now? Any better? Is she on board with your quitting this time? Hopefully you have support.

Just prepping for the party tonight. A couple moms and some of my kids' friends. I went to buy some orange lights for outside yesterday and Halloween decos are practically GONE and no lights. Wth?! It's still 2 weeks away! I hung the ghouls on the trees and put spider webs on my bushes yesterday. I have one bush lit, but I need MORE! lol I'm trying Hobby Lobby today.

Have a good one, folks! I'll tell you how the party goes and how the punch was!