Class of March 2011 Part 25
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Thanks, aussie. Lets be strong through the season together, huh? Holidays are hard for me to resist as well. I am sober today, with no plans to drink. In hindsight, it was a combo of exhaustion, embarrassment and despair that sent me in a tailspin and I got so pent up, I knew of no other source of relief. Going forward I will try to remain more aware and take action earlier, like working out or going for a walk or something. I've got a lot going on in my head right now and multiple high priorities. Not an excuse, but I need to be especially wary right now. Not feeling the most secure.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
today when I was at AA an older gentleman said we have to keep our minds busy when the AV sneaks in and how true that is. I've had a couple of trying times today and I don't know why but, I did. They have passed now and I'm so grateful for those words.
Hugs to all of you. There were a couple of people that came up to me today with a hug and I really understand more and more how we are all in this together.
Babs
Hugs to all of you. There were a couple of people that came up to me today with a hug and I really understand more and more how we are all in this together.
Babs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
And don't forget to play that tape to the end, Lofty. Put yourself at the day after. Remember how pissed you'll be at yourself, how disappointed. How your goal is now further away than it was just a day before. Remind yourself that while extremely difficult for awhile, the end goal is vital to living a life that's happier and to get to that goal, we have to get through the uncomfortable. The struggling will stop, it won't last forever. But you have to get through the hard parts, those times when you just feel like screaming and crying because you can't rely on that crutch you've had for 35 years. We only get one shot at this life thing. Don't waste it struggling. You'll feel the freedom, it just takes awhile. 
We're here for you, Aussie! Stupid summer!
We're here for you, Aussie! Stupid summer!
Hope today is less trying!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Believe me, none of us are immune to thoughts of drinking again. I can dismiss it pretty quickly now without too much thinking on it, but it does creep in there. It does suck sometimes. It's what I did a lot of for 30 years, in good times and in bad. It's bound to rear it's head and say, 'what about me? Don't forget about ME'.
Leaves are changing and beautiful, there's a chill in the air. Ahhhh fall. Going to the high school football game tonight and maybe a movie tomorrow. Meeting some friends for breakfast this morning.
Hope my Marchers are doing well today!
Leaves are changing and beautiful, there's a chill in the air. Ahhhh fall. Going to the high school football game tonight and maybe a movie tomorrow. Meeting some friends for breakfast this morning.
Hope my Marchers are doing well today!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
I'm so sorry about what you've gone through, Lofty. What I learned about my own sobriety was that I need to stay transparent with my sober support group. Completely transparent. A phrase that I learned is "your secrets keep you sick". And, in early sobriety I attended a service where a speaker talked about what exactly chemical dependency is. He said that the chemical is a mood altering thing, which leads to a logical conclusion that I really need to be super-cognizant of my moods. Any variance in any way is a TRIGGER! It could be fear, anxiety, stress, tiredness, celebration, embarrassment, conflict, joy, ANYTHING.
And, I learned that if I wait to reach out until I want to drink, I WON'T reach out. By that time, I want to drink and I don't want anyone to talk me out of it.
I needed to reach out every single time my mood was anything other than completely peaceful. And I did. I called my friends and said things like, "Don't worry, I'm not ready to drink, but this is going on and I know that could LEAD to me wanting to drink." There was something incredibly freeing about keeping everything out there in the open, and I was able to get through those really hard first months.
Based upon this experience in my own life, plus a bajillion others, plus watching tens of thousands of others through my job and through ministry efforts, I've decided that humans thrive in community. Honest, open, vulnerable, authentic community. Anytime I say to myself, "I don't want anyone to know that", it's a sign that it's not a good idea. Anytime I let others (who I trust) in on what's going on in my heart, I make choices that lead to more positive consequences.
And, I learned that if I wait to reach out until I want to drink, I WON'T reach out. By that time, I want to drink and I don't want anyone to talk me out of it.
I needed to reach out every single time my mood was anything other than completely peaceful. And I did. I called my friends and said things like, "Don't worry, I'm not ready to drink, but this is going on and I know that could LEAD to me wanting to drink." There was something incredibly freeing about keeping everything out there in the open, and I was able to get through those really hard first months.
Based upon this experience in my own life, plus a bajillion others, plus watching tens of thousands of others through my job and through ministry efforts, I've decided that humans thrive in community. Honest, open, vulnerable, authentic community. Anytime I say to myself, "I don't want anyone to know that", it's a sign that it's not a good idea. Anytime I let others (who I trust) in on what's going on in my heart, I make choices that lead to more positive consequences.
orangutan
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,970
Mirage, the weather is beautiful here at the moment, cool nights and around 22 degrees c. through the day, we are set to warm up later this week with a storm on Friday , we haven't had any rain for ages , my lawn is crisp and sand , so we need the rain, if only it could come without lightening and thunder.
All is good in Aussie land.
Love to all.
All is good in Aussie land.
Love to all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
hi guys ! things are going good here too.
I'm meeting a girl friend for coffee this morning. I haven't seen her
in a long time and really looking forward to it.
Have a good day everyone.
I didn't sleep all that well last night and you know how it is ----I think I solved everyone's problems and looking forward to a good nights sleep tonight.
Babs
I'm meeting a girl friend for coffee this morning. I haven't seen her
in a long time and really looking forward to it.
Have a good day everyone.
I didn't sleep all that well last night and you know how it is ----I think I solved everyone's problems and looking forward to a good nights sleep tonight.
Babs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Have a great coffee date, Babs! Sorry you didn't sleep well, that can really make a day rough. Hope tonight's better!
We have a choir concert tonight and I'm taking tickets at the door. Working as a hall monitor at a middle school for the rest of the week. Should be interesting!
We have a choir concert tonight and I'm taking tickets at the door. Working as a hall monitor at a middle school for the rest of the week. Should be interesting!
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