nmd

Sorry for the rough night JG, tv and cell phones usually make those nights longer for me, but they only really happen when I i have lot on my mind. Like dee said, take care of yourself today.

nmd

Trying to keep things as normal as possible around the house despite an enormous amount of stuff to do. Cooked dinner at home instead of what has become the routine takeout or going out.

My fiance is stressing about money because she's been out on disability for her back and the short term has run out. She cares for disabled adults and there's no way she can return because of lifting and training requirements (she has arthritis in her back that won't get better, and a bulging disk). It's sad because she loves working with people and was close to the guys she cared for but she's looking at other jobs. We're ok financially, just need to watch the spending. She understandably wants an income though.

Still sober though, day 38 i think. Have a great one!

TryingInTexas

The hardest part for me is the late afternoon. "Just head over to the bar across the street, just one before you go home." But it's been 43 days now that I haven't headed over to the bar across the street. Maybe they miss me. More likely they don't really care.

JG62

Thank you all for your kind words. Really tired and annoyed with myself because I have wasted the day by sitting around feeling sorry for myself and texting my husband because I just needed to hear from him. I hid my phone so I couldn't keep checking it. What man wants a needy woman I would go to bed but it's only 2pm here in the UK and I also have an appointment at the hairdressers and hoping that makes me feel better. My ass needs a good kick. I should have just gone out for a walk and now I don't have the time to do that, even though I have been up since 4am. AAARGH. But I guess at least I didn't drink.

soberforme06061

Good morning - I'm on day 51 today and I woke up late, got stuck in traffic and just having a crap morning. I will not let it determine my day though!

So, I have a question for everyone. Have you guys told anyone in your "circle" besides your partner that you have decided to quit drinking? If so what was their response?
Here's the reason for my question. I have two very close friends of mine that I've known for many years (20+) grew up with them etc. We all lead differently lives as they're both military wives and live on base with their husbands and children. I get to see them when they come to Dallas and we cook out and drink and have a great time every time they come. The thing is, I don't see them on a daily basis so all they see from me is "social drinking". Anyhow I told one of them yesterday that I quit drinking and was on day 50. Her response was, "that's great you've cut alcohol out, congrats on the new you". So what I got from that response is she has no idea I had a problem to begin with. I also think people don't realize how alcohol can seriously take over someones life. Planning everyday around when they can have that first drink. Or rushing home from anywhere just to continue drinking. Planning every outing around drinking and if beer was allowed etc. Planning dinner out at places that ONLY served alcohol because any place that didn't serve alcohol was out of the question for my family. I'm so glad to not give a crap about that anymore at all. I feel like I've been released from my own internal living hell if that makes any sense at all. I don't think anyone knows I'm an alcoholic also because I'm good at hiding it. Today I feel , all over the place about everything. I wouldn't say I was bored or anything more like I have so much to do but can't seem to prioritize. I'm kind of ready for the kids to go back to school also but then again that means I have to volunteer at the school which will take up time. The issue at my kids school is they go to a Catholic school so guess what their school does at every event... DRINK! There are times during the school year that we're to bring a bottle of wine and bread also. Why is everything in society based on alcohol? Are we all the rebellious by NOT drinking? Are we the outcasts? Ughh... see I told you guys I'm all over the place today! Thanks for being my sober family yall I appreciate you for listening! We're all doing pretty dang good even if a few have slipped that's all it was... we are stronger than our addiction WE ARE!

nmd

Sfm - My fiance only, but other friends know I haven't been drinking. I just didn't get into a discussion that it's permanent. Not worth arguing with their av or drinking rational.

Your friends reaction sounded pretty neutral.

Drinking follows the 80/20 rule, 20% of us do 80% of the drinking. Maybe 10% are alcoholics. Other people don't get it. They never will. We can tell them our stories which may suprise people, but it will be like watching a reality show. They still won't "get it".

That's ok. I've been told that sobriety is an inside job. It's nice to have other people who understand, but that will never be everybody. Is like telling a young couple about being a parent. They just have to live it to understand.

nmd

Also a Catholic (non practicing) myself. Communion with wine, church October fests and picnics with drinking are still a big thing here too. Most people just aren't alcoholics

soberforme06061

nmb - That's a great way to think of it as an inside job. That's SOOO true it really is. I'm beat down by alcoholism though and wish it wasn't shoved in my face every single day. I guess I just never paid attention prior but it's advertised, talked about and consumed by almost everyone.

My husband is an alcoholic and I don't think he realizes it, I wish he would cut back and just come to my level. We live right by the lake and lastnight I wanted to stop at this new walk path they built that takes you a few miles around the lake. The sun was going down and it was so beautiful outside. My husband didn't want to stop to check it out because I know he was wanting that beer that was calling his name at home. It makes me sad that he is missing out on life, and I'm ready to live and experience and do all the things that I missed out on by my evenings of drinking. Again... another vent session.

luvmygirls

JG, I don't know how you're even functioning with so little sleep...I would have jumped back into bed, 2 p.m. or not! The good news is, you will hopefully be so exhausted tonight that you will fall asleep immediately.

Day 58. The only person I've told about my sobriety is my husband, and even with him, I barely mention it. I feel like I take in tons of information from this board and elsewhere, and it's all I can do to process it for myself without talking to someone else! I can see the benefit of face-to-face support at some point, but it will probably be in the form of either AA or therapy, with strangers.

U75

Day 37. Regarding our alcoholic culture, one of the biggest revelations to me since I quit is how big the non-drinking percentage of the populations really is. I always assumed that everyone was a drinker, and that everyone routinely got drunk. Now that I've lost those AV-shaded glasses, I'm amazed when I look around and see how many people just don't drink around me.

Of course, the irony is that so much of our culture is geared towards the promotion of drinking. Like sports? They're better with beer! Like to relax after a workout? Michelob ultra for you! Are you a hip young trendsetter? You've got to have a few high-priced bottles in your tastefully decorated wet bar. Want to seem more attractive? Drink our vodka! Want to appear more manly? Drink our scotch. You see it everywhere. It is tiresome, in that it presents a skewed version of our society, and is dangerous for alcoholics, because it provides a built in rationalism for having that next drink.

SnazzyDresser

Yeah, I'm not telling anybody anything. Need to know basis, baby. And I'm the only one who needs to know. I'm kinda a lone wolf type anyway.

49 days done btw, 7 squared. Today will be 50.

JG62

luvmygirls. I am used to it. It's not the first time he has upped and left and I always end up sleep deprived and then he texts me and says he went to bed when he got back from work at 2.30pm got up at 5.30 and then went back again at 9pm. I just think he likes rubbing salt in the wounds?! Oh well, it's 7.30pm here, just been for a walk, I wrote a post earlier but then it disappeared which was very annoying due to tiredness. Just wish other than being sober I had something good to look forward to. Only told a few people and they haven't said anything but I think they thought 'yea right'! I don't think my husband believes me either and only wants to be around me when I am upbeat - says he is supporting me but it certainly doesn't feel like it. Rambling so better go!
Thank you everyone you are ALL amazing x x x

Wastinglife

Day 67. It's been a very long time since I felt this good, or rather normal. It could be the SSRI I started 9 weeks ago has kicked in. The meds I tried before never really worked because I was drinking on them. Alcohol really made me a miserable bastard. I remember Ewan McGregor saying in an interview something similar when he talked about his alcoholism. It makes sense now

Dee74

You have to run on faith a little bit JG. I promise you'll find lot of things to enjoy ad look forward to - in time.

It took me around 3 months to work out who sober me was and to get out of the dark mindset regular alcohol use had put me into.

have patience

D

theVman31

keep moving forward like D
Sometimes we move forward on all fours but we move forward all the same.

luvmygirls

YES! This. ^^^

nmd

Or at least, don't go backwards. Sometime progress is just keeping the status quo not drinking, not letting everything go

nmd

Yeah, Unless you are a shout it from the rooftop type, I think choosing who you open up to is wise. So many people don't understand. I've avoided facebook at times, restaurants, certain social situations, having beer in the house and so many other things to protect my sobriety.

Avoiding conversations about not drinking with people who will tell me I'm fine and I can drink is just one more thing I do to protect my sobriety. The risk is I guess some people might be supportive and i won't know it until I speak with them. Time will tell though and I think people will figure out I don't drink in time. After a while, it will just be "who I am", and not some big change

luvmygirls

Well said, nmd!!!

Day 59. I feel like I'm moving past initial "sobriety" (not drinking) into thinking seriously about recovery; I just read an article on the SR home page that described it very simply, and it did make me think. I know there are a lot of recovery "purists" (fundamentalists?) who believe that AA is the end all and be all. I obviously don't agree, but at the same time I'm thinking about the importance of structure and fellowship in achieving true, ongoing recovery. Hmm.

I read the Gratitude thread again before going to bed last night. It was such an amazing reminder of all the things I take for granted. Definitely something to think about when the urge to drink resurfaces...

Dee74

I learn a lot from everyone here - and I'm pretty proud of the way these groups roll on with not too many disagreements over method.

There are many ways up the mountain - by bringing them all together here, in an attitude of mutual respect, I think we do a great service

D