Ladybug2

I just went into my husband's office and told him how frustrated I am ..trying to tell on myself as much as I can. Now I am sitting up in my room having a good cry and feeling sorry for myself.

Keets

Hugs

Bobbieka

Well, drinking won't get you to a meeting. You have a couple of hours, can you just go to a park and walk or even shop a little. Something that can help you get in the right headspace. And you are not alone.

Bobbieka

Sucks when you really want to do the right thing and it feels like the universe is conspiring against you. I promise, that is not the case and you are not allowed to use it as an excuse. Hugs, Ladybug. You'll get there. You are doing the right things.

Bobbieka

How are you doing, Ladybug?

Ladybug2

Yep, I don't think anyone realizes how serious this is ...and they just don't get it. My in laws didn't leave until 2:40 and my meeting is 5 minutes away ... really you couldn't have stayed an extra 25 minutes?? I just feel like every time I try and make changes to help my recovery I keep getting pushed back down. I know ultimately it's up to me not to take that first drink, but I need more help and support. I can't do this alone.

Bobbieka

I know I can't. Maybe you just have to keep hitting them on the head until they get it. I don't know if I could do that. It was so hard just saying I needed help to strangers. It would be so difficult with family.

Keets

3:05 pm and I'm past the point of going anywhere today. Pretty content right now and no AV trying to convince me to go anywhere. Already planned dinner yesterday so I wouldn't have to go out tonight.

Bobbieka

good job, Keets. Ladybug, hang in there. On my way out the door. Talk to you all later.

I fell asleep early last night, if I do that again, Love you all. Hang on until tomorrow.

samantha14

Hi everyone. Finally home and checking in. A very long day but also pretty productive. I haven't caught up yet but I will soon. No drinking for this girl today!

LillianGish

Ugh. Two really bad days in a row - all related to a guy who works for me who is making my life MISERABLE. I want a drink so badly, but I know I wouldn't be able to stop because I'm so upset.

I am like the most non confrontational person, but this guy is a major hothead. For over a year now, I've done my best to keep him happy and calm, when everyone around me complains about his temper and his angry confrontational style.

This week he got mad at me over something really trivial, acted out, then called in sick yesterday. Came in today ready for a fight. Only took a couple of hours...then he stomped into HR to complain that "I humiliated him and it was vindictive and deliberate." Oh brother.

I'm shaking from both anger and fright.

But I won't drink. Just needed to let out these emotions. I'm ok.

ManInTheArena

Ladybug and Lillian - ugh. It can suck sometimes - that is life. Bug, I really feel for you - trying your best, needing a helping hand and not finding one. I hope posting here helped a little. LG, I've never really had drama like that at work. In many ways I'm lucky that in all my years of work I've never had to directly supervise anyone. Hope it works out okay.

Keets and Kayak seem to be having good days. That is awesome!

I'm working late tonight, which is okay. I had a few close calls the past 2 days, so hoping that keeping my head down and plowing through a few projects keeps me on the straight and narrow.

ManInTheArena

Samantha, you are sounding very positive, too!!

I love reading your upbeat messages. Thanks

Bobbieka

Lillian, I want to beat someone up for you.

Dee74

Ladybug - I remember how hard it was to assert myself in the beginning but maybe you need to stand firm a little and say I need you to stay until such and such a time - and tell them if they can't do that, you'll make other arrangements?

I'm sorry about this guy Lillian - is there any way you can get away from him?

D

Ladybug2

Yep, you are right again, Dee. Thanks

CaseyW

Eight hours later, I am forcing myself to put the video game controller down. In fact, the batteries on the control went dead so I'm not putting any new ones in today. But you know what? There's nothing really wrong with me spending my day off doing something I enjoy, even if it's as pointless as a video game.

Heating up the oven now. Going to cook dinner and then shower and head to an AA meeting.

Missy, you are sounding great. Glad you're able to fully be there for your daughter this weekend. The rewards of sobriety are immediate.

Good solid plan for the day, Keets. Way to recognize the danger zones and steer clear of them. Very good! Enjoy your dinner.

Yes, Bobbie. I obsess in many areas of my life, not just drinking. One step at a time, right?

Looking forward to being a part of this new book in your life, Kayak. Mow the lawn 10 times if that's what it takes to get through the day.

Sorry to hear about your plans for a meeting falling through, Ladybug. Important thing is to not drink over it. There are meetings every day, you'll figure out a way to get to one soon. But a drink now isn't the answer. In fact, it's the opposite of the answer. Glad you communicated with your husband. All you can do is take care of your side of the street, you can't control your in-laws or your husband's decisions. Be as open and honest with those you're depending on for help with the kids as you can, try to make them realize how important getting this time for your sobriety is, that you weren't just looking for time away from the kids for no real reason. Wishing you the best this evening.

Glad you made it through the day, Samantha!

Yep, let those feelings and thoughts out, LillianG. That d-bag (you decide what the "d" stands for) isn't worth you drinking over. That would just be punishing yourself, not him. Stick close. We've got your back on the sobriety front.

Have a nice evening at work, ManInTheArena. Remember we're here if you need us.

How are you doing, clearlyheaded?

Would love to hear from Applekat and Jemma and Fred and Fabela and Mish and Spacegoat anyone else who hasn't posted today. Oh, and it's about time for immri to wake up!



If you're struggling, stick close tonight. Drinking is a false solution and can very well make things even worse. You can do this! We can do this!

immri

Hi all, busy day ahead trying to catch up on work.
I need to vent a little though - I'm getting a bit frustrated with friends complaining about their problems, when to me they all seem so silly and easily solved. I'm trying to remember that it's all relative, and I've been in the position of feeling bad about something small and then feeling guilty I'm not more grateful for the good things I have, but I'm in a place right now where I want to be around positivity or at least effort - the negativity without trying to improve anything is driving me a bit crazy. I'm trying to be really aware of it so I don't become some insufferable holier-than-though jerk, but it's really draining.

In more positive news the smell of my hand sanitizer reminded me of the vodka i would drink straight from the bottle, and I nearly threw up just from the thought. I have to admit my strong gut reaction to alcohol now makes this much easier, drinking is not even a happy memory anymore.

immri

What video games are you playing Casey?

Bobbieka

Heading to my meeting. Didn't fall asleep.

Found the piece to my Fitbit. Charging and will be up and running this evening.

Talk to you all later.