Class of June 2016 Support Thread Part 3
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,381
21 days banked, Wednesday is 22. Monday was probably the closest I've come to drinking since Day 1. I got groceries early and wore myself out deciding what food to buy and the nonstop self-talk. I want something tasty, but also healthy, am I eating too many carbs, blahblahblah on and on. Making myself crazy over pretty much nothing.
I got home and spent half an hour thinking how nice it'd be to shut off all the self-talk for a day, to go back and buy a case of beer and a bag of salty peanuts in the shell and have a little vacation from the world and myself, like I used to. But I countered with the pride I have in my days and the horrible way I'd feel the next day. Went for a walk and cooled my jets, happy ending.
I exhort all of you in our ongoing struggles to stay sober. Not easy but definitely worth the trouble.
I got home and spent half an hour thinking how nice it'd be to shut off all the self-talk for a day, to go back and buy a case of beer and a bag of salty peanuts in the shell and have a little vacation from the world and myself, like I used to. But I countered with the pride I have in my days and the horrible way I'd feel the next day. Went for a walk and cooled my jets, happy ending.
I exhort all of you in our ongoing struggles to stay sober. Not easy but definitely worth the trouble.
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Hey SD, I felt the same as you today. Looking for a one day holiday. I relate to you with the eating. I've hardly eaten all day till I cooked something healthy for tea. Its easy to overeat when first sober. I'm 20 kilos overweight and this is the heaviest I've ever been. Congratulations on your sober time.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 258
New to June. I had hit 28 days in the may group, then I had a sudden loss in the family and started drinking right away without even thinking about it. It's so not worth it, all it has brought me is regret, I can't fulfill my goals, I feel like crap, and I can't be the person I know I can be. So, I'm back, I've got this, and I don't need the drink. Howdy to all the june members!
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Hey CL06, That's great that you made it 28 days. A real achievement. I'm glad you are back. Get back to the person you want to be. That's the main goal of not drinking from my perspective. By the way, I'm also talking to myself as I say this.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Day 33. I had a really difficult day yesterday. We're in the midst of moving, so it's stressful and unsettling. Last night, I heard my AV's ideas for the first time: "You just can't lose control of your drinking again! Willpower." and "Maybe it wasn't THAT bad!" This is my response: "If I could control it, I would have already," and "YES, it was THAT BAD!" Past failed attempts at sobriety have taught me that this is how the seed is planted, even though it may take some more time to fully develop into an actual impulse to drink. My plan is to refocus on taking good care of myself, and de-stressing in healthier ways (yoga, breathing, meditation, and good food). I wonder if these feelings are connected to passing an early milestone of 30 days? I wonder if they are connected to my determination to stop eating everything in sight? These are the questions I'll reflect on today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by letsdance 
I have so much anxiety now. Uggg. So does the anxiety get better over time?
It does get better!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
I'm so happy for those of you who are progressing and getting through the tough spots. Great Job!
I'm pulling for those of you who are struggling, as I know that battle all too well. My motivation is not wanting to go through a day 1 again. Just don't give up :-)
Thankfully, I'm not experiencieng too may symptoms since my slip was 1 drink and not a full-blown binge.
I sympathize with everyone who get blindsided by the anxiety. That and a lack of sleep often triggered my drinking but thankfully, I've been sleeping great. I dreamt about peanut butter cookies last night. Plate sized cookies and bite size. I grabbed one plate size and about 6 bite size and set them at my desk...I was at work (more like a nightmare) but didn't eat them. Now I'm thinking about baking a batch today, which is something else I do when I'm feeling anxious.
I started my plan a few months ago, but should really work on it today. Working from home allows me a bit of freedom in my time so a few breaks here and there (I have tons of meetings today) should progress me in my plan.
This weekend is going to be tricky. My birthday is July 3rd and my neighbor throws a huge 4th of July party on the 4th. Non-stop drinking and pot smoking. I'll head over to eat and then go back when he shoots off his fireworks. I'm just not going to worry about it for now...
Well, back to work. Have a wonderful, sober day classmates!
I'm pulling for those of you who are struggling, as I know that battle all too well. My motivation is not wanting to go through a day 1 again. Just don't give up :-)
Thankfully, I'm not experiencieng too may symptoms since my slip was 1 drink and not a full-blown binge.
I sympathize with everyone who get blindsided by the anxiety. That and a lack of sleep often triggered my drinking but thankfully, I've been sleeping great. I dreamt about peanut butter cookies last night. Plate sized cookies and bite size. I grabbed one plate size and about 6 bite size and set them at my desk...I was at work (more like a nightmare) but didn't eat them. Now I'm thinking about baking a batch today, which is something else I do when I'm feeling anxious.
I started my plan a few months ago, but should really work on it today. Working from home allows me a bit of freedom in my time so a few breaks here and there (I have tons of meetings today) should progress me in my plan.
This weekend is going to be tricky. My birthday is July 3rd and my neighbor throws a huge 4th of July party on the 4th. Non-stop drinking and pot smoking. I'll head over to eat and then go back when he shoots off his fireworks. I'm just not going to worry about it for now...
Well, back to work. Have a wonderful, sober day classmates!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
You'll need to see what works best for battling your anxiety, Letsdance. Reading, cleaning and non-caffeine tea work for me. I had to cut back on my morning coffee because it made me jumpy so if you're getting any caffeine, try to get that out of your diet.
It does get better!
It does get better!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 46
I'm back to day 1. The anxiety keeps killing me. I am embarrassed to even admit day 1 again. I am probably going to start having random alcohol tests at work. I am scared of that. My wife feels like our love is gone. I know if I can stay sober it may come back, but I also know i need to stop for me though.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 202
Welcome to the class sweeti, AAKitty & Chickenlady!
JG -- Glad your time with your husband went well & you didn't drink. Congrats!
SD -- Man do I dread the first time I go grocery shopping. I have the same self-talk when I go to the grocery store. Just the thought of going gives me anxiety.
Plus, my regular is next to a liquor store which doesn't help. I know I have to find a new one. Great job on fighting that craving
letsdance & haveto stop -- You can never be a failure it you keep trying, which is exactly what you are doing. The first few days are hell. But, I promise it does get better. I know the anxiety is excruciating. It has sent me back to Day 1 a million times. What I did differently this time was reach out... on here, to my mom, even went AA meetings...whatever it takes. Not saying that will work for you, but its what I did differently this time.
Day 10. Still tired. Crazy dreams have started. Uggh..the vision problems too. I am not sure if they are related to my alcoholism or not. I was hospitalized back in September with extremely blurry vision (almost vision loss) in my right eye. Apparently, it (optic neuritis) is an early sign of MS. They ran all the tests though and have about 75% ruled that out. But, since Sunday the vision in my left eye is extremely blurry, not as bad as before, but definitely making life difficult. I literally almost have my nose to the screen typing this. And work is near impossible. I have researched and it does appear that long term alcohol abuse can affect your vision. It does appear reversible, but scary nonetheless. My vision in my right eye is back to normal after a month of heavy steroid treatment. My PCP is aware of my alcoholism, but the Ophthalmologist and Neurologist are not. It looks like another appointment with full disclosure if this does fix itself in a day or two.
Anyway... Congrats everyone on racking up days! Hope everyone has a wonderful sober Wednesday!
JG -- Glad your time with your husband went well & you didn't drink. Congrats!
SD -- Man do I dread the first time I go grocery shopping. I have the same self-talk when I go to the grocery store. Just the thought of going gives me anxiety.
Plus, my regular is next to a liquor store which doesn't help. I know I have to find a new one. Great job on fighting that craving
letsdance & haveto stop -- You can never be a failure it you keep trying, which is exactly what you are doing. The first few days are hell. But, I promise it does get better. I know the anxiety is excruciating. It has sent me back to Day 1 a million times. What I did differently this time was reach out... on here, to my mom, even went AA meetings...whatever it takes. Not saying that will work for you, but its what I did differently this time.
Day 10. Still tired. Crazy dreams have started. Uggh..the vision problems too. I am not sure if they are related to my alcoholism or not. I was hospitalized back in September with extremely blurry vision (almost vision loss) in my right eye. Apparently, it (optic neuritis) is an early sign of MS. They ran all the tests though and have about 75% ruled that out. But, since Sunday the vision in my left eye is extremely blurry, not as bad as before, but definitely making life difficult. I literally almost have my nose to the screen typing this. And work is near impossible. I have researched and it does appear that long term alcohol abuse can affect your vision. It does appear reversible, but scary nonetheless. My vision in my right eye is back to normal after a month of heavy steroid treatment. My PCP is aware of my alcoholism, but the Ophthalmologist and Neurologist are not. It looks like another appointment with full disclosure if this does fix itself in a day or two.
Anyway... Congrats everyone on racking up days! Hope everyone has a wonderful sober Wednesday!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Oregon, West Coast, U.S.
Posts: 393
Hi, I'm here on Day 3 and feeling pretty good. I have definitely had some urges over this week, but nothing I haven't been able to get thru yet. My little 2 year old has been home sick this week, and I had to miss work, which has been a blessing in disguise. We have had so much fun spending time together just me and her. Last night I got irritated, because getting her to bed was rough, my dogs kept barking so loud and the noise just got to me. So, I just cried for like 5 mins after she went to sleep. I got settled down after that and did some reading until I fell asleep myself. That always feels a lot better than passing out from drinking! I'm staying focused today.
And a very special thank you to Ambuler for inviting me to join this thread. I was kinda lost and not knowing where to go next on here. So I appreciate that, and all the support here really does help!
And a very special thank you to Ambuler for inviting me to join this thread. I was kinda lost and not knowing where to go next on here. So I appreciate that, and all the support here really does help!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 202
Welcome bronzie!
Congrats on Day 3! I did a lot of crying during the first few days. It always seemed to help me tremendously to get it out. Glad you are getting to spend time with your daughter (but sorry she's sick
)...
We are glad to have you in our June group!
Congrats on Day 3! I did a lot of crying during the first few days. It always seemed to help me tremendously to get it out. Glad you are getting to spend time with your daughter (but sorry she's sick
)...We are glad to have you in our June group!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Right after my brother died, I turned and walked into the kitchen at his house. There on the counter was the half gallon of Smirnoff vodka, about 1/3 gone.
That was the first time in at least 10 yrs I've seen a bottle and not wanted a drink. ( drank beer, 10 before that probably).
Serious exhaustion going on. Probably depression, I don't know. Got work on steps. Only thing I can do, to move forward.
That was the first time in at least 10 yrs I've seen a bottle and not wanted a drink. ( drank beer, 10 before that probably).
Serious exhaustion going on. Probably depression, I don't know. Got work on steps. Only thing I can do, to move forward.
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