Simplicity4114

Ben- Sorry to hear you're not getting the support you need on the home front! Women are BIG communicators.....so #1 does she understand what your abnormal liver functions tests mean for you & your overall health? Is she aware of the consequences to your health if you were to continue drinking? If not, perhaps take some time to gather some information and share it with her.
#2-have you come out and directly asked her for her support in your continued sobriety? If you haven't, maybe give it a go.
#3-Perhaps she's feeling a sense of loss. If drinking was a major connection point for the 2 of you....maybe she's feeling lonely. Maybe you talked more when you drank and you're quieter now, who knows, either way maybe she just feels like a piece of puzzle that doesn't quit fit anymore, like she lost her partner in crime so to speak. If that's the case, maybe validating those feelings along with reassurance of your continued love, could go a long way. Ask for her suggestions for sober activities that she would enjoy?
Its a journey for us all and our spouses/families are along for the ride. We have to learn to live sober lives and they have to learn "new roles" too. Change is hard. Maybe sitting down with her and being vulnerable along with listening to her point of view would be a good starting point, if you haven't already done so. Lots of hugs ((()))!

Arpeggioh

Wednesday morning, checking in; still motivation-free, but staying sober, doing some of the stuff that needs doing, blowing off the rest.

I'm doing more reading than posting lately, and this subject of alcohol being "everywhere," and always seeing "everyone" drink, comes up quite often. I really think it's more a matter of focus than an actual thing. When we're craving, the seemingly happy party people appear to be everywhere, laughing too loudly while swilling their grog of choice...maybe it's my cranky old man coming out, but I roll my eyes and mutter under my breath when I see them; that scene holds no appeal for me now, so I guess I should count myself lucky. Drunk people bug me (along with barking dogs, shrieking children, loud trucks...and stay off my lawn!! Yup, definitely Cranky Old Man Syndrome...)

But I like all you guys! I wish you all peace and love and junk today, tonight, and tomorrow -- Arp

CountryGal123

Arp, u crack me up!!!! Luv your way with words 👏🤗 we heart u, 2 😜

Well said Simplicity- couldn't give any better advice I don't think. Ben, I hope u start feeling more support on the home front soon. I know when I've tried to quit in the past my hubs would get seriously mad at me. Even told me he resented me one year on our anniversary because I was trying to stay sober. It's taken until my recent problems at work for him to realize that for me it's a very real problem and that I can't be his drinking buddy anymore. It hasn't been easy, for sure. But I think this time it has finally clicked with him that his wife can either drink and die or stay sober and live.

Wishing everyone peace - hope you're ok out there, Jo!!!!

Wt, Camery, Elke, eagle, caramel, LW, tootsies dad - and anyone I may have missed/ hope you're doing well 😁

CountryGal123

Anyone else finally finding their skin / bloat levels getting better? My skin almost looks a normal color again, which is a good feeling compared to the raised veins and ruddy, splotchy redness I'd grown accustomed to...

CaseyW

Wishing all you Mayflowers a safe and sober day! Glad to see so many posting about and not drinking over their struggles. It does get easier with time, I promise. Day 102 for me today. Thanks again to all of you for helping me stay sober one more day.

joandmelandhan

Hi gang. Had a really busy work day today which has shifted my focus. I thank god I still have a good job. It keeps me safe every day. Thank you to you all for your kind words. Sometimes I feel like the only one on a downer (Ben I'm a total Eeyore at the min)
I appreciate every single one of you and know I'm never truly alone now.
Feeling quite calm and happy I achieved some good work today.......love and peace to you all

joandmelandhan

Yes and my eyes are clearer too.....get those nasty toxins out. We'll be beauty queens by Christmas lol

CountryGal123

ha! Woo hoo!!!! 😋

Lonelywombat67

I am cleaning out cabinets and drawers and closets to hopefully get closer to being able to sell the house and move. I'm amazed at some of the stuff I've come across. Going soooooo slowly. I have help to get some of it out of the house and to the curb so someone else can have it. I'm doing the pantry shelves now which had no sense of organization at all. Old canned goods that I should have used. It's shameful how I wasted things. I uncovered a small stash of things I bought in the British section of the grocery store on a whim. A Scottish brand of orange marmalade, some beans for beans and toast for example, but I'm not sure what possessed me to buy Heinz salad cream. What can you do with it?
I also got the ingredients to make apricot ginger scones should I become so inspired.

I'd love to share with you all if I could.
I'm being petulant and horrible lately. When my sister texted "u alive?" I answered "no." Then she said "so this is your ghost then?" And I texted back "sure" I tried to spill my guts out to my family and now I'm just annoying. I refuse to live out my remaining life in text messages and Facebook posts. I disappeared from Facebook too in a fit of pique. I've just disappeared myself. I feel like I've become a mean little kid. I mean is it a sign of old age crankiness or am I normal? Who can say? I wish you all well. We all have very different struggles but share many of the same also.

joandmelandhan

Lonelywombat allow yourself some anger. I think we hate the world coz we hate what we've become. I'd love you to have some real life support honey. Hopefully being here with us will help a bit. Keep posting. Vent your feelings. Lots of love xxx

PS I love heinz salad cream it's lush lol xxx

ben83

Lonely wombat heinz salad cream is great with boiled eggs mashed up and in a sandwhich! If you have any cress even better

Caramel

Lonelywombat - Another vote here for Heinz Salad Cream
I also find the text communicating unsatisfying. A dear extended-family member and I telephone each other for an hour each week which is great to have an in-depth conversation and keep up with our news.
I've even gone back to writing a few letters, rather than emailing. Just adds that extra dimension to the message.
Go well with your house-cleaning and sorting, that's a task I need to do also. Slow and steady does it!
Best wishes to all xx

joandmelandhan

Resting in bed now. Love you guys........peace to you all xxx

joandmelandhan

I just want to share a song with my friends. Rick Astley "Keep Singing". Rick was a dorky singer in my past but this song (keep singing) has inspired me and kept me safe. Look it up friends xxx

Elke516

Hi guys... it sounds like we can form a grumpy old men/women's club. I'll be the first to join ha ha, yes I think the grumpyness comes with age lol.

I think my body is detoxing sugar at the moment, I stopped eating cookies and junk food a couple of days ago and bad headaches started soon after, hope it'll be over soon.

Saladcream is my brother in law's favorite, he squirts it onto every food he eats, apart from sweets.

Hey Ben, I hope you're ok. You're doing so well with your sobriety. I'll be thinking of you, hoping you can get your weekend sorted. Best of luck, we're all here if you need to talk.

joandmelandhan

Grumpy gang yes I am in! love you guys xxx

Elke516

Does anyone know how to add a you tube clip and a pic ? I can't figure it out....

Arpeggioh

So glad to hear I'm not the only Cranky Pants on this thread! I hate texts, and I get mad every time I read Facebook posts...yet I continue to look for something interesting or meaningful from my "friends" there; they are not my friends, why am I looking at pics of what they did two years ago?

Elke: I tried to copy and paste an image in my reply; no luck there...wonder what happens if I try embedding a link?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC3Ejf7vPEY

Nope! But that's a link to Rick Astley's 'Keep Singing,' an awesome song, Jo! Thanks! -- Arp

joandmelandhan

Thanks for sharing the link Arp.....that song has kept me strong this week.......keep singing Mayflies!!!!!!!

Lonelywombat67

I managed to add an image to a comment after I had uploaded it to my profile. You have to make sure it isn't too big first. I used a resizing app to do that. Then if you use the Go Advanced button at the bottom of your reply box there is a selection to attach an image. The YouTube button at the top of the comment box works to the extent that you add the link between the two html codes. Although it adds extraneous stuff in the link like extra http:// 's I had quite a temper tantrum trying to get it to work. HTML is so last century. Remember the aughts? I just kept previewing the results until it finally worked.