Class of February 2016 Part 19
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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BTW, everyone, I KNEW that post of mine was LONG and was GOING to time me out and be lost....so don't forget. If you've been typing for a while and finish, before you hit Post Quick Reply do a Control-A, then a Control-C, then if you see the dreaded "you are logged out", when you log back in do a Control-V and it will paste your copied post so you don't lose all of your work........never have to be frustrated with that again! 
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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I was really confident, and kind, but my definite level-best. Really deep strength is showing itself in noticeable ways....
THIS! Lee, one of the best things I have read today. And, such a great, calm, (sometimes relieved) place to live.
OT- I'm sorry you are still feeling badly. The tired thing- possibly a big part. I know that is a BIG one for me. Sometimes more mentally than physically. I know that sometimes when I have a "big" couple of days in a row, it wipes me out for about another day and a half. Really working on that with my big schedule changes. Worked 11 1/2 hs at the restaurant yest (after a long Fri/Sat schedule at CFA per usual) and was strong throughout, esp because I managed to eat right before I started, have a ClifBar in my apron for about 5 and then eat dinner properly about 930. Take care of yourself!
Jeni- congrats!! I am jotting down the days in my calendar right now (I do that often, but am especially careful to right now) 161 so 19 til the milestone for me! One more little reminder note of how long yet short ago Feb 22 was in my world.
I got my schedules for both jobs yesterday and there are two days of overlap "conflict"- I got a little anxious about it when I saw that, but am reminding myself that it WILL workout and I can only work one place on a given day. It will be one or the other, and by communicating with both sides, it WILL be figured out.
Also kinda not wanting to keep working at CFA, so reminding myself that I made a good plan about why it is right to stay on the schedule a day or two there. As days are up and down, reminding myself how much that job has meant and how it is a good, positive, safe place. NOT comparing the money, ie making in 4 shifts at 6FU what I make in 2 wks at CFA (!!!). Repeated notes to self about the whole thing, feeling great about having the privilege of such schedule "problems."
Final tussle with my 1st sponsor on Sat. Will spare you details but it is time to break up. I am going to tell her on our daily 815 call- in 13 min. I am not looking forward to it, am nervous- but reminding myself I have no idea what her reaction will be (might well be what she wants to!) and it is just that- HER reaction. I am making the right, well discussed and prayed on and thought about decision for me. Will report back.
OOTT- congrats!! Cool about where you have come from day 11 to now!
I do have a cool story about Cliff's birthday present to me (my first one as I head towards the next decade on Wed!!!), to share later since this post has been enough me-focused
Happy Mon all-
A
THIS! Lee, one of the best things I have read today. And, such a great, calm, (sometimes relieved) place to live.
OT- I'm sorry you are still feeling badly. The tired thing- possibly a big part. I know that is a BIG one for me. Sometimes more mentally than physically. I know that sometimes when I have a "big" couple of days in a row, it wipes me out for about another day and a half. Really working on that with my big schedule changes. Worked 11 1/2 hs at the restaurant yest (after a long Fri/Sat schedule at CFA per usual) and was strong throughout, esp because I managed to eat right before I started, have a ClifBar in my apron for about 5 and then eat dinner properly about 930. Take care of yourself!
Jeni- congrats!! I am jotting down the days in my calendar right now (I do that often, but am especially careful to right now) 161 so 19 til the milestone for me! One more little reminder note of how long yet short ago Feb 22 was in my world.
I got my schedules for both jobs yesterday and there are two days of overlap "conflict"- I got a little anxious about it when I saw that, but am reminding myself that it WILL workout and I can only work one place on a given day. It will be one or the other, and by communicating with both sides, it WILL be figured out.
Also kinda not wanting to keep working at CFA, so reminding myself that I made a good plan about why it is right to stay on the schedule a day or two there. As days are up and down, reminding myself how much that job has meant and how it is a good, positive, safe place. NOT comparing the money, ie making in 4 shifts at 6FU what I make in 2 wks at CFA (!!!). Repeated notes to self about the whole thing, feeling great about having the privilege of such schedule "problems."
Final tussle with my 1st sponsor on Sat. Will spare you details but it is time to break up. I am going to tell her on our daily 815 call- in 13 min. I am not looking forward to it, am nervous- but reminding myself I have no idea what her reaction will be (might well be what she wants to!) and it is just that- HER reaction. I am making the right, well discussed and prayed on and thought about decision for me. Will report back.
OOTT- congrats!! Cool about where you have come from day 11 to now!
I do have a cool story about Cliff's birthday present to me (my first one as I head towards the next decade on Wed!!!), to share later since this post has been enough me-focused
Happy Mon all-
A
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Oh! Re NA beer. I shared this with Cliff on Sat night- he was a big wine drinker so this doesn't really apply as an option for him - but the topic of drinking "mocktails" came up at a mtg I went to last week.
One of the decently long sober guys (not sure how long but more than me!) brought up that when he stopped drinking, he started making mocktails at his former cocktail hour. He said he enjoyed the new habit, made tasty ones, and his kids got used to his new norm. My reaction? I do not think this is a good idea; it seems like...playing with fire in terms of your habit. Others may disagree but I can't see myself making faux vodka sodas (which would be....club soda with the usual lime, right?) or shifting to fancy ones like they feature in Cooking Light sometimes. A BIG reason that occurred to me for him - and for Cliff bc he has teenage kids- is TRUST. I know if I had seen my alcoholic mom with a "faux" drink in hand, I'd have ALWAYS worried it wasn't fake. Leaving that doubt open...IMO a bad plan. Selfish. Not sure why this struck me so strongly - but maybe my one sentence about trust says it all.
One of the decently long sober guys (not sure how long but more than me!) brought up that when he stopped drinking, he started making mocktails at his former cocktail hour. He said he enjoyed the new habit, made tasty ones, and his kids got used to his new norm. My reaction? I do not think this is a good idea; it seems like...playing with fire in terms of your habit. Others may disagree but I can't see myself making faux vodka sodas (which would be....club soda with the usual lime, right?) or shifting to fancy ones like they feature in Cooking Light sometimes. A BIG reason that occurred to me for him - and for Cliff bc he has teenage kids- is TRUST. I know if I had seen my alcoholic mom with a "faux" drink in hand, I'd have ALWAYS worried it wasn't fake. Leaving that doubt open...IMO a bad plan. Selfish. Not sure why this struck me so strongly - but maybe my one sentence about trust says it all.
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Hey August! I can't have them either.
The only exception I have done is due to the fact that I am a big time foodie. I have been to some of the most amazing restaurants around, and for my 40th birthday I went to Per Se in New York. I wanted to enjoy the meal and asked for the non-alcoholic pairing. It was AMAZING. The bartender also REALLY enjoyed getting creative and made me about 8 different amazing drinks that, to be honest, were even better than the real ones. One was pinot juice, which I didn't know existed, and it was awesome. Another was a cucumber "faux-tini", etc etc. They were great!!
But on a day to day basis I can't do it. I can't even drink Ginger Ale because it makes me want to put VO or Seagram's 7 in it. Ginger Ale to me already tastes alcoholic. I have had "near beers" before and sooner or later they make me want the real thing. So I agree with you.
But Badger, if you are able to do it without it TRULY sparking your AV, then go for it. Everyone is different. They just scare the H*LL out of me personally.
The only exception I have done is due to the fact that I am a big time foodie. I have been to some of the most amazing restaurants around, and for my 40th birthday I went to Per Se in New York. I wanted to enjoy the meal and asked for the non-alcoholic pairing. It was AMAZING. The bartender also REALLY enjoyed getting creative and made me about 8 different amazing drinks that, to be honest, were even better than the real ones. One was pinot juice, which I didn't know existed, and it was awesome. Another was a cucumber "faux-tini", etc etc. They were great!!
But on a day to day basis I can't do it. I can't even drink Ginger Ale because it makes me want to put VO or Seagram's 7 in it. Ginger Ale to me already tastes alcoholic. I have had "near beers" before and sooner or later they make me want the real thing. So I agree with you.
But Badger, if you are able to do it without it TRULY sparking your AV, then go for it. Everyone is different. They just scare the H*LL out of me personally.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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OT--about being tired and down. I totally get YOU too....I have felt tired for "longer than I thought." I think part of it is our bodies trying to rewire and heal. But a couple of weeks ago I felt like I was starting to have a couple of minor "depression" naps. That's when I decided, in earnest, to start exercising again.
It does not have to be hardcore, but just a simple walk each day might help. It is great to clear your thoughts and you will also be doing something great for your body AND mind....but just do it in little steps if that appeals to you. I can tell you since I started seriously just a couple of weeks ago I DO have more energy and have even skipped some naps that I love over the summer. I only nap now when I am REALLY tired, which comes and goes.
But I think it is TOTALLY normal for where we are to still be tired....it will get better, I promise!
It does not have to be hardcore, but just a simple walk each day might help. It is great to clear your thoughts and you will also be doing something great for your body AND mind....but just do it in little steps if that appeals to you. I can tell you since I started seriously just a couple of weeks ago I DO have more energy and have even skipped some naps that I love over the summer. I only nap now when I am REALLY tired, which comes and goes.
But I think it is TOTALLY normal for where we are to still be tired....it will get better, I promise!
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Originally Posted by August252015 
I know if I had seen my alcoholic mom with a "faux" drink in hand, I'd have ALWAYS worried it wasn't fake.
In other words, if alcohol is the crime, cocktail flavoring is the cover-up. This is why mocktails seem odd to me: Mocktails are a cover-up for a crime that never happened! LOL.
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Originally Posted by Leezer
OT--about being tired and down. I totally get YOU too....I have felt tired for "longer than I thought." I think part of it is our bodies trying to rewire and heal. But a couple of weeks ago I felt like I was starting to have a couple of minor "depression" naps. That's when I decided, in earnest, to start exercising again.!
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Mel- cover up for a crime that never happened!! Love it. Will find a way to use it sometime.
OK, so here's a word for you, and the basis of my birthday present story:
"Attraversiamo" - "let's cross over" in Italian
(see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReGeFJXAtbM)
One of my favorite words (I studied in Italy so I have a penchant for Italian word) and when I learned it, even before I stopped drinking, it resonated with me as the right path. I finally found it and am working every day on crossing over.
I shared it with Cliff - this pic is my FB cover photo -
https://tossingyoyos.files.wordpress.../attravers.jpg
I had forgotten I had shared it and on Sat was blown away when he gave me a necklace that he had gotten custom imprinted with the word.
I am not (just) sharing this to be schmoopy, but to say that this word is a basis for my life. For my journey with him, as we recover together and hold so lightly (in the precious sense, if anyone has studied what this concept is) as a new relationship.
We are all crossing over as we work our recovery plans. It is a brilliant thing.
OK, so here's a word for you, and the basis of my birthday present story:
"Attraversiamo" - "let's cross over" in Italian
(see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReGeFJXAtbM)
One of my favorite words (I studied in Italy so I have a penchant for Italian word) and when I learned it, even before I stopped drinking, it resonated with me as the right path. I finally found it and am working every day on crossing over.
I shared it with Cliff - this pic is my FB cover photo -
https://tossingyoyos.files.wordpress.../attravers.jpg
I had forgotten I had shared it and on Sat was blown away when he gave me a necklace that he had gotten custom imprinted with the word.
I am not (just) sharing this to be schmoopy, but to say that this word is a basis for my life. For my journey with him, as we recover together and hold so lightly (in the precious sense, if anyone has studied what this concept is) as a new relationship.
We are all crossing over as we work our recovery plans. It is a brilliant thing.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
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Originally Posted by Leezer
This week I am going to focus on eating well and exercise, and tying up all of the loose ends from a restful summer. I already have all my clothes ready (it's funny, even as a teacher, you still buy "school clothes"), and I am actually already really organized. So I am going to continue to rest and have some fun at home, since I have been very social lately.
You have time to post even after getting your clothes and all the rest put together! (Which reminds me, I have a sack the size of the Rock of Gibraltar to take to the dry cleaners . . .)
You mention the fun of having a casual lunch--very good advice. It made me realize yet again how I have trouble doing anything casually. I am a driven, type-A personality.
For instance, if I received a letter saying "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST WON THE NOBEL PRIZE IN PHYSICS," I would probably react by saying, "only in physics? I knew I should have worked harder on my submission for the Nobel prize in literature. I better redouble my efforts."
I am at an age and stage in life where I feel there is little time left, so there is even a greater sense of drive and urgency. This internal pressure fuels the search for escape in chemicals. Add to this the pressure of feeling that since time is short, I cannot afford to make a colossal bad life decision that will eat up years I cannot spare. Yet I do not trust my judgment. More pressure.
Anyone want to have a casual lunch with a pressure cooker on legs wearing clothes that need dry cleaning? :-(
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Just found out that as of the end of August I'm officially going to be the Sunday supervisor at work. This is exactly what I was hoping for, things are going too well. It's difficult to believe that less than 6 months ago my biggest achievement was not dying in the night.
PHRD - Thank you! I think my body's just adapting to being so busy. My free time is usually spent studying and it's take its toll right now.
Badger - Just a couple of days.
Can't say much about the non alcoholic beer, I'm a fan of mocktails I have to say.
Leezer - That's really odd, you'll have to keep chasing them up about that one. I've definitely sent the money, honest!
Also, I walk over 4 miles a day so I'm good on the exercise front.
August - Thanks! I'm glad you're able to get through the shifts okay.
How did the talk go with your sponsor?
Mel - Good to hear from you, hope all is well.
PHRD - Thank you! I think my body's just adapting to being so busy. My free time is usually spent studying and it's take its toll right now.
Badger - Just a couple of days.
Can't say much about the non alcoholic beer, I'm a fan of mocktails I have to say.
Leezer - That's really odd, you'll have to keep chasing them up about that one. I've definitely sent the money, honest!
Also, I walk over 4 miles a day so I'm good on the exercise front.
August - Thanks! I'm glad you're able to get through the shifts okay.
How did the talk go with your sponsor?
Mel - Good to hear from you, hope all is well.
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Originally Posted by Leezer
BTW, everyone, I KNEW that post of mine was LONG and was GOING to time me out and be lost....so don't forget. If you've been typing for a while and finish, before you hit Post Quick Reply do a Control-A, then a Control-C, then if you see the dreaded "you are logged out", when you log back in do a Control-V and it will paste your copied post so you don't lose all of your work........never have to be frustrated with that again!
D
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Hey guys. Rough day but getting better. Starting Monday I'm getting IV infusions for low iron for 90 minutes for 4 weeks. Overall, when I look at the platelets and iron I think I've been doing better but this infection and all the medications are bringing the plateles down. So antibiotics were not working well so now I've started doxycycline instead of bactrin. Ugh. Ct one week from tomorrow. I think non alcoholic beer is playing with fire. K have to go. I will try to post more tomorrow.
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I've suddenly got three days off in a row. I feel like I'm on holiday! I'm going back to AA later, giving the young persons group another try. I feel a bit lonely when I haven't been to a meeting for a while.
PHRD - I hope it makes you feel better, and that your day improved. It's frustrating right now but at least they're sending you off with treatment rather than nothing. It'll get sorted soon.
PHRD - I hope it makes you feel better, and that your day improved. It's frustrating right now but at least they're sending you off with treatment rather than nothing. It'll get sorted soon.
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Originally Posted by PHRD
verall, when I look at the platelets and iron I think I've been doing better but this infection and all the medications are bringing the plateles down. So antibiotics were not working well so now I've started doxycycline instead of bactrin. Ugh. Ct one week from tomorrow. I think non alcoholic beer is playing with fire. K have to go. I will try to post more tomorrow.
For some reason NA beer sounds foul to me. Fresh water sounds tastier--even though technically speaking it is tasteless . . .
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OT---That is awesome. You know why? There. IS. Still. No. Money. 
Good morning everyone. Had a slow start today. Very sleepy, but good sleepy. Lucky to have the rest of the week off. Ended up having to do more errands than I thought yesterday so today is definitely a chill day.
Keep going strong!!
Lee
Good morning everyone. Had a slow start today. Very sleepy, but good sleepy. Lucky to have the rest of the week off. Ended up having to do more errands than I thought yesterday so today is definitely a chill day.
Keep going strong!!
Lee
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Quick hi to all- more later! I love having my days full, but sometimes it means you don't get prosaic posts till way late
Summer showers here- which means traffic more fun than normal getting to work!
Happy Tu all-
A
(Oh yes- more on the sponsor breakup later!)
Summer showers here- which means traffic more fun than normal getting to work!
Happy Tu all-
A
(Oh yes- more on the sponsor breakup later!)
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
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Today was a bit of a trainwreck but that's fine, I can get back on track tomorrow. Went back to AA tonight and feel a bit better for it.
Still can't get over how odd that is Lee! There should definitely be some money coming your way. How odd. I blame the banks! I've totally sent it!!
Hope everyone had/is having a good day!
Still can't get over how odd that is Lee! There should definitely be some money coming your way. How odd. I blame the banks! I've totally sent it!!
Hope everyone had/is having a good day!
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