CaseyW

Never heard of school being cancelled here for hot weather but AC is definitely a must for at least 8 or 9 months out of the year. Every single building is air conditioned here and has been for decades. But it does still snow and get bad ice here every and now from December thru February so there will be the occasional snow day where school is called off.

immri

Agreed on Dees post, it's awesome seeing that. I swear I immediately thought of you when I read it Casey, the apology for the long post/I live to type part was definitely you too
Obviously a compliment as you're both great
Made me laugh that you saw that too though

immri

I didn't have air conditioning until Uni!!

CaseyW

Well, while Dee still lives to type, he has most definitely learned some brevity over the years so maybe there's still hope for me yet in that department. It wouldn't hurt me to learn from him how to say more in less words.

EDITED TO ADD: I missed Dee's response at the bottom of the previous page until now.

hahaha...Too funny!

Bobbieka

Awesome read. Congratulations, Dee! Such a cool number!

Immri- snow days are the best! Getting out of school for snow was always awesome.

Keets

I just feel like I fell in to a dark hole an can't get out. Everything feels like it's falling apart. Started smoking after 3 years too I am just lost. I don't know what to,do anymore I'm just too tired of having to put so much effort in being sober. I was doing grant for a while and I don't know what happened. It was easier to drink that to fight it.

CaseyW

I've never lived without air conditioning. That amazes me.

LillianGish

I was thinking the other day that Dee packs a wallop of message in few words. An efficient yet deep communicator.

There are things that you've said Dee that stick with me.

It's a gift!

Bobbieka

Keets, I'm sorry to see you struggling so much. You are really strong, but maybe you need a bit more help.

immri

Keets I'm sorry you're struggling but so glad you're still here with us and posting, it's hard to reach out for help but so important. Do you have support outside of SR too?

CaseyW

Keets--I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now. But it is drinking that has caused these problems. You weren't having these issues when you weren't drinking. And you can get back to that place and to somewhere even better by not drinking any more.

Not drinking doesn't have to be a full-time fight. One day at a time, sometimes even one minute at a time, it will get easier and better as long as you don't start this awful cycle over again by picking up that first drink. I promise you it won't stay a fight forever--I wouldn't be 70 days sober today if it was a constant fight. Dee wouldn't be 3,300+ days sober if it was a constant fight. It really does get easier the longer you stay away from that drink. I promise.

You've proven over the last couple of weeks that drinking is not the answer for you. You can stop. You proved that over those 40+ days in March/April/May. Not all of those days were hard, not all of them were a fight. We all saw you having many good and happy moments in April. You can get back there to those good days and to all the good days that are to come. Drinking is not the answer. Recovery is.

And I know you say it's hard for you to get to AA with the kids getting out of school, etc., but you said AA was helping you before and if you can find time to drink now, you can find a way to get there too. You don't have to go every day, but maybe you could find a way to go every two or three days?

You're in my thoughts and prayers tonight. You have been all day. You will be tomorrow. I'm here--we're all here--to help you get through this. You're not alone. I have been in that same hole before. It is possible to get out of it. Not drinking is the first step out.

Keets

i don't know what I need right now

Kayak63sc

Survived the river full day of boofing
Great sober day. Never got upside down one time. close

LillianGish

Boofing? I'm gonna have to google that one!

Glad you had a great day Kayak.

CaseyW

If you're drinking right now, then stopping and getting some water in you is a good start for tonight.

CaseyW

Glad you had a nice day on the water, Kayak! I'm with Lillian in that I'm not sure what boofing is though I can probably get somewhat close via context.

Kayak63sc

There's a bad boofing and a good boofing boofing in a kayak is when you dark in and out of the current , have a blast.

Kayak63sc

Boofing

http://www.paddling.net/guidelines/showArticle.html?352

CaseyW

Thanks for the explanation re: boofing, Kayak. I am always amazed when I see a good kayaker doing that snake like motion through the water. Now I know that's called boofing.

Though I'm not touching that good vs bad boofing phrase with a ten foot oar. We've already had enough toilet humor in here tonight.

LillianGish

Keets, I know you're dealing with a lot. I am new at this myself, and I'm certainly not facing everything you are facing. I can say that when I was drinking...things seemed very dark and hopeless. That was the alcohol talking - dulling my spirit.

You have a very bright shining spirit that would be of enormous help to you in facing challenges. Things will seem more real without alcohol - I can say that.